Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

Well, since I started this pod, I suppose I should start the conversation too, hm? :-) I decided to start off with a hard one: Why do you perform?

I got into performance (theatre primarily but occasionally dance and piano) originally because it's sort of a family tradition. My mother danced and so do my sister and cousins as well as a few of my cousins play instruments. My grandmother founded a community theatre back in Indianapolis, so in a lot of ways, I am just following in the footsteps of my family.
Until I went to the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, I performed primarily for the fun of it, which, I believe, is the place the desire to perform should start from: some permutation of joy. I also performed because it was something that I did unexpectedly well, something that surprised my family and friends since I was always a bit of the black sheep in my family. Most of them are very talkative, loud, and (for lack of a better word) “ballsy.” As I've gotten older and more confident in myself, I guess I've become more like them, but when I started out, I was very, very shy and quiet. To go on stage and play something completely unlike myself and do it well (more or less ;-)), surprised them, and it's always nice to show people you can do something they didn't expect.
After AMDA, I had learned that to be an actor, you had to live a certain way. Not only did this include taking good care of your physical body, it meant taking good care of your soul. In order to stand on stage and be open to the feeling and the “moment,” you had to practice a form of this in your every day life. You had to appreciate the details in life, appreciate what makes people different, learn to understand things you personally may not agree with, learn as much as possible, be human as often as possible, go with the flow. My time at AMDA really changed me and how I see the world and art. It changed how I thought about life, myself, and the people around me in a way that I can't describe without writing volumes. I continue to perform (and to live the “lifestyle of the performer”) to deepen my understanding of this magical, mystical, CRAZY world. :-)

Re: Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

Re: Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

I've always been interested in doing street performances. What kind of music did you dance to? I've thought about doing monologues in Central Park. (Maybe Shakespare, Marlowe, Shaw…. I feel, for some reason, only classical pieces and poetry would really work in that sort of setting.)
I hope the performance went well. Did you play something, sing, or both?
Take care!
-Adam

Re: Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

I'm writing here about performance but keep questioning myself.  I was going to say that performing became important through writing, and then being invited to read in public.  This prompted a bit of crisis in my life, because it brought up a lot of fear all of which resulted in some necessary therapy.  To do what I wanted meant I wanted to be able to read my work in public, and I had to work through those fears about exposing myself ( my work was fiction, but I still felt exposed).

I've been to lots of boring readings and I don't want to do that.  So I practice.  I edit a written text so that it moves along quicker.  I'm not saying I'm a whiz at this, but I do apply myself and practice with the view to improvement.

To get back to my initial comment, reading in public was not my first brush with performance even though it seems to have registered that way in my emotional memory.  Before that, I had taken theatre courses, and had been in plays and musicals, although I don't believe that I am gifted as an actor.  I had gone through school and spoken in class many times, but did not run up against the crippling wave of performance anxiety until I was going to be reading my own work in public.

Lots of readings later, I still get nervous but it is shrinking.  Instead of two weeks of nerves before an event, maybe now only 2 days.  I have a reading here in this small town on Monday, and I'm not nervous at all, probably because I held a prose workshop here a few weeks ago which went well.  After each event I always remind myself, see, there was really nothing to get all worked up about was there?

Re: Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

I understand how you can feel exposed. I've had three of my plays performed and I refused to be in two of them because I couldn't handle being that vulnerable and exposed. As a performer, it's something you have to get used to because when you can stand confident at your most naked is generally when you will do your best work…. But both plays dealt with situations in my life that I really just preferred to not revisit in such depth. It can be hard to make something you care about so visible and prone to others' scrutiny.
However, I'm glad that it has gotten easier for you and that you take the time to adjust the text in order to make it better spoken.
How did the reading go today?

Re: Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

I know with some of my more personal material I am very careful about reading it in public because there could be –gulp– some loss of emotional control.  That's one reason I practice out loud, because I can write stuff down and feel like everything is under control, but if I say the words out loud I can be surprised by still simmering emotional undercurrents.  Usually I don't work with something  in public unless I  know everything has been worked through.

The reading tonight went well.  Read several short pieces old and new.  The most satisfying thing for me was reading a section from the new novel I am working on here.  It was easy to read and went over well.  To create text that flows easily and comes across is really not that easy.  For me anyway it means there has been a lot of polishing to make it look “simple.”
 All of the underlying work in a way does not show, and that is why I am taking pains to emphasize how hard I am working, in case you can't tell.

The people in this small town have been great, so three cheers for all those people everywhere who enjoy and support the arts.

Re: Let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

I can understand not wanting to read things out loud that might cause you to break down, even though–short of breaking down and becoming unintellgible–I think it would add something more to your readings. (However, I am an actor first and a writer second, so I'm a sucker for the emotional aspect versuses enjoying something purely for its literary aspects).
It's funny how emotions can rise up in us without the slightest bit of effort. All that's required is that we stay connected to our breath and that we communicate instead of just speak out loud, and all of a sudden, it's like Pandora's box sometimes.

Congratulations on the reading! Making the hard work not show reminds me of something a piano teacher of mine said, when you really get a hold on a song, the final step is to make playing it look effortless (or something similar… this was when I like 13 :-p). To me, that applies to all arts: acting, music, writing, etc. etc.

Anyway, best of luck as you toil on with your book. :-P