On My Own

I have occasionally tried to find a spiritual teacher, a mentor I'd admire and respect, but no dice. I recently tried again, spending time at a nearby zendo but I was again unimpressed and actually horrified.  LOL

So … I finally realized I am my own master. I am a master. :O)  And that if I am to enter into sangha, it shall be one I create. But I am very much a loner.

When I was a Christian, I’d walk into a church and never find Christ. As a Buddhist, I’ve walked into temples and centers and never found Buddha. Just being honest here.

What about you? Has your path been principally a social one with a teacher(s) or have you been really on your own most of the time like me?

Mac    

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I never knew what religion I wanted to be when I grew up.  I read books  I found things in each one and a lot had the common denominator of seeking spirituality, infinity, God, survival and different moral codes to be happy.   I observed that both Jewish and Christian would get to their goals and did much better than someone without any belief in the supreme being.

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i drove out to the zen center today
i did not go inside
instead
i walked along the path that lead into the forest
found myself a mid sized rock
i sat
and listened
and realized that there is no need for me to find others who are “like minded”
i see “like minded” all around
and i drove along the coast home…

i spent alot of time talking about finding people to practice with… to bounce ideas off of, discuss certain scriptures, koans, or even poems…
i realized that it wouldn't give me what i was really after…
a sense of interconnectedness…
it might create unwholesome feelings in me…

kes, in your observations, what key information did you encounter which showed you that you were on the right path? you mentioned a lot of different mediums, so i am curious about your journey, if you don't mind delving deeper…?

maybe it lives in a zendo, temple, or center…
maybe not…
but i have been alone this far… gathering/ practicing what i've learned, revising and reviewing, adopting and discarding, alone… i share with others when they show interest and i say nothing when other things take precedent…
and i feel good about what i've learned (in my belly)
so here i go…

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kes, in your observations, what key information did you encounter which showed you that you were on the right path? you mentioned a lot of different mediums, so i am curious about your journey, if you don't mind delving deeper…?

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I grew up spiritually frustrated because my dad is a very dogmatic atheist but I've always had an awareness that there is something more than the material world in the universe.  When I asked a girl across the street to teach me her family's Catholicism, my father found out and put an end to that exploration in no uncertain terms!  I had a few mystical experiences as a child which I stopped trying to share with my family as I couldn't take being ridiculed.

As a teenager I found plenty of friends to discuss religion with and no longer cared if Dad approved of my search or not.  My Jewish friend and I went to various churches, looking for something we never found.  Then my family moved overseas and I came in contact with a cult.  A Greek Orthodox friend and I went to their commune for a visit and came away very creeped out.  However, they gave me a Bible and after I read the gospels I reached the conclusion that no religion was following the teachings of Christ.

It's a long story, but somehow somewhere along the line I forgot that lesson and joined a “Christian” group because they seemed to have all the answers and so that I would have something “spiritual” to give my children.  It took me a long time to break free of that toxic religion.

I've returned to my teenage way of thinking, that organized religion is the problem.  Once people start trying to organize spirituality and spiritual experiences, once rules and dogma creep in, something vital is lost.  Now instead of looking to religious organizations I have found a way to proceed that involves connecting to nature, Mother Earth and reading books from many different paths.

I keep a little magnet on my refrigerator to remind me of the lesson learned:  “Believe those who seek the truth.  Doubt those who find it.”  I also like Buddha's “Doubt everything.  Find your own light.”

So, I agree with you, Mac.  You are your own master. I only started out on my own again the past fifteen years or so, and wound up a loner because the group I was with was not pleased, to put it mildly, with my new path.  However, I'm close to my husband, daughter, sister and sister-in-law so I don't feel too alone.  They respect my beliefs and experiences and I respect theirs, and that is the key.  I've learned that you don't have to all believe the same things to be supportive of each other.

~KES, My maternal grandparents were Protestants and were happy and loving and nurturing to me when I was a child.  That's what originally attracted me to Christianity.  My dad's side of the family were bitter atheists, financially successful but negative about just about everything.  In a way I understood, because they'd point out all the terrible things done in history in the name of religion.  But it seemed to me they had nothing better to offer than their materialism, which never meant much to me.  My mother never got involved in the controversy, I now think she was privately following her own spiritual path and refusing to get involved in the endless science vs. religion debate.

I have never heard of the Hymn of Asia - thanks for mentioning it - putting it on my wish list.  :)

openarms, I love what you wrote - that's how I feel out in the woods or walking on the beach…

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this morning, as I sat, I faced the wall - initially a sense of separation, me - here, the wall - there; me - thinking “is my chin tucked in? etc…” - always the sense of me v the world -  this is the breeding ground for 'On My Own'…

of course - aloneness is an ongoing manifestation of the human condition - whether we are physically alone or not is not the point -have you ever felt the lonliness of being subsumed in a huge crowd of people?

speaking truly from my heart, I can say, with total integrity, that the sense of 'own' diminishes and ultimately disappears when i enter true meditation - it may be (and usually is) only the briefest of moments within the parameters of my daily two sittings that this truth emerges; it is enough to sustain and enrich my reality as I move onto the next moment and stage of my continuum..

what I am trying to say is that i truly believe that my/our sense of personal identity is merest illusion that rides with us on our journey - I say this from a deeply held faith and experience of unity and non-separation occurring on a daily basis…

with bows,

@ ~)

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How serene siafu!  I remember looking at the wall a lot.  When I was learning how to study I had to put a bill taped upside down on the wall and confront it.  I chose my office rent because I needed a quick $1,200 and you reminded me that  that worked like magic.  That day I covered the rent… I know it was from meditating to the wall with something I needed for survival.

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~KES, what you said about “motion external” was interesting.  I wonder if verbal “hits” have the same effect on trying to move forward?  I'm so happy for you - all that weight lifted off you in a light bulb moment!

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Antony,

Yes, sitting, facing the wall - beautiful!

When I wrote of being on my own, I was not pointing to duality or aloneness as a source of duality. :O)

Mac

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My journey has been a “long and winding road” (props to the Beatles).
One of my first encounters with the Path was Ram Dass's classic “Be Here Now”.  A good deal of the book is spent on his relationship with his Guru.  So this was the model I was handed.  I searched for many years for a Master only to be frustrated at every turn.  I studied Zen in the writings of Alan Watts and D.T. Suzuki among others.  I spent a year or more studying Kundalini Yoga with the Yogi Bhajan crowd.  I was a fan of the TV show Kung-Fu so I studied martial arts and other things too numerous to mention.   While I took something away from each of these pursuits none took me where I wanted to go.  I had to keep coming back to the line in “Be Here Now”,
“When the student is ready the Master will appear”.

Then some 30 plus years ago I stumbled across this correspondence course that eventually led me to a relationship with a fully realized Master.  One of the first things he taught me was that what we seek is already attained.  It is always right here in the Present Moment.  What prevents us from always experiencing IT is identification with our un-disciplined mind and the habitual tendencies we perpetuate usually without any awareness of their existence let alone their undesirable influence.  Until these tendencies are eliminated we repeatedly fall into the same old limiting patterns that cause us grief.  Through my relationship with this Master these tendencies where almost continuously “thrown in my face” so I could not ignore them any more.  This is often the process that happens when we come into the company of or in relationship to a Living Master.  All the stuff we want to avoid is pushed to the fore giving us the opportunity to get rid of it.  This can be unpleasant at times.  But like going to the dentist to get that abscessed tooth pulled it's well worth it.

Now I'm not saying that one can't do it on one's own but,  from my experience, it's “easier” (maybe quicker is a better word) to get where you want to go when you have a guide who knows where the mine fields are.  The ironic thing is where you want to go is here, now.   And when you get there you notice that there are many different ways that all lead to the same place.   

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Ricosma,

How wonderful for you that you found the genuine article!  It must have been/is wonderful! :O)

Mac

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ricosoma, I agree that there are many different ways that all lead to the same place, and that it could very well be done more quickly with a guide who has one's best interests at heart.  But if one suffers from the kind of vulnerability and desperation for quick and “complete” answers that was me, it is too easy to fall into the wrong hands.  Just as there are dishonest psychotherapists there are also dishonest guides, and when someone needs help the most (and has never been encouraged to trust his or her own intuition) it is sad that he or she has no way of knowing for sure if the guide or master that crosses his or her path is going to be beneficial.

As Dave Matthews observes in two of his songs:

If you've got a question just get in line
'Cause my intentions are to make you mine
I'll take care of everything
All you need, friend, is right here
…..  And if you're lost I will find your way
Give me your soul, friend, it's okay
~ Dave Matthews  (Joy Ride)

The problem is someone will try to convince you
That they know the answer no matter the question
Be wary of those who believe in a neat little world
'Cause it's just ….. crazy -  you know that it is
~ Dave Matthews  (Eh Hee)

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Good ole' U.G. Krishnamurti summed it up well when he said:

A guru is one who tells you to throw away all the crutches that we have been made to believe are essential for our survival. The true guru tells you, “Throw them away, and don't replace them with the fancy crutches or even computerized crutches. You can walk; and if you fall, you will rise and walk again.” Such is the man whom we consider, or even tradition considers, to be the real guru, and not those who are selling those shoddy pieces of goods in the market place today. It is a business; it has become a holy business to people. I am not condemning anything. But as long as you depend upon somebody for solving your problems, so long you remain helpless. And this helplessness is exploited by the people who actually do not have the answers to your problems, but they give you some sort of a comforter. People are satisfied with these comforters and fall for this kind of thing, instead of dealing with the problems by themselves and for themselves.

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Lucid,

I love the IMAGO expression, “Problems are not solved. They are outgrown.”

Too often promises are made or egoistic elitist status offered when the reality/realities is/are very much different … and such things are common to the commercial marketplace of propaganda catering to magical thinking; all “promise lands” containing price tags and servitude.

Mac  

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Lucid, I appreciate and agree with the U.G. Krishnamurti quote!  That has been my experience:  “as long as you depend upon somebody for solving your problems, so long you remain helpless. And this helplessness is exploited by the people who actually do not have the answers to your problems.”   The exploitation of seekers bothers me a great deal.

Is  J. Krishnamurti a different person?  One thing I read in his book, This Light in Oneself, was a great help to me sorting things out.  I tend to learn best by reading and I think that I have better intuition where the messages in books are concerned.  That may not be so, but when I read a book that feels right I have the feeling that the writer at least doesn't have an agenda where I am concerned…

From ancient days, the priest has come between the seeker and what the seeker hopes to find.  The priest interprets; he becomes the man who knows, or thinks he knows, and the seeker is sidetracked, diverted, lost.
~ J. Krishnamurti  (This Light in Oneself)

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Kathy wrote, “I went on and became an Auditor (one who listens) and found a workable tech that I can apply and have others apply without telling them what to do to find truth.”

Kathy, would you be so kind as to elaborate on this?

Mac

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Thanks Mac ~ 

This explains my training as an auditor a bit more. What i like about it is not telling the other what to think… and the person being audited finds their own answers every time.   The code I use has 29 rules we follow to help the person receiving processing.

About at 3:45 in this YouTube explains the best of what i do on this inside my church video.  One of the primary reasons auditing works is because the strength of the auditor’s analytical mind is added to the person being helped analytical mind, and these two combined are greater than the single force of that unconscious mind that is troubling the individual I am helping remove unwanted emotion, psychosomatic illnesses, upsets in life, etc. 

Working together and applying precise technology, the person’s past charge (counter intention/counter postulates) in their mind can be released and/or erased.  Each time an area of charge is released the awareness increases. This increase of awareness builds from auditing session to auditing session and the person gradually becomes more and more aware of who he is, what has happened to him and what his true potentials and abilities are.  I hope this explains it for you.

Kathy

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Charetta wrote,

“i drove out to the zen center today
i did not go inside
instead
i walked along the path that lead into the forest
found myself a mid sized rock
i sat
and listened
and realized that there is no need for me to find others who are “like minded”
i see “like minded” all around
and i drove along the coast home…

i spent alot of time talking about finding people to practice with… to bounce ideas off of, discuss certain scriptures, koans, or even poems…
i realized that it wouldn't give me what i was really after…
a sense of interconnectedness…
it might create unwholesome feelings in me…”

Wonderful, Charetta! There is a real poetry in these words and I feel your being!

Mac

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Kathy wrote, ”The key for me is no one had to tell me; I could see truth on my own and have my own logic and rationality.”

Beautiful! 

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Barbara wrote, “I've returned to my teenage way of thinking, that organized religion is the problem.  Once people start trying to organize spirituality and spiritual experiences, once rules and dogma creep in, something vital is lost.”

It seems that way, doesn't it, Barbara? Maybe there are some exceptions … in the way of people - individuals within “spiritual” organizations. I don't know. But through experience to date, I must agree with you.

“I keep a little magnet on my refrigerator to remind me of the lesson learned:  'Believe those who seek the truth.  Doubt those who find it.' ”

Perfect!

Mac

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Mac, I agree there are wonderful individuals probably within every religious organization.  For the most part the organization seems to take on a life of its own, almost like a corporation.  And individuals unfortunately lose any direct experience of the divine…
~ Barbara

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I would love to read what you have on radical equality.   Thanks Sean–today has been a day of new inspiration.

“The source of the sound of a bell is both the bell and the mind … and emptiness (nothing having an inherent independent existence) - in short, everything as a non-thing with no identifiable point source. 
I am in you and you are in me as one non-thing.”  ~Mac

I am in awe of these words and embrace them.  All the best and thanks for the stretching out and gaining more understanding on this thread.  Much love, ~kes

Action and Motive

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~KES,
I'm still pondering the Leo Tolstoy quote.  Looked up esprit de corps, a synonym for morale, comradeship, and purpose, a common spirit existing in the members of a group and inspiring enthusiasm, devotion, and strong regard for the honor of a military group, yet often also used in common language to refer to any group that appears united and protective of its members … Where it does not exist, disorganization can prevail…

The quote seems to be saying (I may well be wrong) that a sense of purpose found in a group may be based on something an individual believes to be false, but still submits to it without complaint to protect the integrity of the group?

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Mac, What you said about the student/teacher relationship reminds me of a couple of quotes…

Creativity is a type of learning process where the teacher and pupil are located in the same individual.
~ Arthur Koestler

All genuine learning is active, not passive.  It involves the use of the mind, not just the memory.  It is a process of discovery, in which the student is the main agent, not the teacher.
~ Mortimer J. Adler

Come forth into the light of things.  Let Nature be your teacher.
~ William Wordsworth

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heyho,
my goal as i started seeking in my late teen years was the life. i felt separated of life and i was suffering about that fact. i just would not be alone. i saw the bad things in me which hindered me to life love. too much. i couldn'd handle this mountain. i was going crazy and i found the void as lonlyness and as great home, i found illuminations like you can read in many books, i found hell, i found magic and mystic pattern, times of beeing on my own …and people on that path who was helping me; friends, strangers in the night and teachers. one of them is an rinzai zen master with an traditonal training in japan. i still feel gratfulness in my heart, he is an bodhisattva for me.  i think to meat an teacher who is just right for you, is an gift of inestimable value…
since a few years i dont go to this tempel, because i am in the life what i wanted and where i can “use” my lots of experiences, as an bodhisattva in schooling. for me the truth/sense of (my) life is to heal all that suffering belong the big wheel by being in the middle of the world/market place and living together. truth is an common flow…love too

apart of that i am relative normal :o)

may all beings be happy!

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Mario,

May you be happy, healthy, comfortable, and successful!

Mac

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two teachers

a  silent yogi,

a man of about 80 years at the time.

long white beard, simple white clothes, small white chalk .

he holds a chalkboard,

through which he “talks”.  

i sat and sang … satsang

with him… kirtan to Shiva

and some point i made eye

contact with this man

and all thoughts, all time, all everything

was pierced with stillness.

even still

in that room with perhaps

two hundred others

chanting…

my good friend

says to me

some time later

“you must meet my teacher”

so i wrote this teacher

a letter -  to Bhutan

and he replied - happy to meet me.

he came to the island where i live

and with the translator

he said

“ah - it's you”.

my heart was at ease.

he said

“if you follow this path, your life will be destroyed”.

i jumped in.

he said

“you must find your own way”.

….

for me,

there is the heart connection

of a lineage…

and that connection is

the blessing of the lineage:

the blessing of  bare essence

stripped of dogma and ritual.

i do not see my teacher often.

and i do not perform practices

in tibetan.

i do not miss him

because he is always there…

by his very nature

pointing out the very nature

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~ arpita

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arpita, through your words, the moon shows her beautiful face.

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:O)

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arpita, I love your poetic way of expressing yourself.  When you wrote “and some point i made eye contact with this man and all thoughts, all time, all everything was pierced with stillness” it made me realize that I've never had that feeling with a human before, but have felt it intensely with animals - two deer, a manatee, mourning doves - perhaps they are my masters so far in this journey…

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hey I'm back! I've been busy getting ready to go to D.C. next semester.  I didn't have time to read the other posts, but I'll get to that later.  I have no spiritual mentor really.  The closest I've come to that is probably you Sean, but I am not really following I just read what you write and I realize it on my own as the truth, you know?  I would say my therapist, but we never really talk spirituality.  Mostly we focus on psychology.  That's probably because I don't feel like I need help in the spiritual department hahaha.  I just let things come and for some reason I continue to expand and it's just fantastic!

I am alone, but we are all practicing so I don't feel very alone in that respect.  =)

namaste

Love Kevin

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Kevin,

Thank you.

Why are you going to DC?

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i think good eyesight is important.

we spend so little time paying attention to the life that is moving around us. if we allowed our eyes to focus on the moments at hand, practice would inevitably follow as life is a constant unfolding of reality.

i like the 'facing the wall' as that metaphor. but the flip side is we stare at many things and call it practice… the speaker at workshops, the books or dvds, the preacher or teacher… all the time thinking, my practice should be this, should include that, has to mean….never realizing how much time this takes up… hoping it is the right practice which will lead to nirvana… and nirvana waits for us to stop our right practice and just be with it… in it… fully

kes mentioned the three barriers to studying… and i agree that knowing what you're trying to learn about is important… but i think its more important to keep looking while you're learning about your spirituality, and embrace it all… lessons don't always look like lessons and people are merely reflections…

the second barrier is why i feel religion falls short… so much information about certain religious doctrines are shrouded in secrecy that it is impossible to fully grasp what they are trying to convey…

finding a teacher when we are not looking is the best gift we get in the present… i have found many in the past this way… appreciated them while they where available and loved letting them go…

i must say everyone here has it in their hearts…
i think that's where we find what we need to motivates us… keep us moving…

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Charetta,

What are your realizations regarding heart-mind?

Mac

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Thank you, Tharlam!   :O)

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everything is practice, stared at, ignored, derided, chastised, worshipped…

nothing is outside of this, for in truth the words themselves so much empty rhetoric…

how i love reading, writing competing &  sharing this smorgosbod of divine thought and wonderment with all you guys…

@ ~)

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:O)

YES!

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Every authentic Master will insist that you prove true for yourself any “teachings” you may get from him/her.  A charlatan will tell you what you want to hear and want you to accept what is said on faith. 

There have been many teachers in my life from philosophers to the clerk at the convenience store.  Teachings can come from the most unexpected places.  All it takes is the awareness to hear it.  

It does not matter if our teacher is still on the “Path” or has realized the “goal”, we still have to do the work ourselves.  We have to put the teachings into practice or they become mere intellectual knowledge not experience.  I guess it all boils down to what you are seeking. 

For me,  first was the realization that IT can only be found in the here and now.  Then it became a matter of getting rid of the habitual patterns, the thinking ruts, that kept me from continuosly focusing my attention on now.  These ruts that the mind habitually follows are not easy to see since the patterns are so much a part of normal life.  I keep coming back to this quote from the Dhammapada

We are what we think
All that we are arises with our thoughts
With our thoughts we make the world 

It usually takes an authentic Master to push one out of the ruts one has been stuck in.  When your car is stuck in the snow sometimes you need a push.  

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Thank you, Ricosoma!  :O)

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ricosoma, I find what you say to be true.  Or as Thoreau put it: “It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.”  I've had many different and unexpected hands give my car a push out of the snow…

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bump

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“What are your realizations regarding heart-mind?”

:)

i try very hard not to say, do, or act when from one or the other…
i think it necessary to incorporate both elements into each process i go through, otherwise any decision, idea, feeling, or choice is incomplete and unbalanced…

i see that there is confusion as to how to use these tools in a way that creates harmony and balance in our lives… some people rely solely on the heart, while others rely solely on the mind… many don't see a connection between the two and therefore revolt at the idea of their necessity and equality… 

the heart is meant to navigate you through the many interactions of life… if we are still and listen to its message we get clarity on how we connect to the things that are going on in the moment, how they create or manifest in us our depth or feeling, and possibly where we should go from that point.

:)

our mind is a database of facts, concepts, and beliefs or ideals… it is the mainframe of information designed to aid us in assessing in detail what we must know before we can act.

relying on either soley would only give us half an answer/truth. it is through both sides that we are able to truly see a circumstance in its entirety… or to the best of our ability…

we may feel there should be an action but without thought, how do we know what that action should be? we may think we know what is right, but if we do not feel it deeply, how do we know that it is so?

when we recognize the heart and mind in this way we come into contact with the basic nature of our being…

:)

the culmination of the heart and mind is intuition… if we pause long enough to wrap ourselves around it…

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thank you kes… your images are too cute :) and exactly right… i think that is it the body, mind, and heart are what we use to honor the direction of the spirit which channels its energy through the heart…

if we take some time and think about our daily lives, how much of it is ruled by the head, the heart, or the deeper consciousness that some call spirit? if we look deeply often, it will become easier to see how we categorize and delegate our decision making to particular tools. very rarely, do some cultivate a consensus between each tool to form a community decision/action. it is a serious thing worth investigating and creating a practice for… (yoga/meditation?)

without your heart intuition, acting cannot truly come from a deeper level of consciousness, nor are you able to truly see what is transpiring around you… that which is really happening is veiled. all the intelligence in the world cannot help you get to where you need and want to be nor can the movements of a love filled (or broken) heart.

very important stuff :)

does anyone see it differently?
does anyone have a heart mind experience offering?

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Charetta,

Beautiful!

This is the first group I've created where I feel so many others could easily take it over! Nice feeling for me!

Mac

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bows :)

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Perhaps a little different but this just may be a difference in terminology or semantics. 

From my perspective the limited mind, manas in Sanskrit, is useful for mundane tasks like remembering where I put my keys or how many pints in a quart.  But manas can be a distraction if not a real hindrance when it is allowed to follow it's own undisciplined tendencies.  There is another aspect to the mind the higher mind, buddhi in Sanskrit, that is the source of intuition and inspiration.  While most actions in the “world” are preceded by (a) thought, thought is not a pre-requisite for action.  If you see a child drowning in the pond you jump right in and save the child without having to think about it assuming, of course, that you can swim ;o)
  
It is the heart (not the brain) that is the seat of buddhi so the heart  is always engaged when buddhi is activated.  I would add a wrinkle to the discussion in that right action, dharma, is followed when the habitual tendencies of manas are under control and one's attention is focused in the present moment .  

Suffering arises when one is identified with the habitual thoughts in the mind and/or attached to the outcome of one's actions.

Sitting meditation, watching the mind (with eyes open), chanting are all activities that can make one more familiar with the awareness that is aware of the movements of the mind.

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:O)

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Thanks for teaching me about the ♥heart too!!

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On my own that is me , and who I am , I follow my own beat , of my own drum.
I love all , and accept all faith , and cultures for who they are .
I believe in all , and I am me , I accept , and just be…

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bump

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp6eu1w-wDQ

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Loved the video - it's drum group tonight too! - all drumming together awesome experience - community and oneness…
Tai

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I will go to my new home , and beat y drum tonight, as one:)

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Will hold the image in my mind tonight - I'll be drumming in the group in just over an hours time…
Love Tai
ps I can see that enormous drum now, it was so good in the natural surroundings

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:O)

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…about the thoughts and ideas about heart and mind…
from  the teachings i received from a vajrayana buddhist lineage
… body, speach, and mind. 

Body - the Dharmakaya - the profound “emptiness” aspect - with an energetic link in the body form at the crown chakra of the head. 
Speach - the Sambhogakaya - the luminous aspect of pure energy potential  that arises and is inseparable from emptiness - with an energetic link in the body to the throat chakra.
Mind - the Nirmanakaya  - the naturally arising compassionate aspect that arises and is inseparable from emptiness - with an energetic link in the body to the heart chakra.

i cannot tell you about the words in tibetan from which these are translated - but i can tell you that Mind - the nirmanakaya aspect of Mind is not referring to the incessant chattering noise of language and emotion … 

mixing spiritual languages and references,  it seems that heart center is the energetic source of the Mind of God - as it manifests in bodily form. 
but these are all simply mental knowledge teachings… and have nothing to do with the wisdom/expertiential aspect that the teachings point toward….  (learning the teachings doesn't mean you realize them - even though the chattering mind would tell you so)

in regard to intuition - for me, i don't think intuition is heart ….  i think, as i have said in some other post somewhere - intuition or gut feeling or whatever is a sensitivity to non-verbal energetic cues - which may be more subtle than language - but are not necessarily an indication of this “Heart-Mind” - the nirmanakaya aspect.

have to go to work… lots of love to everyone here…
christine arpita

Re: On My Own

Fallen snow,

Still white;

Ice cleaving to gray cement

Making mindfulness walks.

What need have I for intellection?

When not one dharma flake is like another

And slippery koans line the earth?

Copyright © 2009 by Silent Temple

Re: On My Own

no need to even ask the question
…. yet…
mind is often here
sometimes like a curious child
sometimes like a tyrant
and sometimes like a content servant.

….and sometimes
mind needs mind
to remind mind
that mind can unwind.

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lol

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i think in great detail about my creation

:)

i have read the precepts of christianity, judaism, islam, catholicism, and buddhism.
i read sufi poetry, listen to the music of rastafari sages, read works from animist and atheists.
using my heart and mind, i have discovered wholesome and unwholesome words… beliefs… ideas
through that recognition, i have kept some and left some behind.

:)

my heart and mind have created a trail such that i'm able to reach my intuitive nature (center for some).
so for me, my intuition is paramount: practicing mind training and opening the walls of my heart as they become clear

so intuition is the culmination of my balancing the heart and mind such that i can move through all the propaganda that is spirituality, all the varying voices both internal and external, and focus on what really is… truth… for me…
defined by no other

the naturalness and balance of intuition lives in the heart.
the education and conception of intuition lives in the mind.
the body is the physical method of movement of these two tools… (hopefully)

:)

to reach a state of kaivalya, or isolation/emptiness, is the state i refer to when i speak of the mind
to obtain true elightenment is not only the removal of mind chatter, though it is an important step, it is also the process of becoming unconditioned or absolute.

if one recognizes, experience is the mental manifestation of non reality or false nature, than one can begin mind training to free the self from the material and move into a state of absolute pure being.
however, many must take the first step in recognizing their nature today.
and working towards gaining insight into that nature so they can lose it…

what did lao tzu say…
to learn
one accumulates day by day
to study tao
one reduces day by day

Re: On My Own

“What did Lao Tzu say
to learn
one accumulates day by day
to study tao
one reduces day by day”

Or from Advaita Vedanta:
Neti Neti Neti  (not this not this not this)

When one reduces the incessant activity of the mind (not this) to the point where the mind is still  or even just notices the space between thoughts; what is left is pure awareness.  It is always there it is who we are.  We only need to become more familiar with it, to identify with this awareness instead of the habitual thoughts in the mind.

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Hands together in prayer position, big bow, and a nice smile for Ricosoma!

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back at  ya

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that's it!
becoming
that's all it is!

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Charetta,

You are wonderful!

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:O)

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bump

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:)))

i read again…

what a vital and open-hearted dharma lineage here!

bow

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Mario smiles at the flower!  :O)

Re: On My Own

i am learning alone from those who are learning alone.  i am a solitary as they are solitary.  i have not found a compassionate, willing teacher of any school.  any religion, faith, or belief system takes a lot of learning and a lot of time to learn.  to learn casually is very difficult.  without support or teaching, it is very difficult and time  consuming.  i consistently fall back on my christian faith because of the lack of ability to enter into another path consistently enough to learn.  i do also hold close to my christian roots, yet believe they are not nearly all there is, and Holy Father/Mother did not/would not intend it so, one path.  i am a lover of old testament scripture, christian, with zen/buddhist & pagan undertones.  i like to see myself as a christian witch.

my family is financially comfortable and bitter, negative about everything.  i married a man and had children, realizing too late that the problem is that they are also negative about everything and everyone.  my heart is very, very sad for this fact.  i want to grow and improve and learn and give more.  i believe my first task is to do this at home.  but i must save myself in the process.  my family hated and berated catholics growing up and i for some reason grew up ardently desiring to be a nun or religious of some sort.  this will never be but i grew up with a strong need and desire of faith in a family and around no one of strong faith.  the desire has never left me.

our financial situation is dire and every class, every church, all necessitate money.  i did scrape together and start a tai chi class next week.  i am also learning to eat vegan macrobiotic, a compassionate diet.  i am learning a lot from podcasts on itunes.  one of my new year’s resolutions for this year was of retreat, to relax and refresh and learn.  i hope to have the opportunity to do that some time this year.

namaste. blessings. peace. 

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sounds like good learning

peace to you

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Hi Susan,

I just loved the transparency and vulnerability of your post!

I once took a Behavior Genetics class. The instructor said parents should relax … you know, a lot of personality traits are genetic.

I our culture, we want to feel we can change anything and everything. We can’t. Some things are just built in. I say, go with the flow!  :O)

I am intuiting you should try Ecstatic Dance!  :O)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx6XBiE8NAM