Re: Internal Dialogue

I've had an odd week of sleeping … working on projects through the night, sleeping during daylight, attempts to restructure my day to reorganize it and sleep, again, during the night. So, last night, at the first sign of being tired (around 8:30pm) I snuggled into my warm covers and drifted off to sleep. Now, where I live, it's literally freezing at night, so when I awoke at around midnight, and after attending to my bodily functions, I crawled back into my warm nest, determined to sleep until at least sunrise. That's the time my Internal Dialogue (ID) loves to come drifting through.

Have you ever noticed how the ID has virtually nothing positive to say? Insipient thoughts that spiral into catty snipes toward others. A couple of minutes of that and I was about ready to decide that I was, afterall, awake, and may as well get up. Then I stopped. Oh, really? Now, why would I do that? Just so that I could escape that thought process? Think not. A warrior friend of mine shared a great tool for stopping the ID … just sit and observe it. And, like some shrinking wallflower, it recedes into the darkness. Rather like a petulant child who doesn't want to be watched while she misbehaves. Meditation can help with eradicating the ID, but since my intent was to sleep (and perchance to dream), I simply redirected my thoughts to *observing* the ID and woke up about six hours later. :) Success!

So … observing the Internal Dialogue, meditating … what other tools have you found helpful to eliminate/diminish the ID? How does eliminating the ID help you with your Walk?

Re: Internal Dialogue

it’s been my experience that there are different types of internal dialogue – one type is the inner critic, and another type (for me, anyway) has to do with a continual to-do list – the ID nags me about all the things I need to do

my inner critic pretty much shut up after several years of very deep psychotherapy during which my self-criticisms were compassionately reframed – it was phenomenal when that voice turned off – like listening to a jackhammer for decades and then experiencing silence – what a blessing! it’s my sense that over time I internalized my therapist’s compassionate view of me – he normalized my responses to the impossible situations I was in as a child, instead of pathologizing my responses, as my family had

and regarding the to-do list thing – I’ve had a tendency to take on too much work and then feel anxious that I won’t be able to complete it – the situation is challenging at times because I’m a freelance writer, and if I turn down a job, I risk the company being less willing to approach me the next time around – I’m on the go-to list of several big-name educational publishers, and I’m not willing to put those connections at risk – at the same time, I’ve learned a few things that are helping to turn down the volume on the ID:

–things ALWAYS work out okay – I always finish projects on time, and the Universe has a great way of shuffling things around when I’m feeling too crunched – something will get cancelled, or I’ll sit down to write and it’ll flow particularly quickly, or I’ll have a dream that points the way to the resolution of a difficulty in a project – the more I remind myself that things always work out, the less I get tripped up by anxiety

–last year I set two intentions that are bearing fruit: 1) to do more writing and less editing, copyediting, and proofreading (writing is a lot more fun), and 2) to make more money without doing more work – since then, I’ve become a regular writer on a project that pays well and provides some job security, which has allowed me to turn away other jobs that are less enjoyable

so on the topic of the to-do list ID, I’ve done a combination of reminding myself very regularly that it always works out okay, learning to trust more that I have the inner resources to handle the things I take on, being patient with myself about certain things I keep putting on the back burner (their time will come…), and setting clear intentions about how I want my life to be

and one more thing – the older I get, the more I’m learning to honor my natural inclinations and not put myself through things that feel wrong to me – I’ve chosen to separate from my very dysfunctional family, I don’t attend social gatherings where I’ll feel extremely uncomfortable, and I don’t hang out with people I don’t have a sense of kinship with – all of that reeeeeeeally simplifies my life and eliminates a lot of situations where I might otherwise be asking myself questions about why I can’t “get things to work”

Re: Internal Dialogue

Great post, Silver, thanks!!

Something else occurred to me. I think it is also possible to use the ID as a gauge … if my thoughts drift … >there< … what is it about “there” that's pulling my attention and how did it get there?

[One of the probably not-so-useful ways of shutting off the ID is to never stop doing something … always occupying my mind with something. The trouble with that is … is it really getting me anywhere that I want to go. Unless I take the time to Stop the World and sit there for a while, I'll never quite see my growth and development (or lack thereof).

For instance, in this case, the ID was all about making judgments about  others. Comparing myself, and my supposed growth, with theirs. My experience has been that when I react to someone, it's really a reflection talking to me. And when I turn that reflection inward, it's an opportunity (doncha just *love* opportunities??? LOL) to process and relinquish.

Good stuff.
Ladee