I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

 To me good sex is between 2  people that  have a natural connection between each-other.  That's what makes it orgasmic even cosmic and true love making not just  Fu@king  I like to make LOVE with a man I'm connected with naturally it's more spiritual and beautiful  experience for both  people: )

                                 MAKE LOVE   : )

                                                  JOY : )

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

I absolutely agree. When I was younger I had what I thought was a boyfriend, we had absolutely no connection and so we were what I like to call “f*#k buddies”. I didn't enjoy it I just did it.

On the other hand my husband is my souls mate and we make love.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Absolutely! I agree. I also think that Love is a great mystery. It moves us in and out of our boundaries and takes us where we normally may not wander on our own. When we surrender to Love and let that magic unfold, then all we do is find great pleasure with each other. Technique and performance are great skills to have, and I have plenty, but they are all only like accessories and tools to be guided by the hand of Love. Without love, or that special chemistry, or magic that captures and takes two people on a whirlwind ride, then all the skills and tools in the world in sex without love would be like a butcher pretending to be surgeon because he knows how to use a knife.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Mistake hey the e-mail address Fu@kingis not mine. I was trying to not spell out a curs-hing word so I tried to spell it different. oops my bad sorry : (

                                                           Sorry JOY : ( 

                                   Party on guy's LOVE JOY : )

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Yeah, but what is “chemistry”?

Most people have a tendency to be attracted to certain 'types', physically and emotionally.

And then there's those other elements - social 'types', bad boys, rich boys, popular girls, nerdy girls.

How does 'chemistry' work?

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

 To me chemistry is a natural connection you have with a person it's not based on the physical or type of person it's the natural draw  to that person that connects your soul together in a deep and spiritual way  : )

                                               PEACE JOY : )

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

That sounds like you are talking about love. Love is the hottest.

But I've loved people, and the sex with them still had it's issues.

I do tend to think that physical and emotional types does play a role. The hottest happens when love clicks, when physical types of attraction clicks, and when emotional types of attraction click.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

That 's true there is  a lot of soul-mate married couples that are not having a great sex life because of problems in their marriage or with stress or depression. I guess i'm talking about my life  experience with sex as you are with your point of view. 

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

I feel it's a balance of love/chemistry and lust/performance/looks.. I've been with women I found incredibly attractive, and the sex was blah. On the other hand, I remember one woman who I loved, yet know she was not beautiful in the model way, and our sex was wonderful.

I'm afraid that one day science will be able to look at the type of person we're attracted to and take all the mystery and magic out of dating, loving, and sex.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Sex is always better with the right person and love is incredible. I think the best sex happens when two people fall in love and work together to refine the technique.Pure bliss and states of ecstacy can be attained through sex.I think another crucial factor is communication. It feels awkard telling someone what you enjoy sexually especially when you are not sure of the reaction you will recieve.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Actualy the most importent part of sex, that I've noticed, is patiance (surprise!) and paying attention to the partner. You need to watch for the signs before continuing and knowing to back off when the other isn't ready. It becomes very much like a dance, you just need to know the right steps. And just like in dance, when you have the steps right things will be perfect.

BTW, love and sex work great together, but you don't need one to have the other. To me love is flavor while sex is food. You can have sex without love but it gets tiring after a while, and you can love without having sex but you feel the need for some substence.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Well said!
And sometimes you just have to be a cum a cum a cumelian. :)

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Cute:) thanx for making me laugh!

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Love is the hottest? Wow, yes, that feels right!

Thank you Bill :)

Love
Johann

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Sure, I love sex.  That doesn't stop me having some pretty strict-views on the matter.

 Now, I am by no means a prude.  I am not a “kill joy” nor am I working for “the man”.   I am merely  a guy who reckons that there is no arm of sexual experience to be found anywhere outside love.

Put simply, I do not adhere to the philosophy of casual sex, or sex for enjoyment, in any way, shape or form.  

Now, to stress my opeing point -I am not against sex.  Making love, to my lady -whom I love more than all the joys of life piled ontop of one another-  is a natural, spiritual, and outright creative experience.  It is the product of both chemistry and understanding; but a chemistry and an understanding that only exist in their pure, unsullied forms, because of Love. 

One night stands?

With all this talk about sex and chemistry, what is the group's thoughts on one night stands? Taboo? Superficial? Or living in the moment?

Re: One night stands?

 Thanks jusme this is a good question : )

O.k for me one night stands are living in the moment especially with someone you connect with it can be a good experience. However when I look back at my younger day's when I had a few one night stands that was totally not a good experience it really depends on why you are doing it and with who that makes it a awesome experience or  a bad one.

                        This is just my point of view based on experience : )  

Re: One night stands?

 I don't like one night stand.

Re: One night stands?

I have had some good ones, a short crossing of paths, two souls meet, one time but the moment is eternal.

Some were so unusual and odd situations, like they just happened, like something was directing them form some where else. Sometimes so fast and natural as if to flow.

One time it was about 2:30 AM in the morning. My friend and I were on Indian Rocks Beach fishing pier. The one we were on was destroyed by a hurricane later but the way. So we kinda passed out, woke up about 2:30 and these girls and this one guy are there and we start talking. I talk to this cute girl from Ohio. This is for about 15 minutes. So we all decide to go do something. We get to the beach end of the pier. Someone says lets go skinny dipping. So I say do you want go, she says “sure”, off we go, next thing you know the girl from Ohio and I are doing it, and it was very intense you know why?

We were right next to the pier about 10 or 15 feet, and I knew and mentioned to her once we were out there, people were throwing in bait fish (the ones fishing for sharks), and of course others fishing. There were proably dozens of sharks swimming around us attracted by the blood. What a heightened state of awareness that was. 

You see that is the power of the Life Force Sex it can overcome the greatest fears, sharks and dark waters.

Anybody else?

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

 Sex is only for special guy I guess I choose Chemistry.

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Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

Sounds thus far to be a conversation based on the definition of what good sex is, and what chemistry is?

Is good sex merely about physical release, experiencing pleasure, communication, or?

Is chemistry just the physical attraction of form, phermones, hormones, or harmonious mindsets?

Love and Light

Re: I think Good sex is based on Both : )

How about both! I agree, without chemistry–forget it! But if either one is lacking to the point you can't concentrate on anything except how the person is irritating you; then it's difficult to let go, FEEL and connect–which is to me the best part:)

Re: I think Good sex is based on Both : )

Letting go of ones personal expectations…and concentrating exclusively on connecting with, and making another rocket off into mindless nirvana…this is what brings this spirit pleasure and satisfactisfaction, even more so sometimes than receiving…

Love and Light

Re: I think Good sex is based on Chemistry : )

I don't claim to know much about anything ,but this I do know ,for me If Ihave sex just to bust a nut ,it's like I'm just using the other person instead of  caring /enhancing them

AQAL Sex.

Yes,

what I see everyone pointing to in this discussion so far is an AQAL (google it if you don’t know WTF it is ) perspective on sex… To have extraorddinary sex, yes you MUST have “chemistry” or that special “we” quadrant connection… you MUST pe able to “perform” in the “it” & “its” quadrants… a point of view that doesn’t make sex wrong, and that recognizes the moment as special & sacred, even if it’s a one night stand, in the “I” quadrant really helps…

Does that cover everything?

Re: AQAL Sex.

 hello, I'm not sure what you meant in the last couple of lines but… sex “MUST” include nothing. It is whatever you create it to be; in whichever quandrant you choose!

and back to the performance issue, what if there IS chemistry but the other person is disrepectful?…or bores you to the point of dreamland? Can you still have “good” sex with them? Well, don't know bout you, but all my quandrants need attention:) Chemistry, performance, the whole nine!

May the warm light of making love touch you all

Re: AQAL Sex.

I- They? ;P

Re: AQAL Sex.

what?

Re: AQAL Sex.

Jessica,

Do you have any exposure to Ken Wiber's AQAL theory? 'cause this only really makes sense if you do… 
there's a quick overview here:
http://www.integralinstitute.org/public/static/abtapproach.aspx

 I'd suggest Kosmic Consciousness or The Integral Operating System from SoundsTrue.

Re: I think Good sex is based on Performance

Since I have only ever had “sex” with my wife, my experience is limited (LOLOL)…
And I would have to say good sex is based on performance, and in particular rhythm and timing. We were both virgins before we got married, and have never had “other partners.”

Love love,

Laurent

Re: I think Good sex is based on Performance

Laurent…

Thank you for sharing something very personal. You come across as a spirit whom is attracted to your partner on more than just a physical level. And in that is another element besides the physical, for if the first were not there, it would be just an “other partner” to borrow your words.

Love and Light