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Quit Playing Small

Jill said Aug 30, 2006, 5:34 AM:

Sometimes I play smaller than I am and describe a journey and a purpose that is mitigated.

It is one of the chains I use to keep me bound. And I am letting that go. Just letting it go.

I will no longer downplay my gifts or play small with my purpose. I have too many things to do, and will not use my time in that fashion.

So…. here is my question. Do you ever feel like you play small? When do you become aware of it?

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Re: Quit Playing Small

Katrina [no longer around] said Aug 30, 2006, 8:55 AM:

Hi Jill,

I often wonder how much what i offer is going to make things happen in a large way… I play small because that is where it seems I can actually make a difference…

Of course, I am the first person to encourage others to set their intentions to reach the heights of success-whatever that may be for them…

I think growing up in a small town also keeps my thoughts and actions in a small pond type of container…

This is a great thought provoking question…

Hugs
Kati

Re: Quit Playing Small

Jill said Aug 30, 2006, 3:47 PM:

I identified so much with what you said here, Kati. I grew up on and off reservations and in rural areas and was raised in a culture that wouldn't jump to the forefront. It is a combined strength that makes us strong.

And it feels like I have gathered the essence of humility in not thinking I am greater than others. But I have dishonored that lessen by sometimes feeling like my wants, needs, wishes and gifts are not necessary. Humility is also owning the greatness that contributes to who we are.

Thank you for adding your perspective. I love the conversation!

Re: Quit Playing Small

Katrina [no longer around] said Sep 5, 2006, 9:18 AM:

Thanks Jill,

I feel as if getting ready to turn 40 is a huge turning point for me… a kind of spiritual kick in the rump-an energy around me right now that is prodding me to make some choices… put away some old dreams and embrace some new ones…

Though at the moment I am not certain what they are… I know my family is important to me… helping children is important to me.. but not as important as it was in my 20's and 30's…

I am looking at my North Node in Taurus which sits on the cusp of 5th and 6th house and trying to move forward with being more focused on soul growth…

Re: Quit Playing Small

SmokingBear said Sep 8, 2006, 6:43 PM:

When you and I talk about you're “being small”, it is so hard for me to imagine. But, I also know it is true.

Another thing I know is that in many ways you are larger than life. Especially in the way you share.

You're right…..your upbringing on the Rez taught you humility, how to walk in a Warrior's footsteps. This culture has called you forward to bring that energy to the fore and to share that which you have learned.

Small, Jilli? Not in my eyes.

Re: Quit Playing Small

Dhyan Salima said Feb 20, 2008, 3:16 PM:

Hi Jill,

loved your example and your question in so many ways.

First I had to think about letting go. Letting go in my eyes is a great spiritual quality to try to master. It always translates to me changing out of some illusion about myself or others or about a certain situation, accepting the truth and changing into the light. Somehow there always seems more to learn about letting go and sometimes it is not so easy and old habits break through again. I am always trying to get more awareness about how I can let go more and change more.

Also, when reading your entry I had to think about 2 of my favorite quotes:

1. ”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented or fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t save the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Nelson Mandela 1994

2. “Look for the most humble way to deal with every situation.”

Kalindi

I don't know you very much yet but from the little interactions that we have had you always seem to be a very graciously humble (and really, really nice :-) ) person. Personally I am sometimes wondering what is true humility and when is it really playing small or hiding. I guess, one has to do with love and the other with fear.

Re: Quit Playing Small

Jill said Feb 21, 2008, 4:34 PM:

I have given this one so much thought. I think that humility is being centered. It is not grasping at being more and it is not playing smaller. It is the act of simply being.

I had to really laugh that you picked this thread to read through. I spent the day traveling and having an internal conversation with myself about playing small. Perfection in timing.

I love the work of Eckart Tolle. What I realized today was that I simply needed to let go of the definitions of who I believe I am or fear you will see me to be and simply be in this moment. Unguarded. At center. Humble!

Re: Quit Playing Small

Nicole said Feb 22, 2008, 3:35 AM:

That's exactly it. Another definition I remember by CS Lewis, something like humility is an architect looking at a tremendous building he designed and admiring with the same fervour he would have if someone else had designed it… not more, not less…

humility is realistic, it's seeing ourselves as we are in our glories and weaknesses, without shame or boasting.

love,

nicole

Re: Quit Playing Small

Jill said Feb 22, 2008, 6:57 PM:

Nicole, I like that. I have found when I do my art pieces, if I step back and simply allow myself to enjoy what I enjoy without beginning to define it as good or bad or worry about what others would view my art as…. the present moment and the experience of the arrangement of colors and shapes is thoroughly enjoyable, no matter how beautiful or flawed the piece of art is.

Re: Quit Playing Small

Enlightenment_Advisor said Mar 6, 2008, 9:52 PM:

When I accept the frustration brought on by competition in a field where i have clearly stepped my boundaries, I play exceptionally small, knowing I could not have leapt and bounded over it. However usually I also resist the inadequate feeling of insignificance when I knew once before I captivated them … and I will harness that motivational force and use it again.

Re: Quit Playing Small

Jill said Mar 9, 2008, 12:06 PM:

Say a little more, Erica…. I am not sure that I am understanding. (Welcome to my weekend! LOL)

Re: Quit Playing Small

Jessica said Apr 3, 1:43 AM:

Oh good! Dhyan brought up the Nelson Mandela quote - very fitting for the thread topic. :-)

“Quit Playing Small” immediately translates into “Quit Making Excuses” in my mind. Freedom remains out of our grasp when we give in to our limitations and accept stagnance from the hand we've been dealt. When we refuse to grow and find reasons as to why we can't (“won't”), we have turned our backs on our freedom. Humility is precious but I believe we are disrespectful to ourselves, the world, and frankly, our deity/ies when we dismiss and disregard our gifts and abilities.

To answer your question, I am playing small because I feel myself withdrawing from what I am capable of doing, and worse: what I want to be doing. I'm aware of this, but am growing tired of wading in the rising waters.

How have you overcome situations like these?

Re: Quit Playing Small

Jill said Apr 7, 10:55 AM:

When I've hit places where I can feel myself curling up and not extending to what I want and am capable of doing…

I invite the gentle in. In my life, if battering myself or finding ways to kick myself in the butt were going to work… they'd have seriously worked a long time ago. Sometimes what I really need is a moment or two to breath and sort things out…

Like, WHY am I withdrawing? Is it fear based. If it is fear based, what is motivating that….

The second thing I do… is I quit trying to take in the Final big picture, and I focus on the next small step. We psych ourselves out of achieving what we want when we make the focus the final product. When I wrote my book, I stayed focused on the chapter I was on. When I work on art projects, I am in the present moment… Sure, I have an idea for where I wish to be going, but my focus is on this moment and time and the one thing I am able to do today.

Excuses - for me - come out of being afraid and of trying to achieve the whole thing NOW. When I start making baby steps, I quit making excuses.

Re: Quit Playing Small

debyemm said Apr 7, 12:25 PM:

Jill,

I smiled to see your group pop up in my currently active list. How's married life? Is it still good and very good?

I really like what Jessica says here - Humility is precious but … . we are disrepectful to … our deity/ies when we dismiss and disregard our gifts and abilities.

Now, to find a way to make use of that thought, within the context of my life … and to your thoughts, Jill, some good lines for me to begin questioning why I can't seem to get what I “know” I really, really need to get done. Why am I dragging ?

So, now to stop playing around Gaia and focus on one small thing I could actually get done today …

Deb

Re: Quit Playing Small

Nicole said Apr 7, 1:27 PM:

Jill, good to see you again, it has been a while since I've been here.

Deb, being on Gaia isn't doing anything? Some of us are in big trouble :)

Jessica and Dhyan, that quote is fantastic, but it's actually by Marianne Williamson Source: A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Hugs,

Nicole

Re: Quit Playing Small

debyemm said Apr 7, 8:19 PM:

Nicole,

I know that is true for me, big trouble, but I'm trying to balance. Doing fantastic after posting this, More productive than I've been in days.

And still here playing around Gaia.

Deb

Re: Quit Playing Small

Nicole said Apr 8, 6:38 AM:

Oh wonderful Deb, the best of both worlds. It's fun to meet you all over Gaia. I'm not being nearly as productive but I'm giving myself permission for that at the moment. Must be productive for the rest of the day :)

Hugs,

Nicole