Fear and Hope

I was shocked to hear someone say to me recently that he worked very hard to not hope for anything.  “that way I'm not disappointed.”

I was agast.  Hope sustains me in all ways.  How do you feel about hope?  Where do you find it when you are discouraged?  What happens to hope when you are afraid?

Re: Fear and Hope

I wonder if he meant, he tried not to hold any expectation for something. There is a difference I think. If we expect, we then can be disappointed. What we have hope for does not meet our expectations.

There is a Chekhov short story called:”In Exile”. An exiled prisoner tries to tell a newly exiled Siberian prisioner that he should accept his fate so he will not live in disappointment. By accepting his fate, he can work to live in the reality he must inhabit.

The younger man is aghast, (as you say Jill) that he wants him to give up hope. This older man is seen as callous and cold. Truth is, the man had no way of escape or release from his Siberian “prison”. To have his wife be sentenced to coming there would be cruel. The old man had seen it over and over. He tells him over and over and over that “he’ll get used to it”. Sometimes, in light of circumstances it is cruel to hope for something that will nver “be” keeping us mired in the belief things will change. Sometimes, we need to face a very different reality. This older man was only trying to save this younger man from the despair he suffered. But…we have to always learn for ourselves!

Expectations, cripple us sometimes. Different from hope, we sometimes see them as the same thing.

Re: Fear and Hope

I agree with the idea of releasing expectations.  This wasn't what he'd been talking about.  It was the fear to hope at all.  It was more of a “Why bother” and “Hope will crush you”….. which just said 'victim mentality' to me.

When I surrendered to the Divine and honored the hope I would find the man for me… I also let go of expectation on who that would be and how he would enter my life and simply opened myself up for something miraculous.  I think that is how I would differentiate hope and expectation.

Do you know where I can find a copy of “In Exile”?

Re: Fear and Hope

Ok..yes, a much different thing. Yes, it does sound like a victim mentality, but it also speaks to lack of faith and also fear. I have felt this way before, it was during a “Dark Night of my Soul” and hopefully this will change for this person in time.

You can go to Project Gutenberg to get this story and download it free since Anton Chekhov is an older writer and past the copyright laws.

He has about 2000 short stories, I must warn you, but it should be there. I have my students download it from there. If not: google “in exile by chekhov.” You will find it. It is 6-8 pages I think.

Re: Fear and Hope

Awesome.  I will do that.

I've had that constricting fear that preceeds the dark night of the soul.  There are moments too intensely painful to eek out the space held in faith.

Best book I have ever read on matters of faith and hope in the most dire of all circumstances is a book by Immaculee Ilibagiza.  It is called “LEFT TO TELL”.  She survived the Rwandan genocide after spending over 90 days in a tiny bathroom with 7 other women while her neighbors screamed her name and searched for her as one more “cockroach” they were intent on killing.  She emerged at 65 pounds and filled with a faith and hope that still brings me to my knees.

Most hopeful and beautiful book I've read!

Re: Fear and Hope

WOW..sounds like one I shall have to read..and maybe share with my students eventually….
Thanks