Attachment

I am currently working through the concept of attachment in my life.
It seems that I have become “attached ” to a certin sum of money that I expected to get. I am working it through in my meditation practice, but still, I hate to be up in the air about it.
I wish I knew if I was going to get it or not.
I know that attachment to the wrong thing can be bad and I keep telling myself that it does not matter if I get this or not.
Still, I can't seem to really get detached from the disire to have this. It would make some things easier if it does come through–but if it does not I have a back up plan–it's all very confusing.
any advice?

Re: Attachment

Dear Lizzy,

You asked a really good question that stumbles beginners and advanced Buddhists alike! :)

The thing is, attachment is a heady foe. It’s a really tricky thing to learn from and over time, eliminate.. but the surest way of NOT going about it would be to tell yourself that “it doesn’t really matter if I get the money or not.”

However, it IS good to be mindful of your mind states constantly.
Instead of trying – unsuccessfully – to convince yourself that everything is ok, try using the Four Noble Truths… whenever this desire for the money, etc. pops into your head, whether during regular waking hours or during meditation:

-This is the arising of suffering. Ask yourself, how do you feel about this money issue? Positive, negative, neutral? Where do you feel this suffering?

-This is the cause of suffering. Your suffering is being caused by your craving, your attachment. But why do you have this craving, this attachment? This is really important to ponder. Buddha denoted two other causes of suffering, and you may note how they lead to craving: aversion and anger, and also ignorance or delusion.

Your desire to have this money is not in itself a bad thing; we Buddhists aren’t supposed to be emotion-less or stoic! Quite the inverse; we’re supposed to be full of bliss and consummate compassion! It’s your attachment to having things a certain way.. that is, having more money.. and your aversion (note that, aversion) to, your fear of, being in a situation where you don’t have more money.

..but where does that desire/attachment, aversion and anger.. your fear.. come from? It seems incomplete somehow.. Aha! The ignorance or delusion! What did Buddha mean by that? He meant that we live our lives in a way that is ignorant of the truth of reality.

And what is this truth of reality? That life is subject to suffering, component things are impermanent, subject to decay.. and not-self.

What did he mean by impermanent? Well, look at a seed.. if it were permanent, it would stick around forever without change, and we would never have a tree.. but the seed instead is impermanent, it transmutes (converts) into what we call a tree. Note that the seed never dies – nothing truly does – what was never born can not die! The same is true of our bodies; they’re impermanent.. if not, a young girl would never blossom into a beautiful, mature woman who one day has a child, and who in turn, etc.. it’s even a law of physics: energy cannot come from nowhere, and it also can’t just cease. It transmutes.

Obviously, this applies to all existence.. including your mind and the desire itself. It comes and goes, right? Why are you clinging to that unfortunate mind state?! ;)

There’s more. If I have a bowl full of water, it’s full, right? Wrong. It’s full of… what? Water. Things cannot exist independently, alone. They rely on other things to exist. Now, if we dump the water out, the bowl is empty, correct? Wrong.. it’s empty of water. Just like a building can be called “tall” only in comparison to other buildings that are shorter, so too are all concepts relative.

But if you really look deeply at that bowl, it would not, could not, exist without the hands that made it, the food that fed that person.. the clay used to make it, the water used to soften the clay, the kiln used to fire the bowl, the fire itself, the kindling.. even the clouds, the rain, the sun, the earth, the sky, you, me.. there’s definitely still water in that bowl. ;) In fact, the entire cosmos is in that bowl, in you, me, everything.

This is called interdependence, and also why you’re not-self.

But still.. we can say our minds are at least the same, they make us who we are, right? If that’s true, you would be able to tell your mind not to suffer, not to get angry, to never change viewpoints. But it does. We’re made up of the five aggregates (khandas):

Form
Feeling
Perception of form
Mental objects/intentional action
and resultant consciousness

Of course, none of these exist alone, nor can be said to truly precede or secede the other. They’re interdependent, and are best appreciated as working in “feedback loops.”

If there is nothing that can honestly be said to be your own, why would you want to haphazardly identify with it, whether it be a mind state, an object, what we conceptually call a self or person, etc.?

It would be helpful to see these patterns when meditating (and in life), whether it’s the impermanence of your breath, the body, your desire, or whatever crops up.

-The third noble truth states that there is and end of suffering, a way out. What is the way out? Nibbana, or Nirvana. This is like the prescription or antidote to suffering.. anyone that thinks Buddhism is pessimistic because is mentions suffering just hasn’t gotten this far yet! :)

-The Fourth Noble Truth, the path to the end of suffering, is the Noble Eightfold Path… and is what leads to Nibbana/Nirvana:

-Skillful Understanding (understanding the Four Noble Truths, impermanence, suffering, not-self and karma)

-Skillful View (seeing things in accordance with and learning from the Four Noble Truths, impermanence, suffering, not-self and karma)

-Skillful Action (not harming, stealing, etc.)

-Skillful Speech (speaking skillfully, not slandering, not telling lies, not speaking divisively, etc.)

-Skillful Livelihood (not partaking in a profession that would violate any of the precepts or act counter to the Noble Eightfold Path)

-Skillful Effort (arousing effort to do skillful things, maintaining that effort; arousing effort to not do unskillful things, maintaining that effort)

-Skillful Mindfulness (being mindful of the body, posture, mind states, lack of mind states, etc.. basically, the Four Foundations of Mindfulness / The Four Frames of Reference)

-Skillful Concentration (essentially, vipassana-samatha bhavana.. meditation wherein the Jhanas are attained and used for learning all the above, particularly the source and elimination of suffering)

There’s a lot more to the basics – and I’m sure that you know many of them, if not even the above. Even so, I hope that explaining how you can.. transmute, ha.. unskillful thinking patterns into skillful lines of questioning and concentrated introspection.. and over time, into skillful thinking patterns.. is helpful to you. :)

Does it all make sense? Do you have any questions? :)

All the best,

-Rob AKA shadowmonkx

Re: Attachment

oew, I have a new attachement approach, let me look it up.
Pitty, don't remember.

my advice?
look at the money you need, (survival)
and the portion that isn't.
Then choose between what you want, and what you need.

Re: Attachment

'Then choose between what you want, and what you need.'

…because once you 'understand' the difference between the 2 the whole thing begins to unravel without having to work at it. ;)

Re: Attachment

it behooves us to allow whatever arises to arise
and to fully experience it as divine will
whether this is desire or revulsion or some other shade of fear -
it is in the allowing it to arise without resistance
without clinging nor rejection of that which emerges –
this is the path to freedom…

also, Lizzy
if you eliminate time
thought has nowhere to maneuver
nothing to grasp onto
which leaves you free in this infinite space of NOW
just look around you
connect with what IS
and allow that which is to become to become –
or suffer the consequences!

it is most difficult, in this absurd way
to let go of that which we do not have anyway
we can't control the future
not even one millisecond!
it is too tumultuously complexly diversifying
and it does not belong to us

so the Buddha would have us see the truth of things
that nothing we think can possibly be true
and nothing that occurs can possibly undo
that which is unborn and undying

so if you get the money, wow, nice! enjoy –
but don't think it will make you happy
and know that all the alternatives are as pregnant with potential
as anything our paltry selves can conjure
to represent what we think we need….

sorry about the stacked thoughts – don't worry! it's NOT poetry!
just helps me organize the dream
as it spools through the mind…

Re: Attachment

What we should ultimately aspire to, afterall, is the Buddha land. All our desires will be transformed into enlightenment. Attachments, I have come to understand, are there as a function of our lesser self. Break the shell of the lesser self, and all earthly desires - which represent suffering - become the seeds for our enlightenment. We practice Buddhism to attain a powerful inner state of being so we can revolutionize our very thoughts.

Daily Encouragement by Daisaku Ikeda
Sunday, July 5, 2009

What does attaining Buddhahood mean for us? It does not mean that one day we suddenly turn into a Buddha or become magically enlightened. In a sense, attaining Buddhahood means that we have securely entered the path, or orbit, of Buddhahood inherent in the cosmos. Rather than a final static destination at which we arrive and remain, achieving enlightenment means firmly establishing the faith needed to keep advancing along the path of absolute happiness limitlessly, without end.

Re: Attachment

Excellent post, Mary!


Basho… while I agree in spirit, everyone would do that all the time – and would never suffer – if only it were so easy!  :)  I think that most of us don't truly appreciate what it is we really need vs. what we want; they're interchangeable for many people.  We trick ourselves into seeing something we desire as a “need,” justify it to death with rationalizations, and then finally suffer when we don't get what we “need”.. and just as much so when we do get it (we worry about losing it, or it loses its novelty when something better presents itself as an option … be it a new car or a new job, etc.)

That is to say, our own desire and aversion owing to ignorance causes our suffering.  Removing the blinders is a difficult, but gradual and rewarding process.

jaBuddha: Hey, Buddha Bear.. long time no talk, lol.. how are you?  I'm curious, are you referring to Buddha Land as a place in time or space, or is it a synonym or euphemism for Nibbana/Nirvana.. or…?

I think that you're referring to a state of existence or mind, but in any case, just to clarify, I don't believe that any of us are incapable of attaining Arhantship (but not actual Buddhahood – there was only one Siddhatta Gotama) in this lifetime, if we persevere and truly want it.  On the other hand, I disagree in the view that everything would magically come together and life would be perfect in some kind of heaven.. because it's just that kind of view that keeps us from truly getting to the crux of suffering in this lifetime, in the present moment.. because there is obviously no other time more important than right now!  ;)

The rest of what was said.. that we are entering a path or orbit.. definitely rings true.. Buddhahood is something consciously attained, and consciously maintained.. but oddly, not in a concentrative way.. but instead with detached mindfulness that is akin to watching characters in movie.. we're aware of what's going on, but not “buying into” things as if they are anything but a film reel.

I hope that our posts help those who are on the path, or whom may be interested in the path.  :)

All the best to you all.. Namaste!

-Rob