Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Moist with Unending Mystery

The vessel of clay
Fills up with knowledge
Empties it all
Into the All


Clay stays strong when moist
And disintegrates with the weight of water

=================

This is just evolving and I'd love the help of the poets here. Like the clay I write off, I am willing for it to be disintegrated or strengthened…

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Hi Meenakshi, could you do what I did in my new poem latest blog and add tags underneath, kind of explaining your thought process ?

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

I won't be able to edit it; but could you add tags, Zephyr?

Tags: allegory, spiritual path, emptiness, relation of soul to God/Source/Creator/Universe

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Hi Meenakshi, I'd would have the vessel be strengthened by staying moist so
it could be “Moist with Unending Mercy,” rather than mystery since Mercy
is needed more than mystery. This would of course put a different meaning out,
but I'd like it better. Otherwise, I think the message is too ambiguous. This is my opinion, but it's feels better to me. All the best, Kevin

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Thanks Kevin, you've given me an idea about its ambiguity. Trouble is, allegorical poems are usually ambiguous, aren't they?

So–may I tell you what I'm trying to convey and perhaps you could tell me if something else comes up?

I'm trying to convey that we are like a vessel that gets filled with knowledge [water]. As we do, we grow, expand and so on –all desirable ends of becoming more knowledgeable.
But since we're made of clay, we can break if we hold on to the knowledge. We've to empty ourselves of knowledge so that we may still stay moist –this is the crux of these verses. That knowledge that isn't imbibed, or absorbed into the vessel's clay, is superfluous; and dangerous as it can destroy. Only that knowledge is of use that a vessel/person has imbibed. That is the meaning of moist.

Now as to 'mystery'; I'm pondering if another word would fit. At first, 'mercy ' doesn't resonate with me perhaps because it brings in the idea of God or a higher power being merciful…another point but I'm not dismissing it. Do you feel it's mercy, and if so, how would it fit into this explanation?

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Hi Meenakshi
                  I took time to define and look at the synonyms for mystery

Main Entry:
mystery

Part of Speech:
noun

Definition:
puzzle, secret


Synonyms:
abstruseness, brainteaser, braintwister, charade, chiller, cliffhanger, closed book, conundrum, crux, cryptogram, difficulty, enigma, grabber, inscrutability, inscrutableness, mindboggler, mystification, occult, oracle, perplexity, poser, problem, puzzlement, question, rebus, riddle, rune, secrecy, sixty-four-thousand-dollar question, sphinx, stickler, stumper, subtlety, teaser, thriller, tough nut to crack, twister, whodunit, why*


Antonyms:

known, understanding
 
Somehow for the reader mystery doesn't seem to fit with the content of your poem, maybe understanding or enlightenment light, or some such word ?
 





 

Moist with Un…..

The vessel of clay
Fills up with knowledge
Empties
Into the All

Wondering if you need it all, or if it all is superflous  ? Just a suggestion to keep it tight.

 

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Hmm..I'll see why I thought of mystery – I think it's because we live in mystery till perhaps one day we will know all –when we are whatever is meant to be uncovered.

So, if I don't use 'all',
=====================Draft 2==========
Moist with light

The clay vessel 
Fills up with knowledge
Empties 
Into the All

When full, it disintegrates
when empty it bathes in dawning light

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

Wow Meenakshi, a little gem,that gives clarity for me now, does it feel right to you?

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

What do you think, Zephyr, about the knowledge and light? Does it work for you? I'll sit with it and move away from that very attractive mystery –lol!!!

Re: Moist with Unending Mystery - C&C

You know, I like this, but it doesn,t quite get all the way to Poetry for me.
I can hear something in the malleability of clay and something else about the light.
I f you could make it so that a young woman is wedging some clay, and trying to push the stiffness out of it and bring it to life, and the light is coming in through the studio window in a certain way, so that it kind of shines and glitters as she puts it on the wheel, then I'd buy the poem.

I think it is cool though, because you always have this to come back to, all these ideas you have in this little poem.