Freedom to Soar

I had a long talk with a friend of mine a few weeks back.  He was reading something to me that talked about love or freedom.  I think I've come to the conclusion that - for me - one does not hold space without the other.
I started with the premise of “if you could only have one, which one would you have”…. and I surprised myself and knew I would pick freedom.  Then I began a trail of “why that?” and I truly realized that I do not believe love can fully blossom or wholly fill the space if there is not the freedom within and without to honor that.
So, my few weeks have been spent relishing in the ways I feel free and noticing the ways in which I do not or what it is that leaves me not feeling quite free.
Pema Chodron talks about “shenpa”….. that act of worrying something to death and returning time and time again to a thought pattern that can and does cause distress.  I think of Shenpa's as chains for my soul.
This morning, I am full of reminders to self to drop the shenpa and open my arms to freedom.  To take a moment and stroll outside during my workday and let nature lull me into reminders of the freedom I so dearly love.

Re: Freedom to Soar

There are many kinds of freedom.  The one to which you refer I see as 'Spiritual/Emotional Freedom'.  Perhaps one of the most difficult to attain and hold onto.

I love the concept of the Shenpa.  Goodness knows I have enough chains on my soul to make the ghost of Jacob Marley envious. (If you don't get that one, Google “Jacob Marley” and get back to me).  I am a worrier.  Born and bred.  Worry is born of fear and fear feeds upon itself, creates it's own habitat, complete with all it needs to eat, drink and breathe.

I guess the first thing I need to do is learn how to get myself out of that place.

The other kinds of Freedom?  Well, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities for me to climb on THAT soap box.

Re: Freedom to Soar

I firmly visited shenpa land this week and came back to your comments to digest them once more.
I am finding that sometimes I simply need to cowboy up and just do it.  And that is the edge that is stretching me!

Re: Freedom to Soar

I am a new comer to Zaadz and am just finding the time to read some what is offered on this site.  I was laid off from work yesterday and the fear and worry became overwhelming. At first I was glad because of the horribly opressive feeling I had while working there.  Then the fear set in. I am such a slave to fear. And yet when I read and hear of all the brave people in the world that have walked through their fear to do what they believe I am so filled with joy, so inspired to do the same.  But when it comes to me and my life I become the most people pleasing person you've ever seen! This is not Freedom to me…And I want desperately to be stronger and more than I am.  I do not give myself credit for the things I have done. For being an overall good person. I give up my freedom every time I let someone else's opinion, feelings become more important than my own.  I cannot see myself as other people do, maybe I'm just unwilling to. I am 53 years old and going back to school. I have a great grade point average and was working full time before yesterday. I have been told how brave I am for going back to school at this time in my life. But I do not see it as being brave. I do not see it as any great feat.  But really it is.  Why then can I not see it?  Well now I'm off on different tangent. Being free of the chains on my soul as you put it is what I want!  Now the questions is am I brave enough to do the work necessary to get there?
Susan

Re: Freedom to Soar

Well, first of all….welcome to Zaadz!!!
And I hope you find out that there are some really great people here!!!
I can seriously relate to your situation….I'm 47 and going back to school for the 2nd time in 5 years to change my career.  I too, was “let go” from my job a few years back and decided to change my career…unfortunately I picked a career in a field where the market in this area collapsed almost overnight due to too many students in the area!  If I wanted to relocate, I could have easily found a job, but my family situation requires I stay here in Ohio for now.  So, I'm off to nursing school in January! 
I relate to your feelings of fear….but what I've learned (albiet the hard way!!) it to just face the fear… walk towards it….deal with it while its right there…then move on.  Its hard to do sometimes, but the fact is, the fear will remain until you accept it. 
About being told you're brave…I get that too and I sort of feel like you do…why do they think I'm brave?  Am I just supposed to sit in the house and feel sorry for myself?  Poor me, I got laid off? Well, I think you are extremely self-reliant and practical for going back to school!!
I think most of the comments come from people that are too afraid to change themselves and they can't imagine how anyone else could make such a “radical” change!
So….you go girl…………………..I'm sure you will do very well..!!!!!!
peace always…
T

Re: Freedom to Soar

T and Susan -
I think you've hit the nail on the head.  Fear will bind us and keep us chained.  And it is all well and good to know that, but how do you strip yourself of the fear when it is like a second skin?  Or when it is present during critical times.

I remember a time when I had been let go.  It was a moment of tremendous change, and I had not seen that coming.  I mean, I had been really focused on change, but …. I guess I wasn't planning on having to do any of the work.  It was the situation I wanted changed.  Finding myself in that position forced me to change and to honor myself and begin letting go of patterns that drew those situations into my life.

I remember it getting instantly better when I quit needing to figure all of it out in that moment.  All I had to focus on was what  was directly in front of me.  That was it.  And what has rolled out has been a life more magnificent than I could imagine.  I never thought I would be relatively free of fear… and yet I am.  No big changes… just one small step at a time.

Bless you!  and T, thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope!