Gaia: Sex in R/evolution!

Re: Excessive SEXting or tEXting

http://thebackseatdriver.gaia.com — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:26:46 GMT

Half-birthday sex: a parody of “Birthday Sex” by Jeremih; a fun opportunity to parody the R&B genre with orgasm-less flair.

Excessive SEXting or tEXting

http://thebackseatdriver.gaia.com — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:08:02 GMT

"SEXting" is fast becoming a headache for America.

The Little Head is thinking better than the Big One!!!

An official at Glen Este high school in the Ohio town of Cincinnati, told the Cincinnati Enquirer (a newspaper):

"If I were to go through the cell phones in this building right now, of 1,500 students I would venture to say that half to two- thirds have indecent photos, either of themselves or somebody else in school."

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy last month published a study suggesting one in five teens had sent or posted images of themselves in various stages of undress.

I’m not even going to touch over excessive “tEXting.”

About half of American children 12 years and older have cellphones according to research firm Yankee Group.

Many parents---keep a (somewhat) careful eye on T.V., computer, and video game use of their children.

Cellphones, I’m not so sure ???

Re: The Dance of Intimacy (with Two Left Feet)

http://iloveyou.gaia.com — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 20:21:12 GMT

Stuart, I don't think it makes any difference if the you's are replaced with I's - the poem was trying to make a point - I don't see it as a whining poem - but something that shows to us all the ways we try to block love in our lives - we can all see ourselves in at least one of these lines - I see the poem as a call for greater acceptance.

Hi! I am Kundan, a Poet and Healer

http://iloveyou.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:00:03 GMT

My Name is Kundan and I am committed to experiencing Divinity and sharing Awakening.

So I wrote a book called Experiencing Divinity, Sharing Awakening, available here:

http://www.lulu.com/content/5993930

Check out two of my blogs on relationships:

http://iloveyou.gaia.com/blog/2009/8/the-souls-dream-for-us-an-unsual-love-story

http://iloveyou.gaia.com/blog/2009/8/true-monogamy-monoamory-by-choice

May everyone here today feel loved and happy!

:)

Re: The End of Sexual Identity?

http://voyager.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 06:11:45 GMT

Jean Gebser

Re: The End of Sexual Identity?

http://voyager.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 05:50:57 GMT

See also Stacey D`Erasmos homepage and her new novel:

The sky below

Its most revealing when in arts, literature the flow of imagination regarding sexus and eros is stopping. I am tempted to speak with Jean Gebser about this. However his approach is limited to lower left quadrants.

However I would ask Stacey how so called real life and fiction are interconected. Slightly siffering from her statements about real life I suggest that developments there are in complex transition too. The gap between real world devlopment and fiction is about emergence and convergence in culture, nature and consciousness.

I did not read her new novel and will look at it...

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://voyager.gaia.com — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:59:27 GMT

More from Steve Pavlina about his:

Adventures in Polyamory

The theme is discussed increasingly in public spheres in Europe too. For sure in German speaking media in Internet and conventional TV and Print. Osciallating between fascination, ignorance, humor and ultra-conservative and ultra liberal positions.

So Steve seems to show-once again. a certain instinct of unseen things in the air. Of communication in the crossover between private and public spheres.

Here a short excerpt from his Mar 30 blog entry:

"...

Biggest Challenges

The biggest polyamory challenge I’m facing may be somewhat unique to my situation. It has to do with privacy issues.

Erin and I have shared many details of our lives publicly. As I mentioned in the article Share Your Shame, I think it’s good to share your biggest mistakes with the world. It’s okay to be human and to accept yourself as you are. If you try to put on a false front, people can tell you’re being inauthentic. So just be real, and learn to live with the consequences.

Even though I’m a big fan of openness and honesty, I’ve had to accept that other people are not nearly as comfortable with the level of openness that I take for granted. Being so open about my life can create barriers to intimacy with others. My lifestyle demands a lot from potential relationship partners.

I can’t hide my public life from others – I’m too much of an open book. Some people may see this as a good thing, but for other people, it can be a scary prospect. I can’t go into details, but this has already been a problem in at least one instance..."

read more..

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://touchinglivesnow.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:08:44 GMT

((((((((((((Opening))))))))))))

Re: A sexy world

http://touchinglivesnow.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:07:38 GMT

(((((((((((Opening))))))))))))

Re: A sexy world

http://opening.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 14:34:25 GMT

The young man is not talking about sexual sin. He is talking about seeing sexuality as a freeing force to be chased after at all times. You cannot separate something which is intregal to its experience. Sexuality is a force that is being marketed. This is what he is talking about. Delving into sexuality and celebrating this force is not necessarily living in the "light". This is a judgment call.

He is talking about celebrating the entire being that one is sharing the experience with and not just their sexuality. He isn't even talking about the sexual act. He is also talking about the "light" of sexuality is experienced when one celebrates the whole individual and not just the feeling of empowerment when the act of sex is performed. The strongest most uniting elements of a relationship between two people occur during moments that are not related to sex and these inform love making. This is the nature of his post.

If you are living in darkness, yes it is truly hard to see the light when it is cast in front of you and you refuse to look because you love the view you are receiving in the dark. The light will hurt your eyes. His post was a ray of light being cast against the darkness inherent in the selling of sex as a comodity. He has not called the act of sex a sin, you have referred to it in that manner, not him. Sex is a sin when it is used in a manner that belittles oneself or another. It is love and a gift when it celebrates the recognition of that which is wonderous and joyful within the other.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://opening.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 14:19:14 GMT

See this is the thing, I have no need to be right or wrong. I really don't. My "viewpoint" is not necessarily a condemnation of polygamy, even though I do find it an odd way to approach "love". However, there are definates of what is best and wise for the human experience. Not because our society as it currently is oriented says this is right or wrong, but because there just is. Folks want to think that all is "open" and all is acceptable if we "think" or believe it is or a mass of opinion sees it this way or that. There are definate ways to live in a positive manner. Yes, that will change depending on how the individual views positive or negative. Humans have basic needs that seek to be fulfilled. There are ways that are more geared towards positive evolution than others and what is positive and what is negative to the human condition does change, but the needs, the make up of what it is to be human does not change. The nature of the forces on the Earth, good, bad, positive, negative, are just that.

Today, no one in Germany would say that Hitler was correct in his thinking. No one would say that Idie Amean (or however you spell it) was correct in his thinking, or any of the other despots of the world. Yet, millions of people followed them. Do I compare polygamy to their actions? No, they were extremes. They just serve to demonstrate a point. The nature of a woman is the nature of a woman. Sooner or later, having two women in one household serving the role of wife, is going to bring about tensions that would not otherwise be there. Do these tensions help them grow into holding a more positive view of themselves and of their place within the world? What about the children? How does it benefit their view of themselves and their place?

In polygamy, the drive is to serve the man and meet his needs and having more than one woman present to assure that he is always satisfied. You can say it isn't about this, but that simply is not the truth. Now, I happen to hold the view of myself that says, there is no man so much greater than I that would allow me to believe that he is worthy of having myself and another woman there to uphold his view of himself and any man that needs this is suffering from some major weakness that no number of women will stengthen. The fact that he may at any moment feel a particular need that I can walk off and look to another woman to handle as I don't feel like doing it at that moment, will change the nature of my relationship with him that brought me to be living in a home with him in the first place. Hey, maybe I am too selfish. Maybe my concept of myself is too high to allow me to give (if you want to call it that) in this manner.

Wars will never end until people learn to live to the highest calling for themselves as individuals and to give that in every moment to another. I fail to see how polygamy, concentrating on the sexual drives within the individual will do this. It is a juvenile concept. Do I need to be right in this judgment? Nope, it is what it is. I brought up Sodom and Gramora to illustrate that this idea of polygamy is nothing new and is not a new concept of living. It has been tried and the results of it are reported in the Bible. It was judged by the hand of God. So, go ahead, do as you please. I will not say you are "wrong". If it feels right to you, it feels right to you. That does not cheapen your value as a human being. It does make a statement regarding your view of yourself to yourself more than anyone else. Maybe in some way it will be benficial to your development. But, it is not "marriage" and I don't understand why those inclined to do this insist on calling it that. Maybe it is an attempt to legitimize it to themselves. Not my saying it needs to be made legitimate. I am saying those that are doing it feel this need.

But, there are "rights" and "wrongs" and this cannot be denied. I am not right or righteous and really truly have no need for you or anyone else to see me in this manner. I just know that what Steve did was selfish. Justify it all you want. There are absolutes. Failure to see this will bring on more wars not free mankind from them.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://touchinglivesnow.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 10:40:48 GMT

I have stated my viewpoint. You have stated yours.

I won't argue with you. It's pointless.

When people stop needing to be right and righteous, arguments and their counterparts, wars, will end.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://opening.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:50:56 GMT

A failed marriage does not mean that the institution of marriage is faulty. It has its purpose. Your description of your husband reminded me of my first husband. It was his failure, and my reactions to his behavior perhaps, not an indication that the system was at fault. Do you really think that opening up the marriage to include another as a sex partner would have changed the outcome? It this really the answer? Do you really think he would have gone for that?

Once again, I believe that when you examine the institution, it purpose, it is clear that bringing another into the marriage bed is not consistent with the role of marriage in developing oneself and evolving within a relationship. It is counter to those purposes. Therefore, why get married and do this?

Re: Polyamory

http://moonwoman.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:06:35 GMT

So, thank you all so very much for your thoughts. Recently, my husband and I (who are very much in love, he's my best friend ever) starting having discussions about bringing another woman into our relationship. I have always had an inclination towards having more than one relationship, but have never been in a situation where I could honestly have all that I wanted. This was always a struggle for me. When I got married, I did so with an assumed knowledge that I had to give up my "pipedream" of having both a wife and a husband. Last night we were talking very honestly because he had started to chat with a woman and after our conversations previous to this, he wanted to make sure that I was still ok with him talking to and potentially having another relationship. I said yes, and that I always thought it was possible for people to have multiple loving, kind and honest relationships at once. We concluded our conversation thinking that maybe we are both a little strange, but that we could each open that door for ourselves and hopefully find someone to share in our incredible love. I am very excited by all of this and feel blessed that there are others who share this point of view, with an understanding of honesty and integrity, without frivolity. Thank you.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://touchinglivesnow.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:51:41 GMT

I guess the reason I celebrate what Steve is saying comes from my own personal experience. He said that if he knew then what he knows now, he wouldn't have gotten married. I feel the same way.

I spent more than 20 years in a marriage that did not nourish me at all, but depleted me. This marriage became a prison of my own making. It didn't become apparent until after we married that we didn't even want the same things in life. But by that time, I had two kids, and I was determined that my kids would have both parents in their day to day experience. The result of staying in a marriage that depleted me was that eventually, even my will to live ran low. Emotionally and physically, I barely survived. When there is little will to live, the body begins responding by breaking down.

The reason I would be reticent to get into marriage again is because of the entanglement that makes it difficult to go your separate ways, even when the situation is not nourishing you both. That's why I celebrate openness.

I will not say I am sorry I married, because at the time, it was all I knew, and I will not say I am sorry that I married the particular person I married, because the two people I love most on the planet came from that union. Furthermore, he is not a bad person. He just doesn't know how to love, and he resisted all efforts I made to draw him into love.

And I, too, have always been sexually monogamous. For me, the thought of managing more than one romantic relationship at a time feels overwhelming. However, after several years of trying unsuccessfully to relate to my husband (Is it really a relationship when there is no real "relating" going on?), I would have loved to feel free to give my love to someone who wanted it. But I didn't. My conditioning led me to believe it would be "wrong". I cheated myself, through my beliefs, out of what I needed most when I needed it most.

I think that it would be healthier for everyone if, instead of everybody having to go their separate ways when someone's heart desires to love another or to love more expansively, that person could feel free to love without breaking up the family.

That is just my view, born out of my own pain and observation.

None of us really know what is best for everyone else. I say that in love, because I would have taken the same view as you a few years ago. I have found that when I judge others, life puts me in a similar position in order to awaken my understanding. That's just my course of study in this life.

Another thing is, openness about a situation brings everything into the light. It is much easier to see whether something is being helpful or harmful in the light. Hiding desires and wearing masks throws a shadow over them, which creates an environment conducive to hurting one another.

So, yes, I am grateful for Steve's openness. I hope he discovers exactly what he truly needs, and that his whole family receives exactly what they need. I don't think they are mutually exclusive.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://opening.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:25:43 GMT

Celebriticat,

I think that you are quite correct. What drove me to post regarding this subject in the first place was the original thread which celebrates Steve Pavlina's choice to reveal to the world that he has decided to live a polygamous life style. Of course, that is his choice. However, my heart and mind could not help but go out to his wife and children. Sometimes, here at Gaia and out in the world of spiritual folks, there are those that will justify bad behavior by clothing it in a search for one's self. Yes, by labeling his behavior as bad I am making a judgment call. The way in which it is depicted in his blog is as a uniateral decsion made by him for his growth despite the fact that he is married and has two daughters. It was as if he believes he owes it to himself to transform his family in this manner. It is all about HIS growth, HIS spritual conquest and the whole family is to join in HIS pursuit. Nothing there about THEIR needs, THEIR wants, THEIR growth, THEIR stability.

Further, he reveals his discussions with his wife in this process. It was an exercise in selfishness. Do I label all exploration into this alternative life style in this manner? I don't know. I never felt a need to explore this as I am a highly monogamous person. I couldn't even date more than one guy at a time. I tried, I couldn't do it and I mean just going out on a date and going home alone. If I determine a man was worthy of getting to know on all levels, I gave that person the full attention of that aspect of myself.

However, when reading what Steve wrote, I found no reason to celebrate it as the original responders to this thread did. I found nothing honorable or intriguiging in his behavior or the decision to make it public. I found it to be quite sad. To be honest, I had gone to his blog once a long time ago. I went to his wife's as well. From them both, I picked up a level of insincerity. Why? Just my gut instinct. So, I never went back to them.

Now, to see what Steve has determined to do as a man, a husband, and a father, and that his wife, according to him, is smiling her way through it all the while working very hard to lose weight, the whole thing strikes me as quite sad. To think that there are human beings that can't parse the reality of this through their minds and instead say, "yeah, go Steve, if he can do it, well all can", well, that strikes me is sad and frightening.

This life style, I would think, can be approached with more responsibility and less selfishness. However, when one is already in a marriage and has children, it seems like an irresponsible exercise into selfishness and lust, at least to me. I do agree that one can experience a sense of self enpowerment through sexual experience. However, I believe that is heightened when one has commited one's self to giving the self over to another individual completely and exclusively. This is what marriage is about--what person pledges oneself to when taking marriage vows. So, if you don't think this and believe it with your whole being, why get married?

If what you choose to do is a statement that the height of love, sex, commitment to expanding one's view of one's self cannot be done through an exclusive relationship, don't enter into the institution of marriage. Leave it alone and explore whatever you want. But, don't cheapen the state of marriage and your relationship to your family. If you find yourself coming to the conclusion that a monogamous relationship just doesn't do it for you and you are married, get a divorce, because in following this path, you are in violation of the marriage contract. This is a human and legal reality. To say that it isn't is self-delusion.

The spiritual path is all about living and how you live. It shoud inform your decisions. If it doesn't, then you aren't on a spiritual quest and are only playing mind games.

Re: A sexy world

http://touchinglivesnow.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:27:11 GMT

You have some good points.

Imho, it is not the openness about sexuality that is the trouble, but the superficiality which you are pointing out.

We are all aware of the sexual force. It's just that many are not aware of its sacredness. Or if they are, they try to use all kinds of rules and laws to guard its expression, which only ends up keeping things in the dark.

I've long noticed that the ones that preach the strongest against sexual "sin" have their own battles (and "losses") exposed to the light eventually. If they had been open, instead of deceiving themselves and others, they may have found more helpful ways of dealing with their sexual force.

It's much easier to see what is helpful and what is not in the light than in the darkness.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://touchinglivesnow.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:15:07 GMT

Why do we argue? No one ever really convinces anyone of anything they are not already convinced of.

Besides, we are all polyamorous. The word literally means "many loves". We may express that love differently depending on the relationship.

It's the same with passion. The same passion which drives the urge to merge can also be expressed in creative, athletic or career pursuits.

We have individual brains so that we can come to our own conclusions. Even if we don't agree with one another's conclusions, we may still honor them, and honor one another's paths, as well.

At least, that's the way I see it. But, what do I know? I'm not an authority on what you "should" think. I just see divisiveness here where I would rather see unity. Guess it's time to do some soul searching to see where I am divided.

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://opening.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:28:50 GMT

Albert,

That you received 35 comments to a post, most of Europe is following your path, or what you may call it, the whole world could be following the same line of falsehoods, and that would not make it anything other than false. I refer you again to Sodom and Gramora (spelling).

Re: Steve Pavlina And A New 2009 Intention

http://voyager.gaia.com — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 17:03:57 GMT

Opening,

I am a convinced transatlanticist. Everybody who follwed my blog in the last three year, can see this.

However there are differences. I posted this and received 35 comments. What I am writing is no mere opinion. its based on hundreds of trustful and honest conversations with friends from North America and Europeans in the last 10 years.

Society without God

Europe has a more secular attitude to all of these themes. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Best,

Albert