Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Continue this months Open Windows discussion, How do I handle my hurt feelings, in this thread.

This thread is a follow on from How do I handle my hurt feelings - 1
and How do I handle my hurt feelings - 2

 

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Bringing over the last post from our previous discussion thread on this topic, please feel free to respond to any previous posts from How do I handle my hurt feelings in this thread
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Bhatta said Today, 12:14 PM:

Thank you Dear Sanmugan. Here are some quotes from the original:

Bhagwad Gita 18:66:

sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam saranam vraja
aham tvam sarva-papebhyo mokshayisyami ma sucah

“Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear.”

Mathew 11:28

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Jeremiah 31:25

“For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes.”
 

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Thank you dear Anna, we learn so much from each other,

Deep bows,

Nicole

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Anna, thank you for your loving support and your wonderful work in moderating this dialogue.

:) B

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Biig hug Bob, fellow traveler!

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

I am a fan of Oprah & Deepak & found reading this handles hurt feelings
Make Time For Your Friend ~ You
By Deepak Chopra
Here's a guide to the simple things you may often overlook when you neglect to     make time the ally of your body.

`Keep regular hours. Eat and sleep on a regular schedule.

`Avoid drastic changes in diet and activity.

`Set up an orderly work environment. Reduce distractions.

`Rest quietly once to twice during the day to let our body retune itself.

`Take yourself out of stressful situations sooner rather than later.

`Take your time; don't rush.`Make decisions when they arise. 

Don't procrastinate or get distracted.

`Pay attention to what is directly in front of you. 

Focus on one thing at a time.

`Don't multitask. Dividing your attention leads to confusion 

and weakened focus.

`Protect yourself. Avoid the temptation to plunge into 

high-risk situations.`Stay within your comfort zone.

`Put your house and finances in order.

`Address underlying anxiety.`Release underlying anger. 

Learn to do this  without losing control or hurting others.

`Renounce violence in thought and word.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Hi Hummingbird,
Yeah it a childhood thing again. If you guys go to my blog you'll understand a bit better about my own philosophy and why I feel healing is from the outside in and THEN from the inside out.
Sorry if I am yelling. It may not be just me who's yelling….but I'm not sure.

When I was a child I had the knowledge without the words, the determination but not the strength. I know something I just still cant describe it.

With lots of love,
Liza

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

KES, thank you!

Liza, not to worry - you weren't yelling. lol. I just kept hearing you say in your own words, 'I hear you, but it's different for me'.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Liza, I sense that I understand what you're getting at Liza.  I suppose if I was to offer an analogy it would be like a hospital visit after a terrible car wreck.

Initially, due to wounds incurred in the accident, the patient may need to spend some time being cared for in the ICU and then some time on bed rest before they are strong enough to get on their own two feet and begin rehabilitation.  

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

hm.. i handle my hurt feelings different depending on what hurt me in the first place. i either talk, listen to music, draw, do a combination of the three, and then go out for a long walk. i walked 5-7 miles yesterday!

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Oh sweet Suni I agree - everything in the universe is much improved by a long walk!

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Recently, the Work of Byron Katie has really helped me with handling hurt feelings, especially her book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Chane Your Life. You can also find the 4 questions and the worksheet on her site:

http://thework.com/index.asp

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Suni when I read your post I get the sense of Hurt as a negative energy. You find ways of releasing it emotionally and physically. Walking helps release at the physical level. Crying which you mentioned in the last thread, is a wonderful emotional release. Talking can assist the intellect with clarification - also it's always wonderful to have a friend! Drawing and music can be wonder filled creative expression which can assist us to be lifted up again.

Kundan, thank you for sharing this link which you found helpful. I am looking forward to taking a look.
 

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

In deep gratitude to all those who are writing on this thread; and once again requesting forgiveness for chiming in without reading, but reading the energy of the thread, some musings:

When we are happy we accept and move on
When we are hurt we do not accept and stay in the hurt

What is hurt telling us?
What is happiness telling us?

How are we handling happiness
How are we handling hurt?

In loving light
Meenakshi

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Meenakshi, I'm hearing you say - 'be in touch'
 
love

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Thank you for your understanding Hummingbird.
Bob, something like that:)

Have a great week!

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Liza, I am humbled in deep admiration for the way you have hung in there throughout this discussion. Your courage, your honesty, your depth and your passion are remarkable. 

Thanks, it is a privilege to be here conversing with you, and with Bob, Anna, Gien, angelmoon, Kundan and everyone else who has come to shed wisdom and light on a challenging topic.

Love,

Nicole

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Thank you Nicole.
 It was a growing/listening/connecting experience for me, that I probably did not know I needed it, but got it:) I'm humbled and thankful too.

Came in thinking one thing came out thinking another! I think I wrote something about that on my blog somewhere…LOL

Hope you all have a great week. Great question! Solutions are cool;)
Glad to know you all a bit better.

Liza

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

The connecting we experience in our discussions is very precious.

I have been trying to remember feeling hurt as a child, then a teenager, young adult and more recently… Do others have such memories and if so, how have they evolved?
 
 

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

I always learn so much from Gaia discussion, Liza. This is such a great site. It is awesome getting to know each other better.

Anna, I can remember feeling hurt at a number of points in my life. The way I perceive my past keeps changing with new experiences. For example since knowing Robert my experiences previously of love are being totally transformed into blessed stepping stones to the place of love and light I now share with him. In fact, everything has led me to this place, and I am deeply grateful.

Love,

Nicole

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from domination of outside conditions. Robert Lewis Stevenson
I just received this in my mailbox from Kathy.

While that is true to a degree. I also say that for all to be freed from dominion from outside conditions then all would have to stand in unity from doing harm or causing harm to another or blindly going along with it. That is what I would call decency and protecting Human rights. Human rights belong to everyone, unless they are criminals. If you go along with criminal activity then you are no better then they are.
Cruelty should not be tolerated by ANYONE in the world.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Wishing you joyous journeys, Nicole
Liza, let's hold that beautiful vision of a world of peaceful, loving beings

love

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Oops, Liza, I tried to post that quote by Robert L. Stevenson in THIS thread yesterday, but it kept coming up in a red color, not copying well, so I deleted it.  Am amazed that it would pop over to your mailbox, as there was no intention other than trying to delete it! 

…all would have to stand in unity from doing harm or causing harm to another

Yes, taking responsibility for ending acts of harm and applying the Golden Rule to all beings, including animals, would eradicate domination in outside conditions.  Many leaders like Gandhi and M.L. King have inspired a collective vision of ahimsa (non violence) and other noble actions to lift the human condition.  What we can do personally is continue to reflect on and cultivate those virtues within ourselves; then, all the individual, virtuous actions would become the norm in the collective condition. 

Liza, many have commented on your strength, and it's wonderful that you speak so clearly for these values of integrity.  Perceiving and honoring this vision is what many feel called to practice. 

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

It's all as it's meant to be dear Kathy!

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

“While that is true to a degree. I also say that for all to be freed from dominion from outside conditions then all would have to stand in unity from doing harm or causing harm to another or blindly going along with it.
 
I wonder, who is anyone of us to say what the entire world should or should not be?   I understand the longing; we'd probably all like the world to meet our idealistic expectations; but that doesn't seem to be the way life works.  Furthermore, who's to say that the world isn't exactly as it should be?  Who among us has a God's Eye View of the situation?

To me, it's cruel to oneself to even hold these expectations because it puts us in a position of powerlessness.  The reality is that changing the world may not even be possible.  It might not even be desirable.  Heck, combined, Jesus, Budhha, Moses, Krisna and the whole host of heavenly servants that have visited this planet have done little, if anything, to change it.  Human interactions today aren't that much different than 2000 years ago.  Same play, different stage. 

What these enlightened thinkers did accomplish, however, was to bring us thoughts and tools that would allow us to meet the world, as it is, and make changes within ourselves.  Maybe they did this because that's where we actually have the power to effect change; within ourselves.

Like Byron Katie, I've realized that I only have total control over a few things in life:

1.  I have control over my opinions
2.  I have control over which thoughts I give my attention to
3.  I have control over what I move away from
4.  I have control over what I move towards

Bryron Katie calls the things I actually have control over, “my business.”  Then, there's “your business,” the same 4 things you actually have control over.  Lastly, there's God's business.  God's business is everything else. 

Katie goes on to say that a sure way to live an unhappy life is to make other peoples business and God's business our business.  This isn't to say that we might not want to enter into discussions to share our views and influence others or to effect positive change within our spheres of influence; but in the end, what actually happens isn't our business.  What actually happens belongs to God. 

Liza writes, ”I also say that for all to be freed from dominion from outside conditions then all would have to stand in unity from doing harm or causing harm to another or blindly going along with it.”
 
It is possible that I'm misunderstanding what Liza means by this statement, but when I take it at face value it seems to say that I will not be freed from dominion from outside conditions until “all stand in unity from doing harm or causing harm to another…”

To me, this is a terribly punishing thought.  If I'd had to wait until 'all stood in unity from doing harm…' before I could be free of dominion from external conditions, I would never have freed myself in this lifetime and perhaps not in any lifetime.  I would have remained a slave forever.  Heck, more often than not, groups of like minded people can't get into a room and stand together much less an entire population.  Doesn't it make more sense to use the imperfections of the world to grow stronger; which, when properly viewed, is exactly what they'll assist us in doing? 

To me, one becomes freed from dominion from outside conditions when the inner eyes and inner ears open, leading to insight and understanding, and the external eyes take their rightful place as second fiddle. 

My first job, as I see it, is to establish myself in peace and live from that awareness.  Everything else is secondary.  Your job may be to anchor yourself in harmlessness and live and share from that reality.  While someone elses job may be to anchor themselves in pleasure and share that gift with the world. 

As our wonderful teacher Gandhi suggested, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

    

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Yes, Anna, I love the way “synchronicity” injects itself at every golden moment to affirm there's a higher order at work in its quirky and mysterious manifestations.

And speaking of a higher order… something I've been pondering and wanting to get a handle on, but it's just too vast to begin trying to express “in total”.  That's why I'm grateful for the many windows (creative disciplines) through which the one light (higher order) emanates and expresses. 

One can only hope to glimpse and absorb the “gist” of this higher order, until it seems not just a subjective viewpoint, but the true nature of reality.  Many disciplines aim at refining the instruments of perception, through a process of disengagement and reattunement.  It's like one detaches from the world, discovers the higher order within himself, then returns to the world seeing it reflected in both gross and fine layers. 

If the coarser, grosser impressions of the world impinge on one's senses too harshly, then one withdraws time and again to that place where the archetypes and principles of beauty dwell, discovering that those who convey such beauty exist within lokas (joyful realms) and are only too happy to commune and share in it with us.  This world is such a loka, too…and then, it's not…much depends on one's choice of attention.

Just thought of something Swami Satchidananda used to say to illustrate some of this:  “First, you were FINE.  Then, you began to DE-fine.  Now, you must RE-fine.”

By DE-fine, he meant becoming too literal, using too much of the linear left brain, too much naming, defining, and separating the forms in the phenomenal world. 

By RE-fine, he meant….[Websters]:
Refine:  to reduce to a pure state; to free from moral imperfection; to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing; to free from what is coarse, vulgar, or uncouth; to become pure or perfected; to make improvements by introducing subtleties or distinctions; elevate.   

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Hi Bob,
Let me ask you a question. If you knew someone was doing something intentionally hurtful to another person what would you do? Would you go along with it based on what they said? If you knew someone was breaking the law would you sit there and go along with them even if they were your friend?

Where you are coming from is not where I am coming from.
What I am saying is that people judge without knowing. Gossip without thinking the harm it can cause another person.

Not everything I say is about you, just as not every thing you say is about me, sometimes the things I say come from experience and yes I have my opinion and stand behind what I feel about certain things. I had thought we made some headway in coming to know who I am. I stand up for what I believe in and if that comes across as harsh to you or any of you for that matter it is because I am seeing something that maybe you don't, but that does not mean it is any less valid.

Lastly Just because someone sends something to me does not mean it is mine. I know who I am and I am honest and forthright. If that makes some of you feel uncomfortable then I am sorry, but I am who I am. I have done much more work in my life and have a lot more strength because of who I am. I am a kindhearted loving spirit who has put loving actions behind them.

I am not here to hurt anyone and that IS my intention.
I am not a religion based person of any order. This discussion is open to any belief system right?

Then explain to a child who has been beaten that she should heal from within. Explain to a woman who has been raped well it's only outside experiences……you should be at peace with the world. Explain to someone why people are being cruel to them when they have done nothing wrong and are kind sweet people?
Because they are not strong enough? How could anyone be strong enough for something like that? I think the only thing that is coming across here that has expectation is the philosophy that every single person is going to walk around peacefully while there is injustice in this world…

Explain to animals why they are abandoned and abused…..explain to our planet why we continue to poison her, rip her to shreds and think she will heal and sustain us.

Gaia find inner peace and heal, be at peace with yourself because you have done nothing wrong, even though your being treated so crappy keep on giving. Because not only are we going to destroy you we will accompany you on the journey! We'll even destroy each other, been doing it for years anyway what difference does it make?

Who am I to say anything? Someone who see's where we are going as a race, but where I am going as a person is in the opposite direction. So go ahead and judge me. I do have the peace of mind to know one thing that I will do what I believe is right whether anyone else agrees or not.

Bob you can be freed as a person, but if your in negative circumstances like I am and have done everything you can to change that fact, (want to be somewhere your heart and soul can flourish), even financially with no support then perhaps your opinion would change. And no there are somethings in life you can never consent to even if you have to live around such negativity. You have not lived my life nor I yours. I am not judging you here. Yet it certainly feel like I am being judged. I am a passionate person this is who I am.

I am the change and yes I do speak what I feel honestly without being hurtful to others.

I leave you with this quote;

“Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices, but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills the duty to express the results of his thought in clear form.”

Albert Einstein

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Liza, you are a passionate and caring person. I hear you saying, 'I am true to self'!

We walk together here, sharing the essence and celebrating uniquenesses.

love

 

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Hi Liza,

Please don't take anything I write personally.  It's not meant to be personal.  It's thoughts we are discussing here, not personalties.  What's beautiful about these forums is that we get to explore and share a wide range of thoughts amongst a diverse group of people. 

With regard to the 'what ifs' you've presented; I don't deal with what ifs because what ifs aren't what is.  (that's a silly looking sentence isn't it!)  My way of being in the world is to 'respond to what occurs, as it occurs.'  I don't operate this way because I'm some enlightened guru or teacher; I operate this way because I've found that it is what works best for me. 

By the way Liza, there's nothing you've written here that I've taken to be harsh.  Nor do I hold any harsh judgments towards you.  In fact, if I remember correctly, I think I've written that I sense you to be sweet, caring, sensitive and talented person.  I think of you in the highest terms.

Truly, I understand your discontent with the cruelty you see in the world and I applaud your decision to pusue a 'non violent' exsistence.   My intent in sharing here is to offer the thoughts, ideas and tools that have enabled me to bring my own heart and mind to peace.  

Holding you in appreciation
  

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

This is a Post by Debyemm that I think is helpful to focus on
———————————————————————–

Anger is resistance to what is, to reality.

 Anger is the frustrated child in me that wants something
and feels it is being withheld from them. 

 By growing “up”, I can integrate to an intentional and conscious surrender to life.

  The anger will subside because I’m not fighting with what my life is anymore.

 One can see that something is not as beneficial as it could be
and take steps to change that situation, to shift that situation,
 so that it can more closely resembles what the ideal vision is,
without being angry about it.

  Anger is victimhood.

 It is saying I am not in control, either of myself
or of what is happening around me. 

Of course, I’m not in “control” of what is happening around me. 

 It is ridiculous to believe that I could be. 
 It is a big world, I am a tiny bit of individualization in that world. 

 The world has so many other individualizations,
waves and currents and winds blowing through it,

 on the macro scale;
 that I am neither meant to control it
 nor do I initiate any of that aspect of my experience at being “alive”.

  My only role in that macro aspect is my response to it
and I am always free to respond to it in a way of my choosing. 

 I “should” be in control of myself.  The reality is, sometimes I am not.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Thank you for your thought full heartresponse Bob

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Big Smiles Torchholder. 

“I should be in control of myself.  The reality is, sometimes I am not.” 

Your words brought a smile to my heart.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Oh, Torchholder,

How sweet to put me here.  I've meant to write something for it.  This is not what I would have put here.  It is more like Anger.  But hurt feelings can be manifested as Anger, especially in denial that we feel “hurt”. 

Thanks to KES for alerting me.  I am doing the NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month.  The piece this quote is from, came like channeled writing.  I would call it my higher self.  Something that emerges from deep within.

I just wanted to acknowledge this kindness.  Really, I'm touched. 

The whole piece is in my Living Metaphysics group under the name of a book I am writing - Cloudy with a Chance of Thunderstorms.

Peace & Blessings -
Deb

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Thank you Hummingbird.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Tashi Delek everyone and Robert-la and Liza-la,

Peace
sometimes these discussions become heated!
when that happens, it's good to breath in the sacred
feel deep love flow into us, stir us and remind ourselves
that we are all moving together towards a common vision

While that is true to a degree. I also say that for all to be freed from dominion from outside conditions then all would have to stand in unity from doing harm or causing harm to another or blindly going along with it.

This is non other than a form of Buddhism's Bodhisattva's vow
The Bodhisattva's messianic vow to save all sentient beings 
who will not stop until exhausting the sea of suffering, isn't it?

The bodhisattva knows that for beings to be truly saved
they must save themselves
they must ultimately bring awareness to themselves
so that they will stop bringing suffering
both to themselves and to others

And if ALL suffering is going to come to an end
that certainly would mean
all beings would need to cease bringing suffering
isn't it?

If we aspire to this high, nay, impossible ideal in our daily life
then we bring ourselves up
to the highest level of compassion possible

Bob,

The countless Bodhisattva's who've manifested
have done amazing work in the world
teaching others the way
or rather, pointing them in the direction
that resonates with that deep love and awareness within
to opening their hearts

In a sense, it's the work you aspire to as well

I think you and Liza speak some deep truths
bringing your own experiences into it

These discussions are very deep and very meaningful
that's why they strike a chord that resonates so deeply with us
and the more meaningful they are to us
the more passionate we engage with others

You know you are getting to the heart of the matter
when it starts getting heated!

Suffering exists because of our own ignorance
individually and collectively

The reality is that there is a great deal of suffering in the world
we all know this

At any one time
a great percentage of the human population
act based on ignorance
and these actions propagate out into the world
bringing further suffering, further obscuration

That suffering creates fear
and fear makes us feel defensive
and take protective measures against others
makes us take steps to avert others
whether it is done passively or aggressively
shuts down our communications with others
creates mistrust amongst beings
creates distance and alienation

that fear is a teacher
teaching us more of the same emotions
passing it down to our children
from one generation to the next

So the great amount of ignorance
has a karmic tendency to create
approximately the same amount of ignorance
so if the majority of the world is filled with ignorance
then then majority of the next generation
is also likely to be filled with ignorance

The light of awareness is like a fragile candle flame
caught in the midst of the storm of ignorance and suffering
At any moment, it can be so easily extinguished

Even though we know this to be the case
nevertheless, we continue with our aspiration
to liberate all beings
from the ignorance which brings about all the suffering

Without having this impossible aspiration
the winds of ignorance would extinguish
what little compassion there is in the world

If one has the flame of awareness lit
it is then one's responsibility to protect it
and light the flame of awareness of others
so that compassion and love
can at least maintain a presence in the world
that is what both you and Liza are doing
and we are all grateful that you grace us
with your genuine expressions

Liza,

I don't think Bob is trying to be nilhistic
it may come across that way
but I'm sure Bob would never condone suffering
…none of us would

His Holiness the Dalia Lama was once asked about violence
and if it was justified
to which he responded that in some cases it is

If one must defend one's life or the life of a loved one
one will
but one does so still with compassion
and not with malice

We must protect ourselves
otherwise, how can we continue to do our work in the world?

Those acting out of suffering
do so out of a deep sense of lack
That does not condone or excuse their actions
but it does show
that suffering within
is the source of suffering without
One hurts others
to the extent to which one has been hurt

This view of seeing those who seek to injure us
helps us to generate compassion for that being
who brings suffering to others
Without having compassion for that being
we simply propagate the hurt in an endless cycle

We fight poison arrows with love
but if a being is too far gone
and their ignorance so deep
that they can only express suffering
the best we can do is protect ourselves from them

We must protect ourselves
we must protect others
but carrying malice and unforgiveness
against those who've done us harm
extolls a high price to our own path towards liberation

It is for us to learn to let go
of the pain that others have inflicted upon us
and the anger and retribution as well
That could be a very long lesson
but it is one that will bring us great wisdom and peace

When I read Bob,
I see that perhaps what he is saying
is that we can only change ourselves
and not anyone else

If we take responsible for our own personal transformation
and it works
and we reduce the suffering we bring to ourselves and others
then we have that insight that we can share with others

We teach by example
When we have genuine wisdom that opens the heart to compassion
it does not hide
it manifests in our words and deeds

We can only share our insights as an offering
we cannot force anyone else to adopt it
If the student is ready
the teacher will appear
If the mind is open and receptive
wisdom will pour in
If not, no change can occur

The only thing any of us can do
is make an offering to anyone else
and if they are ready and resonate
they may receive something
if they aren't ready
they cannot receive anything

Many Blessings

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Beautifully said Gien …and you would be quite correct.  I do not condone cruelty nor am I immune to the great suffering taking place on the planet at this time.  However, like many others, I have learned that if I am to do my part in ending this journey of suffering, I must end the suffering within myself first.  




  

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

I guess this went from a discussion of how we deal with hurt feelings to something else here…so to get back on track

I do the things for myself that I need to do. I am a self taught artist and that is healing for me. I create positive and beauty. I love nature very much so and I find a great amount of gratitude and appreciation when I am in peaceful and beautiful settings. I do talk to animals and they do talk to me:) I find it is easier for me to tap into inspiration when surround by uplifting things. I work well under those circumstances
I appreciate people who are kind and supportive and prefer to have as many positives as I can.
I do for myself the best that I can to live a fuller and enriched life. I appreciate inner beauty in all living beings.
So for me healing is having those things in life that do make a difference to me Today and personally and enrich my life on a daily bases. I absolutely cherish having privacy and that brings much more gratitude and appreciation to me then words can describe. No I am not always in control of myself. I am still human.
I am responsible for myself and my well being. I do positive things for myself and my own future. I understand that by doing positive things for myself I am also contributing to the healing factor.

Gien that is beautifully said.

I see your heartfelt reply Bob and I do hope you have found the empowerment within that brings peace to your spirit.

So I'm off this discussion and leave it to you all for the rest of your journey. Blessed be

Walk in Beauty.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

Your flute plays the exact notes of my pain
 
Your flute plays the exact notes of my pain.
It toys with me.
Where did you learn such stealth,
such subtle wounding, Kan?
The arrows in my breast
burn even in rain and wind.
Wasted moments pulse around me,
wishes and desires, departing happiness—
Master, my soul scorches.
I think you can see its heat in my eyes,
its intensity and cruelty. So let me drown
in the cool and consoling Yamuna,
or slake my desire in your cool,
consoling, changing-moon face.
It's the face I'll see in death.
Here's my wish and pledge:
that that same moon will spill its white pollen
down through the roof of flowers
into the grove, where I'll consecrate my life
to it forever, and be its flute-breath,
the perfume that hangs upon the air,
making all the young girls melancholy.
That's my prayer.

Oh, the two of you, way out of earshot.
If you look back you'll see, Bhanu,
warming herself at the weak embers of the past.

Re: Open Windows. How do I handle my hurt feelings - 3

“That is why we hear of great saints and yogis in the wilderness befriended by wild animals. They did so by honoring the sacred presence in all beings, not by regarding themselves as more enlightened or better than other creatures.”

I can say that animals have been a source of positive for me since I was a little girl. Today my husband is still amazed at my ability. To me it is a natural state of being.

I would never make a claim that I am a guru or that I have any “magical” power or that it is, what is that word? when one mind can communicate with another. (forgive me it is early) Nor am I saying that sometimes I do not get pictures in my head, but I do not go by that. With that said it does not mean I do not see a very simple spirituality and teaching that they have to offer.

What you see is what you get with animals. They do not wear masks and their truth is right there where you can see it. They live in an awareness of their environment and of the people who are around them. Animals never strike out unless they are frightened or threatened in some way. They do not walk around trying to hurt people and that is a rule of nature. Most animals who have been hurt will try to flee. They have their own language to convey their emotions.

I personally feel that people who do have the ability to communicate with animals were born with their primitive instincts and intuition intact. They have an awareness that many human beings have lost or it has been bred out of us and society with its hustle and bustle supporting the desensitization of man. Which goes AWAY from nature. Had we been more sensitive to this planet and the creatures on it we would be more respectful of co-existing with wildlife rather then conquer and containment.

I have my own philosophies which in my own life have proved true. I posted recently on my blog somewhere about a colony of bumblebee's who moved onto my property and I believe because of their awareness of our living space chose to make their hive a safe distance away, yet still be close enough to be comfortable. I planted a pollinator garden because of my concern for them. We also have a colony of yellow jackets who live in our driveway. We do not bother them, nor they us. Co-exist.

I have since gone onto educating myself more about bee's and honeybee's. I have had some incredible experiences this year and to me that is a blessing.

I believe Gaia is a living being. I believe in some way the gentle and honest person that I am is being nurtured by Gaia. I believe just as every living thing on this planet has awareness so does Gaia. We think we live on a thing, I believe we live on a Being. In my heart I will always respect her for the kindness, light and truth she has brought to me in my life. For me miracles are just simple and beautiful everyday experiences I have with nature and animals. It's uncomplicated.

I have lived very quietly about this aspect of my persona. Because I was not sure if anyone would ever believe me. I believe me:) LOL

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I am so glad to hear you are nurturing bees, because it is scary how they have been disappearing in droves. Our ecosystem is becoming increasingly frail. We have become so out of touch with  Gaia, her heartbeat, her breath, so if there are any who retain that connection, they must perforce feel odd, instead of knowing they are more in tune with reality.

You are very special!

Hugs,

Nicole

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Liza : I have lived very quietly about this aspect of my persona. Because I was not sure if anyone would ever believe me.

I believe you.. and you are not alone.

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Thank you Bhatta & Nicole.

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appreciation of the gentle flow of love in our thread responding to love and awareness of Gaia, our mother. Hugs

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“Do not suppress it - that would hurt you inside. Do not express it - this would not only hurt you inside, it would cause ripples in your surroundings. What you do is transform it.”

“Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound.”
 
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.”

 Peace Pilgrim

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I believe you too dear Liza.  You are a very special person my friend.  If more of the humans on our Mother Gaia knew what you know we would not be facing the environmental dangers we face today.

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Thank you Jyoti. I hope all is well with you today.

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Is there any 'cure' for hurt other than love
can hurt manifest if the expectation was any other than love
if love is not perceived as coming from without
it always be found within

in time it can be found everywhere

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To My Way of Thinking, the only Way to overcome
 Hurt and Anger is to Overcome Your Self. 

 When One becomes Selfless, Looks at Themself,
Standing Outside Themselves,
 from the Point of View of Wisdom, then Hurt
 is merely just another one of Passing feelings,
 Like hunger, pain, thirst, or desire.

We can rise above all of this, and float in the Clouds of All Creation.

The Price of Becoming a Mystic is Giving Up the Self.

A Man or Woman who can Conquer Themselves are already Masters.

Still, the Large Majority of Us Struggle with Our Feelings.

Nothing Easy is Good, Nothing Good is Easy.

Namaste, Torchholder

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Dear Torchholder, the 'easy way' is to be tuned into the heart - love must flow then - and love is all that's needed

love

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Here's my hurt feelings:  I grew up under the shadow of my sister that the world preferred over me.  I accepted that because I saw how much more wonderful she was compared to me.  We have a favorite aunt that we visited much when we were children.  I always knew she loved me less.  Cut to now, I'm grown up with my own child.  Hurt feelings put away.  Well, through the years this aunt has said nasty things to me that I shrugged away because she was the favorite aunt.  (Stuff like - to my prospective husband - “Run while you still can.” and when my father, her brother was going through trying time, “Your father is a loser.”  Well, the thing that broke me down is when I took my own child to her house for a party, she said, “Wow, her face has changed.  Now she looks ugly, just like her mother.”  Well, I had been pretty much stoic around her, but that just made me break down in tears.  The next time I saw her, she apologized and said she'd been feeling hurt every since that day.  (So, now SHE”S the one with hurt feelings.)  I feel like she's hurt my feelings one too many times.  And deeper, she's said things that were so hurtful, so how could I believe she loves me?  I see her much less these days, and her health is declining.  Still, every time I think of that day when she said that my child and I are ugly, I cry.  How do I get over it?

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I just want to offer you some love here. People tell us many things through out our lives that are not true. There is never an excuse for an “elder” to be hurtful. But look at where it is coming from as well. I guess I always felt that beauty is only skin deep. Because its really what is inside that counts and what shines. I had some real hurts from my past too. Aside from my living circumstances I was teased about my looks so badly when I was a child that I had a complex for awhile I used to cry all the time the children were very cruel. I always thought I was ugly. I really believe that society has done a real injustice to women and what the concept of beauty is. It did not matter if it was not true…after awhile if many tell you the same thing you begin to believe it and it changes you forever.

While those who have hurt you are responsible for how they have changed you, please do not believe them. Because really to me (I'm one person here so that's a start right?) it never mattered what a person looked like and I never teased anybody about that kind of stuff. EVER

I'm sorry you were changed forever because of someone's stupidity/thoughtlessness and cruelty. It is they who make themselves ugly, not you dear. Do whatever you feel you need to do for yourself. If your Aunt is truly sorry for what she has done then she should be kinder to you from now on. If she has hurt you too many times then your lack of faith and trust in her is justified. As she is not taking responsibility for her mouth!

Once you know in your heart it is not really true you'll find it much easier to leave it behind you.

I hope your pain is not perpetuated by anyone around you ever again and that you have time and a chance in life to heal those wounds and really see who you are inside.  If we all told each other the truth there would be a lot less hurt and sadness in this world. Women would not feel the way they do about themselves.
We really need to be more supportive and less judgmental about each other as women.

I hope this makes sense and that it brings you some comfort.
Me I'm stubborn, once I realize something is not true I stop listening:) And think “what an idiot” which I wont take responsibility for:)LOL

Much love to you. Be your own special self……The Source does not make mistakes.
Liza

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safecracker, when Liza said: “I just want to offer you some love here.” What a beautiful handling you have given. It is truly what the world needs more of. I have to work on it and embrace all of what she told you. People will do three things when catagorizing behavior… dominate, nullify or expand.  Thanks for expanding us here.

HummingBird: “Is there any 'cure' for hurt other than love…” just in time when we need this to help as a buffer for any pain. 

Kundan: “This need not be. This is not real. I be still and listen to the Voice of God. I be Still and look within into the Sight of God. I be still and feel the Space of God.” Thanks for this beautiful prayer!

Thank you all for helping to ease any hurt …

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This thread is getting long and therefore slow for some to open. In consideration of this I will be starting a new thread in a few hours as a continuation of this thread. Thank you for all these gifts of wondrous posts and sharing

love

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Thank you Kathy. I just think its really sad that people get “over looked” because others have stars in their eyes, meantime they should have the opportunity to be loved and shine too.  I have no siblings or family connections to speak of, but I am aware of how “sibling rivalry” can be brought into our adult life and effect our relationships. Creating jealousy a feelings of inadequacy. These feelings do not come from no where, they came from the people who created the problem…..not always easy to look at and see that the very people who claimed they loved you hurt you the most when you were vulnerable as a child.
I feel that way too sometimes in my own life today when I see someone else getting more attention then I am. Especially with my art work because that my inside self and my inner beauty. It was over looked in my childhood. I had to teach myself later on in life to do what my heart needed. That in of itself was a milestone, one that I actually had to pick up myself and lay down the path on my own. Still I was determined to see this side of myself that lay buried for a long time.
We all want to be noticed for our positive qualities. And really it's not about ego, its about our spirit shining that wants and needs to be seen. Maybe something that was over looked and unsupported in our childhood comes into being in adulthood to be healed.

Every single being on this planet has something beautiful and special inside to show the world.
Hummingbird: “The only cure for hurt is love and I believe that”:)

I love Wolves.

Thx Liza

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Liza, I've been off and on on Gaia this month; but your gentle energy in these threads has been like a beacon…and I hope to have time to savor each post of all those who posted, next month.

But for now, this caught my eye:
“We all want to be noticed for our positive qualities. And really it's not about ego, its about our spirit shining that wants and needs to be seen. Maybe something that was over looked and unsupported in our childhood comes into being in adulthood to be healed.”

Very true. That need to see ourselves reflected in another, is the yearning of connection.

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Liza, Meenakshi, thank you, I'll carry your posts over to the next thread as this thread is getting long and slow.

Our discussion continues here -