Love and Boundaries

Topic came up the other day about what love is and accountability.  I think my views are pretty widely known.  What I am interested in is hearing from you all on this subject!

Re: Love and Boundaries

Contrary to the belief of some, love is not a transient comodiy. Love is the happy state we receive from god, it is the natural state of every soul and the state to which it wants to return.

Everybody wants to feel loved, this is because it is the natural state of the soul. Love is the dinine will of god, when we fulfill the divine will we exist within the condition of god's will, when we fulfill a part of the devine will, this is individual will.

Love does not mean infatuation, nor does it mean trust in another. In the relationship between two it means to which level we help each other to fulfill the divine will. We do this by giving of ourself for the happiness of the other and by creating this state of happiness we receive grace to fulfill the divine will.

However, giving is not a condition we should save for those who we would like to love. The more we make others, whoever and where ever they may be, happy, the more grace we receive and in return the happier we become ourselves. Hence, the manifestation of love is the creation of happiness. By doing this we fulfill the purpose of life. 

Re: Love and Boundaries

Love is freedom from fear to me.

Boundaries…we all need ‘em, especially if we are to be free to love.

I am attempting to be short purposefully.Trying zen.

Re: Love and Boundaries

:-)

Thank you both for sharing.  It begins to become a beautifully textured tapestry to me.

Re: Love and Boundaries

Love and approptiate boundaries is a very  subjective matter, but what I feel may be a great topic within this one is Love and Resistance. We all have love and plenty of resistance to allowing at many levels, what I feel becomes boundaries between deeper and deeper connection is not allowing the resistances to have space to give them breath so that they can dissolve. When we resist resistance an even larger barrior is created  and love becomes work. I find when we allow the resistance space we allow love at deeper levels.

Re: Love and Boundaries

How do you differentiate between resistance and boundaries. Or do you?

Re: Love and Boundaries

Love is compassion without boundaries. The only boundaries I experience in terms of loving are the ones I erect out of my own self-centered thought and behavior.

EEEK, no boundaries????

What is a boundary? I see it as an artificial construct that helps to define my separateness from others. Is that helpful in my life or in loving others? Not so far.

What about co-dependence and all those other situations where a line between self and other appears to be crossed? Well, would you call that love? I can have compassion for people who lash out at me through their own unhealthy thoughts and behavior and still not participate in it with them.

My love can have no boundaries. My behavior, as an expression of my love, will have limits based on what I define as the most compassionate or loving action in that particular circumstance.

Re: Love and Boundaries

Thank you!

I want to hear from others and then I may simply post my chapter on compassion.  I become a much richer woman when I honor the ideas and knowledge of others.  And I was intrigued by what you said!

Re: Love and Boundaries

Love, accountability and boundaries.

Boundaries are rough for me. I spend a great deal of time alone because my boundaries are so… loose. I’m very connected to everything around me and generally, if someone is upset, happy, sad, angry or whatever- I feel it very strongly. Also, I feel their beliefs very strongly. It can be very hard for me to say “no” to someone. So… while connection may be an aspect of love… i don’t think it is love. Love is something… more mysterious and beautiful. Open-ended. Love is like a question.

There is something else.

What is accountability? I like this word. I like responsibility, too. Blame, on the other hand… not so useful to me. If I were to define accountability, I would say- that state in which blame does not exist.

Love in this context… my cat, Lucy, follows me everywhere. I walk to work about a quarter mile away- building a house for the next door neighbor and taking care of animals (donkies, horses). Lucy follows me out there in the morning. If I forget to take a lunch break, she insists I go home around oneish. Then we go back to work. Once- during a moderate flood- I was working about a mile away to fix a burst irrigation canal up on a steep hill when I heard her meowing frantically nearby…. in the pouring Oregonian rain! She was soaking wet- and must have swam part of the way. Unheard of behavioiur for a cat. I picked her up and trudged home with her under my coat. We had soup and chatted about the dangers of such adventures. Imagine the worried constriction in my throat at those meows so far away from home. And I think that pretty much wraps up love and accountability.

Boundaries in this: I have a friend tibetan mastiff dog named Puddy. Puddy is HUGE. He weighs maybe 180 lbs. He’s *supposed* to be a gaurd dog for livestock, but he forgets generally and wags his tail at passing evil-doer cougars and humans. Sometimes, he wanders outside of his owner’s property (hum dee dum)- as though 120 acres wasn’t enough. Then, I hunt him down and growl at him. One of the neighbors will shoot him if possible. I love Puddy so I growl at him sometimes. This is a boundary and it is composed of love.

Ooka ooka,
davie-the-unwise

Re: Love and Boundaries

Davie - the incredible and wise…..

I have so much to say about this, but also want to let others weigh in.  This offered a brilliance!