Remembering Andrew

Every once in a while, someone comes along who is so unique, who then flames and burns out so quickly at a rather young age, that one can not let the moment pass, without mentioning them one last time.  

I believe the individuation of God, known as Andrew Wilcox, mattered.  I would not be surprised though, if more than a few people - who got to know Andrew - would disagree with that.  Everyone matters.  Everyone contributes to what we know of as reality.  So, Andrew mattered and he made an imprint with his brief life. 

There are more than a few members in this group who came from the old Improving.Us aka Enlightened Baztards group, when we were still Zaadz.  Andrew even joined THIS group and posted once in The Divine Matrix thread on The 3 Experiments.  When Andrew posted this one time in our pod, it gave me momentary anxiety; and I had to do a spiritual mind treatment and talk to his Higher Self about it.  Later, he assured me privately that he had no intention of causing trouble for me.  In the end, we respected each other, for who each of us is/was, without needing to understand why, we were the way we were.  
When I got together with Denise / flowerchild for lunch the first day of the Celebrate Your Life conference in Chicago, she dropped the bombshell on me that Andrew Wilcox had committed suicide.  She told me she could feel my heartbeat speed up at the shock.  Tom, one of our new members, was having lunch with me and Denise at the time.

Here's a thread in the Abraham HIcks forum about it.

Here's a post in this group by Terry, who took over as a moderator at the EB pod when they were forced “private” by Gaian management to protect the innocent. 

Andrew was a formative experience in my early days at Zaadz.  Andrew was the cultivator of the only pod, Improving.us aka Enlightened Baztards, I've ever know to be totally starved and shut down by Gaian management.   (The last blog dated Dec 14, 2007 at Andrew's profile has his perspective of the Gaian management action against his group).

I got on the wrong side of Andrew early in our acquaintance, when I noted in a private email to him, that he had stalked Esther and Jerry Hicks  at a conference in San Antonio, a feat he was quite proud of and bragged about in the A-H forum (causing them to shut it down) and here in his group at Zaadz.  Andrew did not see it the same way I did.  I was then berated by name, directly on one of their early radio shows at TalkShoe, for taking him on privately, and he then made it publically in his group.


Andrew's blog with link to the Enlightened Bastards Radio Show.

Denise and I grew quite close as we did “battle” with Andrew and Jack (along with 2 young men in that group that disagreed with the group perspective of that moment) at the end of our experience in that rough and tumble, hard school for the wild and crazy of the LOA persuassion.  This pod began when we left that group.

Originally, to me Andrew seemed to have an unusually clear understanding of the Law of Attraction, he eventually became shadow dark, calling himself Pure Evil Incarnate and dismissed LOA teachings.  Or it was it just a joke with him?, mocking others by defining himself that way?, a badge of honor to him?, or did he just utilize it for effect?  All of that was a possibility with Andrew. 

Alot of people did not like Andrew, including Jerry & Esther Hicks.  I didn't like Andrew alot of the time.  Yet, there was something about him, and that group here at Zaadz, that pushed my uncertainties so hard, that something clearer and more authentic was forced to emerge and that strengthened me.  I would not be honest, if I didn't admit that I am a more confident practitioner of my own art, thanks to running up against Andrew Wilcox, early on at The_Secrets of “The Secret” group and being enticed into his sphere of influence at Improving.us to learn more.

Interestingly, Abraham-Hicks, the existence of those teachings had come to me about a year before coming to Zaadz, was something I originally rejected because I wasn't interested in “channeling”.  Then, I found myself in Improving.us, a group of dedicated channelers - yes, Andrew and his merry gang of men and women were very into all things related to channeling and much more.  I believe God has an amazing sense of humor to do that to me.  To sneak me, into the midst of it, without my knowing that was what I was getting into.

On of my favorite people from that Improving.Us (Enlightend Baztards) group was Cynthia / Lightenup.  There was a post, A Party Invitation, I asked and received her permission to reprint here in our LM.

Andrew and Jack came to Zaadz after they were kicked out of the Powerful Intentions community.  Out-laws from the start.  My first on-line spiritual community was Powerful Intentions, after The Secret movie came out and my daughter told me about it (after seeing the Oprah segment).  My daughter said - it's all the stuff you've always talked about and lived.  I never did quite resonate with the PI community, like I have here.

Well, as many know, it isn't summed up so simply as The Secret would explain it.  I'm not surprised Andrew made a decision to leave the Earthly life.  Our paths traveled parallel for a little while.  He will always be some part of who I am.

Enlightend Bastards continues to exist, headed by Jack, Andrew's long time friend and original side kick.  A few other names familiar to me join him there but interestingly, they do not even mention Andrew.

In Memory of Andrew -
Deb

Re: Remembering Andrew

Oh my God. Andrew!?! Jesus Christ, no!!

First Michael/Maxie, now Andrew gone. I have to find a way to absorb all this.

Love to you, Deb. I trust you can tune into what Andrew meant to me.

God dammit, NO! Now I have to cycle through the 5 stages of coping with loss at a rapid pace - AGAIN - before I can get to the grief.

I have benefited greatly from Andrew's presence on Gaia and I think he knew intuitively how much his boldness encouraged me to be… more of what I naturally am.

Re: Remembering Andrew

Oh thank you, Mascha, for joining to share with us your feelings.

You say it perfectly -

“I have benefited greatly from Andrew's presence on Gaia and I think he knew intuitively how much his boldness encouraged me to be… more of what I naturally am.”


BTW, I posted my unusual reaction to Michael / Maxie's passing in Hummingbird's Passing group here - Dedication to Maxi


Something extraordinary is happening on the planet.  An incredible number are leaving, making room for what is to come next.

Hugs -
Deb

Re: Remembering Andrew

Debbie, I'm freaking out right now. I want to be among those who get to leave. My will to stay in the body has never been very strong. But there are promises to keep….

Can't go before my mother dies, for one.

Hugs back to you. Powerful currents of embracing energies in the midst of tears.

Re: Remembering Andrew

I went out on my hike to Native American Flute without vocals and walked with my umbrella in cool weather through a constant but not hard rain.  I was connecting with Andrew in my mind and I began to cry.  It was different than usual, a very aware kind of profuse sadness; and I noticed my chest was constricted and I consciously openned my heart and allowed myself to feel that sadness deeply and go into it.  

As I hiked upon a particular dirt track along a ridge top, I said this is where I was when I talked to you that time.  Something was nagging at me, I didn't feel like Andrew had committed suicide and in fact, the note a friend seems to have put on his Facebook page says -

Re: Remembering Andrew

Deb, thank you for the soulful communication. It means a lot to me. I remember lightenup from the EB pod and quickly came to think of her as a genius - a uniquely astute and sparkling spirit - that came through even online.

Now I wish I hadn't left the EB pod. Does it still exist even? If so, do you know a moderator who would let me back in to access those fun threads we created together with Andrew et al? Tom comes to mind as a possible contact person.

Anyway… as for the suicide, I'll take that info under advisement. Andrew was - is - such an out-of-the-box adventurer that I wouldn't be too amazed to hear him say something like, “Every death is a suicide, you just have to look deeply enough to see that it's a choice.” Birth and death are choices from a certain standpoint as a disembodied spirit, are they not?

Not having known Andrew very well or for very long, I'm going out on a limb saying it seems to me he was grappling with the theme of abuse and respect in interpersonal communication, big time. And he went overboard, going to extremes. On the one hand, being the freest of free spirits and proclaiming his boundless unattachment - on the other hand being an authoritarian intimidator caught up in his home-spun self-contradictions.

What inspired me most was his choice to sacrifice being liked by others in exchange for authentic self-exploration on the extreme outer edges of social acceptability. He modeled being faithful to one's own source in a spectacular way, and a chunk of the self-sufficiency I've acquired in this lifetime was a gift from Andrew. He transmitted audacious self-sufficiency with every other word he spoke.

Re: Remembering Andrew

Deb and Mascha, love to you both as you grieve hard for Andrew. I guess I arrived on Gaia too late to connect with that group (Sept 2006), so I didn't know them personally. But he sounds such a vivid person.

Warm hugs,

Nicole

Re: Remembering Andrew

Dear Nicole, it's lovely to have your warm, empathizing presence in so many venues on Gaia. Thank you for that.

Here's a writ by Andrew from a few years back before he actively fought the hype and the many manipulators involved in selling the Law of Attraction.

From Zorro (on the Enlightened Baadztards pod)
      
Appreciating Andrew's Thoughts

Zorro said Jun 11, (2008?) 1:14 PM:

I was led to a post from Andrew that I had saved quite awhile ago. Not sure where I got this from but for those who haven't read it I offer it in appreciation for some remarkable thoughts.

Enjoy!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes. I AM saying that if you love yourself, and do anything and everything that feels good to you, everything else will fall
into place, even if you never did another LOA process or specifically focused upon what you wanted. At core the only
reason any of us is asking for any of this physical stuff is so that we get the feeling associated with having the stuff or the
experience.

If we really analyze why people want a certain partner, or wealth level, or appearance, or whatever it's usually stemming
from wanting to feel good about self. Someone who fundamentally already feels good about themselves is playing a
completely different ball game. They already have the one thing they were really wanting, themselves, and now when
they are asking for people, places, experiences it's stemming from a, “Hmmm, that would be interesting” mindset, rather
than a, “I must have X to be complete” mindset. Erg. Long sentence. Anyway. A person that is already happy in and of
themselves doesn't really need anything else. They have All That Is already. Now it's just an infinite buffet with wonderful
dishes to try and talk about. There's no rush or hurry for anything to show up, and thus there's is no attachment to hows
or whens. What's fascinating is that from this state of mind things show up super fast because there are no contradictory
vibrations present. It is literally getting to the point where I can pause for about 30 seconds, get something I'm wanting
clearly envisioned in my mind, and the Universe walks me straight to it not 5 minutes later. Why? Because I AM clear, I
AM unattached to how or when, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Universe will deliver, and that I AM
infinitely worthy. It's pure attractive vibration at its very best.

The biggest most powerful part of the whole equation is continually stroking my inner sense of self worth. My game is all
about me. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Therefore I will Love me as big as I can, simply because it feels good to
me, and when I feel good, when I feel great, I get everything else that I AM wanting besides the one thing I already have,
Me.

I personally try to keep the processes to a minimum, because people get too wrapped up in the hows of processes. (i.e. If
I focus for X hours a day, the Universe has to comply.) This doesn't work, because the focus is coming from a place of
not having. Appreciating what is comes from a place of having. Appreciating self, as-is, is the best of the best. It brings
us more of Who We Are, and Who We Are is all that we've become through our asking. Appreciating self is the process
of line up with what is already held for us in vibrational escrow.
Understand?
Andrew Wilcox - Yes. Yes… Yes.


I really don't endorse acting, because acting doesn't really feel real. The way I started was I got to a point where I knew
beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could have ANYTHING I wanted, but it still wasn't enough because I couldn't Love me.
It was like infinite freedom with empty meaningless joy. It was terrible. It took me a lot of thought and soul searching to
realize I needed a foundation for my creation, and that foundation was me. So I looked at me and decided to find
something about me to appreciate. The first thing I found was that it is a privilege, and an honor, and a pleasure, and a
delight to speak with me, and it is in everyone's best interest to get to know me whether they do or not. With what I know
anyone could have anything they desired.

Every time I say it I feel a rush of passion for me, and this is the foundation of my good feeling place that gives power and
inspiration to my actions, words, and moment by moment appreciation of life. You may perceive what I say and do as an
act, but I assure you it's not. Now, much of what I say I intend as humor, because I love to laugh, but I AM operating from
my deepest intention, my deepest thought about Who I AM, my deepest core vibration, which is utter Well-Being. From
this place I can do no wrong and no wrong can be done unto me. So when I say something like, “Bow down and worship
at my feet.” I mean it, because I AM that important. I AM not attached to anyone doing this however, because I don't
need that to be happy. It would just be a fun experience that demonstrated yet again how wonderful I AM and how Loved
I AM by the Universe. Just it saying it and thinking about it and laughing about it, I have already received the benefit of it.
It's not the physical illusion that gives me the good feeling, it's always only the thought of it.

If you avoid what's making you feel bad, you are pushing back against something. Pushing back is the fastest way to get
more of what you don't want. It's best to get still and really ask, “Why is this making me feel bad? Why is this making me
feel bad?” By asking that question you get to the root cause, which eventually will be a lack of faith in the Universe or a
lack of self worth. These are ultimately the only reasons. But, it's good to get clear on why specifically the particular
external circumstances are causing you to doubt yourself or fear the Universe.

The second part of the equation though is to rewrite the fundamental thought that is causing the pain. This does take
some work and some practice, and this is what I AM very good at assisting with. This is similar to the thought stream I
gave you the other night. See what most here don't realize is that I AM mostly responding to the vibration of the posts, not the words of the posts. When you are tuned into Who You Are it's very easy to feel the vibration offered by others, and
from a state of allowing the perfect action naturally arrises within from a joyous knowing place. For example. I didn't take
the image of me as Saint Valentine down because I fear some fate he created for himself. In fact, I chose not to focus
upon this aspect, and fundamentally do not fear this aspect from a infinitely Well Universe. I took it down because it didn't feel needed anymore.


So. The best place to start is to say, “F*ck 'em all. I AM going to focus upon me and me alone for awhile, and I AM going
to figure out how to have the best day I can have, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I AM going to find the great
parts about me and I AM going to focus upon them and appreciate them. I AM going to laugh at or ignore anyone that
comes into my perfect day and doesn't realize Who I AM. If they treat me less than I AM, I'll realize they're just there to
help me get stronger at focusing upon how great I AM. If they attack or try to pull me down, I'll just know that I must be on the right track, because those lacking in self worth can hardly stand when someone else has theirs. It's all good though, and I'll let them all off the hook, because all that matters is that I feel good, and I don't have time to keep a record of who said what, or did what, or thought what. All that matters is right here right now, and all I know is that I AM amazing, and the Universe loves me to no end, and I AM going to respect the Universe's knowingness of me enough to try and at least love me a fraction of how Source Loves me. I've decided today that breathing is enough. If I AM alive and breathing and doing my best to feel good then I have contributed all that I need to contribute. My just being here is enough.

Source never said, “I need you to go into the world an contribute.” No, Source said to me, “Go into the world and do whatever makes you feel good. Breathing is enough.” So by god, I AM going to be the best breather I can be. I AM going to just breathe and appreciate and enjoy. Just my appreciation of a simple flower is loving All That Is, and it's enough.

 Anyone that doesn't realize how wonderful I AM just appreciating this flower and breathing and doing my best to feel good, can go to hell and cry about their feeble little mind, because I can say and think and do anything I need to do to feel better, including judge, or curse, or swear, or blaspheme, or poke, or prod, or shout, or scream. Source told me it's all ok, so long as I feel better. And anyone else that tells me I need to be different so they can feel better, can just suffer all they want, because I ain't changing for nobody or no one.
I AM the center of the Universe, and all that matters is that I FEEL GOOD. If you can't take it, take a hike.”

See how easy it is?


Andrew Wilcox -

I Got My Morning Started Right

I would also add that any of us can get it as fast as we can accept the inevitable truth that all that matters is that we as
individuals feel good. Once you accept that thought and run with it, you have it. So anyone from any current set of beliefs
could become the next yoda if they fully allowed that one thought into their reality.
That's a GREAT question about martial arts. I had my own martial arts school and read Ask and it is Given while I owned
it. Within several months I closed the school and haven't studied martial arts since. I originally got into martial arts for the meditation and body/energy focus. Once I realize all I had to do was Ask and then Allow, I had more energy development, way more, from just asking, than in 10 years of studying martial arts. What I experience now is continual physical guidance from non-physical. Meaning, I can feel non-physical guiding my body, hands, feet, head, eyes, everything, toward what I want. It feels good to follow the guidance, and when I do follow it I always end up getting something I wanted. I also know that anything and everything that happens to me is Source, therefore there is nothing to defend against. Therefore learning to fight is pointless. What's also cool is that “the flow” is teaching me to dance, balance, all sorts of other cool physical activities. I don't need physical teachers, cause I have access to all the best nonphysical ones.

Abraham has a certain clear method to them that makes them super teachers and trainers. I would agree however, and I
believe Abraham is always hinting at this very thing, that ultimately it is up to each of us to follow our own guidance and listen to our own Source. So yes, going straight to the Source is what it's all about. I get the weekly Abe CDs, and I
haven't listened to any of them in months. I still get them so I can give them to people, but if I have a question I can just ask
my Source. Sometimes, “the flow” will guide me to start a particular Abe track on my i-pod, and it's always talking about
exactly something I was thinking about.

The easiest way to stay in bliss, is to rework the self chatter. This is why I always build myself up. If there's going to be
chatter, well it's going to be uplifting to me. Pay attention to the chatter. Pay attention to how each thought form feels.
Don't fight the chatter use is as a contrasting opportunity to strengthen your thought stream. For example, if I am hearing, “You shouldn't leave that there, someone might take it.” I'll stop and think, “Hmmm, it's all Source, and ultimately it's all me. Anything that disappears is only Source bringing me more of what I want. Plus, “the flow” will guide me as to what to do, so that thought doesn't serve me anymore. I'm not attached to this physical thing anyway, and I can always get more. Does it feel good to leave it here, yeah ok. It's alright.”
That was an example I was working through recently. I'm good now.

Let me give you an example of “the flow”. I've been looking for a 5 rowed rubics cube for years, long before I knew Law of
Attraction. I haven't found one anywhere. Last night as I was driving home from my meeting with Scorpio, my head
turned (signal from the flow to turn), and I ended up being led into a local book store. The flow led me around the store.
Non-physical will spell out messages using book titles and covers. It's a fun conversation. Anyway, finally, I'm taken to
another part of the store, one I didn't know existed. It had games and puzzles, and guess what. There was a single 5
rowed Rubics cube just sitting there on the shelf, just for me. It was the only one. The delight I felt at not only getting
something I wanted, but having yet another confirmation (out of thousands at this point) that “the flow” is always taking me to what I want was priceless. It wasn't like I happened to walk by and there was one. I was walked straight to it. This all
after stopping at a book store for no reason other than I could feel “the flow” leading me there. Life is easy when I'm not in control.

What I would add for you Ben is start asking for things other than physical objects. Ask that your understanding of Law of
Attraction increase exponentially. Ask that your focus upon what you want becomes solid. Ask that your ability to receive
is enhanced. Ask that you have access to infinite intelligence. You can ask for ANYTHING. Why not ask for the stuff that
helps you get more stuff?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bless you, dear Andrew.

Love, M

Re: Remembering Andrew

Nicole,

When I was searching with Google for links to Andrew's old group, I found one Gaia post - the thread Spirituality and/or Religion I started in your The God Pod, where I mentioned them in passing.  I seem to be the one to always be bringing them up and so, I am the logical one chosen to write a last memorial to a vivid person or was also a member of this group.  Yes, Andrew was vividly spiritual, physically so, not simply intellectually.

Mascha, all links and indications that the pod ever existed have been severed now by the Gaiam management (after an appropriate period of “silencing” them).  It probably still exists in some archive somewhere; that no one will ever see again.  I had some priceless bits squirreled away there too.  Including my original “introduction” in that group.  So, it is in internet heaven, a non-physical inaccessible realm.

When I was in James Van Praagh's presentation (a video related to his book - Ghosts Among Us is attached below) to the whole group of participants in Chicago at Celebrate Your Life on that Saturday night, he described communications from those on the non-physical side, which interestingly he describes as occupying the same “space” as the physical but hard to put in to words, “not in time or space”.  So someone in spirit, could be in more than one place at one time, or in more than one time at one time, but those definitions are meaningless here, which is why it can be that way but is so hard to understand from our perspective.  Gosh, I've probably lost everyone including myself already but on some level that has stuck with me and makes perfect sense … LOL

I mention this because I was awakened last night at 2am by that rapid string of words that Van Praagh describes.  So fast, it is difficult for the brain to translate.  It was noticeably “fast” but understandable at the moment I woke up yet I can't quote it now.  However, I had laid down around midnight, only to get my youngest to sleep, and had intended to get back up and finish bedtime chores for myself but had fallen asleep.  I had a distinct impression that Andrew had spoken to me as I woke.  I got up and went to the computer and ended up spending about an hour reading in two different internet sites related to Andrew.

One was the Meaningful Dialog forum he started a few weeks before his death, a link to which Cynthia had given me.  It was Andrew at his best really, that side of him that is attractive to any serious and sincere seeker of spiritual truth and knowledge.  There was an easy clarity but a refreshing acceptance and respect for other people, inherent in the work there.  Respect is not a word all people associate with their experience of Andrew, yet to me, it was like Andrew coming back to his strength and core essence.

That was contrasted for me by the thread at the Abetalk forum, entitled with Abraham's well known humor about dying, the ”Andrew Wilcox - Croaking thread”.  This thread started within a week of Andrew dying and these are people who knew Andrew for a very long time through various expressions.  Their ambivalence and conflicted feelings are easily felt from what is written there.

It caught my attention that suicide had definitely come up regarding Andrew within their forums or in individuals there communication's with Andrew, wherever they occured.  I share a few snippets from there, as informative of why I say that Andrew's life mattered -

Cigi, who described Andrew as the Anti-Hicks and admits her relationship with Andrew was tumultuous, which is how I would describe my own relationship to him when he was living, shares one of the nicer online communications she had with him -
“Actually, this is all of creation, really.
You find the vibrational essence of the thing.
And own it, feel know it now… without the physical form.
Then it is yours completely, and will come and go as needed, but will always be there, so there can be no loss and no manifestation because it already is.
However there can be formation and deformation.
So when I say I have the essence of you, I understand the underlying vibration you are reflecting and thus “you” will always be there, even if cigi might not be.
It sounds impersonal but it's not really - quite the opposite.
–Andrew Wilcox”

From Shannon - “I have this image in my mind from something Estheronce said. It is a metaphor - life as a movie. If you came into a movie and hated it, would you stay to see the end, just because you paid your money and intended to see the movie? Maybe, maybe not.  If you don't like the movie, walk out. So Andrew didn't like the movie here and he walked out of the theater. Somehow that makes me feel better, like it is all his choice and freedom to do so, and he did. No big deal.”  

DD seems to have had a strong opinion about Andrew, not entirely positive; as was the case for alot of people at Gaia and in the Abraham-Hicks community.  She shared something Andrew wrote that referred to his perception and thoughts regarding suicide - 
“Everything is perfect, always has been, always will be, and the unfolding experience that happened as a result of my aligned choice was EXACTLY what I needed to embrace even more of my delicious self. My inner being was with me during the attempt. In that moment, it was my highest joy, it was my greatest excitement, it was the strongest feeling of freedom I have ever found.

There is not a single physically focused being that did not ask… “What happens if I can't align?” To which broader aspect said… “You can kill yourself.” To which we said… “Excellent!” Suicide is one of our most precious freedoms as physically focused beings. None of us, and I mean none of us, would ever agree to come here unless that was part of the deal.

See, I'm aware of my original intentions for coming into this life. I'm aware of many of my pre-life agreements with others, including Jerry & Esther. My strongest intention coming into this life was to be free from all the physical distractions of self, and most importantly from the fear of death. Which I AM on all levels and in all ways. I'm so free from illusion that there's even an actual distinction between “life” and “death” that I am in many ways living as a non-physical entity does, while still maintaining a physical awareness.

I now have the freedom to run across a highway without hesitation, if that's my highest joy in that moment, and not from a place of wanting to die, but simply not caring either way. It's not my responsibility to keep my self physically focused or alive anyway. That's the old inner beings job.

Bashar said this about suicide. “Suicide is meditation judged.” That's totally it. I needed some quality me time taking absolutely EVERYONE else out of the equation. And it was totally worth it.

Abe says this about suicide… “All death is suicide.” Absolutely true. At least I'm honest about mine. At least I'm honest about where my desires really are. At least I'm honest with Who I AM. At least I'm not afraid to Be Me in the light of the irrelevant and worthless judgment of narrow-minded self-lacking individuals that need to pull others down in order to feel good about self.

You should try killing yourself, you'll feel better.

Andrew Wilcox - In the I of the Vortex”

From DD - ”The last time he tried to commit suicide, he sat in a closed garage in the car (with his girlfriend) and something happened, and it didn't work. She did succeed a short time afterwards.

So, this time he either did it that way to prove that he could get it right this time, or we're thinking he took pills and just drifted off to Pure Positive Energy. Adal is right, Andrew would do it deliberately. No accidents. His parents were very religious so for them, suicide means you are going to hell, so that would explain why there is no obituary or service. Just sayin'”

Later DD says something I had to chuckle at the thought of -
”Wouldn't it be just like Andrew to become part of the Abe Collective? I mean, he spent his last years obssed with Jerry and Esther and Abe. 
Don't be surprised if Abraham starts signing off their workshops with “Abraham - Freer, Wealthier, More Joyful than the former Andrew Wilcox”

I've had a concern about a Gaian - Q - I Seriously Rock.  She was a very interesting young lady, quite into astral travel and comfortable in non-physical space.  She was sexually attracted to Andrew and it was a mutual attraction and it wasn't long until they were sharing life.  That was about the end of any involvement I had with the group, she was one of the primary reasons I would go there and I did communicate privately with her as well.  She hasn't been on Gaia for almost 600 days, though like Andrew's, her icon remains active.  I have some concern about whether she is still physical.  Whether this post refers to her.  She had a link to “The Hidden Pod” but it is not active any more; if it ever was, once it went private.


Dave who annouced Andrew's death there on the Abetalk forum says - “Andrew Wilcox took his own life ( I didn't get the details of how ).”


Muse says - “Maybe not leaving a note was Andrew's personal “eff you” to everyone. Then again… Andrew was quite the prima donna. He seemed to thrive on attention. It's difficult to imagine him mapping out an exit sans announcement and big production number. If in fact it was suicide, I'm surprised he didn't leave behind a 'manifesto' for the world to see.
Was it suicide or accidental? Enquiring minds want to know! Maybe Andrew did all he wanted to do in this life and passed away quietly in his sleep unplanned.” 

About a week after Andrew's death, Tracy says ”Ummmm, maybe it's just odd from my perspective, but is there a reason why Andrew is online right now? Maybe he'd like to comment on his own thread from the beyond? This is the second time today…”  Andrew's mystique was such, one could only wonder; though more rational minds suspected it was his family trying to make sense of his death or the police doing likewise.  More likely to my mind as well.


Leah then says ”He probably never logged out, Adal.  Any second now he's going to blast the shit out of everyone who said nice things about him when they thought he'd logged out in the big way.”  The anxiety that Andrew's attention upon someone could cause was like that.


Paula shares some quotes from Lao-Tzu in that thread -
“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.” -Lao Tzu

“The best [man] is like water. Water is good; it benefits all things and does not compete with them. It dwells in [lowly] places that all disdain. This is why it is so near to Tao.” -Lao Tzu 
Both are appropriate of the Andrew I was aware of and resonate with my own love of the Tao.


NP expresses the best of what interacting with Andrew brought some people - “I'll just say this… which is what I wrote on his FB wall:
“Countless times you inspired me to seek answers and live my truth.
You may not be physical anymore, but you still live among us 
and even more so now! I love you Andrew Wilcox! ♥”

I do appreciate the fact that Andrew existed (and still exists) in my reality. Always being himself he enriched my life by making it more interesting, and it in turn helped me expand even more!

In true Abraham-Hicks style, DoJ says ”I love that he has reemerged into the fullness of him. I love that in one fell swoop, he became all that he had created. I love that he is in pure joy and bliss.”

That is a sentiment I can agree to and with that sign off on my remembering of Andrew's life, nnow feeling closure regarding it.  

Thank you, members of this group, I realize this may not have been really meaningful to most of you.  It was something I needed to work through and process, and like many things of spiritual importance to my life, and in recognition of the role it played indirectly in my starting this group and so, it is an inportant aspect of my history in the Zaadz/Gaia community and is recorded here now.

I recently posted this line quoted from Joseph Campbell in Elizabeth Lesser's The Seeker's Guide (at the beginning of the Heartfulnesssection) in Cheyenne's deep and excellent blog -


“People say that what we're seeking is a meaning for life.  I don't think that's what we're really seeking.  I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”


Andrew lived like that.

Deb

Re: Remembering Andrew

What an amazing post, Deb. It must have taken a lot of time to collect all these snippets. Thank you for that and always for being who you are.

Love,

M

Re: Remembering Andrew

Deb and Mascha, this is a lovely tribute to a complex and unique person.  I didn't really know him, but now I feel his loss on this plane of existence…thank you for painting such an honest picture.