The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

Do people have certain erroneous ideas about your country?

The following is self explanatory.  Feel free to add relevent stuff about your country.

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They
were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual
responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of
humour.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
 

Re: The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

Hi Andrew,

One of the funny things about this is that there are at least two other different versions of it for different countries - for the other versions and the full snopes article see snopes.com: Olympic Torched

Love,

Nicole

Re: The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

I thought it might have got a better run than that.

You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to put one over you Canadians…

Re: The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

Why, thank you! LOL!

Re: The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

Fun list! :-)  Although it is a humor piece that comes in different versions, it is funny because of the truth it represents; I can imagine these and other similar questions being asked… and that these answers are reflective of what many would LIKE to say in response. 

The United States is often known for its faulty or limited perceptions of other parts of the world, but of course the reverse is also true in that many often lump all of the US into one group when it varies greatly in many ways from one region to the next in terms of geography, culture, and even dialect.  I have often been told that I “do not talk like most Americans” because I do not have a southern twang (I was raised in the Pacific Northwest… which is much more than just Seattle, btw). 

Re: The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

This reminds me of the questions I get about Oklahoma anytime I travel ANYWHERE more than 600 miles away… and I travel A LOT.

Some of my favorites:

Q: So you’re from Oklahoma? You don’t have an accent, did you take a class to speak better?

A: No, actually, I just look for the most inarticulate people in the places I go so I don’t stick out too much.

Q: (this is copy and pasted) omg ur from okahlma? whts ur horsese name!?

A: Tornado. You’ve probably heard about him on the news. He’s made history a few times with his F4s and F5s.

Q: So do you live out with the cowboys and Indians in the plains?

A: No, I live with the witchdoctors and Colonel Sanders in the mountains.

Q: (from a friend visiting) Can we go see some Indian tribes now?

A: I guess, if you really want to hit up the casino, but going to New Mexico is probably cheaper.

And from people who live in this state about other places:

Q: So do all the Koreans wear kimonos?

A: Yes, and they do a festive dance at dusk and dawn.

Q: Do they all eat pizza in Chicago?

A: I’m sorry, what did you have for breakfast and dinner the past four days? No, no one eats pizza but you.

Q: Did you get a sombraro from a Mexican while you were there?

A: No, they were all too busy drinking and sleeping and shooting each other between making tortillasto give me a chance to ask for one.

Q: Did you get some miracas when you were in New Mexico?

A: …I’m gonna let you think about that question and see if you can find something NEW to ask.

Q: Can you see Russia if you look across the water from Seattle?

A: Depends on how much vodka you’ve had when you look.

As can be observed from the somewhat caustic nature of the responses, Centri is under the belief that if you have ready access to the internet, you should check your facts before asking questions… especially if those questions are as up to date as Mac is on engineering software (but that’s another rant entirely).

Anywho, people are doomed to ask ridiculous questions about “exotic” things. May as well make it interesting.

Laughing all the while,

Centri

Re: The Lighter Side of Being Misunderstood

Good to enjoy some of your unique take on the world Centri.

I’ve missed it…