Jill : Heartful Service

Honor in letting go

Jill said Jan 10, 2007, 6:28 PM:
 





I've discovered that to allow something to shatter offers the opportunity to grow and develop in ways that trying to keep it all together will never offer.  Particularly situations with people I care about.  I will hold fast and defend and honor and glue and try, try, try to keep the cracks from creating a shattering effect.  How much time would I save if I allowed the cracking vessel to shatter, and understood how very little control I have over another person's participation in a dynamic?


I do believe that vulnerable, open and honest communication are healing agents in all kinds of relationships.  Where I needed to grow and develop an understanding is the idea that I can hold someone else's end up as well.


I kept asking myself… “when do you know when it is time to let go” and then I remembered the difference between letting go and giving up.  Letting go is total surrender.  Giving up is holding onto something else instead.


So, I let go.  I let the things I worked so hard to glue together shatter.  And I am finding peace.  Grief, sure.  But utter peace.  No grasping at something else.  Nothing filling the void.  Just a surrender over something that needed to shatter.  I always held the belief that if someone was going to sabotage our relationship, I would confront and keep it from happening.  I would stay vigilant.  I would mindfully honor our friendship until that person could also honor it.  Perhaps it is the illusion of control that shattered the most.  Perhaps it was the friendship.  All I do know, is that I understand how very much I was trying to hold onto.  And how very little I truly could control.


And in honoring what was present, I needed to also witness the destruction and honor that.  Allow that.  Let that go, too.  And in the midst of the ache, there is also peace.