deconstructing depression

I have for awhile been doing research into depressive disorders  (and, no, this research was not for altruistic or scientifically objective purposes).   Here, for your edification and enjoyment, a more Jungian approach involving mythological archetypes, and the cathartic poem I wrote out of this approach:  

Andromeda, as I understand the myth, was a victim of her parents'
sins (most particularly hubris), and was chained to a rock –
helpless, without any power over her fate – to be devoured by a sea
monster (the sea represents the unconscious, the monster our
repressed anger and fear).  Fortune smiles and the brave hero
arrives to save her, defeating the monster with his mojo (or the mojo of the
dead Medusa's head) and marrying her.  Marriage here, I assume,
meaning an integration of the masculine and feminine, anima and
animus.  All ends well, as the parents' kingdom is saved from the
wrath of the goddess, and Andromeda goes off with her hero husband.
 
I have been experiencing an understanding that the depression and
mania of the bipolar syndrome are both reactions to unprocessed,
suppressed anger – helpless bound anger perceived as Saturnian
chains from traditions of proper socialization and punishment for
the parents' sins of dishonor to their role as sacred stewards.  The
anger is primal – the monster of the deep and the damsel in
distress different faces of the same dilemma.
 
Where is the hero, and how might the monster be slain and personal
integration accomplished?
 
Ok, I know I'm totally projecting, so feel free to debate or
contradict.  I am coming to a new understanding of this story.  It
is a Goddess myth.  The men are basically ineffectual.  The king is
unable to protect his kingdom or his daughter from the Goddess's
wrath.  The hero is a pawn of the Fates and a conveyor of the true
power of the gorgon, still fully powerful even in death.

As in dreams all of the characters are parts of the dreamer. The
female archetypes play out a psychic drama.  Hera, the angry
Goddess; Cassiopeia (sp?), the evil Mother; Andromeda, the dutiful sacrifice;
the monster, seething anger, revenge; Medusa's head, pure power,
able to turn the monster into stone. Again, Saturnian images – the
monster (Neptunian emotion) turned to stone, unprocessed anger
metamorphosized into a pillar of experience built from the trials of
the past. 

Hera, the wise Goddess wants to sever Cassiopeia, the vain Queen,
from her dutiful daughter.  But Andromeda is dutiful; she will not
willingly leave her role as servant to Mom's needs.  She must
suffer, pushed to the brink, her life in forfeit, to develop her own self. 
Cassiopeia willingly gives her daughter in sacrifice to save her own
skin.

Andromeda has repressed her anger.  She is chained to the rock of
her own felt duty to her mother's responsibilities. The repressed
emotion, sent unprocessed into the nether regions of the
subconscious, rage and arise from the water against the rock.  There
is a fierce storm that can ebb and flow for quite some time.  There
is the repressed anger as defeated depression, resigned to, even
eager for the restfulness of death.  There is the unprocessed rage,
rising up revelrous, hungry for elation, for expression in any
excessive display available.
 
It's not just anger.  It's feeling powerless in the face of the
situation causing the anger.  The depression is the anger turned
inward, with no outward outlet it feeds on and mutilates the
subject.  The mania is defiance.  It is the whipped child lashing
out against the much too powerful adult by saying:  I can do anything I
want, I am omnipotent!  It has to do with obstacles perceived as
overwhelming and an indomitable, yet sorely confused injured spirit.
 
If the anger, the emotion, could be contained and safely examined,
so that the subject could work with it instead of bleeding life force
in despair and defiance, it could become a useful fuel.

Perhaps Andromeda in her extremis, or perhaps a compassionate Fate,
calls forth her hero, her inner strength, her self-respect, that
piece of her Self that knows it has reason to survive.  The hero
carries the gorgon's head, a pure and unambiguous power beyond the
judgment of good or evil; it is a power of pure lifeforce that can
turn the flailing rage into impotent stone.  Now, with such an ally,
the princess can be freed, integrate with her shadow which carries
the traits which will allow her to become a whole person in her own
right.  She is freed from her mother's curse to make her own way,
complete with the wisdom she has learned from her trials. Andromeda
becomes the star, indeed the constellation, of her own myth,
immortal in the heavens.


  Andromeda Unbound  

Primal emergent scene of fear/betrayal/rage
Against prosaic life tuned to a simpler age
A woman and a man and progeny of course
A life tailored to plan, no stranger to remorse
  
So early in the days of what might hence occur
The learning of the ways of how to be are stirred
So legends have been cast, so myths in mist abound
As some realities are buried underground.  

It was a cold and gilded house, camouflaged as home
It was a brutal game of chance camouflaged as life
Chain me to my jagged rock and let me bleed
Let the ravage start, I will not plead,
My tears will only flow when primed by raging seas  

They say that life's a school, we must learn or die
They knock into us what, where, when, forgetting why
Each put into our place and left to wait our turn
It's not about what we may be, but what we earn.  

Tree-lined sidewalks, car-lined streets, children at play
It seems so calm and peaceful, keeping fear at bay
Do the laundry, buy the groceries, pay the heating bills
Get it done, don't delay, no matter who it kills.  

It was a curse hurled from the gods, but it wasn't mine
Punishment for a crime of pride I did not commit
Clinging to my prison door, I hide my eyes
Expecting no pardon from the skies
No where left to go to hide from my mind's lies  

What can't be told infects a deep and deadly path
Buried wounds untended surface into storms of wrath
A beaten creature huddles beneath a snarling face
Dying for a welcome smile, the warmth of caring grace  

Some doors left open lead to mystic hidden rooms
Of purple velvet drapes, plush carpets and rare perfumes
The tapestry of life upon an ancient wall
Or was it down a rabbit-hole you meant to fall?  

I begged a chance to be saved, but it was not my time
The monster's howl a hungry hound denying rest
Lost in a tempest, finding none to care
Petrified by my own inward icy stare
Bound and cursed by the gods, of what use is prayer?  

Comes the time in spiraling life of do or die
Take the time to breathe the air, read visions from the sky
Willing change, allowing pain to tell its sorry tale
Rearrange the picture's frame, learn to adjust the scale  

The rules laid down to keep us bound were never friends
A hero's quest with divine intent can open stories' ends
Gods inspire nature's desire for beauty, healing, choice
Reclaiming heart, we do our part, obeying our true voice  

Opening my eyes, raising my voice, I claim my power
The gods respond not with violence but with joy
Claiming my life as my own, I turn my demons into stone
Free at last my spirit soars as I
dance by day through sweet Olympian fields – by night among the stars  

(c) Laurie Corzett - libramoon42@mindspring.com">libramoon42@mindspring.com http://www.geocities.com/libramoon.geo/

Re: deconstructing depression

You give an interesting interpretation of the Lovers Arcana in the Tarot.

The  archetypes arise amidst thedynamic flux between internal and external enviroments .I dont think you  accurately describe Depression however.

There are many reasons for depression located within and external to the individual.

Depression may be linked to a previous trauma…for example sexual abuse survivors characteristically experience depression. As do individuals who have experienced  or are experiencing adult stresses …money problems, unemployment, retirement..relationship difficulties…parenting ,even blocked creativity at work.

It is recognising the symptoms of the depression as we approach  it again or as it looms..depending where we are in our healing cycle.Yes it comes back!!!

Depression thankfully has a voluntary component and we can create an internal shift with effort and a committment from the self to fight..

It is enabling ones self to manage ones own response to life. Life on the highway hurls boulders at us…the wind blows us off course sometimes forces flat on our face or down into a bog or pit….we sink and we sink ….we stagnate or we climb back up.

We pick ourselves up dust our selves down and start all over again…why because this  is it.

the wall.

and two time passes and the suicide wakes and realizes s/he is still alive or not dead.

Public Choice Theory where do I go from here? 

A glimmer of Light..

hold on to it…chase it create it….it is Life …sacred precious and scary …………………………………………………………………………………………………………catemurray

Re: deconstructing depression

I read a news story recently about a guy in France, who was so depressed he decided to suicide, So he scored himself a bottle of whisky and a bottle of sleeping pills, and drove to an abandoned mine in the countryside. He went into the mine, and wandered about in the dark ,drinking the wine, and eating the pills, and after a while collapsed into unconciousness, some time later,he awoke. He had no idea of his whereabouts in the mine, no torch or light of any kind,It was very dark. He was cold. staggering around he found  a piece of plastic in which he was able to wrap himself. The only water he had was what was slowly oozing from the walls. He lost all sense of time, and sometimes was shaking with cold for hours before he was able to sleep. Some teenagers wandering outside found his car and alerted police who organized a search party, they found him. He'd been in there  for 4 weeks. After a brief stay in hospital, he was released. Very much alive. No more depression, no more suicidal tendencies. Seems to me he was given a good healing cleansing. A purging so to speak……… You don't always get what you want, but sometimes,… you get what you NEED. 

                                                                                                                           Huggzz to all,

                                                                                                                                             Will

Re: deconstructing depression

Yes :)

Purgings are very very good, but sometimes merciless. and surviving them most of the time doesn't depend on oneself. Luck, some might say, but i would disagree.

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Re: deconstructing depression

hi all, this is my first post here [and i haven't read all the thread] :)

I agree with cate, in a way. i think the story above is interesting and it “fits”, but bipolarity has a lot of factors, like cate said. And i don't agree with the concept “anger”, to me it is more like a “destructive energy”, in balance with the “creative energy”.

in my own personal experience, being bipolar for the last 15 years, i have learned this things:

- bipolarity (or My bipolarity, everyone is different) is 99% chemical (also the food you eat, drugs, etc.), and depends in a very big way on the environment as well as the people you interact with.

- when one identifies him/herself with it, one never has a clear picture of whats going on, because when in depression, although you “remember” what the mania or “normalness” is, you don't feel it or reason it, its like a fairy-tale you believe in. The same applies the other way around. Its like having 2 brains that are not connected to each other. In depression, you will remain that way forever and theres Nothing you or anybody can do. and in mania youre too busy being hyper-active to worry about anything.
But when you detach yourself from both, and don't think that “that is you”, then you just see it as something standing next to you, like an uninvited pesky remoraic guest. In depression all the symptoms are the same; suicide thoughts, complete lack of energy, complete lack of self-confidence, etc. But there you just have to be patient and eventually it leaves you alone (meds and other techniques are just in an experimental stage and they don't know if they really work for some people, you might take them or not and maybe it made no difference). and in a Mania you just have to be carefull of what you say to which people and not breaking too many “material” things or looking too scary or out of control :)

- what i understand by karma, and personal good and bad habits also have a big part in it.

- In a book by castaneda i read that Don Juan told him one of his problems was that he was in the middle of the road, out in the open, for anybody who passed by to throw a rock at him. I think this a very good recommendation for bipolars. In my case my friends and family by now understand that if i dissapear and don't want to see them for an indefinite period of time (maybe just say hi) there is no problem. One has to secure a place where one can retire into where nobody bothers him/her. On the other side of the coin, I try to watch myself who to trust with my feelings and ideas when im in a Mania, which by now is just to my close circle of friends and family. to everybody else i might just look like a madman, but becuase one is an artist, they are not scared easily :)

-Also, becoming interested in spirituality helped me a lot (and that came as a result of a shroom trip, go figure), things like suicide for example i was able to “reason” out, and develop my onw “rules”.

I think thats pretty much it for now, i will continue reading the thread.

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Re: deconstructing depression

Laurie,

I can personally validate your exploration of depression and madness as a manifestation of anger. An important aspect of my own mental illness was a deeply felt but unexpressed rage towards the people and circumstances over which I had no control that had deeply wounded my heart . The rage was so intense due a series of many traumas, it first manifested in panic attacks and then took the reins of my emotions and drove me to want to hurt the people around me for no apparent reason. I remember one day my sister was just sitting on my couch when I came into the room and had a sudden urge to punch her just because she was there, in my space (but I controlled the impulse and left the room till it subsided). I had in the past been only a deeply sad person, incapable of violence or intense anger. It took recognizing the sources of my rage, forgiving those who were involved, and claiming my ability to make choices in the present to eventually overcome my depression and madness.

I have to disagree with a previous reply that depression inevitably cycles back. I have been completely free of depression for several years, even during periods of extreme trauma and stress (including this very moment!).  I am confident there are others who were once “mentally ill” who are not any longer.

Blissings,
April
blessingconspiracy.blogspot.com

Re: deconstructing depression

Laurie …I am very pleased that you have been well for many years…the healing of depression does occur.

But for many people it is part of a healthy creative psyche to fall or sink. at times.

As an adult we are pushed stretched in situations and circumstances which   are beyond comprehension. An abuse survivor, the bereaved partner, the bankrupt, the housewife  is  not mentally ill…depression is linked to psychology not psychiatry..it is part of a larger cycle of emotional being for healthy normal adults and children.

When there is a reoccurrence of depression or anxiety there may or may not be an obvious external cause. A trigger or flashpoint can be anything…. some thing as abstract as  a bowl of plums in a fridge  can lock into a childhood event which resurfaces emotionally.

We may not recall the event clearly (hence the use of counselling psychotherapy to dig deeper) but we can re-experience the emotions or blockages linked to the pain..

….and we in turn become blocked. It is what I I have referred to as the Dynamic position of pain as experienced in the cycle of healing 

 Anger and Violence is part of that healing ….letting it out in a safe space is essential for some people. Sometimes it overspills onto people who we feel safe with at some level(thank you Leo )

the temper tantrum in the child..the angry  or  moody lover …the otherwise dead marriages are stilted because they are afraid to express these emotions.

These are normal psychological states which are linked to most people's everyday living………………………………………………………….LIFE

we all FALL

through healing we learn to get up again

with love and light

with experience

with insight

and thanks to my friend Leo

catemurray 

Re: deconstructing depression

Cate,

I think what we have here is two different perspectives of the word depression. When reading Laurie's post, I wasn't thinking about the normal depression that happens when we experience loss and frustration in our lives. Of course it is entirely normal to have cycles of joy and sorrow. I'm personally going through a difficult period right now where it is work to not sink into the mire of depressive tendencies and yet still allow myself to feel the sadness and grief that is a reasonable response to my situation.

I was thinking about clinical depression, which is a long-term mental illness for some people, like my mother, who has never been able to function normally without medication. From my personal experience, I can fully understand Laurie's assumption that unexpressed anger can be a source of severe or clinical depression. It was for mine, and I think it is for my mom, too.

Blissings,
April

Re: deconstructing depression

Hi Guys.  I fully understand both concepts and agree with them both in seperate frameworks.   I can only give my experiences and what I, personally, have taken from them.  I used to think that my life experiences were soul destroying. My first attempt at suicide was at the age of 8- ( I got the razor blade stuck in my thumb, after deceiding to put it away after an hour or so!.. Oh the humanity!)  Ive survived through the use of a strong sence of humour. My last would be attempt was some years ago- I put on a fav tape to chill the mood as I went out.  Some songs later I relised I was listening to “Knocking on Heavens Door”!  I had to laugh at my own self pity. Once I laugh, its broken. These things have shown me compassion, and provided me with strength.      Its only recently tho, thro some outside strength I feel, that I have come to relise (this is only me) that to “forgive” is an empty word. Ive worked, and meditated, to find “love” for the people who have hurt me.- I certainly would not want to be in their company!- but Ive thought what experiences, or the lack of them, have driven them to this behaviour…and have felt natural, not forced, compassion for the child with so much potential for giving and receiving love  that they once were,and for their present pain.- And have wished for their peace.  This has enabled me to let go of my black silent rage,  and has allowed a new light into my soul- and has eased my panic attacks no end. By asking for peace for my enemy, I have unwittingly been blessed with my own.   I dont know if this helps..?  Still discovering life for myself!    With love,   Susan.  x

Re: deconstructing depression

I think depression and clinical depression are probably on a continuum..the medication obviously ( sorry cant delete obviously)depends upon the  type on intervention.

I am sorry to hear about your mother… It is very hard for people like her and for family members like your self who have been through or survived the mental health system..

I have also been a patient.( for post traumatic stress)..though have resisted medication. I personally do not like medication as a remedy …although I repect an individuals right to choose. 

Depression and other states have patterns within them …and empowering and healing depends onthe  individual's abilty to connect with themselves,reflect and recognise periods

of wellness within .Connecting with the wellness and accentuating it is the core of the healing  process.It is difficult for people who only have  access conventional services

as “shifting ” requires direction from a skilled  other in the first instance

Counselling.psychotherapy or personal creatvity can help …as can good friends family….and other angels….and animalsx

with love and healing light

catemurray 

Re: deconstructing depression

I’ve deconstructed my own manic depression and host a little online forum for unmedicated mental health here: http://tonyakay.com/phpbb/index.php. Here’s a blurb from one of the posts:

“It’s not relapse. It’s withdrawal.

How many psychiatrists told me that “manic/depression is an incurable chemical imbalance” and without medications, I was doomed forever to repeat the exhausting emotional roller coaster that had threatened my life countless times in the past? That doesn’t sound like freedom to me.

When I did drop my medications, my current psychologist (I’ve seen over 8 for this shizzle) refused to see me. My beloved boyfriend threatened to break up with me. Obvously it was a scary time, going off medications - I was low, delusional, unreachable, gone. They were frightened for my life. I was, too, to tell you the truth. For all intensive purposes, it looked like I had relapsed, just like the psychiratrist said.

But that, too, wasn’t freedom.

So much of the journey to the mediation-free lifestyle has been mind games. Trying something out, keeping it if it works, discarding it quickly when it doesn’t and creating a new reality. The key for me was to remain ultimately flexible in my belief systems.

So where the doctor offered me a cage called relapse that would keep me running back to meds every time I fell down, I chose another reality and called it withdrawal. Heroine addicts, too, exhibit symptoms when going off their chemical, and those symptoms , too, can be easily prevented by taking more of the drug. But if you see it out, if you can make it through, if you can stay off the drug long enough for it to detox from your system, it is gone. And you never have to feel that way again.

That my friend, is freedom.

It was difficult for me, going off medications. It may not be for you (especially going raw before). We are all so very deeply unique. I literally had to do it alone, without support from the “professionals”, my boyfriend, even my family. And who would blame them, seeing me go through what I was going through, it would be difficult to believe I was doing myself any good.

So I joined a Biploar support group in San Francisco. Ironically, none of my fellow maniacs supported my departure from medication either, but that weekly meeting with the others who understood, who related, who existed, really helped me. In fact, it was another integral factor in my recovery to my natural healthy state.

Below is a link to help you find a support group in your area. Don’t expect anything from them. Just be with them. The lessons come from just being there. These lessons are pivotal whether you are going off meds, remaining on meds, never been mediated, et all. Search the DBSA website thoroughly, by the way. There is information and online support as well.

Julie, it sounds like YOU have decided to give it a try - to find out what freedom might taste like. You are coming at it from such a joyous, intentional and educated place, I see success and stability in your future. Because that is your belief. You are creating that reality.

Thank you for asking me about my journey. It really is a miracle and I do not use that word lightly. This week I have began counting how many times I actually experience exstacy - the feeling that whatever I am doing, feeling, experiencing in any given moment is absolutely perfect. Five (FIVE!) distinct moments this week where I wouldn’t ahve changed a thing. That is really different than some of the horror stories I could share, but won’t, from my past. I’m looking forward to my bliss states becoming even more frequent and lasting even longer, melding into one blissful life, full of gratitude and exstacy every day. I belive it is my natural state.

Feel free to ask me anything. But since this is such a huge topic and I want to badly to share whatever I can, please ask me specific questions, so I don’t get too verbose. Like this time:-)

In summary, the keys to my succesful transition from medicated Bipolar symptoms (a whole nother chapter could be devoted to maintaining that lifestyle) could be summed up like this:

1. going raw, hands down
2. It’s not relapse. It’s withdrawal.
3. joining a support group
4. making sure to take my omega oil supplements just in case
5. relentless acts of self intimacy and love
6. a belief that I am healthy at the core of it all
7. the flexibility to discard an entire belief system if it’s not working, which includes the entire medication-free experiment if the detox symptoms become life threatening - we have to first be alive, then we can discover bliss!

http://www.dbsalliance.org/Info/findsupport.html ”

Tonya Kay
http://tonyakay.com

Re: deconstructing depression

There are two root vibrations to everything, one is the contracting fear vibration and the other is the expanding love vibration.  We are either contracting or expanding. There is no in between. Since each one of us is inter-connected, the choice you make to expand or contract effects everything else including the planet and each other. You must consciously choose to be in the expansion of Love.

Negative feelings eventually turn into a state of war toward each other as well as within each other.  From here is a downward spiral into lower frequencies of energy.  This causes contraction in every cell of our physical body.  Contracting cells will eventually cause dis-ease, depression, pain and suffering. 

This energy wants to survive, and it does this through the ego. The ego will try to dissuade you from your journey to expansion because it does not want to starve. It will try to justify our actions of the lower frequency emotions.

You may be attached to your home; your family, your car but when you lose the body you have none of those things. Attachment traps you in lower emotions and creates false desires. It causes one to stimulate the local mind and ego directing us into lower frequencies of vibration. When one moves into lower frequencies, these actions and thoughts attract more dense energies that bind together to create an “entity”.  These entities continue to feed off of destructive energies and enter into one's thoughts, feelings and actions with progressive destructive effects. Instead of being this compassionate being of love, you think you are unworthy and then you hold on, you attach yourself to the outer world so you can feel more secure, to feel you exist, to feel a sensation in your life.  The result of this is evident in the imbalance of our selves, ecosystem, and our inability to curb the behaviors causing such devastation.

When in doubt, ask yourself if the root resonance is Love or fear. Then act accordingly. You, the conscious being can choose to expand or contract. Do not give this power to the ego anymore. It is a personal choice to make.  If you want to live in a peaceful, safe, abundant world but choose to live by the current of fear, who is to blame for the contracted state you find yourself in? Open your heart, choose to forgive and transformation will take place, in your inner and outer world. Then the joy of life can fill the space of resentment and fear.

Re: deconstructing depression

letting go of the past ….a conscious approach to forgiveness………moving on and moving through…..


Using directed thought,creative writing and directed energy connection through meditation..

Tools that worked for me…..I wrote down and focused on an incident which caused me extreme pain..

I created a mind map ..a diagram of the people involved…i made notes…then I looked at them and decided to let them ..I sent reiki or directed energy healing to each person..

energy and thought with a loving intention…

I repeated the process when things came up….and it stopped being an issue for me…..

the healing mindset of forgiveness works , lifts and empowers…….

with love and light and strength for you

cate

Re: deconstructing depression

April,

You have have a point. in an earlier post i substituted anger for doestructive enrgy, but coming to think about it, anger plays a role to.

In my personal experience, one of the biggest shocks ive had is when i realized that i was not the same person to different people. And while i was seen for example in college as a kind, funny and smart guy, at home i was percieved as always in a lousy mood, not caring about communication or interaction, etc.

That epoch was when i was really really angry, about the whole thing, but i always took it out on myself, trying to “protect” the others and trying not to let them know (backfired on the long run), but the depressions then were too heavy to handle, and i had nowhere else to go. And my therapist then was a young freudian surrealist full of himself that only fueled my sense of “thats the way of the artist / genius”, etc. On the other hand, the manias back then were limited to a feeling of elation, pouring of ideas and designs and chasing women around.

Now (the last couple of years), the depressions remained as deep as always, but the manias (fueled by drugs*), went completely out of control. I've ended up in hospital, jail and a couple of asylums (where iv'e met some of the most interesting, cool and sensible people, i might add) Everybody was scared s—less about what was going on, because from their standpoint they saw this incredible release of energy, and took it as builded-up-anger of course. But the funny thing is that by then i had already made peace with myself in a way, and i didn't feel angry at all. Even though i was destroying toilets with my knuckles, trying to jump police cars and getting in apparent fights with them, screaming at my parents for all they did and didnt do in the past (which i don't even remember i had no intention of ever doing) and remodeling our house in a more “cosmic” way (forget feng-shui), the carpets and couches in the garden, book-roads for the turtles and labyrinths made of furniture for the cats, pools in the kitchen and my headquartes in a room of the house i don't know the name for, where i have made some of the most amazing drawings. of course everybody got scared and pissed of at me for being so self-conceited (i had no idea what was going on) and disrespectfull, and thats the price i´m still paying now for the lesson. But i was never angry, during the whole time [of course if you hear your son screaming from the depths of his lungs, locked in the bathroom from which under the door rivers of water & blood are flowing, you might think he's angry at something :) ]

*going on a tangent, I tried my first real drug at age 28, and before that, i wasnt exposed to them in any way at all. When i did, as a responsible adult, i immediately reasoned that marijuana, to make an example, could become legalized (to take my side on that issue) with no problem at all, being it has no side effects, doesn't damage the body or cause addiction, it even has medicinal properties. Now i think differently, from my own experience, i have learned that it has different effects on different people, and catastrophic doesnt even begin to describe what might do to some. Now i think that if it would become more, how could you say, accepted, it would have to be in a way that adults should have complete responsability to walk the younger ones until at least they find out how their particular bodies react. Sounds like going back to sacred rituals, which sounds good to me :)

hope this was not too long

love

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