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I have started to write the book, Cloudy with a Chance of Thunderstorms, which it did come to me that I should write, after attending the Chicago - Celebrate Your Life conference.
I am allowing the NaNoWriMo event (National Novel Writing Month) which Centria (a member of this group) made me aware of, and am experiencing it almost solely through the Diving Deeper group (here at Gaia) to push content through me (50,000 words, by the end of the month, is the goal). So, far I am on track with my daily goals, at almost 13,500 words.
Most of it has been dredging up bits and pieces of my real life. However, yesterday, I allowed myself the luxury of letting some spiritual content channel through, from my Higher Self (certainly, that was how it “felt” anyway). Of course, any book I would write would have a spiritual tone and aspect to it.
So, rough as it is, and probably not in the structure it may ultimately take upon itself, I share it with you here as being uniquely and genuinely “of my own self”. I hope you enjoy.
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Anger
Anger is resistance to what is, to reality. Anger is the frustrated child in me that wants something and feels it is being withheld from them. By growing “up”, I can integrate to an intentional and conscious surrender to life. The anger will subside because I’m not fighting with what my life is anymore. One can see that something is not as beneficial as it could be and take steps to change that situation, to shift that situation, so that it can more closely resembles what the ideal vision is, without being angry about it. Anger is victimhood. It is saying I am not in control, either of myself or of what is happening around me. Of course, I’m not in “control” of what is happening around me. It is ridiculous to believe that I could be. It is a big world, I am a tiny bit of individualization in that world. The world has so many other individualizations, waves and currents and winds blowing through it, on the macro scale; that I am neither meant to control it nor do I initiate any of that aspect of my experience at being “alive”. My only role in that macro aspect is my response to it and I am always free to respond to it in a way of my choosing. I “should” be in control of myself. The reality is, sometimes I am not.
The Witness
If I do not feel that I am “choosing” the way in which I am responding to the situation, then I truly am out of control. I am out of control regarding my responses, the only aspect of my being that I can control. When this awareness first begins to come through, to emerge within my conscious thought, it may be that all I am really skilled enough to do, is to observe what is happening. For we are all skilled at that, it is how we go from infancy, to childhood to maturity. At this stage of awareness, it is possible to become aware that there is a witness or observer within each of us that is not our physical body, is not our judging mind, is not our experiences of living a life. It is capable of simply looking around, watching life unfold in the moment, being in the NOW, moving through the time / space of this Earthly life that we each are allotted, without doing anything more about it, than to see it happen, to feel the sun and wind and notice the colors and the emotional outbursts of others around us, even to notice how our own individual self behaves in the heat of an emotion.
This is not a skilled activity, though it is useful as an activity. One can notice, is the mind playing the same old song over and over again ? – either literally or figuratively. One can notice fixations. One can be in appreciation or awe. One can be aware of the emotional body as separate from the mental reasoning. The mind is the thinking aspect. Some of this is trained and programmed and hardly “thinking” at all. It is societal and cultural and of its “time” period. Religion goes into this definition of mind as well.
The Intuitive Mind
There is a deeper mind. It is intuitive, it is where insight and inspiration emerge from. It is not trained but it has access to all of the knowledge of any human that has ever lived. Any event that has ever occurred, any “higher” learning or education that has been developed within a human consciousness, is stored in this accessible “place” for all time and always. Some, when they connect to this faculty, believe they have found God or some Ascended Master or evolved Being but no, this is still an aspect of the functioning of the mind, in the individualized self. Yet, it is very, very helpful in the productive and fruitful living of any individual life.
What is it that observes? What is it that watches without judgment? What is it that knows where the trajectory we are on now is headed? Is there only one trajectory? Are we in one world or many? Can we shift from one layer to another without the outer aspects of our life appearing to change?, without our own self appearing to change?, except perhaps in temperament. These are the kinds of questions that one who is on the spiritual path begins to ask of their own inner self. In a sense, it is a “why am I here?” question. But “why am I here?” almost connotes that we should not be, or that we would be happier elsewhere, and that would be to miss the whole point of reality.
Warning
So, once again, I attempt turn back to “the story” and allow it to come forth. There will be time enough for the analyzing. Actually, I think that was where I was attempting to go, as I was describing the functions of the mind. Intuition can be a tricky aspect. If one is wanting to “make it happen”, is trying to force it or push it through, one could find themselves in deep do-do. I have been, and others who I have been witness to in their own struggles with such, have found that in trying to “arrive” by force, we misinterpret much. There is no hurry. In fact, hurry can make one “accept” the craziest notions and act upon them.
So, if your intuition is telling you – I must do this NOW – take a deep breath and resist. No, the world is not going to end, you are not going to fail to advert some disaster, no one is going to be harmed or killed if you don’t act. You are quite simply not THAT important. Don’t be dejected. You are important. You are important to existence but your “actions” in this life should be light and easy. They should be as non-threatening and non-serious as though you had been chosen to play a role. Sometimes your conscious mind will not feel in tune with the role that is being asked of you to play. Perhaps, you don’t really feel you will do a good job of playing that role but that you are the one chosen to do so, and you must play the part. How will you know if that is so? It will be obviously, the next logical step available to you to take.
So, you play it with all the best you have to give. It is THAT important. It is important that you show up fully, heart-fully even (if you can), and reluctantly, if you must. Reluctantly, is perfectly okay. You can play the role of a reluctant participant, a victim whose hand is forced in a direction not of their choosing, and be fully aware of that aspect. And here I am circling around the subject again. Well, some things are hard to put into conscious, thinking mind, terms.
Protection
Here is an important protection, if you desire to allow intuition to take a greater role in your life, from the bible - Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Source - New International Version c 1984) This applies. My granny repeated that verse to me verbally, when I was trying so hard to follow my intuitive guide and having huge difficulty in interpreting the messages that come through.
There can be signs and messages in every item and word and aspect of your life. THESE ARE MEANT FOR YOU ALONE. That is why another person will think you are crazy; if you tell him a bird just gave you a personal message. And there are so many more “messages”, that we can pick up a signal from, in modern times, than were available to the more simple humans living in our ancestor's period. The very air is filled with all manner of “content”, from all manner of sources – radio, tv, satellite, etc as well as from all the electrical impulses of thought that pass through any human brain which is physically active.
By taking the advice of Philippians, you can save yourself much trouble and grief. If your “messages”, from wherever you believe they are coming, tell you to kill someone or do some obviously crazy action, because something terrible will happen that only you can prevent, therefore you MUST do this – then, be highly suspicious and do not act upon it immediately. The truth IS, that if the Divine really NEEDS you to do anything and at this point in my own life, I’ve come to doubt that kind of urgency – always; but if the Divine really needs you to do something, you will not be able to prevent it from happening. So, you have the luxury of taking your time about getting a round to - It.
The importance of this advice is that the human mind, being poorly programmed as it is by violence and other human risks and vulnerabilities – by our stories (real or imagined), by our media (real life or fiction) and by our actions and the interpretations of those actions – is in a period of great danger. Yet, by the simple conscious insistence, that these qualities – truth (which can be subjective “x is mad at me” or objective “the sun came up this morning”), nobility (morals, ethics, courage, generosity, dignified), right action (instinctively “right” as in not hurting another person unless in self-defense), purity (absence of inappropriate qualities, being of the core essence, not diluted or mixed with eternal influences), lovely (eliciting a feeling of love or inspiration upon the beholding of) or admirable (worthy of general approval by others) are represented in the thought or action contemplated; is a very good guideline to judge - whether the “insight” is worth paying attention to or the “request” to take a particular action is worth considering.
If you feel you should or must do something, and it violates such ideals and concepts, better to let it go and ripen. If it is important, it will return modified. It is always possible also to negotiate such. Consider what it is that is bothering you about it and “negotiate” that aspect out of consideration. Free choice is REAL. You are not coerced by anyone to do anything. You ALWAYS have a choice. If your life is in jeopardy, you have the choice to submit or fight, whatever your instincts guide you is the best path for survival, if you wish to continue living. One can also forfeit their life for a “larger” cause. Such is also a choice. One can be tired of living and decide it is of no use to continue on. That is another choice. There are only choices, and the paths those choices take us upon, the outcomes of which are the trajectory of that choice.
Trust
The still small voice, once you are able to be aware that it is there, with such love of you that “It” would never ask anything harmful or awful of you, will give you much confidence and a genuine sense of security in living out the journey that your life is taking you upon. We each have many such journeys but the nature of our physical lives is such; that we can only be certain of this one in which our awareness is currently focused. We can have “experiences”, “dreams” and “intuitions” about other such journeys, which are remembered within our core essence, that the complete Self of our soul has taken. But they are in theory only, to the conscious mind which lives this life. They are also inconsequential except, that the lessons, we may have possibly gained in such experiences, when they can be recalled; may speed up or ease the learning curves we encounter, in the life of which we are conscious now, in the physicality of that.
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