Verse 33 - Living Self-Mastery

one who understands himself has wisdom.
Mastering others requires force;
mastering the self needs strength.

If you realize that you have enough,

you are truly rich.

One who gives himself to his position
surely lives long.

One who gives himself to the Tao
surely lives forever.

Re: Verse 33 - Advice from Dr Dyer

Re: Verse 33 - Advice from Dr Dyer

EAch word comes from light.

Re: Verse 33 - Advice from Dr Dyer

Re: Verse 33 - Stephen Mitchell & Bryon Katie

From Stephen Mitchell - tao te ching - A New English Version

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.

If you realize that you have enough,
you are truly rich.
If you stay in the center
and embrace death with your whole heart,
you will endure forever.

From Byron Katie - A Thousand Names For Joy - Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are

                                                                                       If you stay in the center
                                                                                       and embrace death with your whole heart,
                                                                                       you will endure forever.

A doctor once took a sample of my blood and came back to me with a long face.  He said he was bringing bad news; he was very sorry, but I had cancer.  Bad news?  I couldn't help laughting.  When I looked at him, I saw that he was quite taken aback.  Not everyone understands this kind of laughter.  Later, it turned out that I didn't have cancer, and that was good news too.

The truth is that until we love cancer, we can't love God.  It doesn't matter what symbols we use - poverty, loneliness, loss - it's the concepts of good and bad that we attach to them that make us suffer.  I was sitting once with a friend who had a huge tumor, and the doctors had given her just a few weeks to live.  As I was leaving her bedside, she said, “I love you”, and I said, “No, you don't.  You can't love me until you love your tumor.  Every concept that you put onto that tumor, you'll eventually put onto me.  The first time I don't give you what you want, or threaten what you believe, you'll put that concept onto me”.  This might sound harsh, but my friend had asked me to always tell her the truth.  The tears in her eyes were tears of gratitude, she said.

No one knows what's good and what's bad.  No one knows what death is.  Maybe it's not something; maybe it's not even a nothing.  It's the pure unknown, and I love that.  We imagine that death is a state of being or a state of nothingness, and we frighten ourselves with our own concepts.  I'm a lover of what is:  I love sickness and health, coming and going, life and death.  I see life and death as equal.  Reality is good; so death must be good, whatever it is, if it's anything at all.

A few months ago I was visiting Needles, the small desert town in southern California where my daughter, Roxann, lives.  I was at the grocery store with her when some old friends of the family whom I hadn't seen for decades spotted me.  “Katie !” they called out, and they came up to me, beaming.  They hugged me, they asked how I was, I told them, and then they asked, “And how is your dear mother doing?”  I said, “She's wonderful.  She's dead.”  Silence.  Suddenly the smiles were gone.  I saw that they were having a problem, but I didn't know what it was.  When Roxann and I were outside the store, she turned to me and said, “Mom, when you talk to people like that, they can't handle it.”  That hadn't occurred to me.  I was just telling the truth.

Until you experience death as a gift, your work's not done.  So if you're afraid of it, that shows you what to question next.  There's nothing else to do; you're either believing these childish stories, or you're questioning them - there's no other choice.  What's not okay about dying?  You close your eyes every night, and you go to sleep.  People look forward to it; some people actually prefer that part.  And that's as bad as it gets, except for your belief that says there's something else.  Before a thought, there's no one, nothing - only peace that doesn't even recognize itself as peace.

What I know about dying is that when there's no escape, when you know that no one is coming to save you, there's no fear.  You just don't bother.  The worst thing that can happen on your deathbed is a belief.  Nothing worse than that has ever happened.  So if you are lying on your deathbed and the doctor says it's all over for you and you believe him, all the confusion stops.  You no longer have anything to lose.  And in that peace, there is only you.

People who know there's no hope are free; decisions are out of their hands. It has always been that way, but some people have to die bodily to find out.  No wonder they smile on their deathbeds.  Dying is everything they were looking for in life:  they've given up the delusion of being in charge.  When there's no choice, there's no fear.  They begin to realize that nothing was ever born but a dream and nothing ever dies but a dream.

When you're clear about death, you can be totally present with someone who's dying, and no matter what kind of pain she appears to be experiencing, it doesn't affect your happiness.  You're free to just love her, to hold her and care for her, because it's your nature to do that.  To come to that person in fear is to teach fear:  she looks into your eyes and gets the message that she is in deep trouble.  But if you come in peace, fearlessly, she looks into your eyes and sees that whatever is happening is good.

Dying is just like living.  It has its own way, and you can't control it.  People think, I want to be conscious when I die.  That's hopeless.  Even wanting to be conscious ten minutes from now is hopeless.  You can only be conscious now.  Everything you want is here in this moment.

I like to tell a story about a friend of mine who was waiting for a revelation just before he died, saving his energy, trying to be completely conscious.  Finally his eyes widened, he gasped, and he said, “Katie, we are larvae.”  Profound awareness on his deathbed.  I said, “Sweetheart, is that true?”  And the laughter simply poured out of him.  The revelation was that there was no revelation.  Things are fine just as they are; only a concept can take that away from us.  A few days later he died, with a smile on his face.

I had another friend who was dying and felt sure he knew when his last moment was coming.  But we die at exactly the right time - not an instant too soon or too late.  This man was intent on doing the Tibetan Book of the Dead thing, and his friends had promised to come to his bedside and do the rituals from the book.  When he called them, they all came, and they went through the rituals, and then he didn't die.  They went home, and a few days later, once again, he was sure he knew when his last moment was coming; the friends showed up, they did all the rituals again, and again he didn't die.  The same thing happened two or three more times, and finally everyone was thinking, When is this guy going to do it?  They had been called so many times !  It was like the boy who cried wolf.  He asked me if I would be there on such-and-such a day for so many hours, and I said, “If I can get there, I will.”  But as he was dying, finally, the people he left in charge didn't even bother to call me.  It wasn't the way he'd planned; it was perfect instead.

Oh, stories - I love them !  What else is there?

Re: Verse 33 - The Tao of Emerson

From The Tao of Emerson by Richard Grossman

From James Legge - The Texts of Taoism, 1891

He who knows other men is discerning;
He who knows himself is intelligent.
He who overcomes others is strong;
He who overcomes himself is mighty.

He who is satisfied with his lot is rich;
He who goes on acting with energy has a firm will.
He who does not fail in the requirements of his position,
          continues long;
He who dies and yet does not perish, has longevity.

From the Essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson - ”Self-Reliance”

He who knows that power is inborn,
That he is weak because he has looked
          for good out of him,
          and elsewhere,
And so perceiving, throws himself
          unhesitatingly on his thoughts,
Instantly rights himself, stands in
          the erect position,
Commands his limbs, works miracles,
Just as a man who stands on his feet
          is stronger than a man who stands on his head.

Re: Verse 33 - The Tao of Emerson

You're a wise woman Deb! I read your posts a lot, but don't often respond…. too busy thinking or there really is nothing I could add. 
So here's an 'I'm still here' and 'I agree'
I have 2 children in my life at the moment who are gravely ill, one a relative, the other a friends child. I have learned a lot about living in the moment from these two brave souls. One day while meditating I had a realization that what they needed to do was to love their cancer / tumor. Not only was the cancer a source of life lessons to be embraced and learn from, but it also is apart of them. All too often people shy away from looking at an illness or recoil with terror at the thought of a hideous growth. It must be removed, destroyed, cut out! It is difficult to watch a little child suffering and in pain, so the disease is viewed as an enemy and the family tackle the problem like they are going into battle. Fear of loss and a need for victory become an all consuming force.
I have learned to accept that I can't heal everyone and my role as a healer is to be a participant in the process. I have learned that there are reasons for illness and lessons to be learned. I'm not suggesting that medical intervention isn't a viable option. Just saying that rather than reacting in fear, a quiet contemplation and a more peaceful approach might be worth a try.
It is a dream of mine to open a clinic for cancer patients and those who are terminally ill, to provide free meditation, massage and other alternative therapy to help with this peaceful approach.

Re: Verse 33 - Cancer and Dying

Karin Maree,

I commend you on your desire and intention and I pray along with you that it comes to pass for you.  Please read today's 365 Tao daily guide on dying.  It brings back such memories for me.
Yes, I think what Byron Katie offers is a new way of looking at this condition.  I went through much the same thinking in our family.  Everything was tried for my FILs tumor - chemo, 6 weeks of daily radiation and then, a declaration of victory (to which I cringed internally but never said a word for I had read this particular tumor is notorious for returning).  Signs began to occur about 6 mos later that it was returning, a new procedure called a gamma knife was tried to no avail.

Now, I'm not saying any of that was wasted.  While life yet asks to express itself, we should support that with whatever knowledge we have.  The treatments accelerated the aging process in my FIL.  My in-laws had expressed a desire for no extraordinary measures and to die at home.

It was difficult and intense but ultimately gratifying to do so.  It was peaceful and loving.  Someone was always there to hold the hand.  I was the spiritual midwife, my first such experience.  He chose me as the others were good at loving and caring for the physical needs but lacked any foundation for that.

And what did I do really?  I accepted that he was dying and would die and did not obsess after keeping him alive, I knew he wanted to go, he told me so.  I was a calm presence, just accepting enirely who he was each moment with sympathy and compassion that he ultimately had to walk through that door alone, that at some point, I would have to let go of his hand and let him.

The last afternoon of his life, he became radiantly peacful.  My husband and his brother had finally given up on keeping him lucid and had made him comfortable.  He no longer needed my physical presence.  Instead, I took him with me in mind and heartful for one last walk in our woods at sunset.  He died with the next dawn.

Be there for these children, whenever you are able, as a calm presence.  The medical people and the family will do their own roles.  One who is called to such work need not second guess if death is imminent, although I knew certainly in my recent experience.  Always support and believe in life as long as it exists but not in  fearful way, in a respectful and honoring way.  Death simply frees the life force energy from the body and the same door it came in by, the personal self goes out through, freed of earthly possessions.  Life continues - always honor that It Is.

Deb

Re: Verse 33 - Jonathan Star

From Jonathan Star - Tao Te Ching - The Definitive Edition

One who knows others is intelligent
One who knows himself is enlightened

One who conquers others is strong
One who conquers himself is all-powerful

One who approaches life with force
          surely gets something
One who remains content where he is
          surely get everything

One who gives himself to his position
          surely lives long
One who gives himself to Tao
          surely lives forever

Re: Verse 33 - The Tao of Motherhood

From The Tao of Motherhood by Vimala McClure

33

CONTENTMENT

You can know your children with
some intelligence.  Knowing
yourself requires enlightenment.

You can manage your children
with strength.  Mastering your
own life requires true power.

To accept what you are is to be
content, and contentment is the
greatest wealth.  To work with
patience is to gather power.
To surrender to the Eternal flow
is to be completely present.

Re: Verse 33 - The Tao of Motherhood

To accept what you are is to be
content, and contentment is the
greatest wealth.  To work with
patience is to gather power.
To surrender to the Eternal flow
is to be completely present.

Amen sister….this is why I come to visit here…and this place is always rich with love and wisdom.

:)
Aley

Re: Verse 33 - The Tao of Motherhood

Ah Aley, what a gift to find you visited! And to see that canine icon again on your profile!

Re: Verse 33 - The Tao of Motherhood

You have inspired this:
http://taoist.gaia.com/blog/2009/3/the_present_is_the_key

Re: Verse 33 - Living Self-Mastery

I was contemplating the wrap up of this verse and what came to me is just how central “self-mastery” is to why someone would even be interested in studying the Tao.  The Tao certainly isn't about becoming wealthy or having power over others.  The Tao is about subtlety, even when pursuing some of those concepts (wealth or abundance, power or control), either because one has the desire for or is put into the position of.

Self-mastery is a life-long endeavor.  Just when we get a handle on one aspect, some other aspect demands our attention.  Surprisingly, some mastery comes simply by surrendering to the natural flow and unfolding of our lives.  Allowing life to happen to us, accepting those unexpected elements that pop up from time to time and must be dealt with, coped with or mitigated in some way.

This does not mean that we can't navigate.  One of my favorite recreational activities is canoeing down a river.  Even when one has familiarity with a river, it is never the same twice.  There are water level fluctuations that mean the best channel changes, rocks submerge or become prominent (or worst, just below the surface).  There are fast sections where we must do a combination of going with flow, while paddling as hard and fast as we can, to keep from being shoved in an undesirable direction and being dashed against a stream bank, rock or other obstruction, like a downed tree.

Downed trees sometimes seem to totally block the path forward.  Sometimes, one can get out of the canoe and guide it beneath a tree that has some clearance above the water.  At the worst, a canoe can be unloaded and the gear and canoe carried around the obstacle. 

What I have learned from traveling down rivers in a canoe is that there is always some way out of every situation.  Once we had to leave the next morning with most of our gear, including our paddles downstream, having wrapped our canoe around a rock, swamping it with water and everything floating away.  We used limbs to guide the canoe and stayed close to the bank.  Soon we found all but a plastic, netted bag of garbage.  That loss bothered us greatly.  As happy as we were to recover all the important things, we hated the thought that our accident had potentially contributed pollution to the beautiful stream.

So, what is self-mastery?  I hope some of you will chime in.  I'll begin by trying to define for myself how I might know I've achieved some measure of it or why I might consider myself to have self-mastery.

[1]  Even tempered emotional response to most events
[2]  Quick recovery when emotions overwhelm me (some events just blindside us)
[3]  Experiencing life as being, overall, “joyful” 
[4]  Setting intentions and seeing them manifest
[5]  Recognizing aspects of personality which prevent harmony
                and making appropriate changes within myself that yield greater harmony
[6]  Accepting myself and others exactly as we are at any given moment
[7]  Recognizing perfection in every circumstance (even, if in hindsight)

I think I could continue on but I am hoping some of you will chime n and help me expand upon my list.

Deb

Re: Verse 33 - Living Self-Mastery

Debyemm,

Re: Verse 33 ~ Living Self- Mastery.
You know all kinds of things popped when I saw this link off one of the main boards
I thought to my self  ~ hmmm.
then I just googled > tao self-mastery
guess who popped up?

http://www.thinkarete.com/quotes/by_category/action/self-mastery/

24 potent quotes

maybe there should be sub on the Tao of the Intenet

bingo> http://www.cem.itesm.mx/dacs/publicaciones/logos/mcluhan/tao.htm

This self- mastery is a snap.

girns and ohms your way,

Lars

Re: Verse 33 - Living Self-Mastery

Thanks FastDart Larry,

Nice links.  From Think Arete -

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania. Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.   ~ Lao-tzu Quotes

It doesn't matter how one was brought up. What determines the way one does anything is personal power.   ~ Carlos Castaneda Quotes from Journey to Ixtlan

I think the ones below hits upon some of the thoughts in my list -

Reshape yourself through the power of your will…   Those who have conquered themselves…live in peace, alike in cold and heat, pleasure and pain, praise and blame…To such people a clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same   …Because they are impartial, they rise to great heights.    ~ Krishna Quotes from The Bhagavad Gita

A consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step to salvation…you have to catch yourself doing it before you can correct it.   ~ Seneca Quotes from Letters from a Stoic

Regarding the essay - Tao of the Internet, I've discovered in reading it that my “style” has a name ;-p - GONZO - if it is my style.  Hard to say really but I have resonance with the concepts.

”Developed primarily by the American writer Hunter S. Thompson, this style consists of the author initially submersing themselves into the subject matter, absorbing the topic to be examined, and adopting the related world view as if it were their own. The writing itself is then a spontaneous and creative process in which the subjectivity is not only maintained, but is a source of unique and invaluable insight. The literary product of the 'Gonzo' style is a non-linear dynamic play of language and culture. Thompson derived the 'Gonzo' style from the synthesis of beatnik and emerging psychedelic cultures active in early 1960s western civilization.”

”Gonzo presumes the need to immerse in the subject matter, whereas the Tao assumes that immersion is inherent, and the sage an articulator of this subjective unity.”  I would agree that immersion is inherent.  We can not - not be - immersed in the Tao, however, if one is ignorant of the subject, the immersion in the subject matter may be necessary for a time in order to achieve understanding from the uniquely, individual point of view.  Subjectivity rules.

Thanks, Lars, the essay (the second link) itself was interesting reading.  If I've peaked anyone's interest with these little snippets, feel free to pursue it.  The article is mostly concerned with the global economy and the Internet's relationship to it and uses verses from the Tao to find common threads.