The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

FastDart / Lars reminded of this book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, which is one of my all time favorites, and yet I've never commented on it in this pod (though I did in Jill's Sacred Walk pod).  Anyway, I told Lars I was going to write about this and then, discovered that I had only the audio book version.  So, I ordered the hard cover book and was lucky enough to get a “double” edition that includes the “Companion Book”.  So, we should have a bit of material to explore for a long time here.  Today, I just make a placeholder to get started.

Don Miguel Ruiz has been featured in the Science of Mind, the Oct 2004 issue of the magazine.  Here is a nice link to an interview with him - http://www.dawnofanewday.com/healthy-mind/don-miguel-ruiz-interview/.

Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers and raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and a nagual (shaman) grandfather.  The family anticipated that Miguel would embrace their centuries-old legacy of healing and teaching, and carry forward the esoteric Toltec knowledge.  Instead, distracted by modern life, Miguel chose to attend medical school and become a surgeon.

A near-death experience changed his life.  Late one night in the early 1970s, he awoke suddenly, having fallen asleep at the wheel of his car.  At that instant the car careened into a wall of concrete.  Don Miguel remembers that he was not in his physical body as he watched himself pull his two friends to safety.

Stunned by the experience, he began an intensive practice of self-inquiry.  He devoted himself to the mastery of the ancient ancestral wisdom, studying earnestly with his mother, and completing an apprenticeship with a powerful shaman in the Mexican desert.  His grandfather who had since passed on, continued to teach him in his dreams.

Don Miguel Ruiz, a nagual from the Eagle Knight lineage, is dedicated to sharing his knowledge of the teachings of the ancient Toltec.  He lives in San Diego, California.

(Biographical information from the back cover of his book The Mastery of Love, which I hope to study at a later time.)

Deb 

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

We will go into studying these one by one, but here they are, in brief.

[1]  BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

[2]  DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

[3]  DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

[4]  ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Ahhhh yes, a clasic indeed. Some things so simple yet so very powerful! Thanks for the reminder! I loaned this book out to someone and never got it back! LOL I look forward to reading up on the reminders! Thanks!

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Worth remembering again and again! And specially bringing to mind when we are about to put pen to paper, word out of mouth or finger on Send Post.

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I LOVE this book– I have given it to everyone in my life at one time or another.  Funny that I'm just reading this thread now–group consciousness in action once more–I used the first agreement–Be Impeccable With Your Word– in my newsletter (and blog) yesterday.

These agreements align with something new Deepak Chopra is creating–has anyone heard of the Alliance for a New Humanity?  You can go to:  www.itakethevow.com and take a vow of ahimsa, or non-violence–in thoughts, words and deeds.  Dr. Chopra's intending to get 1 million people to take this vow, I'd like to encourage the Gaia community to join if you feel called.

Love to all, Johanna

The First Agreement of the 4 Agreements

Re: The First Agreement of the 4 Agreements

Comments from the Companion Book

Let's consider what it means to have faith.  Whoever masters faith, masters the dream.  Why?  To have faith is the impeccability of the word.  To have faith is to believe 100 percent without a doubt.  Faith is how the word is manifested; it is how we guide our intent.  To have great faith is to have great power because our intent, our will, is undivided.  When our word isn't dissipated by doubt, the power of our word is even stronger.

The great leaders of humanity have a lot of personal power because they have great faith.  But their faith comes from the heart, not the head.  Their faith comes from love instead of fear, and from wisdom instead of knowledge.  The kind of faith that comes from the head is blind faith because it comes from knowledge, from false beliefs, from fear.  Blind faith is a faith aht leads to fanaticism and dogmatism, which explains all the religious wars, all the fear that other people don't believe what we believe.  Blind faith is a faith that we have to defend and impose on other people in order to feel validated and safe.

Humans are powerful creators.  We are born with all the faith of the universe, and everything we create is based on faith.  That faith is really our personal power, but what has happened with our faith?  We invest all our faith in our beliefs and agreements, and we are left with little power to change our lives.

Imagine that every agreement is just like a brick.  Humans create an entire structure out of bricks, and we glue it together with our faith.  We believe without a doubt in all the knowledge inside that structure.  Our faith gets trapped inside that structure because we put our faith in each agreement.  It's not important if it is or isn't true; we believe it, and for us it is true.

All of our power of creation is invested in our belief, and because we believe it, that's the way it is.  If we believe our knowledge, whatever we perceive will be filtered to make it fit into that knowledge.  We create a personal dream that justifies the knowledge, and the outside dream proves to us that what we believe is true.  The outside dream reflects our personal dream; it will justify every belief.

During all education we receive, which means all the knowledge that is programmed into our mind, we create the concept of the I am.  Everything we believe we are, everything we know about how to be a human is the I am.  The Toltec call this the human form.  We are not talking about the physical body, but about our own dream.  When we say, “I am a man; I am a woman; I am a human, and this is my whole reality”, everything is judged by that knowledge, and of course, the dream becomes hell.  That is the drama of humanity.

The dream of our life is so limited because we take all the power of our creation and put it in a little box, and with all our power we seal the box.  And we live inside the box, trapped inside that little box.  Well, that little box is the human form.  It is our creation, and all our will is invested in that I am.

Your faith is so strong that when you believe “I am never going to be this”, thy will be done, you are never going to be that.  If you believe “I cannot do it”, thy will be done, you cannot do it.  Whatever you believe, you put your faith in that belief, and your faith will make it ture.

The power of our word is behind every agreement we make.  To break an agreement, we need to have at least the same amount of power we used to make the agreement, but we find that we no longer have enough power to break an agreeement just because we decide to.  The classic example of this is the agreement to smoke.  Our reasoning mind can understand that it's not good for us to smoke, and we decide not to smoke anymore.  Our mind says, “I will not smoke anymore because it's not good for me”.  Then we open the package, light a cigarette, and keep smoking.  We don't want to smoke and we try not to smoke, but we still smoke !  The temptation to smoke is stronger than our will; or we can say our will and our faith are not yet strong enough to keep our word.

Why don't we have enough power to break our agreements?  Imagine that we had one hundred units of power, and we put four units of power to break this agreement.  But the problem is that the other ninety-six units of power are already being used to keep all the agreements of our whole reality alive.  Then the day we decide not to smoke anymore, we don't have enough power to change the agreement.  All of our power has been taken.

What happened to the other ninety-six units of power?  Let's look at the way we spend energy (when next we comment from this Companion Book). 

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

My biggest obstacle is people not saying what they mean and not meaning what they say.  People are afraid – to be laughed at, judged, banished, whatever.

You'd be surprised how few of us truly state from the heart what we feel, what we want, and mean it.   We've learned to put our true selves away for the sake of socialization, acceptance, civility.

Those who follow their true heart and operate from it tend to stand out like 'sore thumbs' here in American society.  We pride ourselves on being truthful and demanding the truth and nothing but from others, but, as I've stated on zaadz before, most of us can't handle the unadorned truth.  We prefer to be lied to.

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

Perhaps this might help, perspephonehalliwell:

There are two parts to everything that is spoken: the speaker and the listener.

As a listener: when we know that the other cannot speak clearly out of fear; we can fill in the gap by listening with our own inner ear. Not just to the words, but to what is actually being conveyed by the other person.

As a speaker: we can work at overcoming fear by bringing to mind that inner light within us. This brings clarity to our speech and our communication.

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

Most excellent Meenakshi,

The Yin and Yang of Communication.

Something mysteriously formed,
Born before heaven and earth.
In the silence and the void,
Standing alone and unchanging,
Ever present and in motion.
Perhaps it is the mother of ten
thousand things.
I do not know its name.

Call it Tao.

Tao Te Ching

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

As a listener, isn't there a danger in “assuming” what is being said and not being said?  Yes, I can 'sense' when a friend doesn't want to talk about something or stays silent and doesn't answer a direct question I pose.  Assuming the silence is an answer doesn't work all the time.  I truly want to know and try to pull more from that friend, which can lead to them getting frustrated or clarifying their position more.  I can only fill in so many blanks before it starts feeling like a one-sided conversation because I'm filling it all in for them and could be painting a completely different picture from what they really think or believe.  how is that helpful to a relationship?

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

“As a listener, isn't there a danger in “assuming” what is being said and not being said? ”

I've found that even when we think we're just listening to what's being said; we're actually listening to what we've heard, and perceived and understood. Everyone has different styles for talking and expressing. Someone may be saying something ironically or self-deprecatingly or funnily or sadly or carelessly : we have to start with knowing that we may not always really be listening.

So - yes, as you say, we should not assume what's being said; but by the same token, we should also not assume that the other person is trying to hide their true feelings. Maybe we're just not understanding or accepting what they are trying to tell us.

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

Today, I'm pondering the clarity of written communication. Even if I think I'm being clear, if someone is not following what I'm saying, to that person, I am not clear and my word can baffle or hurt instead of heal. Written communication has all kinds of pitfalls that spoken words don't have (like no body language cues etc) with the mixed blessing of a greater permanence. 

Thanks for this dialogue. This is very important.

Peace,

Nicole

Re: The First Agreement - Impeccability

Meenakshi,

I think the point you make is good, and it is how I live now, most of the time.  Yes, I care about what the person speaking was trying to say, or meant to say, or is not saying to me but thinking.  I try to listen authentically, deep listening, I believe it is called.

However, there is another layer equally valid.  “What” each of us is “meant” to hear, understand, discern, grow or learn from, interpret - for reasons our soul only knows, but we can be willing to harmonize with.

Deb

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

You've quoted my favorite verse of Tao, Lars. AND given a great link. Though it's meant to be for therapists; I wonder if we can each adopt a therapists' ear for listening and tongue for speaking?

Is that what is required for good communication?

”Listen carefully, ask questions to show that you are genuinely interested and you'll be amazed at the spin-offs from becoming a good question asker and a good listener. People appreciate, respect and value others who are great listeners.”

From the Tao of communication

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Meenakshi and Lars, excellent conversation on conversations and great points, concepts, etc.  All of it.

Persephonehalliwell, yes, it is sad and true what you say.  Part of unfolding and blooming spiritually is to gain the confidence to be authentic.  When one is authentic, they can speak truth but do not harm.  Sometimes, the other or oneself feels ” hurt ” by the truth.  If it is the truth, it buries deep within and is contemplated over time, taking root, affecting comprehension and perspective, until it begins to express in the visible world of the person, bearing a beautiful fruit.

We owe our life our truth.  That is what we came here for.  When we all realize that, the Earth will be a paradise and humanity peace and love.  Each should be their individual authentic self - truthfully. 

Thank you, Persephonehalliwell, Meenakshi and Lars, for making this a point of notice.

Deb

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

From the newsletter of Don Miguel Ruiz for anyone interested and living in the vicinity:

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I really want to get back into this thread.  Lots of conversations going on within me, and with others, about Unconditional Love.  There are multiple threads winding around and through me at this time, blending the Rev Michael Bernard Beckwith with Don Miguel Ruiz.  It is like New Year's for me and I am doing the work of visioning what my life is to be like going forward.
 
This concept that has been occupying my thoughts regarding Unconditional Love, is a concept which I read some discussion about, in another book by Ruiz “The Mastery of Love”.  It also came up in a Life Visioning Meditation I did for myself with Beckwith's audio CD during my daily hike last Sunday.  It can be sad to contemplate, for unconditional love can be hard to identify the existence of, if looking to external persons for proof, but something came out of a discussion of such with Lars/Fast Dart and a video he posted over at FB, which actually he had sent me before here at Gaia, knowing how much I appreciate Don Miguel Ruiz's works.
 

Deb

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Interesting how this keeps rising to the surface. Something tells me to post it here. Perhaps It should go someplace else but I'll go with my institution anyway. It's a long interview with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

The Toltec Teachings

Running with my eyes closed towards unconditional love.

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I too enjoyed this book…thnx for posting this thread Deb, and Lars for the link to TT…always, star…

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Continuing comments from the Companion Book from where we left off here -

”What happened to the other ninety-six units of power?  Let's look at the way we spend energy” 


In The Four Agreements, we talked about this example: Imagine you awake one morning with a lot of energy.  You can hardly wait to do a lot of things.  You go to eat your breakfast, and for whatever reason, you have a big fight with your spouse.  All these angry words are said, all these painful emotions come out, and after the fight, all you want to do is go to bed and sleep.  The fight drains all your energy. 


To save energy you need to change your routines, change those agreements, and no longer react with those emotions.  If your spouse wants to fight, and you don't fight, then you still have that energy.  You just eat your breakfast quickly, and leave the room.  It's up to you whether you will allow yourself to spend all your energy on your emotions.  You don't have to be the victim of your emotions.


The emotions that drain you are the emotions that come from fear; the emotions that give you more energy are those that come from love.


Most people spend all their energy on personal importance, on defending their image, on defending their opinions and what they believe.  They spend a lot of energy trying to be right and making everybody else wrong.  This nonsense behavior is funny when you see it from the outside, but it becomes a big drama when you are in the middle of it.  That drama drains our energy.  To believe what we believe, to keep all these agreements alive, we have no energy left.  Our power of creation, the word, is dissipated by the big mitote in our mind, by all those conflicting agreements we create.  The result is that we feel powerless.


As we have said, the Book of Law, even though it isn't physical, creates a strong and rigid structure made by agreements, and we call it a belief system.  (We will look at that structure, when next we comment from this Companion Book).


(From the Abbreviated Glossary - 
Mitote
The Toltec use this term to refer to the condition of the human mind.  The mitote can be compared to a huge marketplace where thousands of people are talking at the same time, and nobody understands each other.  The mitote is also like a fog that blinds us from seeing the truth.)

Re: The 4 Agreements - The Mitote Ceremony

I found this on-line by searching on the word ”mitote”.  The site is Toltec Spirit: Wisdom of the Four Agreements.

The Mitote Ceremony

The Mitote Ceremony is a Way to challenge Limiting Beliefs of Possibility
The mitote ceremony is a sacred ritual in dreaming performed through the night. It has been passed down through the various Toltec lineages as a means to transform ones personal dream. It impacts the participant on multiple dimensions.

The Intent of the Mitote

The first intent of the mitote ceremony is to become lucid in the dream state.

During the mitote, there are multiple opportunities to take advantage of this window as we wake periodically during the night and then lay down to sleep again. The mastery of this requires a high degree of awareness.

The second intent is the breaking of patterns and routines.

We are a multidimensional being. We perceive on many dimensions. However, from the time we were very young the world trained our attention to focus on a limited number of these dimensions. In the dream state our awareness is still working to evolve whether we are conscious of our dreams or not. During a mitote an experienced guide can work with individuals in the dream state towards this transformation. This evolution happens in realms that we are often not consciously aware of.

The general format of the mitote ceremony:

There are not guaranteed results from a mitote ceremony. Each persons experience will be different according to his or her point of view. Some people have had extraordinary mitote experiences and remember many dreams, only to remember nothing in their next mitote. One of the lessons I have learned in the mitote ritual is to not have expectations. We set our intent, but don’t expect that things will turn out as we have intended. We must leave room for Spirit to intervene and co-create with us in Its divine way.

Re: The 4 Agreements - What Was That Dark Shape ?

OK, allowing myself not to believe or disbelieve, after posting these additions to the thread - this happened (it just so happens, I had seen the word “apparition” this morning in the Science of Mind Text glossary).  I am going to say this only, I don't know what I saw -

I was returning from an errand to my MILs log cabin next door.  My 8 yr old son was playing in the yard, when I pulled into the driveway (it is 5 mins by car, longer if walking to the cabin).  Down our dirt drive, in the direction of our future home, this side of the creek crossing, I saw the dark shape, of what I took to be a Turkey Hen, cross the dirt road towards the creek.

I told my son and he immediately jumped on his bike to go and see if he could catch sight of it.  When I got out of the car, I saw a dark shape of indistinguishable color, between him and me, crossing back across the road, towards the field.  I jumped on my bike to go and tell him that he had passed it and it was now in the field.  Only, I couldn't be sure by that point, if what I saw was a Turkey Hen, a slinking domestic Cat or a Fox.  Ok … 

My son never saw anything and, we also could not spot anything moving in the tall grass, of the young tree (planted to protect the riparian buffer 6 yrs ago) scattered field.  Ok … so, let's just say it was a Turkey, a cat or fox would not criss cross back and forth but a Turkey would.  Yeah, it must have been a Turkey Hen.  Still, we don't normally see them that close to the house … LOL

No message in all this just-for-fun gibberish (well, my vision isn't perfect but a dark shape crossing the road is not beyond my ability to see).  Well, perhaps there is more, to living on this Earth, than our eyes or minds can comprehend fully.

Re: The 4 Agreements - What Was That Dark Shape ?

There is the power of suggestion, which makes sense that you heard or read something earlier in the day regarding 'apparition' so it was already in your mind and you were ready to see what you saw.  The mind is a powerful thing that scientists have yet to truly understand.  We only use ten percent of it.  Imagine that! 

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I also believe that the more we allow and open our minds, the more our minds eye become unclouded and can see clearer. 

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Denise,

Yes, keeping an open mind.  I don't rule out a shape shifter … it was as it crossed back, I thought Turkey Hen and then, realized it was no longer upright on 2 legs but suddenly long and low and seemed more a 4 legged creature to my eye/mind.  Fun to have such an experience on an ordinary, boring day.

Just open minded and allowing that - I don't know what happened.  I love the uncertainty of it.  Did something happen?  Did it not happen?  Does it matter whether it did or not, does it matter what it was or wasn't?  I saw something - mind, eye, ? and then, could not physically “see” it close enough to confirm what it was.

Not judging the experience as being such - a shape shifter - but it did pop into my mind, as my son and I went back in that direction later to pick Oak Galls.

Ah, when I heard Beckwith met a Tree Shapeshifter in the jungle, I was longing to meet one someday in my forest.

Deb

Re: The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Living with “don't know,” allowing the possibility of the unexplained without attaching to it…I love how you handled this Deb.  I enjoy the possilbilites with you.

“OK, allowing myself not to believe or disbelieve,”