Grief Over Roadkill?

I cannot seem to let go of my grief over roadkills I saw on my way home from a meditation class last night.  It's not like that I saw dead animals on the road for the first time. 

But this time, the feelings were so intense I felt an urge to stop my car and pick up those lifeless creatures and bury them somewhere safe.  I couldn't bear to imagine cars running over their bodies over and over again.

So why do feel so sad, on the verge of tears…even now.  I mean I know I am sensitive but this is a bit strange.  Is my meditation affecting me this way?  I have read about changes that occur within us when we meditate.  I am curious to learn if any meditative practice has affected anyone in some profound, unusual way….

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Hi Lahn

Road kill can seem so destructive and senseless, and I think it challenges the way we live our lives - the fast pace, sometimes couldn't care “race” that we are a part of.  The contrast between the meditation and death were probably being shown to you,  2 sides of our lives, birth of new creativity/spirituality and death/disintigration.  You maybe coming into deeper understanding and knowing and sometimes it takes a good while to adjust, we get to feel everything deeper and stronger.  We see beauty more, but we also see the other side of life more intensely and recognise the contrast, the yin and yang of everything.  Eventually the pendulum of emotion ceases to swings less and we gain equilibrium…

Hope you are feeling less sad today

Love to you
Tai

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Yes, your human…and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  If they do, it's just their way of trying to compensate the stressed out life they are anguishing from or nauseated with, and so jealous of not being in the same frame of mind as you are.

I had seen a man televised on some tv. program a few years back, that actually picks up “road kill,” and makes it his life effort to bury these loving creatures, and prays over their souls once he has placed them in the ground from a 'road kill'…..swear!    It brought a tear to my, and made me feel so unworthy when I saw this, and at the same time - gave me a bump in the ol' keister to now realize something I had so misplaced when it comes to “breathing properly”.

Appreciation of Inhalation - is everything:-))
Om…..

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Lahn,  I can feel your pain, and love your caring heart.

Roadkill is God's way of telling us, that we are moving faster than the natural pace of life we are called to lead.  

Roadkill is a symbol of our arrogance, heartlessness, and an indication of how far beyond being truly human we have gone.

Let's all agree to trust the compassion we feel… and be constantly aware of all life around us, and that it is precious.

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Hi Lahn,

I think that what you are experiencing is very normal, especially because you are working on your internal world in meditation class. You are right, quite often this kind of work (which involves work on many levels) will lead to profound changes. Things in your life that maybe you did not notice as much before, seemed mundane to your ‘old eyes’ now you notice, and have an impact on you. Have they changed? No, of course, it is your awareness that has. Your heart-mind is opening in a new way, and the compassion you feel for the world around you, as you move through meditations, will be felt in deeper and deeper ways. Beautiful isn’t it?

As painful as it might be to experience this – it is a beautiful thing! All of this is part of a process of becoming – there are so many names for it, I hesitate to name it! I have had similar experiences –you can’t experience that kind of change, letting go of the veil so to speak, without some measure of growing pain. The intensity of your experience reminds me so much of things that happened to me early on in my meditation practise. You do feel sad (and the ‘you’ here I mean is general). I felt sad for a long, long time because I started to realize in a very real, practical and actual way how far I had drifted from the center of myself and knowing how integrated I was with the universe around me (not in just intellectual terms but in practical terms as well). I started to recognize myself in other people, other things, animals, the wind, everything, and their pain, their loss, became what I felt. There was a lot of inner turmoil that I had to reconcile with – meet those thousands of monkeys running around in my head face to face, help them to settle down and have tea. The other aspect of meditation is learning how to sit with the changes in sensitivity and awareness that you are experiencing and let go. It takes courage to sit when everything around you seems to be affecting you differently… I believe that with time, and the commitment that it feels to me that you have (going to meditation class in the first place) you will learn a great deal during this period, and then some! In the end – tears are cleansing. Be brave!

Big hugs to you!
Xo Leigh-Anne

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

I can relate but I try not to. I live in the country and see a LOT of roadkill. I don't bury as I feel the creatures should go back to nature.

I feel you have to keep a balance. I know I kill thousands of dust mites daily. I can not help it. I also see all the bugs on my car. I try not to cry for them or else I would loss control.

I believe the reason it had such an impact on you is that you took an action that was out of the ordinary. It was not part of your normal routine. And while you were dealing with it you were incredibility present. That had to make an impression.

My wife says that she understands that the body is an empty shell and that the spirit has already left it. She would feel worst if the animal were still alive.

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Having the appropriate emotion with what is happening in the moment is very sane.  Something in nature that happens like this it is better if they don't have to suffer, and yes the energy form that is spirit, does pick up a new baby animal body.  It would be more of a mis-emotion not to have tears.  Thanks for sharing your compassion.  It transcends to your art. Hugs

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Great to read of the sensitivity to this wonderful dynamic of life.  In a cycle of life it goes creation, survival, destroy, not creating and the energy picks up again.  The loss is from feeling other losses and that should be recognized and acknowledged seeing things as they are and looking into the goals and dreams of future.  It is such a lesson for a young person like you to have the compassion correctly placed.  Peace and love to you as you move through your grief.  Tears are a very cleansing aspect of pain… allow that cleansing and do take vitamin C and B1 while you are in grief.  Hugs.

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

The scale of roadkill sickens me, and I am glad that you have all shared your thoughts. I feel that it is one of the “secret” wrongs in the world, maybe it is not as bad as deliberate animal cruelty, but it is still wrong. A True civilisation would not allow it.

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

I thank you all for your sharing in my experience.  Your thoughts provided comfort and enlightenment to me.  I gained clearer perspective on changes happening within me.  And all warm hugs are most welcome!

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Hi Lahn,

I think maybe you are about my daughter's age. Her name is Tegan. She just got her certificate from Alvin Ailey. She will also be certified in Palates soon.

I just spent two days with Tegan. She is very very sensitive, and two dance teachers in the school tried to destroy her before her graduation recital. They couldn't destroy her. When I look at her, I see a miracle.

Being sensitive and living in this universe is not so good … everything eating and hurting everything else … and in the case of humans - mass murder, torture, humiliation, oppression - you name it.

Everything wants to live. Everything wants to have a good life. Everything wants to be special.

I once met a Buddha cat when I was about your age.  I was driving down the street, and Buddha cat was running across the road about 100 yards in front of me when a car hit Buddha cat and drove away. Suddenly all of time slowed down very much, and I could see Buddha cat try to get up but her back legs had been crushed. And Buddha cat lifted her entire front body up and looked up into the sky as if saying, “Do not let me die. Do not let this miracle pass from me!” And then she died.

So, Buddha cat was the only Zen master I have ever met, and the greatest master of them all - loving life as she did. I have never seen a greater love since.

There is great love in our meditative silences. There is great love in our witnessing. There is great love in our tears. There is great love in our heart aches and wounds.

Thank you for allowing me a glimpse of you, Buddha girl.

ST

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

I wrote this post Monday morning and that night, my brother in law died, taking his own life.  My heart and soul ache.  Yes, ST…I feel at times I am just too sensitive for this world.  However, your words, everyone here and others on Gaia showed me compassion like I never experienced before.  I am truly, deeply touched and grateful to all of you.  Knowing there are people like yourselves gives me great comfort…like a hand holding my hand, a warm embrace, a light illuminating dark night of my soul.

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Hi Lahn,

I never really know what to say when someone says someone significant in their life died in some way …

I don't really know what suicide is because it seems that most people eventually give up on themselves in despair and slowly kill themselves in some way … maybe the real suicide rate is about 98% …

We are all delicate and fragile beings.

Tell your brother-in-law to go to the greater of the two lights.

A tear and a bow,

ST

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Blessing to you and your family Lahn. I hope the pain of his passing will lessen for you with time. I am happy that you have people around you here that you can draw comfort from during this difficult time.

Much love to you,
Leigh-Anne xo

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Hugs and light blessings to you Lahn and to your family - it is good to send light to recently departed souls and to let them know through prayer that they are acknowledged and loved still…
Tai

Re: Grief Over Roadkill?

Shedding light to all on Now I Can See Over The Moon in the physical and the spiritual universe. namasté