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He Speaks Loveyaffie said Jun 8, 2008, 9:41 PM: |
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Re: He Speaks LoveZephyr said Jul 26, 2008, 6:24 AM: |
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Yaffie,I like this, nice use of internal rhyme, can feel the passion in this one and I like how it comes fiull circle at the end. Not sure of reason why you chose of on its own line perhaps start the next line with that? Also you have air ending a line twice in S1, could you find an alternative for one ? I really like it, but if I were to push your poetic ability harder, which I hope you would also do for me, maybe look for more original ways of showing the |
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