Gaia: Sacred Walk - Acceptance

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:40:58 GMT

Hi Al - welcome to the group.

I am hearing my aunt in my head saying "Drop it" to a dog she was working with years ago. I think if you can't change it or accept it... dropping it is a good idea!

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://southern-comfort.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 05:36:30 GMT

I have a plaque above my desk which has been with me for about 20 years. When I find myself in a 'judging' mood, I look up and see this "saying" on the plaque:

"If you can't change it or accept it....then forget it."

This tends to get my feet back on the ground, and also tends to support 'a realistic understanding of what is truthfullly there."

Carpe Diem,
Al

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:49:11 GMT

I love the discussion you have going on here. I think acceptance in parenting is one of the most soulful and rewarding things you can do. And hardest, perhaps.

When I started this thread I had a definition for acceptance. I do not believe I have changed my ideas about it in the ensuing year plus. I said acceptance was:

A realistic understanding of what is truthfully there.

It doesn't mean agreement. It doesn't mean validation or approval. It means an honesty in being able to own what is in front of you.

I think with children or loved ones, being able to accept what they are doing and who they are is important. Approval when it comes to behavior is best kept focused on the behavior. In my own life, when I can accept my foibles, it does not limit me from attending to them or shifting my behavior if needed to be more in alignment with my own values.

How do you hold acceptance and disapproval? Let's say the loved one is spiraling through addiction. You can accept that is where they are at, love who they are, and not approve of the choices they are making. How do you keep that all clean? Now let's say that the loved one has just achieved straight A's in college and maintained a job on the side. How do you offer acceptance for where they are, love who they are and approve of their choices without making the love held in the middle sound like a condition to be met?

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://maddonni.gaia.com — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:52:40 GMT

If I can accept myself fully, then accepting others comes naturally. Usually the aspects of myself that I loathe the most are what I find hard to take in others. So, when I find myself disliking something about someone else, it is a good cue that this is an area I need to pay attention to for myself. Now if only that was as easy to do as it is to say!

Re: How would you define acceptance?

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:44:15 GMT

I think acceptance of self is probably the most important beginning towards accepting others. If we can honestly accept ourselves as we are...with all of our flaws, sins and not so pure thoughts...then... we can then start accepting those things in others. Sort of like the classic saying about judging...that we judge others by how we judge ourselves...or something like that...lol

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://maddonni.gaia.com — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:38:34 GMT

Acceptance is a verb I use every waking moment. Sadly, I find myself sleeping through a lot of moments, just going through the motions of daily life.

Acceptance isn't something others can give me. I can only give that to myself. Can other people accept me? Sure, but then that is something they give to themselves. If they don't accept me, who are they hurting? I don't have to be invested in whether others accept me or not. If I am, then that is me hurting myself, not them hurting me. Of course, the reality is that I -am- invested in certain people accepting me. That is work for me to do on me, not on them.

One challenging aspect of acceptance that I am working on right now has to do with accepting the roles in which I have placed myself. I am a mother. To actively accept that role I need to behave, to the best of my ability, as the best mother possible. What is possible? Can I accept my limits in my ability to be a good mother? How do I both do a good job as a mother and accept my child for who he or she is? When does acceptance mean insisting my child feel the consequences of their actions? When does it mean letting something go because that is just who they are?

Just some thoughts...

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:34:01 GMT

I started a few years ago saying "What is right in front of me?" If it wasn't what I was focused on, I would stop and re-center myself. I like your phrase.

Re: How would you define acceptance?

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 11:20:18 GMT

My new saying I carry around with me and have stuck on my dashboard is:
"BE HAPPY WITH TODAY....JUST AS IT IS!!!"

maybe my ego won't notice my, not so subtle attempt to retrain my mind!!!

peace...

Re: How would you define acceptance?

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 11:24:25 GMT

I still like the Serenity Prayer as a great example of acceptance. It sort of sums up alot of how I look at acceptance...fighting against things we can't change is futile, but changing the things we can is our responsibility....especially since we can't change others...only ourselves.

Re: Vulnerability

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 10:49:13 GMT

I keep hearing that line "there is nothing the human heart can't endure"... I believe that.

What a wonderful offering! Thank you.

Re: Vulnerability

http://dragonsbeard.gaia.com — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 00:33:53 GMT

A variation from a verse of the Tao Te Ching:

Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as [openess],
Yet nothing can better overcome the hard and strong,
For they can neither control nor do away with it.

The soft overcomes the hard,
The yielding overcomes the strong;
Every person knows this,
But no one can practice it.

......there is nothing that the human heart cannot endure.

----then on a different strain....what I find myself to fear (perhaps more than vulnerability) is great achievement.
Would you feel no fear if you woke tomorrow and realized you could "walk on water"?

The Descent of Inanna

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 22:50:01 GMT

I had a conversation with a friend of mine several months ago. She was talking about the tragedy of a young man's death. I stopped, and found myself compelled to honor a truth I think is seldom honored. Death is not a tragedy. It is an inherent and necessary gift in the cycle of life. It is a natural occurrence.

That doesn't discount grief or the powerful sense of loss that happens when someone you love passes from this life.

We move now to a discussion with my honey. We were both raised within a cultural framework that honors the cycles of life, including death. It is not a frightening and monstrous thing waiting to happen. There is simply an understanding for the rhythm of the Earth.

Human history is full of stories and aphorisms which honor this process of birth and death and rebirth.

I wanted to offer a story from the oldest recorded religion. The Pantheon of Inanna from Summeria. The Summerians were great record keepers. Not only did they keep records which evolved into astrology! (Yea), but they also handed down one of my favorite stories.

The Descent of Inanna. This story has been told in many ways and through many forms. It later years, Ishtar and Persephone came to personify this story. The beautiful gift of this tale in all of the forms it has taken is that it teaches that death is essential to the cycle of life. And so it is.

It starts with the tale of two sisters. Ereshkigal was the Goddess of the Underworld. None that came to her returned to the world above.

Inanna was the queen of Earth and Heaven. And truthfully, Inanna had some growing to do. She had strength and power and it lacked purity, being held within her ego.

She decided she would visit her sister within the underworld. Inanna was certain that nothing would happen to HER as she went below. (Kind of like the folks nowadays that seem to think they are chronically unique).

Ereshkigal was informed that Inanna was about to descend to visit with her. A great burden was formed, for her greater act of compassion was to have none. She told her guard that Inanna would need to follow the way in which it had always been.

And so, Inanna was allowed entrance the portals of kurnugia. Quickly she came to the first gate and was asked to surrender her crown. Inanna asked why that would be so. She was told that it was the required to the path of descending to the great underworld. And so, she gave the jewels upon her crown.

She continued on her journey. She found herself coming to a second gate. The guard required her to remove her earrings. She demanded to know why and she was told that it was the required path of descending to the great underworld. And so, she gave the jewels upon her ears.

Inanna was invited through the second gate and held her annoyance as she marched smartly forward. Did they not understand she was the Goddess and Queen of Heaven and Earth? Ereshkigal was her sister, for goodness sakes.

Inanna found herself coming to the third gate. Her heart began to flutter and she found her voice becoming hoarse. The guard demanded the necklace that surrounded her neck. She tried to muster some of her earlier confidence and asked why. She was told that it was the required path of descending to the great underworld. And so, she gave of the jewels that surrounded her neck.

About this time, Inanna had difficulty remembering why she had decided to do this. No one told her that the descent would require sacrifice of her or leave her feeling more exposed than she'd wanted to feel.

And yet... the fourth gate abruptly appeared and her heart sank. The guard demanded the broach that was her toggle pin upon her breast. Her hands shook a little as she offered the jewel upon her breast. The guard kindly reminded her that it was the required path of descending to the great underworld.

She wandered down the path for quite a while and came to the fifth gate. She asked the guard how many portals there were to kurnugia. Seven, he replied. She told him that she did not have much left to give and he said... yet, I do require the girdle of birth stones that covers your loins. Inanna was shocked and said "Why that?" He told her that it was the required path of descending to the great underworld. And so Inanna surrendered the jewels that proudly rested on her seat of fertility.

By this time, Inanna was not entirely certain that she could offer anything else. They'd had all they would receive of her. Ereshkigal was her sister! She was a Goddess.

The fifth gate of Kurnugia loomed ahead. The guard indicated that he would need the bangles that adorned her wrist and her feet. Inanna simply looked at him and he said that it was the required path of descending to the great underworld. And so, Inanna gave of the jeweled bangles that touched her wrist and her ankles.

Dejected and utterly annoyed with herself for coming down to see her sister, Inanna found herself at the last and final gate. She had no stones, whatsoever to offer in sacrifice. The guard required her garments. What? She said. No one may ever approach the great power of the Goddess without being stripped naked to stand as he or she is. I must ask for your clothing for it is the required path of descending to the great underworld.

Inanna found herself approaching the great chamber of Ereshkigal in her naked and vulnerable state. And still, she had no humility for she believed herself to be outside the laws of nature. Ereshkigal felt her arrogance and sadly turned away her face of compassion. When she turned to her sister, her face had become the destroyer. The Goddess that would bring death and decay.

"How dare you believe yourself to be greater than the laws of nature", Ereshkigal's mighty voice swelled in the cavernous room. Inanna was struck dumb. She began to understand her arrogance and yet, Ereshkigal was not finished. "There is no return path, Inanna" and with that she pulled the life from her sister and hung Inanna's corpse on a meat hook.

Day passed into night and into day above the Earth. Three Days had passed without Inanna and all things had ceased to grow. She had the foresight to tell her beloved servant where she was going and asked that she seek help from the gods should she not return.

And so it passed. Ereshkigal was reasoned with. Inanna held the keys to life upon the Earth and all life ceased growing and wombs became baron in the absence of her presence. Ereshkigal reminded one and all that respect for all of life's cycles included the death and decay that she offered. And so a balance was struck. Inanna's consort would sacrifice himself during portions of the year to gain Inanna release from the underworld.

Life was breathed fresh into Inanna and she was allowed to ascend. She brought the fullness of life back to the Earth. In those months that Inanna must once again return to honor her obligation, the Earth becomes dead and frozen. Waiting for the appearance of Inanna.

I love this story. It offers me the opportunity to question my own arrogance. How far from the cycles and laws of nature to I perceive myself to be? Can I honor and humble myself to allow myself to die into myself and rebirth, time and time again?

Can I surrender completely to the Source? Do I put on cloaks that keep me separate? Do I wear armor of any kind, even something as pretty as a bauble to define and keep me separate from the Divine? Am I willing to die to the will of the Divine? Or stand naked, stripped of my arrogance?

Re: Still Looking....

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Fri, 25 May 2007 20:31:43 GMT

That communication piece is certainly a place of growth for one and all. It ever I had a doubt that we were holistic beings it was dispelled when I started watching how words spoken and heard touch and change us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Re: Still Looking....

Fri, 25 May 2007 12:59:11 GMT

What do i find hard to accept in myself?

My struggle to communicate effectively
My lack of direction and focus on finding meaningful paying work

What do I find hard to accept in others?

Loudness
When others throw trash on Mother Earth

Re: Still Looking....

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 13:14:09 GMT

Good ones. (I think you'll find they are also understood by a great many folks)

Re: Still Looking....

http://enlightenedthinker.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:08:44 GMT

I have a host of things I am working on accepting about myself, primarily my discomfort with confrontation with others, especially authority figures. In others, I find it hard to deal with people who live their lives mired in their ego "dramas"..and ignorance and judgment.

Still Looking....

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 21:20:38 GMT

What do you find it hard to accept in yourself? What do you find it hard to accept in others?

REDEMPTION

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:18:00 GMT

There has been a theme lately in the conversations that I've had. It began in a conversation with my boyfriend about a movie. He said "I know why you like this movie so much". I laughed because I knew what he was about to say. I love an enormous diversity of movies, shows, songs, videos. The single two things they all hold in common are the themes of hope and redemption.

The picture that I am posting today is one of my own (naturally, the copyright belongs to me.) It is a prayer for healing, which I believe is redemption. The price of redemption is accountability and action. The gift of redemption is healing. In my chapter on healing I had written this:

"I do remember when I broke through. When I felt healing soothe my soul and shift my being. When my behavior became more in alignment with who I am. I felt the winged brush of love touch me and the world around me shifted. I now hungered for growth. I grew hopeful in my change. I felt empowered and at peace"

I continue to hunger for growth. I thrive on the freedom it offers me. I am nourished in the welcome blessing I receive through my own redemption, time and time again.

I picked the egg to symbolize that process of healing. It is such perfection to me. When you feel the shell cracking, it can be so easy to identify with that as being YOU. And it is uncomfortable. (At best it is uncomfortable). It is the only way to birth the life that is held back by the barrier of the shell.

A few days after my honey made the movie comment, I was on the phone with someone I have watched struggle with the cracking of his own shell. Let's also call the shell Ego. Eckhart Tolle refers to it as the "Pain body". My friend said that I could be very hard on some things and then embody compassion in greater measure than he'd experienced before. He said that he finally got it. When someone is engaged in trying to sell me BS, I have no mercy. (Truthfully, I have mercy, but not for the BS). But, when someone cracks that shell and they offer the vulnerability of their being... I honor that.

Personally, I don't know that I would say I'm hard. I am simply not buying the garbage. And oh.... How we can all sling the garbage in a desperate attempt to avoid the accountability needed for redemption.

I've watched people in my life throw away the friends that would reflect the truth to them. I've had friends throw away my friendship in the frenzy of trying to stop the shell from breaking.

I've watched people refuse the gift of redemption altogether and continue to live a life filled with drama and loss and hurt. Return to patterns that destroy the body and soul. Run from one relationship to another.

And yet.....

I love those movies that capture that moment of redemption because it is the birthright we are offered. Every single one of us is capable of healing the wounds that bind us. Every single one of us can heal the damage we have done to our lives. It simply takes one step. One step at a time.

Let the ego shatter. It isn't what is real. It never was.

Re: try to figure

http://BrytSpirit.gaia.com — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 03:46:32 GMT

> > to surrender- not cowardice but blissful. compliance is NEVER an option.

Re: try to figure

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 12:10:31 GMT

A lot of awesome imagry in what you have to say.

I love the image of the bansai. I'm discovering over time that the amazing thing is, as I heal the wounded parts in me, my understanding of God's love is filtered through something other than my own wounds. Turning my will over becomes an act of surrender based in trust and the very dawning understanding that the very best is what is in store for me when I do this.

Surrender isn't sacrifice and that is probably what I most appreciate understanding!