1. Fear

1. My greatest fear is…
2. How fear effects my life
3. The worst thing that could happen if my fear is realised
4. What my fear teaches me

Re: 1. Fear

1. My greatest fear is… of losing my freedom
2. How fear affects my life..memories of situations where adults or peers tried to take my freedom of choice, need to be removed from my thoughts. Some are surfacing that could be past life/ ancestor / other beings' traumas. They need to be resolved.
3. The worst thing that could happen if my fear is realised…I'll remember “no one can take my freedom away” and escape mentally [which in itself is another fear!]
4. What my fear teaches me.. that each layer that is healed, causes deeper layers to come up. Till the whole of humanity heals, no one person can be fully without fear. It teaches me compassion, and keeps me aware of how much is unknown.

Re: 1. Fear

1. my greatest fear is… I see death as the ultimate loss
2. this effects my life by creating instinctual survival reactions and denial
3. the worst thing that can happen is … I will fall into the unknown. I guess ongoing denial the worst - but as death is inevitable, eventually it must be confronted. Though I guess people sometimes use drugs and all sorts to avoid being aware…  Thing is - I want to be conscious. My fear is all about not being conscious
4. my fear teaches me that I want to exist. I do not trust letting go of 'I'.

I am aware that the process of enlightenment requires this very letting go. This teaches me how profound the path is which this fear has opened up to me.
Therefore I realise how important it is to engage with this. I know that regardless of any intellectual or spiritual 'goals - this life as I know it will end. I realise this deeper awareness is helpful in that it leads me to take a more meaningful journey.

I cling to the known and fear the unknown. I look to the known for comfort. Assaji (True Eloquence) once gave me a thought to contemplate; the sun rises each day - not because I will it to - but because it is the nature of night to be followed by day. When i go to sleep at night, I do not fear, 'will day come tomorrow?'

This process also helps me work with other fears I have.

The fear of death probably became conscious when my father died when I was 7 years old. I found the religion of my environment expected me to have faith - but gave me no knowledge. There was a time I feared falling asleep at night because it reminded me of death. Slowly I grew accustomed to this fear and sleep came easily. The issue had simply become dormant. I was in denial to some extent, even while hurtling towards the inevitable.

My daughter, Gra-anna's death was part of an awareness process for me. I definitely experienced a sense of continuity of her being. This gave me some insight, although not at an intellectual level.

I practice this letting go process all the time as life presents opportunities and know it's crucial to have this practice. I am learning through the experiences life presents is that it's 'okay to let go'.

My instinct is to automatically grasp and try and catch myself if I sense I am falling. My spiritual awareness knows that it's okay to fall. My intellectual self brings useful aids like Assaji's tale of the sun rising every morning and working with the daily lessons Guru Life brings. Practice makes me clearer and stronger. This is my path, growing my awareness as much as I can. It's a process on the path to enlightenment.

Im sure I've left things out! I'll expand later if more thoughts come to me

Re: 1. Fear

Bowing at this deep sharing.

Re: 1. Fear

Both of you, Meenakshi and Hummingbird have awakened thoughts in me, memories that show me I connect with you at a deep level. Feer of death, fear of loss of freedom. I would add a third fear, that of becoming incapacitated to the point where I am dependant on someone else for my freedom of movement. I am also claustrophobic though not to the extent that I used to be.

I also recognise that sense of healing in a spiral, coming back and revisiting my pain but at a slightly higher level each time.

It affects my life in a positive way by making me try to stay healthy.

If I were to become incapacitated I would live even more inside and beyond my own head.

My fear is like any rational fear I think because it keeps me safe. It keeps me healthy because I act on it. I also have a respect for those who are incapacitated and want to be supportive in a way that doesnt take away their self esteem or diminish them in any way. That is what my fear teaches me.

Re: 1. Fear

Jenny, being incapacitated must be such a huge challenge. It does seem airing deep fears is one way, quite a healthy and probably crucial way of working with them.

Re: 1. Fear

1. My greatest fear is…  pain.  Emotional or physical, I am afraid that I will hurt or hurt others.
2. How fear effects my life:
I spend much of my time in thought trying to figure out how to avoid danger, avoid any situation that might cause me or others to feel horrible again.  This causes me to miss out on many things in life and to see life in a bad manner at times.
3. The worst thing that could happen if my fear is realised:
Losing my mind.  Losing my freedom.
4. What my fear teaches me:
The more I avoid danger, the harder it becomes to face and the more it seems prevalent in my life.

Re: 1. Fear

precious awareness unfolding, KJ

love