Gaia: Poets Workshop.

Re: 8/22/2006

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:58:10 GMT

intriguing...

Re: ripple

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:50:15 GMT

it's powerful and insightful, william. i can think of a few possible changes - what do you think of -

If poetry could deconstruct the atom,
unravel D.N.A., or halt aging in its tracks,
its value could be measured with a gauge
and read so clearly anyone could fathom
the full five feet of every line and verse.
But there's more to poetry than metered lines,
the by-products of our frustrated lives
or an attempt to set things right with words.
We could think of poems as frozen time,
as threads of thought connecting word-beads.
What connects them is not the verse or rhyme
but measured breath, a date, a time, an insight:
an emotion that we had before dying,
a ripple on the waters which we caught.

Re: ripple

http://symbol.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:08:08 GMT

written just as it is in 2005 i think.
This is not a work in progress, but I would like to hear some reactions to it, thoughts about better ways to say the same thing etc.

ripple

http://symbol.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:02:46 GMT

If poetry could pick apart the atom,
unravel D.N.A., or stop old age,
it's value could be measured with a gauge
and read so clearly anyone could fathom
the full five feet of every line and verse.
But there's more to poetry than metered lines,
the by-products of our frustrated lives
or an attempt to set things right with words.
We could think of poems as frozen time,
as threads of thought, holding words together.
What connects them is not the verse or rhyme
but measured breath, a date, a time, a thought:
an emotion that we had before dying,
a ripple on the waters which we caught.

8/25/2006

http://symbol.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:58:19 GMT

Great history books
Scattered by late summer storms,
Pages in a field,
Like empires' ancient ruins,
Blown before the winds of time.

8/22/2006

http://symbol.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:52:30 GMT

This grey paper scrap
Caught in the mangrove branches
Bears no human words.
Perhaps the wind brought it here;
The tides will take it away.

Re: Voices Education Project -September 21, 2009

http://addresstofollow.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:04:09 GMT

Hi Megan, hone our poetic skills? - if our poetry is published it is read, and as Neruda said
“Peace goes into the making of a poem as flour goes into the making of bread.”
I am hoping you will share what you are learning on your English course in workshop,
hugs.

Re: Blowing gaily away!

http://addresstofollow.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:08:54 GMT

Megan, very worthy of blowing away gaily, hugs, I enjoyed very much your capturing the aha moments.

Re: Call for haiku submissions, on War.

http://addresstofollow.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:00:06 GMT

Ooops, sorry and it only came through as an email the day I posted it, hadn't checked in to enter a haiku yet, thanks for pointing that out Megan.

Re: Voices Education Project -September 21, 2009

http://bluemoon.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:27:55 GMT

What could we do in Gaia? Besides adding our poetry to the mix.

Re: Call for haiku submissions, on War.

http://bluemoon.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:20:08 GMT

Um, the deadline is already passed for this contest. May 15. :-(

Blowing gaily away!

http://bluemoon.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:15:57 GMT

Published in Poetic Diversity, The Lit Zine of Los Angeles
April 2009

Collection of Five Haiku

An empty fireplace
Last time I look at my feet
They are blue and cold

When I try forgetfulness
The crusted dark marks your feet make
Our new white carpet

Late winter branches
Fight against the heater's blow
Standing at the door

I said, Love, shut up
Glancing into stranger's face
And then they smile

I'll condense my water
If you'll mop up the mess made
On the bathroom's face

Re: Celebrate what makes a good song? What skills / techniques?

http://HealthyCulture.gaia.com — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:22:58 GMT

As I understand it, the group Zap Mama often make up songs collectively by a traditional process that is like a game in which each person improvises a part of a word/rhythym/melody and then passes it off to another to finish their musical/lyrical sentence. might be difficult for us with out hearing each other. Maybe there is a beautiful song in a foreign language that we could learn the melody for and then make up lyrics using using that kind of "Renga-esque" method of one person starting with a verse or part of a verse and with the next person adding what the feel...

maybe a short melody like Durufles Ubi Caritas:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYkXnw-NDVY might be good to start with. I have also been trying (on and off) to write english words to these two brazilain songs which I can play on guitar and want to be able to sing equally beautiful english lyrics to :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tmRem9WNMg&feature=related, and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iqgG56D1uU and could use some help.

these are just some ideas...

I am not sure I have much of a theory about what makes a good song that is different from what makes a good anything else...I'll think about it some more and see what I come up with,

I-P

Celebrate what makes a good song? What skills / techniques?

http://addresstofollow.gaia.com — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:17:27 GMT

Listening to the joy in the voices of a song in a language foreign to me, that still gave me goosebumps and shivers of pleasure, inspired me to start this thread.

First I thought we could discuss songwriting skills together
and when we have some consensus, then write a communal song together with a set theme So please post your ideas on song writing and your suggestions for a theme to progress.

Re: Cinquain Train, New Thread 2

http://Meenakshi.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:18:25 GMT

Through pain
The babe squeezes
Out into the wide world
Out of this world into the next
Ascend

[Img]

Call for haiku submissions, on War.

http://addresstofollow.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 22:19:50 GMT

http://tankanews.com/2009/04/30/call-for-submissions-of-haiku-for-anthology-on-the-topic-of-war.aspx

Re: Cinquain Train, New Thread 2

http://symbol.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 04:37:41 GMT

One truth--
A ragged grin--
My tongue explores the gap.
One missing tooth, rules the world
through pain.

Re: Cinquain Train, New Thread 2

http://addresstofollow.gaia.com — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 06:49:45 GMT

True, Gael?
Beauty in truth
growing towards higher
spirit brings us All together -
One Truth.

Re: Cinquain Train, New Thread 2

http://Meenakshi.gaia.com — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:42:48 GMT

beauty
is finding you
In the twists and turns of
The Labyrinth of light at Gaia
True, Gael?

Re: Something Different

http://symbol.gaia.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 21:06:59 GMT

I liked:

"surrounded by candles
and scents of old lovers,
sitting in her den, pausing
breath as she runs an errant finger
through the alcoves of her hand."

But "medusan witchery" seems kind of judgmental.

In the sense that the subjects seductive behavior might some how 'freeze' the speaker, as Medusa's victims were turned to stone, then I'd say OK, but there's not a lot to support that.
I like the image of feet tangled on the ottoman, but that alone does not seem very seductive. (I imagine socks.)
The word entangle, bothers me a little. It does support the medusa motif, (perhaps the only word that does,) But it implies that her feet capture something else in their tangles.
Like:
"Her feet entangle mine on the ottoman."
I wouldn't leave out the object of the sentence in this case. You could say:
"Her feet entangle each other..."
or:
"Her feet tangle on the ottoman."
if it's just her feet writhing around like snakes.

Also, "flaxen strand" seems out of place. It sounds blond and wholesome. If you used some serpentine, snakelike imagery it would broadcast the medusan quality.

Although Medusa is sometimes described as fair, The Gorgon sisters all inspired a paralyzing dread. Of the three only Medusa was mortal, and when Perseus took her head they wept with such passion that Athena created the flute, to commemorate their lament.