Sexual Identity

I am curious and seek to understand better my relationship with sexuality.

What is sexuality?

Why do we want or not want to have sex?

Why are we hetero homo or bi and not all exactly alike?

Is there a fully functional way to relate to sexuality?

Why does sex bring up jealousy?

I am gagging to hear what questions and comments folks have on this subject!

Re: Sexual Identity

I think sexuality is an area where spirituality, physicality, and societal norms all meet in a jumbled mess of fun, love, pain, and hurt, depending on the situation. Everyone has their own sexuality which I would opine is as individual as the person. I think there is a fully functional way to relate to sexuality, but it's hard because it's almost as much about the other person than about you, and there are few areas with as much potential for both good and bad in a very concrete way.

Jealousy is a funny thing. I think it comes both from the threat to someone you love, as well as potential threat to you. Also stems from possessiveness and a desire for control. Ultimately, I think it serves an evolutionary purpose but is an outdated emotional for these days. But it's also linked to feelings of protection, which I would say are a good thing. So, a mixed bag of nuts.

I had a friend once say that people, in terms of hetero/homosexuality, are on a sliding scale. There are those that are mostly straight, mostly homosexual, or somewhere inbetween. Society might pressure people one way or the other, but it does differ. I think partly because humans have come to value so much more in a mate then just the desire to reproduce, and sometimes those qualities are carried more strongly by one or the other gender. Also since sexuality also differs according to what feels good or looks good, things like that differ. Because humans are so complicated and have come to value and look for so much more, and different things, sexuality has severed its direct link to reproduction and has become more about bonding, fun, exploration, and attraction.

Interesting subject to explore! I'd be curious to see what other people have to say!

Re: Sexual Identity

Concur with most of what's been said but would add this.  Sexuality is bound deep into our sense of who we are and our self-worth.

If you have high self-esteem then jealousy is a minor factor in a relationship.  Sexuality is now part of how we relate to wider group of people than just a monogamous mate.  I am separated, now, but my 26 year old marriage put more emphasis on truthfulness than sexual fidelity.

If you truly love someone in one of love's many guises, outside erotic love, then you want what's best for them and, if that includes another erotic encounter, then you need to understand that.

Since my marriage, I am exploring who I really am, after bringing up three children who are now adults.  And sexuality is an important part of that journey.  What is desire?  Why do we need to express it?

It is certainly a different  environment than when I was last single.   I get approached, online and offline, and get propositioned and I am, frankly, quite unsure of how to respond.  I'll have to pick up this new vibe rapidly!

Re: Sexual Identity

You know, that's a very great perspective of questions on this topic. I have never even given the thought about that until now. What IS sexuality? Yeah, are we afraid of sex to not want it or we become deviant on the act of fear and try it anyway? What makes it a topic to say yes AND no to, and not just a simple answer. What's wrong with this concept? Exactly! Why are we even born differently in sexual preference, especially when religion indicates a man and a woman? Are there any strong points to ever relate to the true definition of sexuality? And that's another thing! WHY does sex bring up jealousy? I thought sex was a part of love, devotion and commitment. The respect with someone to have a passionate moment together. Why be jealousy and just accept different aspects of it? =] Thanks for that topic. My mind just really got inspired.

Re: Sexual Identity

Thanks for your input on this really worthwhile thread, Tony. It's a perennial set of questions that was originally raised.

It's very good to go outside the nice boxes of answers society provides, and do our own thinking on the subjects, and compare our thinking. We've got a new world to create, to R/evolve, and we gotta have some new thinking leading to new ways of interacting, including on these basic physical and emotional matters. !!

Blessings,
Rev. O.M. Bastet

Re: Sexual Identity

Thank you for your support and feedback. =] I really appreciate it. It has been a pleasure voicing out my thoughts and opinions on this topic.

Re: Sexual Identity

its a BIG topic. No doubt. especially in an atmosphere of spiritual and sexual correctness….

One more aspect is sexuality in times of Web 2.0

See Homepage of WIRED Columnist Regina Lynn:

http://www.reginalynn.com

Best,

Albert

Re: Sexual Identity

   This topic goes beyond sexual identity from my perspective. Regardless of the growing risk of promiscuity from a disease point of view, I question having sex with anyone due just to physical attraction.  
   Imagine relating with everyone on an intimate level (not mere sex), a level on which a glance or body movement communicates paragraphs, even books? Is there a reason why our world should not aspire to such? If we are seeking out companion spirits filtered out by their gender, are we not denying ourselves, and, our fellow spirits an opportunity to experience deep levels of communication and bonding with others?  To me the question is beyond their gender, but of what the nature of the relationship is and its needs from moment to moment. If sex  is a mutual desired objective or need, then denying it based on their gender becomes a form racism from my viewpoint.
     Sex….ummm….why are we doing it, to gratify ourselves? or to acheive a level of communication that transcends speech? or to procreate? I have experienced relationships that have went from the “hi, I'm Stuart” straight past sex into what I label for lack of a better term, spiritual intimacy. I knew them, inside and out, they me, we finish each others sentences, think the same thoughts, and generally scare the wits out of each other, without disrobing, conjoining, or anything in between. I've experienced that “gasping with joy on another plane” feeling from just being in their presence.
      So the summary of my rambling is? From this spirits perspective, in order for us to transform to a new world, a new morality, a new paradigm, we must let go of the thought that only one person should deserve to experience us on any level, let go of the attachment, especially to ourselves, and embrace unity through unconditional love. May Creation help us, cause we need it for this!!!
   May we all be: blessed in all things; know everlasting peace; exerience joy in each moment; and bask in the warmth of Creations love.

Re: Sexual Identity

Basically I agree.

The levels and complexity of resonsibility in these constellations are of course demanding.

Yes, its about intimacy.

And I guess only few people right now have the maturity to deal with all aspects of this attitude.

Its an option which wil turn inside out….and creates lots of heat in the kitchen.. So everybody has to decide if he/she is ready for this heat:):)