Gaia: Non-Dual Psychotherapy - Books, Methods, Masters - Course-Based Psychotherapy

Re: The "Holy Encounter"

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 21:15:53 GMT

Billy, thank you so much for sharing this post....

I'd like to add also that this applies in any relationship, this true perception... seeing that the 'person' is not the conditioning.

I currently have the opportuninty to deeply look at this in my intimate relationship with my partner Paulie.

Offering an environment of non-judgement, of not punishing or resenting the 'other' for slipping into an unconscious, yet -unexplored, mind state or reaction, is the only way to truly be of assistance.

I find it is difficult enough, well a challenge, not to judge myself in times of mis-identification or reaction, and having somone else there punishing or judging , makes it more of a challenge to come back to our natural, true, Being of peace.

And even though, in relationships, the 'other' may not be able to offer an environment of non-judgement, we have to offer that to ourselves, and see and accept that they are not able to be at that level of awareness, yet...

So, knowing how this feels, I see that it is best to allow someone to react in a non-judgmental , non-punishing enviroinment, not mistaking who they truly are for their temporary reaction.

This is the best we can offer another towards liberation from suffering.

Love to All,

Soul

The "Holy Encounter"

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 15:34:26 GMT

In my definition of nondual therapy I mention an aspect of the therapeutic relationship called a "holy encounter." This is an idea from A Course in Miracles that I think is very important when it comes to psychotherapy. But what is meant by this idea? What does a "holy encounter" look like or consist of? Here is how Robert Perry describes the holy encounter in his amazing book Return to the Heart of God: The Practical Philosophy of A Course in Miracles:

"One person allows into her mind a fresh perception of the other, and this sparks an encounter in which both individuals experience a new view of each other. The chalice of true perception is passed back and forth, and as they both drink of it, they are lifted together into a timeless moment. This moment may feel spiritual or it may not. Yet neither one will leave it the same person, and the change that enters in this moment may change countless lives beyond their own" (emphasis added).

He then goes on to say something about this "true perception":

"The true perception that is exchanged in these encounters is a way of seeing the other person that overlooks all that would make us recoil from him or her. This true perception, then, is simply another way of talking about forgiveness. Forgiveness is the active ingredient in holy encounters.... [T]he full power of forgiveness lies not in the private experience of it, but in the giving and receiving of it. That is where forgiveness has maximal power to change us and change the world around us. And that is why the Course teaches that it is 'holy encounters in which salvation can be found" (emphasis added).

You might then be wondering what the Course means by forgiveness. If you are not a student of the Course or if you have not read much about it, you will probably have a very different understanding of the concept of forgiveness than is taught in the Course. Perry often likes to distinguish between the "conventional view" and the "unconventional view" when it comes to many of the basic concepts of the Course. It is important that we understand the differences between these two views when it comes to the concept of forgiveness.

The conventional view of forgiveness is based in the belief in "the reality of sin." Here is how Perry defines it in his Glossary of Terms from A Course in Miracles:

"Giving up your resentment towards another and your right to punish him, even though you keep the perception that he sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him. According to the Course, this forgiveness cannot forgive, for it affirms that the other sinned and thus is worthy of condemnation (yours and his own). It also affirms that you are holier than he, because he sinned and you forgave."

The unconventional view of forgiveness is based on the "unreality of sin." Here is how Perry defines it:

"Giving up your false perception that another sinned against you and that you are justified in resenting and punishing him.... Releasing another not from what he did, but from 'what he did not do,' from your [or his] misperception of what he did. This can forgive, for it frees your mind of resentment and releases the other from the accusation of sin and guilt. The rational behind forgiveness is that sin is not real. It is a wrong perception of attack. Attack has no power to do real harm, because what is real (in you and in your 'attacker') cannot be harmed or changed in any way. The ultimate rationale for forgiveness is that 'the separation never occurred,' that 'I am as God created me,' that 'God's Son is guiltless'" (emphasis added).

Perhaps now we can understand what is meant by these words that open the Course:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

What all of this tells me about the "therapeutic relationship" is that my client comes to my office with their false perception of sin and its resulting guilt. They come to me believing that they have sinned or that the world has sinned against them. They feel both guilt and resentment and believe that both of them are justified. If I am unconscious I will also get caught up in this misperception and start believing in this same worldview of sin, guilt and resentment.

My job as a therapist, then, is to allow a true perception to enter into the relationship and communicate that perception to my client (not necessarily in words at first). By not reacting to the client's misperception, but instead offering a wholly new perception, the potential is there for both of us to be lifted into a holy encounter. The client's perception of me (and of themselves) begins to change. By joining with the client in the unreality of sin and the reality that the separation never occurred, both of us are changed by this meeting. And, the ripple effect of that meeting extends in countless directions, impacting countless lives.

Course-Based Psychotherapy

http://billyledford.gaia.com — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 20:02:39 GMT

I found a couple of fantastic articles by Robert Perry on what he calls "Course-Based Psychotherapy." This is therapy based on the teachings of A Course in Miracles. I was amazed at how similar my own approach is to the one that he describes. Here is the link to one of the articles:

http://www.circleofa.org/articles/HowDoYouKnowPsychotherapy.php

And here is a copy of it:

How Do You Know if You Are Doing Course-Based Psychotherapy?

by Robert Perry

Most of the following principles apply to any interaction in which you are attempting to be helpful.

You don't see your patient as mistreated by the world and needing to uncover just how mistreated she has been. Instead, you see that what has hurt her is her angry perception of the world, and nothing more.

You don't see your patient as needing to take responsibility in the form of more confidently and assertively managing his external world (through taking care of himself, drawing his boundaries, stating his needs, etc.), but through letting go of his resentments.

Whatever the patient says is causing her pain, you realize that the real source of all her suffering is her guilt (which comes from her own unforgiveness). Whenever your patient weeps, you realize that, down deep, she is weeping for her own lost innocence.

No matter how deeply the patient believes he is a vulnerable victim, you realize that the weak self he believes in is the fantasy construct of his all-powerful mind.

You deeply appreciate just how desperately attached the patient is to his weak and guilty self-concept, and therefore gently and lovingly help him loosen his grip on this self-concept, which is the cause of his anguish, yet which he considers his most precious possession.

As a matter of course, you expect the patient to attack you in order to defend her cherished self-concept. You realize that the core of psychotherapy is to respond to these attacks without defense, and thus show her a way of being that is so secure it doesn't need to protect itself with attack and defense.

Even if the patient is sure that the goal of therapy is to take charge of her life in a difficult world, you realize that the goal is to unconditionally forgive the world.

As you listen to your patient describe his problems, you are keenly aware that the problem is never out there, that the problem is always his resentful perception that the problem is out there.

As you communicate with your patient, you place more focus on how charitably you see her than on how understanding and therapeutic your words sound.

No matter how confident or callous your patient is, or how clean his conscience seems, you realize that the remedy he needs is for you to tell him in your heart that all his sins have been forgiven him. You know that, even if he doesn't realize it, he has all along been praying that you will tell him this.

You try to remember always that anything unworthy of love you see in your patient, anything that makes you recoil, anything that seems inferior, is your own song of guilt projected onto the patient.

Rather than seeing the patient as a diseased, unworthy lesser being, you try always to remember that she is your savior. She will save you through seeing the sinlessness in you. She will absolve you through forgiving your sins. She will do these things for you as a natural response to you doing them for her.

No matter how ugly the material your patient trots out, you see your job as telling him, "That's not who you are"--and believing it yourself.

You realize that success depends on establishing a real collaboration with your patient, an authentic joining, in which you and the patient eventually lose all sight of separate interests.
You realize that to be a master therapist, you must be a master at joining with other people.

Rather than being the therapist holding yourself aloof from your patient, you realize that you both will find healing as you become simply two people who have joined. The form of your relationship will remain that of therapist and patient, but the underlying content will be the same as when any two people join.

Though your words can be extremely helpful, you know they will not carry much power unless they are backed up by your love and by the example of your life.

You realize that you can only give this person healing to the extent that you have accepted healing inside yourself. Thus you realize that your first responsibility is to walk your own path of healing and awakening, that the life you lead outside of the session is the basis for whatever you can give within the session.

You recognize that, by yourself, knowing exactly what this patient needs requires an omniscience that is completely outside your range. And so you lean upon a Power beyond your limited understanding for how to deal with this particular patient.

You listen deeply to the patient, so deeply that you are able to hear the Holy Spirit speaking through him, between his lines, telling you what he needs.

You may interpret the symbols in the patient's dream and thereby uncover hidden personality traits, negative thought patterns or past wounds, but you realize that these reflect the patient's ego, not the patient's true identity, which is far beyond all these.

As a matter of policy, you never turn a patient away because he cannot pay. Why? Because you trust that everyone who comes has been sent by the Holy Spirit; because you recognize your gain comes from the holy encounter between you and he, not from money; and because you know that, after a lifetime of demands, this person needs a true gift of love, not another demand.

I would be curious to know what you think.

Billy