Purpose of Shadow

Not possesing comprehensive working understanding of the “Shadow” phenomena, wondering, does “it” have a role in keeping with our growing and evolving as an entity, with a view to gaining greater integrity, toward a more positive out come for the individual.
Presumable, poor decisions would drive the individual into greater darkness with the prevailing Shadow holding greater sway.
Any thoughts on this fellow Gaians.
Love and best wishes to all.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

my belief is that investigating shadow is a major tool that can be used for all sorts of intentional positive evolution.

i judge that uninvestigated shadow is like a dam without a valve to vent the pressure, that slowly and steadily builds up until it bursts.

thanks and blessings,

Re: Purpose of Shadow

Hi Jack,

Shadow is such an important exploration. I'm wondering if we can get this group up and running again. I know whitewave has not been around for a while (miss her! hope she comes back sometime) but I see you are a mod here. 

Laurie is interested in this group too, and I hope will be by soon to share an excellent blog she has written about Shadow and Mirror work.


Thanks for being here,


Nicole

Re: Purpose of Shadow

Shadow work vs. mirror work
The two kinds of work bring different challenges to us
throughout our seeking lives. Do we escape the real world to search our inner
selves through the work of the shadow? Or do we use our relationships and
interactions to explore the mirror? Each can certainly benefit us. The biggest
difference between the two is that shadow work is mostly done alone and mirror
work, like it or not, has to be done within the self through reflections
gleaned from others.
Shadow work is tough. That’s when a person decides to
explore the dark parts of the self, the part that gets in the way when things
don’t go smoothly or the parts that trip us when things are going well. Shadow
work, the way I have understood it, takes place by choice. I picture a deep,
dark cavern within the self. That cavern has been safely closed off for years.
The cavern sometimes has a loose stone or something else that alerts you then
tells you, “Hey there’s something in there!” We dodge the opening, we bump into
the wall from time to time but we dare not go inside because it’s dark and
scary! So we avoid it.
After some time, years, decades perhaps, we decide to see
what it is that is inside. So we get our heavy duty flashlight and we step
barely inside. Or perhaps we push the cover of the opening aside. If it’s
boarded up, we might remove the boards one at a time, at our own will. When we
tire of it, we leave it. Even removing a single board can be exhausting. And
with the removal, sometimes it’s more like an avalanche; the cavern’s contents
to come spilling out.
So as the days, weeks, months, years go by, we stop from
time to time and peer inside. Again, when we feel the time is right, we get the
flashlight. The thing about shadow work is that with the flashlight, we see things,
scary things. But if we don’t like what we see, we don’t have to look at them.
We can take the flashlight away and convince ourselves there is nothing there
to fear. And that might work for a while. Then if it’s a big monster, there is
always the chance that our blinding light awakened it and if that’s the case,
we will never be the same. That big monster will not go back to sleep!
Through shadow work, we take our time, illuminating each
corner and crevice at our own pace. We can spend as much time as we like
carefully unpacking the contents of each and every box we find stowed within
its walls. It’s a lovely, opening experience. And as the cavern glows with
luminosity, we can smile and warm to its objective of having kept all this safe
all those years. We then begin to enjoy going into the cavern to explore and
reminisce. We are careful to throw out that which no longer serves us, that
which is too painful to keep. We are free to wrap and box up the things that
might be dangerous but that we are inclined to collect for whatever reasons.
It’s very nice to explore our own caverns through shadow
work.
But the mirror?
Wow. As we all know, relationships act as mirrors in our
lives. They reflect back to us the faults and weaknesses, the areas in need of
improvement. And as both gazers and holders, we have a dual job: hold the
mirror up for the other person, and look around the mirror we hold, into the
one our partner holds.
This is different from shadow work in so many ways. Unlike
the shadow, we have no choice when we get the reflection or when we suddenly
find ourselves hoisting up some colossal mirror that seems like it’s from
ancient castles. Other times, it’s a small, compact mirror that simply flashes
up the reflection and then is put away for another time.
Sometimes, we are moving right along in our routine we call
life and as we round a corner, this huge thing is in our path. It halts our
progress and we are stuck peering into some monster—oh wait, that’s me!
Other times, we feel like we are the punching bag of a
verbal tirade from our partners and just when we almost buy into what he or she
is saying, we realize we are trying with all that we are to hold this mirror so
he or she can properly see who is being fussed at. As we walk away from the conversation,
we almost accept that it is us who is lacking in integrity, who is not
forthright, who is somehow deficient then as we create space, the lights come
on. What we realize is that it is muscle tension from holding the mirror. We
rub our shoulders, sit and contemplate for a few minutes and we realize the
words the other person uttered were not at us after all.
And here is a good time to remind ourselves that we play
roles in life. One of our best roles is that of mirror holder. It’s an
imperative job, one that we truly cannot avoid. Our mates do not always like
the mirror holder! And regardless of how often we think we hold the mirror, the
mate holds it just as much.
This applies to so much more than partner relationships.
This applies to parent-child, friend-friend relationships as well. These people
came into our lives for reasons of growth and evolution; it is up to us to
figure out what needs to be healed.
Sometimes we want to turn our backs on what the mirror holds
for us. We want to believe with all that we are that that couldn’t possibly be an accurate depiction of us. We often
want to escape the idea that we are one intricately connected universe of
energy and thought and that the people in our lives are actually there for a
purpose. We would rather fall back into former thought that our lives are
individual, dual in nature. We would rather believe we are masters of control
and power.
When we least suspect it, in the middle of a disagreement,
we get that very quick flash of light that is reflected from someplace far
away. It blinds us momentarily, long enough to stop our riddling of words
toward someone we love and respect. We turn to find the origin and instead, we
see a sliver of a mirror showing a very small piece of ourselves. And behind
that mirror is the person we thought we were angry with, holding it ever so
gently, while we scream and yell.
At this point, we remember who we are and who we were meant
to be.
Yes, I will say that today, my vote is that mirror work is a
greater challenge than shadow work. Shadow is invited and made to feel safe and
comfortable while we get to know it. Mirror work on the other hand, can cause
casualties of unsuspecting people on the course for understanding. May we all
have the strength to peer into and accept what we see reflected back to us. And
may we each have the wisdom to realize when we are holding the mirror for
someone else, and know that we are doing so.
Mirror, mirror on the wall … 

Re: Purpose of Shadow

Thanks so much for posting this here.

Mirror work is very challenging. No wonder relationships are so difficult to sustain. But the more conscious we are of what is having, the easier it becomes to stay and hold/look into the mirror rather than trying to flee.

Peace,

Nicole

Re: Purpose of Shadow

for me there is not much difference in what i call mirror work and what i call shadow work.  it's all self-inquiry, which is the corner stone of pro-active evolution.

i do have a preference that we have an intention to speak in i-statements.  i judge that when i try to speak for the we that i can't contain the totality of it. 

i have found that any persons statements have more power for me when it is acknowledged that they are speaking from their own experience (not the experience of all).  i tend to discount any statements from anyone who claims to know how we all feel and how we all need to grow.

i don't want to discourage anyone from posting in any manner they choose.  i only want to state my preference.

i love this pod and am thankful that you want to share your wisdom, knowledge, vision and shadow with it.

namaste

Re: Purpose of Shadow

Very good about the i-statements. Thank you! I will try to be more careful.

Namaste,

Nicole

Re: Purpose of Shadow

careful?  oh no you don't.  (just kidding) 

this's part of my dad shadow, impossible to be pleased.  there's is more to me than this, i swear.

ok, so i'm here.  i'm supposed model how this shadow pod is trying to be. 

but first, i would like to invite laurie to open a thread about the mirror work.  i'm not sure if it belongs in the i/we/it/its quadrant.  i'll promise not to complain whereever it goes or how it is worded.  just a place where people can ask questions about it.

also, i miss ww's presence here.  she made me moderator and then life swept her away.  i see/dream that she is being fulfilled beyond her wildest imagination.

ok my shadow fractals are different from everyone else's as much as our dna is different.  and my light fractals are different.  i'm going to expose some of my shadow and light, not all because i don't trust you strangers.  i acknowledge to myself that it is all there (infinite shadow and light).

and hopefully i'll bring it back to the thread title, the purpose of shadow.  because i'm anal about staying on topic (not really).

i'm being led to talk about a shadow piece i did about a year ago.  it was supposed to be a traditional shadow work piece in that the man holding the energy of one of my characters is only supposed to mirror back exactly what lines i gave him. 

i gave him the energy of my critical dad and some lines, color and posture.  he was being critical, and i was asked what needed to happen.  i said my little boy wants to speak to my dad, acknowledging that his role is welcomed and loved AND would he mind if he toned it down a little because it isn't working for me at the current level of volume.

i was so convincing to myself and the other man that, even tho he knew he was not supposed to respond (as per traditional shadowwork), he broke down crying.  it was a tremendous blessing to have my inner critic hear my heart/logic.

so the purpose of shadow is power.  when we deny and repress our shadow,  caa, caaa, caaa.  my experience is when i deny and repressed my shadow of criticizing myself (and others), it remains strong.  and when i honored and let it know i was truly listening to it, then i could learn it's lesson and it's disempowering aspect goes away.

it's getting late, goodnight.
sweet dreams,
more exposure later, please join in

Re: Purpose of Shadow

I miss ww a lot too, and wish her the best wherever she is, whatever she is doing.

The story you tell is a beautiful, powerful example of how shadowwork can set free. Thank you!

Nicole

Re: Purpose of Shadow

I have recently suggested to a close friend that a person describes them selves most accurately by declaring what they find threatening, ugly, unacceptable, because, as i understand it, the persona, being the face we present to the world, is a portrail of what we understand to be attractive, desirable and acceptable.
Using this logic, is it not so that what is unacceptable to us is a better description of our state of being than that we choose to adorn ourselves with.
example, people fostering hostility toward homosexuals are latent homosexuals.
Another examply which catches my attention is the hostility toward paedophiles, not that this activity has any thing going for it, but, it seems to manifest as a pet hate among jail populations, their seeking opportunity to dispense their justice.
Should issues such as these be non issues for us, being neither psychotic or neurotic in our attitude toward them ?

Re: Purpose of Shadow

the shadow can be used to help someone else look at a larger part of who they are, only if they are ready to look at that. 

i agree that every shadow, especially ones we foster hostility, are absolutely part of ourselves.  the sooner we accept this the sooner the effective forgiving can begin. 

however, the process is very tricky to administer to others.  it's even tricky to administer to my self, even when i think i'm ready.

this is the part of oneness that many (probably me somewhere in here) just aren't getting.  oneness with mass murderers?  pedophiles?  torturers?  self-righteous preachers?  mass-polluters?

i can really only work on myself, if i want to be effective.  the paradox is i am a manifestation of All That Is.  so i am (you are) completely intimately in touch with the total consciousness God, who is All of the above (and below).  therefore, we can work on Our Self, too.  that's a big Shadow, isn't it?

i believe this is the path to the new 2012 paradigm.  tho i'm not sure how this will turn out.

“Should issues such as these be non issues for us, being neither psychotic or neurotic in our attitude toward them ?”

i think this is a great question.  and the way i'm looking at it now, i have to own that i have psychotic/neurotic tendencies, if i believe that i don't have psychotic/neurotic tendencies.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

it is a great question, Leo and Jack, thank you!

Nicole

Re: Purpose of Shadow

This image brought the words to mind, of shining a flash light into dark places iluminating the shadows.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

Speaking from a mother of young children, Hell Yes! I have hostility towards pedophiles! See, this is what is wrong with the wolrd today. People like you want to defend child rapists, just like you wanted to defend your ex son-in-law, who was abusive to your daughter and our beautiful granddaughters. And where is he now? In jail for stabbing a man while he was drunk. Imagine that! That could have easily been our granddaughters or daughter that happened to. Thank God I talked her into leaving that bum when I did!
I have no respect for anyone who can hurt a woman or a child, whether that means abuse or rape, molestation, or anything. I have no respect or patience for them or anyone who defends them.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

do you want to look at your shadow/mirror in this?

Re: Purpose of Shadow

excellent question. 

for example today I had a situation where I ran into a difficulty at work with some clients, and found myself really hard-pressed to keep a professional demeanour.

in shadow work, this becomes a fruitful avenue - what is it in myself i am resisting so hard in this situation? 

i'm going to have to take some time to ponder that one, as the answer isn't popping up readily.

thank you, jack!

Re: Purpose of Shadow

Jackii, hi.
In my humble opinion something doesn't feel quite right in your reply to this lady Shirley.  It's too easy, a bit cheapo to me,  sorry.  Ok there'might be shadow effects in her emotional response and of course it's always beneficial to look at that, yet I dont think you honoured her.
It somehow makes me think of the story of Jesus when he went after the moneymakers in the temple. I would like to think he acted out of a feeling of righteousness and justice instead of reacted out of an unconscious shadow element.
I think we have to be aware that to condamn certain actions that do no justice to the wellbeing of our fellow human beings doesn't necesarry have to come from some deep unconscious  well suddenly flaring up (although it can be of course). I think the essence of this is to be aware of whether we are acting or merely reacting.
If we are acting, by which I mean a conscious creative movement, it doesn't have to mean we condemn the persons  who are doing hurtful things but we condamn the acts they perform.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

alluvja,

thanks for speaking your truth.  there is no doubt that i have many shadow-driven behaviors.

and, when someone comes to this shadow work forum they will be asked if they want to do some shadow work.

Ww and myself and a very few others have done some work here.  that is why Ww set up this forum.  for people to be challenged to get in touch with their shadows, and the power that is there.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

you're welcome. 

sometimes it's easy enough to facilitate myself, and sometimes there's a block, and then it helps to have an outside facilitator (that i trust will let me return to my own facilitation, once the block is past).

i offer my facilitation experience to you.  could be done here or thru private messaging, if you would feel safer.

Re: Purpose of Shadow

i very much appreciate the offer. i will let you know if i need help - got some further insights upon waking this morning which may take me down the right road on it.

love,

nicole