Group meditation or solo?

I have always sat alone, but I had always been curious about meditating with a group. Recently I found out about a Zen group that meets once a week nearby, so I went one night for zazen. It was really a great experience. The dedication of these people is truly  inspiring. We sat for 30 minutes, then did walking meditation, then sat for 30 more minutes. Afterwards there was a light dharma lesson and socializing. I felt very welcome and accepted by everyone, but I think I like sitting by myself better. I have developed my own style of practice over the years by trial and error, and have found what works for me, Many books and articles I've read cite the importance of joining a group. Although  they are wonderful people. I just realized I really prefer to sit alone. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Re: Group meditation or solo?

Hi Will,

I, too, have experimented with sitting alone and in a group. Like you, I prefer alone-sitting, and that's what I do most of the time. But I seek out opportunities to do it with a group as well, because it's just different, in ways that are valuable to me.
 
For several years, I frequented a local zen centre. What was most valuable for me, in meditating there, was the sharing of this special and intimate practice. We all brought our lives, silently, to that semi-circle of cushions and chairs. Around me were people experiencing disability, marriage, divorce, addiction, recovery, the joys of new parenthood and love, the grief of losing family or jobs, the pain and fear of injury or disease, the blessing of vibrant good health…..  An array of evolving stories surrounded me, and showed me the tender humanity of this endeavour. I had spent years muttering to myself that when life was “just so” I would start meditating regularly. Sharing breathing space with these people taught me a great deal about how to “sit with” my not-just-so life. And I've been doing it ever since.    

Being part of a sangha for so long helped me to see my own meditation practice as something which not only brought me deeper into truth and my own stillness, but also reached out and connected me to others.

On a more mundane level, having all these quiet, breathing, unmoving people around me  while I meditated was strong motivation for me to sit still and stay put! Peer pressure! Especially in the early days, this was most helpful to me. I also found it reassuring to ocassionally hear others (some of them robed and shaved bald) talk about the challenges of meditation: physical pain, contageous yawns, a song stuck in the mind on perpetual Replay, feet falling asleep, the itch between the shoulder blades, the fly buzzing around your head!

Nowadays, I no longer live near that zen sangha, and have yet to connect with another community that I can meditate with and learn from. But from time to time, I have meditated with friends online. This seemingly improbable way of getting together actually does create some of the effect and energy of meditation in the physical presence of others. 

My tendency is toward isolation. I prefer solitary sitting. But I am committed to continuing to reach past that and include group meditation in my practice. For me, it's worth getting out there.

bows,
Tea

Re: Group meditation or solo?

Hey Will,

You know- I do tend to agree with you in my own experience, however I think ultimately, a group that has sat a lot together creates a much stronger field that can enhance practice even more. Scattered, intermittent, occasional, or multi-leveled groups with adepts and beginners tend to be much more diluted in strength, which makes me want to go back to my solo practice.

I think this really tells about the challenge of forging a strong, regular practice group out of a lay community. Short of doing that, individual practice seems to take on greater importance, however a lot of people find practicing easier with others because they're more easily able to show up and actually do the practice than by themselves.

I think the balance point is somewhere in between.  When we can each hone our own practice in a way that is consistent enough to jive with others' (using a common form such as zazan, samatha/shine, a sadhana, vipassana, ngondro, or other) through dedicated self-discipline, and the flexibility to open up that practice to being able to do it in a group as well is the best. However, this can be challenging often.

I've found it is easiest to do group practice in low-form contexts, such as samatha, and zazen, rather than the highly ritualized, varied and distinct Vajrayana sadhanas. I tend to thrive on stability, and repitition and generate power through relying on a practice that goes the way I'm used to every time. So, this can be hard when practicing with a group that does the practice differently. That's where the flexibility aspect should enter in, and push one to broaden the scope of the efficacy of one's practice. How much one does that is of course best determined by individual preference.

Since many Western Buddhists have practiced in primarilty solo modes, with books or CDs or courses as their guides, rather than in a stable, communal fashion, we definitely tend to be much more solo and individualistic in our practices, and in our way of relating to our own spiritual paths, much more so than ethnically-contexted traditions, such as Thai or Sinhalese Theravada, Tibetan, or Zen communities.

These traditions have a lot to offer us Westerners in the ways of possible benefits from embracing a more group-centric practice mode, however we are challenged to integrate into that well.