Startin on The Path

Here is an excerpt from my memoir about being initiated into Gnosis:

A memory from my childhood suddenly came to me.  I was walking on the hot summer sidewalk in Reseda, California, circa 1958.  I felt the red leather sandals on my feet.  Daniel had a similar pair in brown and we’d ingeniously figured out that if you tap your toes perpendicular to the sidewalk you can get rid of the gravel bits that are irritating the soles of your feet.  I must have been wearing my white terry cloth shorts and t-shirt.  My spindly arms and legs were dark from the summer sun.   My brown ponytail, tipped bright by the sun, cooled the back of my neck as it swooshed across.  I was walking past the next door neighbor’s house when the pressing question came to me, How should I live this life?  What is the best way to be a person?  The answer came immediately, prepared, certain of itself, knowing the question would be asked.  Try to live your life as Jesus Christ did.   I had very little understanding of Jesus Christ.  I had two playmates, Jana and Theresa.  Jana was half Jewish.  Her father, the Jewish side, was a bartender who looked like Dean Martin.  Her mother was the only woman I knew who brazenly died her hair, sometimes black sometimes red. Theresa was Catholic.  I hardly ever saw her parents and whenever she did her Catholic stuff, she was extracted from the neighborhood.  I’d never heard of crucifixion, or virgin mothers, or Mary Magdalene.  I didn’t have a clue that there were different types of Christians – Catholics, Protestants, what not.  You were either Jewish or you were not.  But I seemed to have some kind of inherent understanding that Jesus had been a fully realized human being.  That’s what I wanted to be. 

Re: Startin on The Path

Excellent kick start to the discussion! Mine later when I have a minute…

Re: Startin on The Path

How Kundalini Changed My Life.

In the first days of experiencing the body doing strange things, like, uncontrollable leg shaking, energy shooting up my spine, my arms swooshing up into the air, I watched, simply observed, I was more fascinated and puzzled about what was happening, than any experience of fear or concern.
********************

Feelings of welcome lifted to mind. Welcome? Yes, I imagined right off that this was a good thing happening to me. I connected the bodily eruption to thoughts of, at last my cry for help is being answered.
**************************

Think about this - It was fall 1977, I was living on a farm in southeastern Ohio, when the “K” started. I was not exposed to the current times and a sweep of various new age media, or growth groups and teachers’ who could tell me what was happening. But a keen alert ‘I’ awoke inside of me that took care of the ‘me’ that was going nuts. It said all is well, sweetheart, all is well.
**************************

Then ordinary life events stepped to the fore and the “K” quit for awhile. In spring of 1980, after moving to California, I experienced an evening of wild cathartic crying, the first cry in dozens of years, (see my previous blog, A Story) and the “K” revisited me again only this time it was rather rowdy including nightmares, the body rocking back and forth whether I stood, sat, or lay, and tingly energy was almost constantly rushing up the spine.
**************************

I was unfit to search for employment, walk down the city streets, or meet new people. Imagine this, I went for a job interview and while waiting for the interview the body simply and slowly slunk into a squat on the floor. Thinking, this is not going to go well my dear, so I got up and left, moved out of my apartment and into my car. Life as I’d been living it, changed forever. When one cannot work to support oneself, and cannot find supportive help, one does strange things.
***************************

It was then that I did met someone who humored me, (like a Don Juan to Carlos) took me on as a friend, took me to the Anza Borrego desert and there, in the freedom of endless space (when compared to city dwelling) I danced naked under the moon, cried as I relived my own past over and over - breakdown and breakthrough - and began reading Carlos Castaneda books. I devoured Don Juan’s teachings and many many others at the time.
**************************

The “K” experience changed my life this way - I discovered that the ‘I’ in me, had peaked through the walls of ignorance, illusion, twisted thinking, and fraudulent living, and this awakening then and now is my source of guidance in every manner of my life. I am now centered in my truth, the truth is alive in my entire being. How does that work? Here is one example of a change in my way - to not to be bowed by fear of losing someone dear to me when I speak my truth.

***********************

Fifteen years ago I was a nanny for a beautiful family in a town where my daughter also lived. This was also the time in which I had became a lay Buddhist. One morning as I was feeding one of the toddlers the phone rang and it was my daughter. I said my hello and she immediately was harsh with me telling me I would never get to heaven if I continued with the Buddhist practices and beliefs.

*************************
I tell you, as a mother my heart was in my throat for a full Eternal second. And in the next second, the next breath, I kindly said thank you dear, for your opinion, but I will be continuing with my Buddhist practice because this has made more sense to me than anything I have ever done in my life.
*****************************

That was my truth absolutely in that moment. Had I never experienced the Kundalini & subsequent pursuit of understanding it, I would not have stood with my truth.
I may have lost a daughter but I gained my truth, my life. She and I were not serving each others highest good and so I broke with the conflict, still loving her, praying for the best for her on her terms.
*******************************

Gaining access to my soul, transforming my thoughts on every plane of mind possible, that is the results of my “K” experience.
**********************

Re: Startin on The Path - mita

I liked reading the posts. In rediscovering my passion and purpose I also went back to several childhood dreams and magical experiences, some of which I describe here in my spiritutal journey here in mysite.

Namaste

Re: Startin on The Path

dear peggy joyce
that is beautiful…do you stilldo kundalini?

love
A

Re: Startin on The Path

Hello Esclare

thats a great memory to have and thanks for sharing it with us. i have had similar experiences in the last 6 months and a similar message and i truly believe with every part of my being that this is the truth.
love & light
A

Re: Startin on The Path

Hello, I am a new member here and finding all sorts of places and people I'd like to get more familiar with.  My own spirituality started at a very early age, thanks to my sister Alice.  She had a  very challenging life and was endlessly looking for reasons, answers and ways to rise up from her own pain.  It really wasn't until after her death, when I was almost 30, that I began to open my true spirituality.  I suppose I progressed rather slowly and about ten years later I was helped along my path by a couple of painful whacks that served to strip away every scrap of me but my deepest inner core and guided me toward rebuilding the man I was meant to be. 

I LOVE the person I am now and I have a deep longing to help others along their paths.  My lessons have come from every aspect of life.  I have a very personal relationship with God and belong to no group, although I would enjoy the camaraderie of like minded people. 

My very first psychic experience as very, very early in my life.  I have memories of riding in a dark green car with visor over the windshield.   I later learned that it was and old DeSoto, a car they got rid of a short time before my birth.  Things have been like that ever since. 

Jon