Racism and Ego

Buckle Up! I have so much that I wish to say, and that requires a longer trip than usual.

I have really taken a great deal of pleasure in reading Eckhart Tolle recently. His books “The Power of Now” and The New Earth” both speak to the misery and the angst that is caused by ego identification. The attachment to the idea of who we think we are or whom we wish we were.

Ego is the root of a great many problems. It is what fuels our ability to be defensive, angry, insecure, afraid, shy, hostile and step fully into the role of victim. Ego becomes the vision we identify ourselves as. We begin to seek ways outside of ourselves to reinforce who we believe ourselves to be.

We hate and rail against the things or the people that we perceive a threat to our ego identification. It evolves into “us” versus “them”. It quickly rolls into the desperate need to be right.

A few days ago I was chatting with someone that was jumping on the soapbox of corporations and the wealthy. The statement was “I am not going to sell my soul to….” And what I had to say was… “You already have”. I am in an interesting position to watch a great many people (and on occasion be one of the people) who use the “moral high ground” as a sick ego manifestation.

Sometimes in the stillness of being we have the opportunity to allow our egos to simply die. It is a thought about who we are and it isn't real. Who we are is a source of love. We are not separate from the divine spark that is within us. I sometimes think that the greatest gift we are given is the critical wound of conscious thought. We look around and see that we are different and our minds create ego around that.

I think people have difficulty understanding the difference between different and separate. My toes are different from my lips, and yet…. Not separate from the body of the whole. I am different than my friends….. and yet, we are all of the same body of being.

So, that is the foundation of this journey. Understanding the ego.

The second leg is rather simple. Love honors the connection we all share. Fear tears it apart. And when we are afraid that so easily morphs into self-righteousness, anger, hostility, hate……

I appreciate your keeping the seat belt fastened. The journey is about to begin now that we have taken care of some pre-flight checks. Ego is an illusion of who we think we are. Our thinking creates problems with the ego. Love is the way to connection. Fear is the food of the ego. It fuels bigger problems. Got it?

Ok.

I had the most wondrous conversation with someone I know a few days ago. It was in response to the Immus news story. I was so touched by the courage of this person to ask questions about something too many people are scared to talk about.

She wanted to talk about racism. I have never seen her respond negatively or speak negatively about anyone who is a race other than hers. And yet, she wanted to look inside herself and ask some hard questions. She also had some hard questions about the greater conversation of racism. Without trying to recreate the entire conversation (Our pilot has said that two destinations within the same trip is just not possible at this time)…… I want to hit some of the highlighted questions or issues that were raised.

She raised some of the same questions that have been on the news this week. Is there a double standard? Now, some of you know that I have incredibly strong feelings and “triggers” if you will around racism. I have no tolerance. I do not believe there is such a thing as “reverse racism”… I think that hate is hate. And when it comes to anyone feeling justified in spewing hate… I must return to the idea of ego. Identification. There is either love or fear. Fear begets hate.

She wondered if separatism within race relations wasn't where we were headed and might actually help. Now, before hackles go up…… she was talking about the US versus THEM attitude that is building. I would simply say that separatism IS the problem - not the solution. It truly is the root of the problem.

And here is what I think. I do not think that a bigger conversation about race needs to happen - first. I think that a bigger conversation about what is acceptable needs to happen. I think that a greater agreement that to denigrate another human being is not appropriate is a better conversation to begin with. And it is something that I believe for all people. I do not care what gender, race, religion, orientation, nationality someone is…… denigration is not ok.

It is not ok to put the hate on someone else. (It is not ok to put the hate on oneself, either). Not ok.

If that becomes the standard, then the entitlement and the victimization quit becoming the focus. The defensiveness goes down. The ego will not sustain the drama and the fight. When the ego dies….. Love stands a chance. And then….. under the possibilities of love, that becomes a good time to talk about the things that have kept us feeling separate.

I remember having this conversation with a friend of mine about a year ago. I am incredibly hopeful that in my lifetime we will see significant shifts to end racism. I can still hear his disbelief. I still believe it. We can and will shift this vile form of hatred and separation when we quit feeling separate. When we quit using separation language. In my thinking, there is no “African American community”…. There is simply US. No them. We are all part of the whole.

When we quit using our egos to identify who we are…. We will quit using language that makes it an us versus them issue. We will quit standing in a battlefield that says, “I am right and you are wrong”. We will quit personalizing other people's hatred.

Now…. One of the other things that was brought up in this conversation was some real life trauma that occurred to her because the color of her skin. Something inside of her kept a trigger that held onto that fear. And in some small corner of her mind, she still associates the color of her tormentors skin with the torment she suffered because of the color of hers.

I told her. As I would tell anyone…. That is your wound to heal. It is never going to be ok to project our own wounds on another human beings shoulder. I truly believe that if we let go of the ego, attend to the wound, release the projections onto other people….. we will heal the greater wounds. One person at a time.

I was very lucky in life. I have experienced the violence of racism first hand on both sides of the coin. (longer story and the pilot tells me to stay on course.) Just suffice it to say…. I am honoring the path I have walked to understand this. And so….

I've listened to people postulate this week. Defensiveness all around. And…. Identification from an ego stand also present. And the bottom line is, forms of targeting and hatred are not ok. And rather than pull up an old horse and beat it back and forth about free speech vs. racism. Vs. “things will never change” victim mentality…. Let's change things.

I was watching the Today show this morning. Danny Deautsch was on. He is a voice of marketing trends. He was talking about Imus being fired from MSNBC. I found myself shouting and celebrating what he had to say.

He said that this was the greatest opportunity for the dozen or so networking programmers to quit programming HATE television/radio. He said it wasn't an issue of race or gender. It was an issue of hate.

I could not say that any better if I tried.

Racism isn't about race. It is about hate. Sexism isn't about gender. It is about hate. Religious wars are not about the Divine. They are centered in hate. Genocide - Hate.

Hate is about the ego.

The ego is a false thing. It is an idea. The poisonous mind.

I think it is time we all stood up and said “Hate has got to go”. It is time we quit railing against the fear. It is time to let our egos die. It is time to love. Pretty simple.

Re: Racism and Ego

Very well said! I agree with you completely. So how do we get there?

Every day I am suddenly in the midst of a selfish desire or thought that leads to an action I would change had I the presence of mind to see it for what it is at the moment. Learning to be more aware so that I can catch these moments seems to me a good place to start. Perhaps it will be contagious.

Hate and selfishness are rampant in our society. I believe it is up to each of us to address our own issues from within so that we may set the example and maybe even inspire others to do the same.

Re: Racism and Ego

I love what you've said.  Our ego's rapidly become attached to emotion because we use our minds to symbolize things.  (I think).

The more often I quit trying to hold onto or symbolize emotions (the pleasant and less pleasant) the more I honor my feelings.  AND… the less I am attached to how it reflects on me or how I identify with who I am based on those emotions.

In terms of the external push to hate other people or the selfishness that can often times create it's own apathy… I think that is a mindful path.  It requires a commitment to practise caring or to practise checking in with oneself.

What do you think?

Re: Racism and Ego

I definitely get wrapped up my emotions because I think, incorrectly, that my feelings are who I am. They aren't me. They are just feelings. Also, when I am in the moment of whatever feeling is present, I incorrectly believe that feeling will last forever if I don't 'deal' with it. Sometimes paying attention to an emotion prolongs its existence. I have to remind myself that 'this too shall pass' and just let it go. Emotion is a hook for the sustenance of the ego or our view that we are separate from all other living things.

I agree with you about the antidotes too! For me, mindfulness and compassion are ways to get beyond society's classifications and delineations of people.

Re: Racism and Ego

I don't even know what to add to what you've said since I can't post the enormous smile and nods that have accompanied reading it!!!!