Trauma shames

The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief thatone is flawed as a person. The content of the addiction, whether it be aningestive addiction or an activity addiction (like work, buying or gambling)is an attempt at an intimate relationship. The workaholic with his work, orthe alcoholic with his booze, are having a love affair. Each one mood altersto avoid the feeling of loneliness and hurt in the underbelly of shame. Eachaddictive acting out creates life-damaging consequences which create moreshame. … Shame begets shame. The cycle begins with the false belief systemthat all addicts have, that no one could want them or love them as they are.In fact, addicts can't love themselves. They are an object of scorn tothemselves. This deep internalized shame gives rise to distorted thinking.The distorted thinking can be reduced to the belief that I'll be okay if Idrink, eat, have sex, get more money, work harder, etc. The shame turns one

into what Kellogg has termed a “human doing”, rather than a human being.

John Bradshaw, “Healing The Shame That Binds You”

Re: Trauma shames

I can really identify with Bradshaw. When I observe my mind in mindfulness practice I can see how the rational, analytic part always jumps in when there is a noise and it needs to make sure that nothing threatening is going on. A survivor and defense mechanism, it seems to be.

As long as I don't identify with the thoughts I go back to peace and serenity, but if I follow the analyzer I am lost in the story.  So noises are mini-traumas, while big traumas identify me completely with the thinking mind and the fear.

Mikael