yellow boy with blue/orange girlfriend...?

Hello!

I'm new here and I have a question for you:

does anyone of you have experience with a relationship that, seen from a developmental point of view, is somehow quite unbalanced….but nontheless seems to work?
the story goes like this…

I'm a 33yo European man, I lived and studied sound therapy in London for the past 5 years. I'm familiar with the integral philosophy and try to use it in everyday life. I also read, and strongly believe, what the entity KRYON teaches and again try to live by its teachings.
About 6 months ago I moved to Thailand. Here I met a beautiful girl and since then we've seen each other every day. After many disastrous relationships I can now say that for the first time I'm very happy to be with someone…it's a constant happiness and I feel a deep love and respect for her and her culture.

I'm planning to move back to Italy and start a sound therapy practice there and we are both thinking that we could do the leap “of faith” together.
But since I'm a Virgo, “blessed” with an inquisitive mind and a doubtful soul :-) , many questions arise from this…

This relationship seems to work because here I'm embedded in a blue/orange Meme of developement (a stage where people have many rules coming from above and respectfully follow them/ and a new materialism and capitalism is arising very fast) and I curbed myself down to it, so to speak…accepting the way it is. My girlfriend embodies this qualities to some degree. What I love in her is this “stability” and “congruence” in her feelings and her love to me, which I very much missed in my past relationships. In other words: I feel safe with her.
Now, I'm a person in a yellow (or around) Meme, stage of development, a second tier stage, where there is acceptance and understanding of all the earlier stages…trascend and include….and I will go back to a country on a orange/green stage (make money/ everybody is equal)…

so, with this nice selection of colours…isn't this a potential realtionshipBOMB? How good can my girlfriend possibly adapt to that lifestyle? Is she going to manage the pull from the “higher” stage or will it seem frightening to her? I started already to introduce her to my way of thinking and believe system(what a horrible word!), but then she looks at me with those eyes and tells me that she loves me and that I'm free to believe in whatever I want! What can I say after that!!! :-)))

but what now is an idyllic relationship could easily transform in a nightmare….
Basically my question is about a relationship between 2 people from different cultures and stages of development.
I hope I didn't bore you to death….I just wanted to see if there were other people with similar experiences and hear opinions coming from an integral point of view.
every little help is much appreciated! :-)

thank you in advance
Mankut

Re: yellow boy with blue/orange girlfriend...?

Hello Markus ~ Interesting problem!

I've noticed amongst my clients and students (and in myself) that as one progresses up the Spiral beyond Blue, that the ethics and integrity of Blue (but not the closed-mindedness and judgment) gradually become more attractive, until they actually become needs. From Orange to Turquoise (and probably Coral) we become increasingly un-tethered in our thinking and that can make it hard to make decisions. We develop a nostalgia for rules.

I think it's a very good sign that you are attracted to Blue.

I believe levels beyond Turquoise have emerged and need to be studied and defined. And I believe a 2nd Tier form of Blue may be emerging, with a form of black and white thinking that is open and inspiring, rather that rigid and limiting. That's just my opinion and it's not what you're asking for.

I'm not sure that a bit of advice in a forum is really going to be useful to you, but here's what I'm noticing:

If you're girlfriend really means it when she says you can believe whatever you want, that shows a lot of openness or an acceptance of plurality, so she may not be stuck in Blue at all. And if you really are ok with where she is and don't need to change her, then you may be happy together for a long time.

What might help ~ and you really can't do this in a forum ~ is to design an environment or strategic habitat to support your relationship. If you're both motivated, it can work.

I hope this helps!

Re: yellow boy with blue/orange girlfriend...?

Thank you so much for your kind words.

No, I don't think she is stuck on Blue either.

Just one thing, could you tell me a little bit more about what a strategic habitat really is?
I never heard the expression before but I would like to find out more about it.

Thank you Julia!
M

Re: yellow boy with blue/orange girlfriend...?

NO expert here, but have considered this issue, for sure, since romantic relationships in general have been at the front of my mind for a year or so now.

Also, I'm going to just go on what I hear happening.  I may be reading too much into stuff.  PLEASE correct me where innaccurate!!!!  I'm in the same fascinating boat, but am taking the plunge.  she's a wild maniac, and I need no less.  Anyway, enough about my girl…

I was looking for the right woman.  Recently divorced after a 17 year relationship with the wrong woman (at least in who we developed into).  So…I'm pretty concerned with getting it right.  Did a lot of online dating and am now very serious with a beautiful woman.

What is VERY important to me is that I can be heard and that my ideas are respected and that she is open to growth.  My ideas are very significant, AND, I need her to believe they are real and accept that they are real.  If a person doesn't have faith in you, cause you're a little far out, then what might happen?  If a person is dynamic and open to growth, I believe a lot can happen. 

I.e., how much have you considered potential?  If you believe she is not dynamic and growing, could you deal with having her batt those baby (insert color) at you for say, 10 years, and saying, “whatever you want to believe babe?” (btw: not diminishing the beauty of her eyes.  My girlfriends smile just kills me). 

Another question.  How satisfied are you intellectually.  You are swinging from the pendulum of NO affection and warmth from past relationships it seems, and are now ripe for that warmth.  Being ripe for that warmth, are you sacrificing any other high values you might have? Maybe you have a bunch of fun.  Are you satisfied with the level of communication???

Just some thoughts….

clyde