Seeds of light for C & C please

Seeds of light rain down
Into oceans, rivers, lakes
Waiting crystals catch ,hold, throw out
Takes but a fraction of a moment

Shafts of light bathe the inert and alive
Seeds awaken the waiting waters within
Flora, fauna, mineral, miniscule and large
And so comes Christ Consciousness into the world.

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Meenakshi,
I particularly like:

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Beautiful sentiments Meenakshi, like Sherab, I was hungry for a little more, though this grows on me as I read and re-read it, my favourite parts the same as Sherabs, I am thinking to someone not as spiritually minded as we all are here, maybe they would need you to paint a broader word picture of your vision, play with the crystals a little more, or  expand your metaphor a little, it's lovely, maybe a little someting to ground it for the average reader. Just throwing out ideas for you to consider, it won't need much, you are pretty close to a gem here.

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Thank you both, Sherab and Zephyr, for seeing the heart of the vision here. I was thinking today, that a piece of art does not belong to the painter and painting –it is complete when it is hung and in the eyes of the beholder.

I see that a painting is the same. What I have not written in words, you have both seen!

Not surprisingly, some more did come to light for me, about those crystals, so let me see if I can flesh it out.

I wasn't sure if I should mention Christ consciousness, but then it came, so I did…but something more came, and let's see if I can add that now.

Another point: I don't think it has any particular style; as in cinquain or haiku or….as you know, Zephyr, I may express myself poetically, but i”m no poet.

So, with your indulgence:


Seeds of light rain down
Into oceans, rivers, lakes
Settle into flowing orbs of translucence
In a splendor of water, fire, air

Falling like rain to awaken dormant desert seeds
Light gently tickles the water crystals into blossom
Transforms into dazzling shafts of radiant light
Each facet of newly awakened crystal sparkles
As stars on a moonless night

The play of light!
Seeds caught, held, beamed out
Glistening from water to dolphin
From fauna to flora in water, land, air
To human, animal, mineral
All in a fraction of a second

Shafts of light bathe the inert and alive
Passing through with magical splendor
Seeds awaken the waiting waters within
As water calls out to water

So the consciousness that once roamed the land
As Buddha, Christ, and other anointed ones
Departed after sowing seeds of longing
Has returned to fulfill its promise
To seeds that showed signs of sprouting

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Meenakshi, you definitely are a poet if you are writing poetry, honing poetic skills is a lifelong task, The great poets never stopped trying to perfect revised and revised again, even those greats who wrote for years. We all have to start somewhere, and when we love poetry, as you have here we put our passion into it, and put the poem before ego, I love how you open to suggestion and yet still make the poem uniquely yours, expressing your ideas and passion. Are you pleased how your poem has grown?  I have a lot of respect for others work and try to read and absorb, several times before making any comments and this is first read of your revision, will be back later today, hugs dear fellow poet - and I am just that, a fellow poet sharing ideas, and respecting your creative integrity, not an expert. So consider comments and only take what works for your poem

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

I am delighted with the co-creation which is how poetry seems to me

Not fully satisfied with

So the consciousness that once roamed the land
As Buddha, Christ, and other anointed ones
Departed after sowing seeds of longing
Has returned to fulfill its promise
To seeds that showed signs of sprouting

–and
am wondering how to bring to light that unique feel to light which is metallic yet can pass through everything.
–Zephyr, thank you for sitting with it and giving time.

I wonder if it is now more grounded as you had mentioned, for the average reader? though sometimes I do think that I like the poem to draw people in to their own visions.

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Hi Meenakshi, the part where you are not satisfied, maybe instead of naming, perhaps you might say divine spirits roamed, then the reader could imagine their particular divinity, christ, mohammed etc? Dormant seeds is another possibility? I like the phrase fulfill a promise,. You have several ings in the verse sprouting longing sowing, these can add a sort of sing song quality, which you may or may not want here.
I do feel it's more grounded now, something for the reader to hang their vision on, and you are right to leave some bits hanging to leave room for the readers imagination.
On your quality of light maybe consider intensity, direction and color, and metallic makes me think of reflective light, silvered, like moonlight on water, hope something here is helpful, it's coming together well.

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Definitely helps…I'm going to let it come through - thanks a lot, Zephyr.

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Divine consciousness that once roamed the land
As teacher, healer, sage,
Sowed seeds of longing as it rose into eternity
Has returned to fulfill its promise
To blossoms that are now unfurling

–

Re: Seeds of light for C & C please

Meenakshi, I like the change, more open yet reads smoothly,