5.Compassion towards others

Thread started at Meenakshi's request. Please lead the way Meenakshi

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

It may startle some, but I do see the world as becoming more compassionate. The energy of the world is clearing and that is a great first step towards doing so. Many injuries inflicted on the less powerful in times past - children, women, economically poor, the less technologically advanced - are now brought to light to shock us as we see them in the light of day.
 This causes them to seem to be increasing.

As I see the world becoming more compassionate, I am drawn to the challenge of feeling compassionate towards those who hurt others. To tolerate the intolerant. To love the unloving.

It is something that I can understand at the level of “What would God do” as God loves all. Or “Be as God” in which case, unconditional love fills me.

But not something I can act on in daily life, when I see people striking out at others who they feel have struck them; or people who seem to demonize the victim to play the victim role themselves.

I sense a shadow here and is something I am working on now.

Thank you for  starting this, Anna. I would love your feedback.

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

Thank you for your post, Meenakshi. As usual it is a thought provoking one.
It does seem at times that the world is becoming more compassionate and at others I feel it hardly notices…
I guess it's to do with my own perceptions as zoom in on particular situations, zoom out at other times, how emotionally I am hooked by particular situations and the angle I'm looking at. I cannot really imagine what it would be to 'be as God' which implies infinite wisdom and seeing things 'as a whole picture'. From my perspective its glimpses and angles…

When i sit on my meditation cushion there is no shadow in the sense that you mention but when I, say, receive an email from a friend re the atrocities happening in Burma or Tibet and so many other countries, I feel the shadow cast over me as though sitting beneath a mountain…

Witnessing a person harm another is very challenging. Whenever I feel this sort of pain I always remember that it comes from a place of love. I also think of the pain as a means of reflecting the feelings so many others experience and take it as an opportunity to hold these beings in love.

When it comes to feeling compassion for perpetrators - I always remember they harm because they've been harmed. I sometimes call up the image of the person as a young innocent child whose been harmed and hold them in my heart.

I am aware I need to create compassion - and the more I practice doing this, the easier it gets. Having said this - I know there would be certain circumstances when i'm sure it would feel very challenging.

I am very inspired by Shantideva's wish:

“May I become food and drink in the eons of famine for
those poverty-stricken suffers.

May I be a doctor, medicine and nurse for all sick beings in the world until
everyone is cured.

May I become never-ending wish-fulfilling treasures
materialising in front of each of them as all the enjoyments they need.

May I be a guide for those who do not have a guide, a leader for those who
journey, a boat for those who want to cross over, and all sorts of ships,
bridges, beautiful parks for those who desire them, and light for those who
need light.

And may I become beds for those who need a rest, and a servant
to all who need servants.

May I also become the basic conditions for all sentient beings, such as earth
or even the sky, which is indestructible.

May I always be the living conditions for all sentient beings until all
sentient beings are enlightened.”

“While their evil ripens in me, may all my virtue ripen in
them.” 
~ Shantideva, 8th-century CE. 

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

Thank you Anna. This simple thought will help profoundly:
” I sometimes call up the image of the person as a young innocent child whose been harmed and hold them in my heart.”

And one can send healing to their inner child…from mine.

I will hold this thought in my heart.

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

I will too, Meenakshi. We'll travel together

love

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

I wrote this on Jeremias' blog on Considering Love: Where is your heart still closed?

”I shared this in HummingBird's Labyrinth group - my heart is still closed towards those who hurt others. I am open to those who hurt me, as I see the value of getting through and around and over, the pain for myself- but not for 'others'.
So I guess I have to learn to expand my sense of who I am in these situations.”

And had a breakthrough:

He wrote: “Please consider that you are them, all of them;  find that in you that mirrors them.  That in you is why their actions irritate you….
Sounds like you don't hurt yourself.  Where in you do have something about hurting others?  I'm not saying that you do, but there is some energetic imprint in your to be embraced so your heart stays open. …
That is the access Meenakshi.”

When words seem true to me, I laugh. It is a laugh of delight at seeing something that was hiding from me, yet kept nudging and poking me. So I replied:
”lol! Yes of course - thank you for pointing out what was behind me/in my shadow, dear J.
“Where in you do have something about hurting others?”
In that silly feeling that makes me feel guilty about everything going wrong in everyone's lives. My friends used to remind me -You're not God. But thinking about it; perhaps it was someone really bad that hurt people! THANK YOU so much, Jeremias.
————-

And you, Anna, for facilitating this.

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

Meenakshi, it is wonderful when someone says just the thing we need to help us forward. That thing will need to be something which resonates deeply within ourselves. So in fact it will not be something from outside at all but something which like a magnet pulls out our own inner knowledge. I'm happy you received the words which did this for you.

I havent quite understood exactly what the message is which has come through
for you and would appreciate it if you can unpack a little more and cast
some light, as I'm sure I and others will benefit personally from
understanding this more clearly. 

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

What came through for me was; that the reason I am unable to feel compassion for “other people who hurt other people” is because I feel that I hurt people; and cannot feel compassion for myself when I do.
This could be because of a “past life” or “ancestors” or “repressions” - the schema doesn't matter; but the point is, I have to forgive myself, and see myself in those I am not compassionate about.

Seems circular, but when the focus turns back this way, it helped me. We can't change others, but we can change ourselves. Or, as I read today :

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

Meenakshi thank you for this is very thought provoking and subtle view which will be helpful to all of us who read it

love.

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

This thread reminded me of my work. I often have to work with families where the parent has in the past hurt their children either physically or emotionally or in neglect. Mostly this is through lack of knowledge of how to parent because their own parents were unable to parent them well. Last week I came to the realisation that the parents we see are the ones who choose to ask for help. This means they care enough about their children to make changes. I can respect them and feel compassion for them for this. 
I do however find it difficult when a parent insists that its all the childs fault. The other day we had a parent come in and say that her son had been really badly behaved since he was 6 months old. I felt so sad that this poor little boy had been demonised simply for trying to communicate his needs to his parents in the only way a baby knows how and that was by crying. Do I feel compassion for the parent? Probably yes because I know her life story was probably difficult too but I do feel sad for the child too.

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

Yes, Jenny, that also makes me feel sad

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

Revisiting ..it sometimes help when we can step really way back and see compassion not as a feeling but an energy in which we hold each being as inter-connected. Then, it is obvious that helping one helps the other; that loving all will help; and not just loving one.

And also, that we can continue to feel the sadness and pain of each person involved; but not drown in that.

Re: 5.Compassion towards those who hurt others

wise words, Meenakshi. I love to remember that perhaps we don't always know how to act - the sorrow we feel, the feelings of compassion are in ithemselves very precious and we can bring this very feeling in prayer to all beings who suffer