What does my new family look like?

On the outside you see a herosexually identified couple afforded all the societal rights and priveleges of a married couple. You look closer and get to know this couple and it's easy to find that they have a solid, healthy loving marriage of many years. Then perhaps you will learn that the woman is bisexual and that the man is not, and this is no big deal. Then you learn that this couple has endured the courageous journey of polyamory from time to time. You don't feel threatened by this, so you don't run away. You lean in closer because you are open minded and are affected by the philosophy of loving more, and then you learn that there is a whole, entire spiritual movement called “Loving More”…and once you get over your judgement and misperceptions, it kind of blows your mind!

Re: What does my new family look like?

Does silence mean there is quiet judgement? Are there others who can relate to this story? And those who cant? Anyone out there with any curiousity? What if I said that is thumbnail sketch of my new family? 

Re: What does my new family look like?

I appreciate your deep and vulnerable sharing here Mary.  Actually finding this through the new ZAADZ display of pods was difficult.  

I've also experienced what I now sense is a cultural bias in our society against women speaking their truths about their experience of relationships, sexuality and their own power.  See the article at this link: http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/2006/08/blog_the_cradle.html

Part of this derives from a resistance to the evolutionary push for individuals to come into sacred union balance with their divine feminine and divine masculine such that they live from integrity with thier own heart & soul.  It shows up as many men having a difficult time fully embracing a woman in her power, even though that is what drew them to her in the beginning.  Conversely men who are effectively embracing their feminine power, admittedly not so many as the women yet, also seem to be marginalized in various ways.

Blessed Be,

Jeremiah

PS  Check out my pod http://pods.zaadz.com/sacredunion

Re: What does my new family look like?

Sounds an aweful lot like my family. I know personally my wife is taking a class on the sociology of sexuality this semester and has bumped up against a world of discrimnation and flat out bias towards any surrender of assertive power by men such as homosexuality from both men and women, along with an equal discrimnation of women who seek any degree of sexual control; such as lesibian relationships, or women taking on multiple male sexual partners such as threesomes or polyamory. I believe that deep in the collective of unconscious this fear of feminine empowerment has populated our unconsciousness as racial trait. Through out our human history female empowerment (specifically sexual empowerment) has been linked to cults of surpressed minorities such as the Tantric sects of India and the Dravidic culture which may have spawned them.

Namaste

Re: What does my new family look like?

Paula,

I really appreciate your candor. I will gladly share more of my story with you and offer my support, but i think i prefer to do this in private at this point…this pod has been pretty quiet and i feel too exposed here with my posts being the last ones of many and for a while now. I even just removed one of them from the poly thread…the quiet after myposts makes me wonder if my presence here is somehow stifling the conversation rather than helping it flow, so the results seem anyway—and this feels not good. Then you came along, so yes, let's connect! 

Re: What does my new family look like?

Mary,

Talk about a topic that ranks up there with racism, anti-war, and the environment…!

Thank you so much for being the courageous person you are, and for sharing from your inner depths, and for willing to be vulnerable…

Stifling…not to this spirit at least…and what you are living is but the tip of a wave in a truly stormy sea with many other waves of countless permutations and variations. The sea is not placid, for we are in a transformational and evolutionarily testing period…

This spirit feels that the “poly” style of relationships are becoming more prevalent as a viable means for manifesting because old patterns, norms, and traditions that limited our evolution are dying away, slowly, painfully, even violently.

This spirit not having been in a poly type of relationship in this life none the less feels the value and the potential that could, are, and will be in these type relationships. Had this spirit been aware as it is now, having chosen a typical hetero relationship based on the typical fidelity would not have been undertaken, yet this relationship has allowed for unparralelled transformation, transformation that allowed for this spirits current level of awareness. That you are there, on the wave crest, bless you for your courage, your inspiration, your strength. This spirit feels like it is still in the trough, paddling for the crest, but seeing it still moving away.

If a “new” family occurred in this lifetime, it would be poly for this spirit, filled with trust, with sharing, with freedom, with unconditional love.

Keep posting, keep sharing, you are a beacon and please, please, don't hide your light.

~Namaste~

Love and Light

Re: What does my new family look like?

Stuart,

Hurray for your encouragement for Mary to keep writing.  I'm sure she feels vulnerable and exposed in this forum. 

I agree that Mary is a beacon in the evolution of relationships.  There is a long way to go and we all need to keep supporting those brave enough to speak up and show a light on a new path.  Some may not walk the path, but maybe there will be fewer people blocking the new way.  While a poly path may not look as rich and rewarding as a traditional relationship, it does offer more than the swinging couples out to satisfy a physical desire as opposed to extended couples sharing time and enriching each others lives.  Ultimately, we all want to love and be loved in return (Loved Moulin Rouge).  I encourage others to open their minds and hearts to the changes that are coming…

Lovingly,
Paula

Re: What does my new family look like?

I was so glad to find this group and discussion cause this is sorta what I am going through now. We are a couple with three kids and have been together five years.

On the outside you see a herosexually identified couple afforded all the societal rights and priveleges of a married couple. You look closer and get to know this couple and it's easy to find that they have a solid, healthy loving marriage of many years. Then perhaps you will learn that the woman is bisexual and that the man is not, and this is no big deal.

Well I have been on the path of self discovery and allowing myself to let all parts of my being to be open regardless of my fear of them. This is how the subject of polymory came into the forefront for me. I was able to finally after 27 years be honest with who I am without judging myself and also was able to open up just being honest in radical ways with my husband. I told him I was bi sexual but more importantly connect with women in a way that I need a constant compain who is female. There is just something I get out of it and so much more with him in the picture. I will really  enjoy seeing another woman treated the way he treats me and to have the same securities. I want us to be able to exspand this wonderful love we have with eachother. We are so evoled in the way of communicating and being empathatic.

Re: What does my new family look like?

dear soulsearcher,

i am so glad to have read your post this morning. thank you for sharing and keeping this rich discussion going…ironically, for me, the poly path can be lonely at times, even among close freends, most of whom are strictly monogomous…i thus tend to keep a low profile about my private love life and so being out at zaadz is a way for me to try on being out in a safe and sacred context…subsequently, i am discovering new places of comfort and ease with expressing and revealing more parts of me than most in my life see! (sorry to shatter any illusions others may have of me of being a totally out poly girl/family in my life!) 

so, soulsearcher, and others, i hope you continue to give yourselves permisssion to explore here too. i so welcome a new kindred spirit among us…you may care to check out the pod, “sex-yikes”! as there are soem  pretty hot tantric exersizes under “sacred sex” discussion, thanks to our dear zaadz brother, jeremiah…


I have been on the path of self discovery and allowing myself to let all parts of my being to be open regardless of my fear of them.

yippee! that is a powerful and inspiring statement!~ you go, girl!  keep discovering and facing and releasing your fears…i am so with you!

much love all,

mary

Re: What does my new family look like?

Thank you for th ewarm welcome! I am glad to find a place where maybe I can discuse the ideas behind polymory and discover more and more what is right for us.

Re: What does my new family look like?

SoulSearcher,

You hit upon an important concept that is close to this spirits core, that of feeling wonderful about observing another receiving the same comfort and benfits that you do.

This is what poly should be about in this spirits opine. Not about friends with benefits, swinging, etc. Poly should be caring about others so deeply that you share completely with the intent of their wellbeing in focus, and, vice versa. Obviously a long bumpy and painful road lies between common place and this destination, but yippee for you and mary for being on it and cutting the trail!

Love and Light

Re: What does my new family look like?

This is a cross sharing from my pod ”Sacred Union: An Inquiry into Relating  “as it relates to Intentional COmmunity.  http://pods.zaadz.com/sacredunion

I've heard a little from others about creating Intentional Communities and there seems to be lots of different thoughts on what that means.  I've heard some declare form embracing communism, others fondly remember “hippie collectives” all of which has its own baggage.

This left me wondering what I mean when I'm thinking of what kind of community my heart/soul desires to manifest in  this new 5D Earth with Paradise and Sanctuary.  So here are some thoughts that came through as I responded to a good friend's heartfelt query about money and a spiritual life and how it relates to sharing.

My response to her is, “Come to think of it, that it was intentional community is about, sharing on all levels.  I see us moving to a social structure where we live in intentional communities of soul family/groups, where we share everything and relationships are more fluid as the energy is more fluid.  Knowing that there is always enough for all, there is no hoarding on any level, even some will move to where marriage as we know it today will cease to exist and words like open relating, polyamory, swinging and marriage may disappear from our lexicon.  Each will be creating as their heart calls them to and all children will be raised by a community of loving people.

Just another though spurt…

What does your heart have to say about this level of Love?

Blessed Be,
Jeremiah

Re: What does my new family look like?

Jeremiah I love your dream of “a social structure where we live in intentional communities of soul family/groups, where we share everything and relationships are more fluid as the energy is more fluid.” Do you believe this is happening more often than it has in previous generations?

Re: What does my new family look like?

Sam: “Do you believe this is happening more often than it has in previous generations?”

Yes, I see evidence of this happening among those I know in the first waves of those manifesting paradise on earth in this time leading up to ”2012” or whenever that IS.

Blessed Be,
Jeremiah

Re: What does my new family look like?

Your thoughts on intentional community are inspiring ,and poly would seem to be the first step in this direction. Part of the resistance to change (aside from religious establishments) is, and will continue to be, societal fears based on the most extreme examples that have manifested (which ironically involve religious establishement). Examples are Waco and Rvnd Moon. This is the type of hurdle which must be overcome.

2012…a date to generate interest undoubtedly, but trepidation or anxiety, only that which we desire to self manifest will come to fruition…

Love and Light

Re: What does my new family look like?

Warm greetings Joshua! Glad your excited to be here!

Love your positivity!

Love and Light

Re: What does my new family look like?

This may drift off the point a bit, my thoughts tend to do that

My views on marriage or any other social living arrangement have come mostly from Robert Heinlein. In his books he frequently has examples of polyamory and arranged termination points. The boundaries of the relationship should be set by those that agree to be in it, they should be free of outside influence. As long as it is based in love all parties in the group are agreed. That is the real caveat, Ayn Rand had a rather infamous failed affair where she tried to negotiate with her husband that she could have a 1 year affair. Unfortunately her husband and the wife of the man she had the affair with weren't completely agreed and it ended with both couples getting divorced.

Re: What does my new family look like?

I'm very interested in this thread and my journey has spanned religious conviction to a far more open way of relating. I used to detest adultory. …and then, I couldn't figure why, if I was happily married, why was I still drawn to other women. The reasons are many - abuse, teaching etc.
Now there's a stage in my life where my world view hurts those closest to me.
I believe now that I can love a lot of people but whether I'll ever act on it is frightening.
I believe that unconditional love can exist. But I don't know whether I will ever experience it.
Evolution does have a down side!

Love and Light.

Re: What does my new family look like?

Pierre,

This spirit had to chuckle, not at you, at itself, for are we not all  reflections dispersed by the infinite mirror of creation. This spirit is at a similar stage, a crucible where the pieces are being dumped in, and the outcome is unknown. Action ,scary, how hard we hold on to what we know, have known, even if it serves no purpose other than to hold us back from a higher level of joy, it is known, therfore we cling to it like a life preserver rather than the block of concrete which it has become. The future cannot be known, and taking the steps to become free, not just for us, but for creation, is hard, terrifying even…I' right there with you.

Love and Light

Re: What does my new family look like?

I wonder if this thread has become unraveled since there have not been any posts in so long.  I have not visited in some time and see there have been a few more like minded posts.  Are there communities already in existance that Jeremiah mentions in his post?   Any in New England?  I hear more about the swinging lifestyle, even ABC News has recently had 2 stories, which expresses the fun of the lifestyle, but I'm not sure that does much for those looking for something with more meaning, depth, and connection than simply playing with other couples.  Not that this is a judgement on that lifestyle, it's just that I'm searching for something beyond the satisfaction of my carnal desires.  I hope that there will come a time when people's sexuality will be less judged and more accepted.  All of us with more forward thinking will ease the way for future generations.  Keep on your path, stay true to yourself, and seek support with like-minded Zaadsters.

Bright Blessings All,
~P