Explore
Gaia Soulmates
down  About This Group
Poets Workshop.

Short term goal -  to share our knowledge and hone our poetic skills.

Long term goal -  to produce a high quality anthology of inspiring  poems together under the Gaia umbrella, to spread love peace and light in the world. 

Aim - A  safe place where poets can meet to receive feedback and constructive support...(more)
down  About This Room
post for light critique, or C&C, see guidelined
down  Room Activity
Zephyr : Poeticspirit
Zephyr started a new conversation - Autumn Gold ()
Zephyr : Poeticspirit
Zephyr posted a reply to the conversation "running --c&c" ()
sherab  : Myna Qui
sherab posted a reply to the conversation "Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C" ()
sherab  : Myna Qui
sherab started a new conversation - running --c&c ()
 Meenakshi : Connection
Meenakshi posted a reply to the conversation "Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C" ()
Zephyr : Poeticspirit
Zephyr posted a reply to the conversation "Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C" ()
down  Group Grapevine
Zephyr : Poeticspirit
Zephyr Asking folks to remember guidelines, 2 comments on other poems per one post of your own pretty please.! It is possible to learn a lot by considering other peoples poems and it will help your own poetic craft. Don't be shy,and stick to critique of the poem - not the poet., if you are new to critique, just share what you liked and what worked for you in the poem, and anything that did not work for you. (5 months ago)
 Advertising keeps Gaia free! Interested in sponsoring us?
Resultset_previousprevious thread | next threadResultset_next
threaded | unthreaded | newest first


  yaffie : yaffinity

He Speaks Love

yaffie said Jun 8, 2008, 9:41 PM:

 

 


He speaks Love
murmuring low, two hearts aglow
and spring is in the air
He can't wait…to thread his fingers
Into dazzling, sun streaked hair
To kiss her cheek, her neck, her face
To hear her coo in his embrace
Love's fever permeating cool air
While He speaks love.

His fingers trace her face
Tender fusion proves love's grace
She swallows back ecstatic sighs
Passion's kiss soaring high…
Breath fresh as dew and sweet like the scent
Of…
Springtime flowering,
burgeoning love blooms seeding
Spring fever effervescent in the air
when He speaks love.

© Yaffa Leibowitz 

  Zephyr : Poeticspirit

Re: He Speaks Love

Zephyr said Jul 26, 2008, 6:24 AM:

 

Yaffie,I like this,  nice use of internal rhyme, can feel the passion in this one and I like how it comes fiull circle at the end. Not sure of reason why you chose of on its own line perhaps start the next line with that?  Also you have air ending a line twice in S1, could you find an alternative for one ? I really like it, but if I were to push your poetic ability harder, which I hope you would also do for me, maybe look for more original ways of showing the
passion, surprise us.?

  yaffie : yaffinity

Re: He Speaks Love

yaffie said Jul 26, 2008, 12:32 PM:

 

hhmmmmm…I will rethink it…
thanks…