Is it healthy to be Selfish?

From Abraham-Hicks well being cards:

If the way you feel depends on anything outside of you, you're in trouble - but if you depend only upon your connection with your own Inner Being, then everything in your experience falls into alignment.

Affirmation: Seeking approval of others hinders my joyousness.

My thoughts: Just for today, notice how many times you do, say or think something to make someone else feel good. I can't speak for the guys, but women tend to make others feel better and help others sometimes at their own expense. We help others sometimes to the point of making ourselves sick!

If you've ever been on a plane before, you know when the flight attendant starts to explain about when the oxygen masks come down. 'Put YOURS on FIRST and THEN help the person/child next to you' (Selfish?)

This is a great rule of thumb for everything we do! Take care of ourselves FIRST and THEN help our loved ones. We've gotten it backwards ladies! (Guys? thoughts?) Lets start to turn that around starting today. Put yourself at the top of the list of things to do today. The first thing I do for myself every morning is meditate. THEN I'm up to help my family and be ready for the rest of the day.

Be 'Selfish'. We have been taught that being selfish is bad. We need to put others first.

What did YOU do today to be 'Selfish'?

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

I agree with the basic idea behind this that one can't really help another if one can't help themselves. To keep giving to others to the point of neglecting ones own needs doesn't sound very healty, and yes women have a tendency to do that.
However like everything this needs to be seen in the right perspective too, all in balance. For some people this “spiritual kind of selfishness” serves as a great exuse to neglect ones responsibilities. As a mother, when my child was very young, I didn't always think in terms of me and her,  I thought in terms of us, while her father was being ”spiritual” selfish” and neglected his responsibilities because he thought of himself first all the time exactly using these kind of exuses.
I also think it's not all that bad sometimes to think of others first, there are times when it makes me feel wonderful,  it's only bad as there is an off balance.  I think the compassionate acts of women througout history is what kept this world sane to some degree. And I think it is worth praise as well.
So who is the “other” anyway?  Hé we're in this all together.
So to me it's all about BALANCE.

On a lighter note:
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
goo goo goo g'joob. LOL!
 
 

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

Niecy & Lucienne,

Nice links out there I'll post more when I find the time..
The mice will play today.

Priestess boy you've been a naughty girl you let your knickers down..
Balance is everything. almost
:-)

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

I found myself agreeing with both of you, Denise and Lucienne. I think that this is something to be accepted at “is this message for me” level. All through my childhood and youth, the message I got [from within] was : serve others. I took it too far, though; and many years of having become unhealthy later, finally realized that the message had changed before I realized it. NOW, it told me to look after myself first.

So I guess timing is important. And to know if that road marker is on your road or the one adjoining.
Img srce1
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Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

Lars, I'm copy and pasting the article here too! Great stuff! Thanks Egg Man!








The spiritual side of selfishness


Feb 19th, 2009
by Palma.




photo credit: beverlyislike
In our society, we usually see selfishness as a negative trait. A
selfish individual is judged as having no concerns for others, while
tending exclusively to his/her own well being. We are conditioned by
our parents and society as a whole, that being selfish, that means
egocentrically inclined, is bad and just plain wrong. Burdened by a
sense of guilt, we go about our day tending to everyone’s needs.
Family, friends, coworkers. Even when drained and tired, we can’t say
“no”.
Selfishness is a natural part of us, and has profound implications.
We are all born extremely selfish. As a newborn and toddler, it’s all
about us and our needs. As small children it’s all about “I want”, “me”
and “mine”. When things don’t go their way, children are masters at
throwing tantrums. Are you upset by all that fuss and screaming? Well,
too bad for you!
Up to teenage years, selfishness is the rule of thumb. Teenagers
couldn’t care less if you are worried sick. It’s all about their
freedom, expanding their view of the world, the thrill of adventure. If
you don’t like it, it’s your problem.
We only have one vantage point to experience the outer world, and
that is from the perspective of Self. We are selfish by definition.
Loving yourself the most, means tending to your energy level so that
you can offer the best of yourself to others, and ultimately are able
to truly help them. When you run around half drained, trying to help,
full of resentment for all these “needy” people wanting a piece of you,
you have very little value to offer.
On the contrary, when you take time for yourself, and make yourself
unavailable in order to pursue something that is of pleasure
exclusively to you, regardless of what other people want or expect from
you, you emerge as a whole being, full of charge and inner happiness.
From that stand point, now you can offer the most value to the external
world.
When you love yourself the most, you are able to love others. When
you love yourself the most, you pour love from every cell of your
being. You will be there for other beings, offering the treasure of
your example, teaching them silently to love themselves the most as
well. Because when you love yourself the most, you enjoy the company of
others, but you don’t need them. Neediness stems from a sense of lack
and powerlessness. Empowerment is self-sufficient.
Your needy, complaining friend, not only doesn’t love you, but
doesn’t love him/herself either. Saying “no” to them, is an act of love.
It is interesting to note that even in emergencies, selfishness is
what is asked of you. Think of the air attendants giving their
emergency demonstration before take-off, and telling you that if an
oxygen mask is needed, you are required to put it on yourself first,
and then help children and other passengers sitting next to
you. If you are half choked from the toxic fumes, you can’t help and
are of very little value in that situation. You must think of yourself
first, in order to save someone else. Helping others, is the exact
opposite of sacrificing yourself.
Take time for yourself, make space for the things you enjoy. Say no,
when you don’t. When you are happy, you share your positivity with the
world. When you are satisfied and enriched, you make this world a
better place. Make yourself your top priority above all else.
A spiritually selfish person is a self-respecting and
self-sufficient being, who will hold other people’s well being in the
highest regard, because he/she won’t need anyone to sacrifice their own
well being for them.
As a wonderful coincidence, I was pondering about this post last
night, and in the morning I found this quote in my inbox, from the Abraham-Hicks group I am following on Facebook…

Hypothetically, people worry about everyone being
selfishly oriented. “If everyone did exactly what they want to do, what
kind of world would this be?” And we say, a really, really good one.
Because if everyone did what they wanted to do, everyone would feel
free. And if you feel free, you feel empowered. And every negative
emotion that exists—hear this—every negative emotion that exists is
because there is some sense of loss of freedom somewhere in there.

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

I'm enjoying it too, very deep links :-)

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

This is a provocative discussion, but is it fair to summarize all this by saying that if you live, lead, and receive love at all times, then happiness will reign?  I have a difficult time dealing with “self” since I equate self with ego, which is filled with negativity.

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

its very simple. what do you need to do, in order to recharge your batteries, in order to deal with the world and others.

admiration of yourself must be based upon taking inventory of yourself, how you are progressing in your quest for self-improvement, not an unreasonable fetish
of yourself, vanity, inflated ego based upon a fantasy of yourself.

you are the most important person to you, since you only have a life and control over that life thru yourself, your body, your mind, and emotions. taking good care of that system is important, before any other activities can be accomplished effectively.

yet the world is not about you, mostly about others. to live successfully, you must be able to work with that, to influence others to help you in your life,
by showing that you are willing to work with them.

those who are assertive about themselves without being aggressive, who have the ability to be compassionate and responding, who have no problem avoiding those who try to selfishly use them, are the happiest people on this earth.

these are the people who are admired in this world, and that is my model.

those who are unhappy are unbalanced, either to taking care of others before they take care of themselves, or those who take care of themselves always, and
resist interaction with others.

there is a reason we have two legs. balance, balance balance.

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

I agree Torchholder, but there's a twist to all this: without you there are no other people in the world. Perception all begins and ends with self.

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

Reflection Ken..It's like the rabbit hole…it has no bottom.
Excellent observation Torchholder.

We live in a house of mirrors and think we are looking out the windows ~ Fritz Perls
*Image Source

Re: Is it healthy to be Selfish?

Yes FastDart, but the twist takes the 'other people' concept and makes it all a reflection of self. It changes things.