Celebrating the Masculine

I love masculinity!  It needs to be said.  It needs to be repeated.  It is my litany to offer.  So… let's start:  Respect.  Respect.  Respect.  Respect.  Respect…..

Growing up I gravitated toward heroes that touched me.  It had never been my intention to pick only women, but when I look back to what I was drawn to as a child, my heroes were always women.  Miraculous women.  Amazing, courageous, adventurous, honest women with integrity.

And do you know what I never, ever thought about?  I never once thought about them being women.  It didn't occur to me to isolate the gender and feel one way or another about a human being that was miraculous, courageous, adventurous, honest or held integrity.  That still does not seem like they are masculine or feminine qualities.

I hurt for us.  Truly hurt.  We are living in a culture that is so poised and ready to condemn and box up people based on a myriad of criteria.  I just feel sad when I run into it because we are so much greater than we know.  Our lives are sacred.  And to nonchalantly disregard another soul because of their gender, age, color, religion, sexuality…… it hurts.  I worry for us when those things happen.

I so often feel called to talk about how we treat men.  There is such a blatant and pervasive disregard for the gorgeous quality of the masculine.  We tend to distill it to a few animal references, or blast it with a fervor that scares me.  Culturally, it seems like we've invented new rules and held onto the old ones for good measure.  As a cultural group… we still expect men to fix things and to complete us (women) and to create the value that we aspire to.  (Yes, I know that was a broad, sweeping statement).  At the same time…. As a cultural group we expect men to hold our rage at a wounded sense of self.  To envelope the blame for the patriarchy and the subjugation of women.  We think nothing of scathing put-downs.  We feel perfectly fine giggling over mutilation jokes (yea, put that idea on the other shoe and see how accepting our culture would be of a group of men laughing over mutilation!)

I have to wonder.  Where is the respect for life?  ALL of life.

The bigger question… I wonder where the accountability is.  I wonder why I can go through the same life and experiences as many women I know and feel whole and complete as a woman.  To feel capable of overcoming things and not willing to lie down and die because the “boys club” exists. 

Have men hurt me?  No.  They haven't.  I have been hurt by individuals, some of who happen to be men.  But men as a whole… they haven't hurt me.  Have women hurt me?  No.  Some of those harming individuals in my life were also women.  Yet women as a whole have not harmed me.

There have been more men that have loved and encouraged and treated me gently than there has been that have harmed me.  Many, many, many more men.  So, what does that say?

When do “we” quit projecting our state of wounded anger onto another group of people?  When do “we” as a society quit being ok with jokes that belittle other people, regardless of what that is.

I love the masculine energy.  To me it is a tangible, wonderful, magical energy.

I love the feminine energy.  To me it is a tangible, wonderful, magical energy.

Both are required for life.  All things in nature support that.  So… I refuse to dishonor the gift of either.  Or to stay silent and not speak up when disrespect is offered.  I love the men in my life.  They are beautifully human and wonderfully male.  I love the gift that I receive in them being naturally who they are. 

I love the respect I am afforded by most of the men in my life.  It isn't something I have to fight for.  It isn't something that I have to “prove” myself worthy of.  I don't believe in having to do that.  I'm just going to hang out and feel pretty comfortable being who I am.  And I am respected.

Do I think I would be offered the same beautiful honor if I was putting on the hate for the male species?  Get real.  When was the last time you freely offered your respect or friendship to someone that was busy hating you?  It isn't so simply done.

I'm sticking with the golden rule on this one, folks.  I treat others the way that I would want to be treated.  And, I'm treated pretty damn well!

So…. I want to invite you… all of you….  To toss it out on the table and look at it.  Do you make general statements about the opposite sex that are belittling?  Would you be willing to cease-fire for a moment and just assume…. In a big blind leap of faith… that maybe your vision is rather narrow?  And that perhaps the narrow vision has put you in a position to only experience the thing you are focused on?

I've been asking myself this for over a dozen years.  I've discovered some things:

Masculine energy is tender, loving, scared sometimes, hurt sometimes, confident, courageous, confused, committed, ethical, generous, healing, nurturing, shy, receptive, energetic, powerful, loyal, dependable, opening, sacred, divine, and whole.

Feminine energy and Masculine energy are mirrored images.  I am wholly sacred in my femininity.  Powerful beyond measure.  And I only feel small in that if I allow myself to.