WORD WORD WORD and HOPE

One of my dearest friends, Andrea has asked  “What do you feel personally and globally fuels hope? What do you feel stifles it?”  Let me first tell you about Andrea.  She and I met when I first began working at Omega.  You can be part of the seasonal staff and have housing on campus, which we both did.  What a gift I've been given in knowing this amazing woman.  We spent hours upon hours every other night or so, talking about what we believed and what our values were and how to shift and move energy.  How to be sensitive to the energy around us without it making either one of us run screaming!  Andrea does not know the meaning of the word “shallow conversation”.  She wants to explore the answer to a question to its depth.  I can offer her no less with this.  So, the question to be explored is “what do I feel on a personal and global level fuels or stifles hope?”  I THINK IT IS……. (drum roll)

Language is the short answer to that question for me.  The words we choose to use and speak can stifle all burgeoning hope.  Our chosen words can kill a nation, destroy a soul, damage a child, and make lonesome those that feel different.  The words we choose to use and think can plant seeds that will take root and grow.

There was an incident a couple of years ago that haunts me still today.  I was at a family center and this big eyed, heartbreakingly lovely little boy around 4 or so was crying.  It was pandemonium in there, and he wasn't getting any immediate attention.  So, I sat on the steps and let him sniffle his way over to me.  He didn't say anything, just climbed into my lap and let the tears continue to shudder out of him.  He finally quieted and called someone a “stupid head”.  I just looked at him and his face twisted again and he asked me “what is a …..” (Now, you know that I choose to not use words that are negatively charged.  Hate words, don't come out of my mouth… not even to explain) Let's just say that he asked me what a vile racial slur was.  I froze for a moment and savagely beat back the tears.  I was so enraged and I didn't want him to own that anger as his own when I was mad at the “stupid head” he was upset with.  I finally just said “It is a word that people choose to use when they do not have any love in their heart.”  It is the only accurate definition I have for that particular word…. and a few other choice word weapons.

The words we choose to use with others absolutely will reflect the state of our hearts.  The words we choose to use can uplift or damage.  Language, in all of its forms is what fuels hope.  Language in all its form is what fuels fear.  And it all comes down to the decision to use the words that expand or limit another human being.

When children hear the word hate at two times the rate they hear love…. What hope are we offering them?  When children hear their parent's say, “Quit bothering me”…. It becomes the sound of hope stifled if not killed.

We have words designed to put down, wrap up and tie you in the box that will keep you from ever owning your path in this life.  They frequently start with the phrase “you're such a” and end with “but no offense” or “but I pray for them - I hold no judgment”.  Words that speak in absolutes when all of nature supports the exception.  Sometimes people wrap it all up behind ideology and twist the words of a particular religion to further destroy the hope in people.  I know it sounds funny to try to use religion to destroy hope, but it is almost like sounding the dinner bell to some people.  (note, that I am not talking about faith.  Sometimes they do intertwine with religion and that makes me feel pretty optimistic.  Frequently… religion has nothing whatsoever to do with love or hope or faith.  Just another way to frame words to stifle hope in others).

Hateful words.  Frightened words.  Words designed to keep the world at bay.  I hate.  I can't.  I won't.  You shouldn't.  Words used in hushed gossip that robs all involved of their humanity and their dignity.

What a different world it will be when we choose to use words that expand our hearts and our options.  Words like:  I enjoy this about you.  I see you.  I accept you.  I choose.  I understand.  I care.

I do not know many things that can kill hope more quickly than barbed words from a heart that will not choose love.  Or twisted words intended to harm and batter.  Or manipulative words used to keep the rest of the world out.

On a Global scale, we can change the world by attending to our personal responsibility and choosing words that support and enhance the lives of those around us.  When honor and dignity are the criteria for what you choose to say to another.  When we, the people, can choose humanity over the vicious use of language in the desperate need to be “right”. 

On a personal front…. I change the world in the light of my own being.  The words that I choose can expand the path before me and call in a widening arc of light.  There are a great many things I do not agree with or believe, and if I can begin with the focus of humility and the shred of possibility that I may not know the whole story just because I'm pretty certain of the chapter I am on…. well, I've given room for everyone to grow… me probably the most of all.

Hope lives where there is light.  So, choose the words that illuminate!

And that is the way I see it today!  I remember sitting in room number 9 and saying “Andrea, I believe that the things you choose to focus on… the things that have your attention… they are the things that spell your INTENTION”.

I believe that more today than I did at the time.  When my attention is on honoring those around me, my intention is to do the same.  When my attention shifts to judgments and people sized boxes… well, my intention is to wield those judgments to put people in those boxes.  Today I choose to foster hope.  I choose to love because I can.  I choose honor.  It is what has my attention!

Re: WORD WORD WORD and HOPE

That was beautiful, Jill! I cried! I heard those very hurtful and hateful things every day for the past 11 years! So much so, I find it very excrutiating to simply say, “Thank you” to a genuine heartfelt compliment! How sad is that?