3. Anger

Re: 3. Anger

1. What makes me angry- if someone tries to control my schedule or tells me what to do or not to do.
2. Fear and pain are the feelings underlying anger. The cause of the pain/fear underlying my anger is…

that I don't like to be controlled. I chafed at control in childhood, but kept it so well hidden, that even I didn't realize it then. I never felt child-like, and my mother said that my favorite phrase was : “By myself.”

Yes, fear , pain, feeling that I've to look out and accomplish whatever I need to, without taking or expecting help. But I've found that I'm surrounded by love and help; so I rarely get angry and when I do, it's for a short burst of time. So…on to the next part of the labyrinth.

Confession: I had to ask my husband what makes me angry as i didn't remember; and he told me what and also why! Aren't I blessed?

Re: 3. Anger

O Meenakshi, Are we soul sisters? Acccording to my mother the phrase I said most often as a child was “I'll do it myself.” She found me annoying and frustrating because I was so independant. I got angry if anyone tried to show me how to do things. Now I get annoyed if people tell me that something must be done a particular way especially if I feel there is room for change or creative license.
I also feel I must do whatever I need to do without expecting any help and as a child I think I rejected help in anticipation that if I accept it the help will be withdrawn at any unexpected moment which for me was worse than not getting help in the first place.
Thats it. I am afraid that love will be withdrawn from me unexpectedly and try to avoid that.

Re: 3. Anger

Re: 3. Anger

Jenny, yes-  I can see that we feel similarly about getting help. My mother taught me to cook without needing recipes - as a creative exercise so I still enjoy it. And my Reiki teacher taught the traditions but didn't bind us by saying we “have” to do this or that. That helped a lot in staying engaged with it.
It's very perceptive of you to understand your reasons for not wanting or expecting help. Wow!

Re: 3. Anger

That happened to me too. I learned to cook with whatever was there and I learned reiki based on the Dianne Stein approach, which is more flexible.

Anna I also relate to what you are saying. Inequity and inequality affect me so I've learned that when I am affected by these things it means I have to act . I feel that if I am aware and reacting to injustice that is a sign that I must do something about it, that I am responsible. Anger in this instance is a sign that I am responsible for acting on it. So its a positive thing.

Re: 3. Anger

True, Jenny. Though I find when I watch movies, like for eg,  'The Constant Gardner' I find myself sitting with anger, a bit like being 'all dressed up and nowhere to go' - but obviously there are constructive ways of working with and directing these feelings

Re: 3. Anger

1. What makes me angry


People who refuse to listen to the views of others and always think they are right.  People who force these views on others despite arguments to the contrary.  People who wont admit when they are wrong and continue to argue or press a point, even when you are done arguing.

2. Fear and pain are the feelings underlying anger. The cause of the pain/fear underlying my anger is…


Not being understood.  Wishing to change the world but feeling that others are preventing the world from changing.  Afraid of being the target of someone's wrath and being punished.

Re: 3. Anger

It is hard to feel misunderstood. Mostly we cannot change the world - but can change ourselves.
love