Gaia: Sacred Walk

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:40:58 GMT

Hi Al - welcome to the group.

I am hearing my aunt in my head saying "Drop it" to a dog she was working with years ago. I think if you can't change it or accept it... dropping it is a good idea!

Re: How would you define acceptance?

http://southern-comfort.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 05:36:30 GMT

I have a plaque above my desk which has been with me for about 20 years. When I find myself in a 'judging' mood, I look up and see this "saying" on the plaque:

"If you can't change it or accept it....then forget it."

This tends to get my feet back on the ground, and also tends to support 'a realistic understanding of what is truthfullly there."

Carpe Diem,
Al

Re: Marriage

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:58:33 GMT

This is so inspiring Jill. Thanks for sharing your joy with us. What a wonderful life!

Love,

Nicole

Re: Marraige

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:13:34 GMT

Hi Michelle... welcome!

I think that you hit the nail.... love is. and it is as silly as looking for air, when all you need to do is breath it in. If we surrender the shields we put in place, love is present. Communion is simply allowing the love to flow freely.

I am so glad I surrendered, stayed present and was invited to commune with this beautiful soul (husband!)

Re: Marriage

http://measton27.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:08:22 GMT

Michael,

What you've written is amazing. I think there are a lot of people out there who can benefit from the knowledge that they can stop "looking" for love and know that real connection cannot be sought after.

Re: Marriage

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:38:52 GMT

Recently Deborah asked me how married life was....

It has been over a year since I last wrote here about this subject and I thought I would answer her and fill in the rest of the story...

I am so incredibly thrilled that I have been on a healing journey for decades. In that time I have seen the evolution of me as a person and me in relationship. I have addressed my own fears about commitment and learned to stand just a little more naked and vulnerable. To honor how I feel. A year ago, I felt like my marriage was effortless. Two years ago I felt like my relationship was effortless.

In the intervening year.... nothing has changed except a deeper willingness to honor communion with my husband. It continues to be effortless. People who know me are now asking HOW. And I have thought long and hard about what is different about the way my husband and I approach things and the way that I see other couples engage. Here is what I see:

1) Vijai and I are focused on building a life together. The holistic health of our family is vitally important. We are dedicated to communion.

2) We are each accountable for how we feel and perceive life. There is not dependency on the other one to change how we feel inside.

3) We spend time every single day honoring what we love and appreciate about the other. There is ZERO time given to tearing each other down.

4) Name calling, even in jest, is not part of our lives.

5) We engage in a spiritual practice together.

6) When we do not agree about a perspective, method, idea.... we honor that. Sometimes our best ideas come out of how we each see something differently.

7) Affection is a natural outpouring of our relating to each other. It is never given as a reward, withheld as punishment, or only used to comfort each other. It is as easily given as a smile.

8) We spend time every single day gazing into each others eyes. Most especially when we're having a hard time looking at ourselves.

9) We are not competitive with each other. I have never seen a couple that handles that in a healthy fashion. It usually just creates division.

10) We have family meetings to go over things that are upcoming, like budget, needs, travel, etc. It keeps things from boiling up.

11) We laugh. We seek laughter. We let the silly out!

12) We own up to feeling sheepish or shy if it comes up. And we use those moments of opportunity to truly stand naked and be seen by another human being that dearly loves who we are.

So... it is a mindful path. And it is joyful and effortless.

Re: Quit Playing Small

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:38:01 GMT

Oh wonderful Deb, the best of both worlds. It's fun to meet you all over Gaia. I'm not being nearly as productive but I'm giving myself permission for that at the moment. Must be productive for the rest of the day :)

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Quit Playing Small

http://yhd52754.gaia.com — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 03:19:01 GMT

Nicole,

I know that is true for me, big trouble, but I'm trying to balance. Doing fantastic after posting this, More productive than I've been in days.

And still here playing around Gaia.

Deb

Re: Quit Playing Small

http://singerseeker.gaia.com — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

Jill, good to see you again, it has been a while since I've been here.

Deb, being on Gaia isn't doing anything? Some of us are in big trouble :)

Jessica and Dhyan, that quote is fantastic, but it's actually by Marianne Williamson Source: A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Quit Playing Small

http://yhd52754.gaia.com — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:25:41 GMT

Jill,

I smiled to see your group pop up in my currently active list. How's married life? Is it still good and very good?

I really like what Jessica says here - Humility is precious but . . . . we are disrepectful to . . . our deity/ies when we dismiss and disregard our gifts and abilities.

Now, to find a way to make use of that thought, within the context of my life . . . and to your thoughts, Jill, some good lines for me to begin questioning why I can't seem to get what I "know" I really, really need to get done. Why am I dragging ?

So, now to stop playing around Gaia and focus on one small thing I could actually get done today . . .

Deb

Re: Quit Playing Small

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:55:00 GMT

When I've hit places where I can feel myself curling up and not extending to what I want and am capable of doing...

I invite the gentle in. In my life, if battering myself or finding ways to kick myself in the butt were going to work... they'd have seriously worked a long time ago. Sometimes what I really need is a moment or two to breath and sort things out...

Like, WHY am I withdrawing? Is it fear based. If it is fear based, what is motivating that....

The second thing I do... is I quit trying to take in the Final big picture, and I focus on the next small step. We psych ourselves out of achieving what we want when we make the focus the final product. When I wrote my book, I stayed focused on the chapter I was on. When I work on art projects, I am in the present moment... Sure, I have an idea for where I wish to be going, but my focus is on this moment and time and the one thing I am able to do today.

Excuses - for me - come out of being afraid and of trying to achieve the whole thing NOW. When I start making baby steps, I quit making excuses.

Re: Quit Playing Small

http://chanteyrose.gaia.com — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 08:43:25 GMT

Oh good! Dhyan brought up the Nelson Mandela quote - very fitting for the thread topic. :-)

"Quit Playing Small" immediately translates into "Quit Making Excuses" in my mind. Freedom remains out of our grasp when we give in to our limitations and accept stagnance from the hand we've been dealt. When we refuse to grow and find reasons as to why we can't ("won't"), we have turned our backs on our freedom. Humility is precious but I believe we are disrespectful to ourselves, the world, and frankly, our deity/ies when we dismiss and disregard our gifts and abilities.

To answer your question, I am playing small because I feel myself withdrawing from what I am capable of doing, and worse: what I want to be doing. I'm aware of this, but am growing tired of wading in the rising waters.

How have you overcome situations like these?

Re: The Four Agreements

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:40:20 GMT

Deby,
You're wonderful to me. I apologize for not being around much lately. I am about to launch my website and put my artwork up for sale. Busy, busy, busy.

Re: The Four Agreements

http://yhd52754.gaia.com — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:39:23 GMT

Jill,

I just posted a link to this thread in the Gaia Networking pod here -

http://pods.gaia.com/z_network/discussions/view/350123#358172

My pleasure to promote your beautiful space here.

Deborah

Re: James: Teacher of The Path

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:37:59 GMT

Welcome James!

What a wonderful way to introduce yourself!

James: Teacher of The Path

http://jamesbaquet.gaia.com — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:36:58 GMT

Hi, Everybody!

I love the idea of this pod!

In my own teaching, I emphasize that "all things, at all times, teach": There are lesssons in everything fromliterature and films, to mosquitos and air conditioning.

The key is to see the walk as sacred.

And let's not forget the literal walk. As an obese 53-year-old with diabetes and high blood-pressure, it's imperative that I lose some--OK a LOT of--weight. And so I walk.

Living in a city in southern China, I find the walk is sometimes challenging: heat and humidity, traffic, pollution, poor behavior. But just as often, I see the granny with her granddaughter, the lovers out for a stroll, the joy at a chance encounter of old friends.

These things renew my dedication to walking.

You can read more about me at my Gaia profile, where I blog regularly.

You can also find me on my personal homepages, www.jamesbaquet.com (where I blog more extensively) and jamesbaquet.ning.com (with forums, e-courses, and free essays).

I'm fairly new to Gaia, and would enjoy meeting "friends" with common ideas. And of course, I'll see you all here in the group!

peace,
James

Re: How Many Loves Does it Take to Find the One?

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 00:01:29 GMT

Despite the late posting, I thought I'd throw in my two cents in on this thread. It was very interesting to me to read the word 'soulmate'. Allow me a prefacing moment to say that I don't believe in such a thing. I don't believe in perfect compatibility, and I don't think that the perfect relationship exists. Alright, the point is out there. Now, let me explain.

As is often the theme in my thought processes, I believe in the force of my will in my life. It is sufficient to change my world such that I can be happy. I don't entrust my life to Fate, either. If it exists, I'm sure She would rather I not be conscious of her anyway. Thus, in relationships, I don't think there really is a 'right one'. What one has to hope for is someone who feels the same about love and commitment. The rest will fall into place.

In my opinion, differences or incompatiblities are not failures or black marks on the potential happiness of a relationship. Rather, they are opportunities for companions to learn something new and enjoy it in a way they might never have before. Example: my ex-girlfriend loves riding motorcycles. I've only ever ridden a dirt-bike, so I'm not sure if I would enjoy riding a cruiser. However, I was more than excited to try. I've never met a life experience I've turned away from unless I felt it would harm someone. Though I hadn't really thought of riding a real bike, my ex had brought the idea to the forefront of my mind. It was something new that I might have thoroughly enjoyed, not an incompatibility to be lamented.

I guess the point here is that you're not looking for 'the One'. You're looking for someone who is willing to work through problems and hold steady in both happiness and sadness. Both of the two feelings are dead certainties in your life. If you and your significant other can survive them, the rest will flourish. At least, that's my thought from my small world.

Depth, Change, Questioning

http://dhyan-salima.gaia.com — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:52:35 GMT

3 words for today:

depth
change
questioning

I have been questioning anything and everything in my life for the last weeks and months. I think some questioning is good and productive, other parts border onto wallowing in negativity. What I have learned through everything is that I need to control my mind and not dive into all the negativity waiting around the corner. But using my awareness and focusing on thinking things through and looking for what needs to change every day will move me forward in a very positive way. And depth is what I have been focused on today because I find when I stay centered inside myself then I find solutions easier, it is easier to have a feeling and ideas about what I need to change to create positive forward movement.

So, a day, weeks, months of lots of learning.

Re: Free is what we are

http://jillianne.gaia.com — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:39:01 GMT

I just finished editing the chapter on Freedom in my book. It boils down to what you said.... When I am simply who I am and I allow that room to soar... I am free.

I love the life that I have. I am determined to live in love with each drop of my life and to ferret out great moments of the mundane where joy lives.

I love that you offered this! Freedom is such an exquisite necessity to fulfill our obligation to this life!

Re: How Many Loves Does it Take to Find the One?

http://thesearch.gaia.com — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 01:06:32 GMT

Well said!

I believe that we must be as honest and kind with ourselves as we can be and as honest and kind as we can be with each other. Even with both people making those efforts to a greater or lesser extent (you know we all have those crap days when we are not doing so well), we will still have growth and change. We just seem to fear change and cling to the idea of permanence (our partner staying the same 'ol way). Therein lies the rub.
Throw in family and the world and it seems maybe we should just visit each other every once in a while.
But, on the other hand, the love built from a long term investment is built on knowledge of each other and history. Every thing that people have gone through together, good and bad is a tie between them. Ironically, sometimes the worst things are what bind people the tightest.

But then I'm still single too. Ha ha ha!