Gaia: MISUNDERSTOOD? - WELCOME - Warning... No misunderstanding...

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

http://fastdarter.gaia.com — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:43:57 GMT

Giggles to all and much love.

And please don't press the button.

Hugs

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:52:07 GMT

I have no desire to alienate those that have been kind enough to offer messages and posts of support.

I agree Sarah, and others that have messaged me, that the issue has pretty much run it's course.

I've offered my unequivocable apologies to all that I've offended into blocking me.

As I've already said I hold no ill will towards anyone.

I would feel like a hypocrite to have unforgiveness in my heart and yet continue to post on Gaia.

My conscience is clear.

Thank you Dave for enlightening me and your help in adding clarity and direction to this thread.

When I figure out how to close this thread without deleting it I will do so.

Peace and love in the interests of understanding and cooperation.

Andrew

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:43:52 GMT

Dear, funny, kind, intelligent, thinking Andrew,

Why don't we just end this discussion and start another, perhaps entitled "Understanding"? This seems to go on and on and things are not improving.

I love you, I laugh at you, I like your insights (you too Dave), and don't want anyone to go too far and be banned. That possibility seems silly and petty to me anyway.

The only way someone should ever be banned is if they are using horrible profanity or arguing constantly about nothing in particular. Blocking someone is a personal, albeit rude, choice any of us can make and should be allowed, I guess.

Peace, laughter, love, and a new topic?
Sarah

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:49:09 GMT

One thing I meant to ask Dave, what you said about-

the alternative would be to target them until they are gone once and for all.. and believe me, there are people who would do that.

Irrespective of how tempting it is I'm not going to intentionally provoke anyone to such a cowardly, hateful, pathetic, stupid, irresponsible, atrocious, brain dead action, I wont.

But that sort of behaviour wouldn't be condoned by Siona or the Team so if someone did behave in that manner, they'd be censured anyway wouldn't they?

Curious

Andrew

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:23:55 GMT

This thread has been about exactly that Dave.

this thread is about trying to help others who may be blocked in the future, to have some kind of transparency, or at least certainty about why they were blocked.

And I certainly wasn't picking on Sherri. She was there agreeing with me that was all. EVERBODY that has commented in favour of those that have blocked me have said or inferred I should know why I was blocked.

What you've pointed out there Dave is news to me.

at this time in your Gaia life, you carry a label of challenge (before the blocking issue), that has left you with little leeway on negative communications, whereas other members have more leeway.

That has been the major sticking point in my understanding.

I didn't understand why I was being discriminated against.

I appreciate your enlightening me about this Dave it is just a pity someone didn't tell me 3 months ago before I was first blocked.

Being given the position of ambassador gave me the false impression I'd been doing the right thing, that I was acceptable as a person. I had no idea I was a serious challenge to some, other than in a lighthearted way.

I haven't wasted my time on this thread but I was hoping along the way to determine the issue to be able to do something about it

If being true to myself, saying what I think, in love and standing up for what I believe means I'm a challenge then I expect I'll be asked to leave.

I sincerely appreciate your assistance, support and now revealing what the problem is (and has been all along).

It's the person I am that some have found challenging Dave, and that's not about to change.

Peace

Andrew

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:27:03 GMT

Hey Andrew buddy,

Just to be sure I am on the right track here, in your latest post to Sherri.

It is my understanding that this thread is about trying to help others who may be blocked in the future, to have some kind of transparency, or at least certainty about why they were blocked. I agree with you on this.

One thing I will say about Gaia, unlike other community sites, is that members are given a chance to have their case heard before being deactivated as members. That is certainly not the case at myspace or facebook or Twitter etc. Once you're gone, you're gone for good without explanation.

At Gaia, a member and friends can defend that member's position for membership. In many cases, members are invited back based on the rally and cry. This pleases some, and of course angers others who would have preferred the member was gone for good.

One of the downsides of this approach, is that member's who have been on the edge, or brought back from the abyss, now have a label on them, and will be watched until they have been fully integrated back into the community. There are other members though, who want nothing to do with a prodigal member, and have the right to block them... without explanation... for without the blocking feature, the alternative would be to target them until they are gone once and for all.. and believe me, there are people who would do that.

I for one believe the parable of the prodigal son is one about love and unconditional forgiveness. But, we loving peace freaks are a minority on this planet.. just watch the news 24 hours a day.

So.. why do you feel that your words are sanctioned, and others ignored? Unfortunately Andrew, history is the reason... at this time in your Gaia life, you carry a label of challenge (before the blocking issue), that has left you with little leeway on negative communications, whereas other members have more leeway. In some cases, they may have too much leeway, and get the benefit of the doubt in difficult situations, when their words can be equally or more damaging. Fair.. not always.. but life ain't fair all the time.

While I am a loving supporter of yours my brother, and you have done a great service by creating this thread, and you have helped members be aware of the downside of the blocking feature. On the other hand, if you prolong this discussion too long, you risk coming across as anti-establishment, and equally unwilling to let the past go.

This may be the time for you to let this go too. You are kind of on parole right now, and the best thing may be to spread your wonderful and positive talents around the community, with humor and love. Get integrated back into Gaia, and let the past go on its way.

I want you around here for years my friend, and at least in my opinion, you have demonstrated your concern in a positive way... the Team has responded, and the blocking feature is certainly not 'a hill to die on'.

With love,

Dave

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:58:58 GMT

I have no disagreement with you Sherrilene, but something that has been niggling me about this since election night.

After it was declared Obama had I made the comment

That's the easy bit out of the way.

The real work now begins….

I was challenged, I responded, you agreed with my initial response...

I act as an outside observer myself and am very familiar with U.S. culture [family, friends, self connected or resident there].

Yes, this is a big event… Unity has not been the order of the day for a really long time. This has worn down so many of the people who aren't inclined to fighting and competing with their neighbours and so on. So many wounded spirits…

Healing is in order first; acceptance of a different path will take some time and then it will be time for creative problem solving to begin. Yes, the hard work must begin; this is why positive energy and support is paramount for our American brothers and sisters right now.

Purest love and light is coming your way, friends. Rest on my support, whatever.

Best to all, Sherri

I was blocked, accused of being a wet blanket etc etc.

Not a word was said to or about your contribution...

Each time I've said something that has got me into trouble, I've been agreed with or seconded if you like, yet I've been dealt with and the other person hasn't rated a mention.

Are you picking up yet why I'm confused?

All I've asked for is an explanation.

Osmosis is not one of my strengths.

Others have said things at times deliberately and far more inflammatory than I, yet that seems to be okay.

Is it an unreasonable request to be told why I seem to be singled out?

Peace

Andrew

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:06:11 GMT

Hi Sherri,

I agree with you entirely about ending a discussion or communications with someone.

I guess I can honestly say that I've never been harassed, or overly bugged... where saying goodbye to someone hasn't been enough.

I certainly respect everyone's right to block, I guess it is ma vie innocent that has a difficult time understanding what tips someone to make a rational decision to block another person.

Love ya as always,

Dave

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:30:22 GMT

Hi Dave & Andrew

My suggestion is not to quit talking to someone because you do not like the way a person speaks. But if someone is offensive, I feel I have the right to end communications.

I am really sensitive to how I impact persons with my presence in their space. It's just a matter of respect, in my opinion. I never desire to feel like I am imposing; I'd like to feel welcomed.

If I am not, I need to move on!

Now the rules are a little blurred in Online Community... so I think it should come down to consensus by the membership, about what might be considered appropriate. This is only an opinion, and something that I would apply if I were in charge of the community. But I am still one member only...

I truly don't feel any guilt for moving on to secure my 'sanity' and what I feel in my heart I have the power to handle/manage, given the constraints in my personal life. I have 'entertained' many persons that ultimately just wanted the last word on a matter, and this drained me so much... and to what good? Not my wellbeing, certainly; I got completely worn down! There was no consideration for the wear and tear on my system... yes, some of us are delicate :D But their ego was pleasantly rubbed in the exchange!

If not for this personal experience, I would not endorse a person taking such action according to their best judgment... nor ask others to just simply let it go... Is it quite worth it, seriously?

With regards to the greater good in this event we refer to, maybe we're all learning, about personal space, respect of self and others and what good community is all about. I suspect this lesson is in progress right now.

Peace and greater harmony to all brothers.

Sherrilene

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 14:32:38 GMT

Fortunately Dave you are representative of the vast majority of ambassadors.

Why would someone want to be an ambassador yet not communicate?

I wouldn't have thought the title was a status symbol but I could be wrong.

I've worked with people that have had titles but not been prepared to recognise the responsibility that goes with the privelege. In the long term they've proved to be a waste of space and a liability.

You live and learn.

an eccentric Aussie

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 14:04:04 GMT

Sherri,

You are correct, the world is a dark and awesome place. One of the great megatrends of our times is cocooning... the act of escaping the darkness around us, by settling into our domains and blocking out that which wastes our time, or sucks our energies.

Gaia as a community, is a perfect example.. where members can sit comfortably in their homes and spend tons of time with people from around the world that they love.

Of course, there is goodness in this, but there is also darkness.

The downside of cocooning is that it can turn into a negative, downward spiral, where we get into the habit of escapism, always protecting our time and vulnerability, until we become isolated, cautious and judgmental.

There are Ambassador's at Gaia who have been here since the beginning, have only a dozen or so friends, and when inviting them to be my friend.. have refused me, for they want their privacy.. this is fine... but it sure ain't me.

However, unless someone is very strong in outward giving and love to others... it is too easy to say.. "I do not have time for this person.. block them." or .. "I do not like what this person is saying... she bothers me... so block them."

In this world today... as difficult as it is.... I cannot grow if I go around dismissing someone either because I do not have time, or do not like the way they talk. I can choose to ignore their posts, but I would never actively block someone for disagreeing with or being annoyed by them...

Just me I guess... no matter how much someone bothered or even harassed me, I just could not go through life, with that person knowing I was one who blocked them... it's just not in my DNA.

Love ya,

Dave

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:35:08 GMT

Once upon a time in a far off land lived a beautiful maiden called Cinderalla. Being a fairytale the king had just been deposed without bloodshed by a distant relative of the servants of the kings household and there was much happiness and celebration in the land.

The village idiot a very handsome but misunderstood soul saw the celebrating but as he had only recently arrived from a land where he'd been released from an asylum, couldn't understand what the fuss was about and indiscreetly suggested that though a bloodless change of kingship was a good thing, wasn't the real work for the new king still ahead?

Cinderalla thought the village idiot was a party pooper and refused to talk to him. Her 2 sisters followed suite in the days following.

This perplexed the village idiot because from the time of his arrival in the kingdom he hadn't had a crossed word with any of the 3 sisters and saw them as friends and teachers.

After a few days Cinderalla had compassion on the village idiot and started to talk to him again, but the 2 sisters steadfastly refused to have anything to do with the village idiot.

The village idiot was a bit outspoken about this because he wanted to know why he was being treated this way by the 2 sisters, but to this day it remains a mystery to him.

A little while later the village idiot got into an argument with yet another of Cinderallas sisters who then refused to talk to him. But this time he had an inkling as to why. He thought the argument was seen as a bit one sided but accepted his punishment.

A short time before the village idiot had been admitted to the holy order of those who waited on tables in the kingdom, to which Cinderalla and her brothers and sisters belonged. But as a result of this argument he was thrown back into the street by the Fairy Godmother.

The village idiot didn't know to keep his mouth shut, but was outspoken about having the silent treatment from the 2 sisters.

Many of those of the holy order of waiting on tables considered that the village idiot must have had an idea why certain of their order refused to talk to the village idiot because it was unthinkable that any of there class would treat another in this way.

Because the village idiot created such a fuss about not knowing why he was treated this way the Fairy Godmother warned the village idiot that unless he held his tongue and stopped talking about his treatment he would be banished from the kingdom.

And with the passing of time the village idiot discovered when he tried to send greetings and salutations to Cinderalla that she had decided she didn't want to talk to the village idiot any more. This left the village idiot even more confused as he hadn't talked to Cinderalla for a l-o-n-g time.

The village idiot was starting to feel pleased that he wasn't waiting on tables anymore because he didn't want to be associated with uncaring people that turned their backs on others without having the manners to excuse themselves.

The village idiot wondered if this would ever end. Even in his twisted mind it didn't seem logical that though the kingdom wanted to share peace and love across the land, it would condone such divisive behaviour

Will the village idiot be banished from the kingdom???

Nobody knows for sure...

The End

"To retire is not to flee, and there is no wisdom waiting when danger outweighs hope, and it is the part of wise men to preserve themselves today for tomorrow, and not risk all in one day." - Cervantes

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:12:46 GMT

Ooh, I'd like to add that I have myself felt the absolute need to delete 'friends' for highly offensive statements and actions to me, not just on GAIA but elsewhere.

I have also been 'hunted' to comment on subjects that I didn't want to be a part of anymore because it went against my intention. It truly did feel like harassment actually. It took a lot of effort to say, quietly, 'this is my belief and my choice...' and that eventually shut things off. But I am certain the uncertainty remained on the other persons' side.

I didn't have the answers that they wanted and I still don't but I feel that far less harm was done by walking away and preserving my sanity than pursuing a subject that was simply not going anywhere useful.

Sherri

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Dave you make me smile. Master of love hehe

I agree that if somebody closes the door to communication it says something about the person; but what, I couldn't say. Giving my professional opinion I could only say that a sense of a need to retain a safe space for one's self is usually the reason that a reasonable person will make such a choice, as long as this option is available to them.

This is an online community! In our day to day lives we may not have an option to lock off incoming inflow that we don't like, but we can here! People might just be utilising their right to this choice. This would be my guess... and as this is an informal space, I don't expect to be held accountable for it lol

I'm also thinking of the volume of other 'stuff' that all of us are coping with in day to day life, some much more than others since our substantive work might involve dealing with some of the rough and hardness of this reality, and to feel obligated to fending off less important [in one's scheme of things] situations seems like a lot to ask as well, if your health and its management are important to you. It's [simply] a question of priorities, IMO.

But that's speculation and not necessarily a solution.

As long as Andrew's at peace with his offerings, things should be great, irrespective of GAIA choices. Those who love him will follow him wherever he goes, that's for certain.

All the best to all,

Sherrilene

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 15:22:03 GMT

Hey Sherri,

Great comments. I agree with you whole heartedly that Ambassadors hold a responsibility to uphold Gaia's values and terms of understanding.

As a good friend of dear Andrew, I along with other Ambi's have been at his side through this from the outset. It is fair to say, that in the judgment of the Team, there were things that Andrew said during a discussion that needed to be censored. It happened to me in a group discussion once too.

As Forrest Gump says... life is like a box of chocolates.. and sh*t happens. ;-)

In my own opinion, the reasons that some people volunteer to be Ambassadors, is similar in nature why people choose to become cops.

Some want to serve the public, and are committed to uphold the law, and represent the values of community.

Some want respect, and believe the badge and gun garners respect.

Being the master of love that you are... Sherri... you certainly know the difference between those who dedicate their loving energies to others, and those whose energies fuel their own self love.

That will never change in the human condition... and in every profession, every volunteer organization, there are going to be a blend of both.

For whatever reason that someone offers to volunteer their time as a Gaia Ambassador, they are welcomed and thanked for their time.

While this is my opinion only... If I were blocked by an Ambi, or anyone.. it tells me a great deal about them, so as difficult as it may be for being blocked... using the block feature says a lot more about the blocker... than the person being blocked.

Isn't life grand!

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:31:44 GMT

Sherrilene I don't think you realise it but you have me at a disadvantage because I am not allowed to address issues you have raised,

If a member has blocked you, continuing to write about them to other
members and using their names on forums constitutes harassment. Not only is this outside our guidelines, it violates our Terms of Use.

I didn't realise until I received this warning how far reaching the consequences of being blocked were. I cannot even tell you by email what happened without it being considered harassment.

Others that block can and have publically said what they wanted about me on the ambassadors pod, but I can not say anything in my defence without it constituting harassment while I remain blocked.

Until I am told otherwise by Siona, my status is I am currently under a warning - there only needs to be one more complaint made against me and my account will be suspended.

In sweetness and light

Andrew

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:38:01 GMT

I am simply amused and/or amazed that the judgment of multiple Ambassadors has been so easily slighted and that no-one apparently has questioned why Ambassadors, who stand for the community values repeatedly and have themselves not been complained for, sufficiently to be themselves penalised, would feel the need to take such a bold, big step as to block any individual!

Having been an Ambassador myself before, I know the responsibility which comes with the [unpaid] title, and the self control that has to go into thickening the skin at highly offensive statements of every kind. It isn't simple and should not suddenly be treated as such IMO.

As a [simple] community member now [since I gave up the title, undesirous of the additional stresses which come with this responsibility], I know of and have counselled many highly intelligent, peace making persons who were completely railroaded, harassed, stalked, hunted... I daresay abused by persons in this community and had little recourse but to remove themselves from the forum for their own sense of safety.

I recall a similar sequence of events happening a few months ago and it led to the departure of some outstanding, highly contributive members of this community in frustration and quite some disappointment. Some are still recovering from the impact of that unfortunate time.

The efforts from GAIA in this instance, might be based on learnings from that episode which definitely disrupted this community big time!

The Ambassadors who field the wealth of queries and questions that come up here and help to keep the standards up in terms of peaceful, progressive discussion, ought to be given a little credit for their discernment about what is satisfactory for themselves... They are not little kids; check them out...

And frankly, if they want to block they have the right to, and peacemakers that we all claim to be, we ought definitely NOT to judge them for addressing what they determine is for their wellbeing.

That's my thoughts on this.

Peace and much respect where it's due, to all.

Sherrilene

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:17:53 GMT

What an amazing effect a little tolerance and desire to understand can make.

I am so blessed to find that people are willing to open up and share, not to benefit themselves but that others may benefit by realising the consequences of an unforgiving action.

Denim, thank you for being so honest in revealing your experience and your reference to the POWER OF FORGIVENESS and for me the quote of this thread...

When one person heals, we all benefit.

Dave, you are amazing. You are a peacemaker. Though there is nothing in this for you, you have been prepared to stick your neck out to build bridges that others may benefit. Thank you for your support.

Sarah thank you for your straightforward input.

Nicole thank you for giving added perspective.

Sandy your support adds credibility to the point of this discussion.

When one person heals, we all benefit.

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:05:07 GMT

Thank you Denim,

What a beautiful, wise post. It is too bad that when someone blocks... it is a negative action... that hurts both people... and it isn't always the offender who needs to heal.. it is both people.

Blocking is like a double edged sword... it cuts into the heart of both the blocker and the blocked person.

D

Re: Warning... No misunderstanding...

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:00:20 GMT

Sarah,

I've been thinking about your question on 'irony', and all I can come up with is a whole lot of understanding.

I've made efforts on others' behalf for members to consider removing blocks, or even moreso.. engaging in conversation with the person who was blocked.

My overall observation is that not only do they feel totally justified in having blocked another member, they feel no need to explain themselves, and certainly have no desire to ever communicate with the person they blocked, under any circumstances. They also feel quite upset at me for even suggesting they consider mending fences, or even allowing someone to apologize.

While I certainly would never act that way, it is important to respect thier right to create a wall of privacy and security around their personal community within Gaia. There are a ton of gated communities in the world, and Gaia gives members the freedom to create thier own at many levels.

I still think we should call it the privacy function or something like that... which suggests a member may have blocked tons of people to create a more comfortable experience of privacy, rather than leaving one person with the stigma that they have been blocked... forever.

Dave