In order to...

I am surrounded by “good ideas” that are seductive and pull me away from my main goal.

My main goals: To start a metaphysical research lab.  

                             To be a published author and speaker

                             To be able to give away 90% of my income and still live well

My strong suits (Tactics and techniques at which I am expert)  Musician, Network Security Specialist, Diplomat, Writer, Logical Analyst, Marketer (for other people's ideas), Listener.

The 'good ideas' are 3rd-dimensional, reasonable ideas..  All are things I do in order to do what I intend to do.  I have hundreds of hours developing web sites for these IDIOT things and they do not bring me appreciably closer to my goals.   

I don't know how, nor do I believe 'how' is my responsibility.  What do you think.. 

Re: In order to...

Hi Wolf, I am confused by your last statement that it's not your responsibility to know how.  If these are your goals - they are not anyone else's goals.  Then it would be your responsibility to work towards your goals.  Maybe I misunderstood the statement.  In any case- your goals are wonderful and grand.  I have had the same problems- big goals.  What you can do is to break done the goals to acheivable steps and take the first step.  For example- setting up a lab is big and takes much time and assets.  If you might break it down, the first step might be to check out library books about labs.  Or visit other labs.  Or make a list of requirements.  Or check into government grants.  Or other stuff since I don't know too much about that specific subject.  I heard a parable once about not being able to swallow an elephant whole.  But someone can eat an elephant one bit at a time until it is complete.  Next, pick one hour of every day to work at one piece of the goal.  Large goals tend to sit since they overwhelm.  One hour a day towards your goals is reasonable and doable.  It is like getting something that large in motion.  It takes much work to get it started -but once it is in motion, it will move along.

Lisa

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Have you read any Abraham Hicks stuff?   The law of attraction and all that? 

They say there is a 3-step process to manifesting what you desire

1. Desire it, want it.  I desire a new pair of shoes or a new job or a new significant other

2. The Universe moves and rearranges to make it possible

3. Allow the thing you have manifested to appear in your experience

This is why “how” is not my department.  When one focuses on how, then it is very easy to think one is doing it all oneself. Focusing on the end result, it might be easier to figure out what one would “have to do” as the step before completion, and work backwards from there.

To be able to give away 90% of my income, it stands to reason that the step before that would be “having an income of sufficient size that 10% of it is sufficient to live on.”  I am living that right now, and though you would laugh if I told you the amounts involved (much smaller than you may think), My wife and I are managing it almost every month.  The part that is not entirely in place (all the time) is that it is entirely comfortable.  Sometimes my monkey mind really obsesses about how life can be this good when the traditional Do-Have-Be path is not present.  (I do stuff so I can have things and experiences so I can become wealthy or happy or whatever)  However, I am entirely enjoying the side-effects of this goal with no 'how.”   We are living in a new home with food arriving every few days by an angel.  A few days ago, I walked out into the drive and a gentleman gave me a brand new pair of shoes, which are very comfortable.  Our citified cats are completely at home guarding the chickens, and interacting with the dog.  I had a talk with them before we moved out here, but for the rational “realist,”  the question of how is a reflex to the surety of what they feel comfortable with.  I think that actively attempting to give a rational “because” is a block to accepting that the universe is run by prosperity principles and “hard work” is not the path.  

Re: In order to...

Hey Wolf,

I agree with Lisa.  You may want to break down the big goals into smaller goals and then chart your progress.  You can't build a house in one day, right?  It has to start with a piece of land and plan.

 So, a good way to do this is to do S.M.A.R.T goals.  S = Specific, M = Measurable, A  = Attainable, R = Realistic and T = Timebound.

In other words, if I said, I wanted to exercise more, a way to put it in a S.M.A.R.T goal would be “I want to exercise (walking) 3 times a week for 20 minutes a day.  I'm going to log it in my journal.  I will start this tomorrow, 7/12 and review my progress on 8/12.”

 So for me, this is a S.M.A.R.T goal.

Do you want to create some of those goals from what you send and we can review here?

Mary :-)

Re: In order to...

I see how you could see it that way.  Lets play this both ways.  I can make metaphysical suggestions for you touse and you give me reasonable suggestions that I can use.  There is no competition, but as I said in my earlier post, none of my successes seem to be based on singular cause/effect..

So If I start with my goal to be a speaker and writer (good for this because there is a current baseline) and see where that goes.  My comfort zone 3 years ago, just before I quit my “real job” as a network administrator was pretty far into Reasonable based on the scale 1 (entirely reasonable and rational) to 100 (entirely multicausal and metaphysical).  Where I was on the scale at that point was about 29.  I believed that Most things that happened to me were the result of outside forces and I had an ability to control only what I could lock up at one time.

Currently I reside, most of the time at about 79.  I believe that the power of directed intention works but I do not stay in the “zone” all of the time.  I am almost always aware that my perceptions are extremely filtered renditions of reality In any given hour we are bombarded with 40 billion separate sensory experiences and our rational minds can receive about 2000.  I am a scientist and firmly believe in testing. hypothesi.

My published material covers much ground from technical material to motivational.  I intend to speak and write on more motivational stuff because it seems like the talks would be more fun for me.  Every quarter, an hour of the introduction to each class is about my proven methods to make it possible to get good grades without stressing out about the process.  I am not entirely sure that my method is reproduceable, but I know it worked once.

———- 

My goal is to be in-demand for speaking engagements at the top end of the scale of payments; to have my books, CDs and ancillary materials at the top of Amazons top 10 and be consistently on the NYTimes best-sellers list; further I intend to transform how prosperity appears in the world, making feelings of lack unusual.  

The people I am intending to be with as colleagues are making well over 100,000 per year speaking.  Some are making that in a weekend.  I am absolutely certain that this is possible, that I am able to do this, and that it is entirely within reason to make this statement.   My time frame to completion: between now and 2010.

———– 

Re: In order to...

Wolf,

I love your 90/10 concept…this is something I personally have never considered; but certainly worthy of thought and more importantly action. I am currently reading a book which is changing my views regarding money…you might care to give it a look. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist.  Your ideas intersect perfectly with Lynne's view of sufficiency which I believe is what I am reading in your most recent writings.

I share your expressed beliefs on the power of intentionality and setting it up so that the Universe conspires to bring into your reality that which you desire. I also believe that it is a cooperative effort where we as individuals co-create with the Universe and correspondingly do our part. As Ernest Holmes the founder of Religious Science states…”treat (affirmatively pray) and move your feet.” Affirmative prayer being a very intentional prayer not a traditional suplicant form of prayer common in most religious practices. So, I believe we each have to do our part….the chunk down to bite sized pieces suggested by Lisa and Mary Spirit.

I also think it is important to be crystal clear what you want. It seems that you are well on that path. And I think that is where many of us fall off the bus is that we are not clear. We have a vague idea but we can not embody the desired outcome. I always ask my clients to see, feel and hear what it will be like when…..

I am curious, had you put in mind the desire or need for a new pair of shoes?

I love you level of commitment! 

Fondly, 

Coach 

Re: In order to...

Shoes. :-)

I had, in fact, an intention to manifest some clothes to use for farm work.  I live on a chicken farm, so there is a good deal of outdoor work that I don't want to do in “business casual.”  The shoes are very comfortable and give me the option to put my old tennies into play for farm work. 

Re: In order to...

Awesome! I love it!

And I get that you were crystal clear what you want. I am convinced that clarity is the secret to manifestation and we also haveto be able and willing to accept that which we seek. Lisa's process of refinement of things on her list is a great example. I am begining to better understand that my acceptance comes when i can see, hear, and feel myself with what it is that I desire. In other words a full embodiment of the manifestation.

I believe Wolf was crystal clear on the shoes and voila! Wolf, how clear are you on your other goals? The process of chunking down helps, in my experience, the process of clarity which has the Universe move more powerfully to co-create that which we want.

I continue to think about your 90/10 but also resonate with the thought that if you could teach others on a massive scale how to manifest as you do this would be an even greater gift to the world.

Fondly,

Coach 

Re: In order to...

Hey Wolf,
I love your life goal.  I'm sure you can make it happen!

What are you doing to break your life goal down into smaller goals?  I totally understand co-creating with the Universe - I do it often.  Now that you've put your goal into writing, how are you going to get there?  What smaller goals can you create to measure your progress?

For example, how is the book coming?  :-)

MarySpirit

Re: In order to...

I really am enjoying this conversation.  I agree with you Wolf on the point of putting you requests out to the universe.  I have a wish list at home here that I leave to the universe.  The universe will not give you what you don't need or will harm you- even if you wish for it.  On a few of my goals- I did ask for assistance from the universe before I started.  As I started to bite of pieces towards my goal - I found out that my original goal was “distorted” a bit.  Once I took a few steps closer, it became clear that I had to rephrase my goals to be even better for me and others.  For example, why do you want to give away 90% of your income and still live comfortably on 10%.  Maybe your goal is to be able to help other people.  This can be done without money.  In fact the best help would be to teach people how to ask the universe themselves for what they need rather than having you be a “clearing house”.  The universe can give much more than what can be filter through your 90%. 

I really like the co-creator comment - we are all active participants in life.  It is harmless for the universe to give a pair of shoes.  It takes a bit for the universe to manifest a book with your name on or to get calls to speak about the concepts of the book. 

Re: In order to...

I do have a life coach question that I would like to ask anyone's assistance on.  I have a problem with anxiety in specific situation.  I have dug into the core of it and have found that the anxiety is only in situations where I am feeling judged by others.  A performance anxiety based on my inner critic telling me I'm not good enough.  Digging deeper I find my mother telling me I am the bad child as far back as 4 years old.  I have biofeedback to monitor my meditation and daily well being. 

My problem is that when my inner critic shows up- I'm off the charts.  Anyone have any techniques to turn that chatter down?  Or at least ways to handle and cope?

Re: In order to...

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for jumping into the mix! :-)

So let's look at a situation…

Is that performance anxiety in situations like work or just life in general when you are in situations with family, friends, etc?

Can you tell us about a time that you “performed” and it went really well? How does that situation look? What made you successful in the situation? How did you handle it?

MarySpirit

Re: In order to...

Hi Mary-

Performance anxiety in situations like: job interviews, talking to absolutely anyone who has a judgemental disposition (I once felt my anxiety jump when a lady serving ice cream to my husband and I- gave me this judgemental look.  I put it into perspective- but my initial reaction still stuns me).  I am very sensitive to what other people are feeling.  This helps me understand when people are sad and I try to help.  But when judgemental comes along….

Performing well is what I strive to do in most situations.  In these cases I rationalize my anxiety and then move forward.  I tell myself- OK this is my anxiety and not a real fear and move forward.  the anxiety is still there.  I am wondering what I can do to get to the root and stop the initial reactions.

Lisa  

Re: In order to...

Hey Lisa,

What would happen if someone judged you?  What does that mean to you?

 Also, tell me about a SPECIFIC situation where you handle someone judging you well and that you are proud of.  It actually sounds like you have a lot of them.  :-)

 MarySpirit

Re: In order to...

I see.  Ok physically when someone judges me I feel very tense in my shoulders, my stomache rides up into my throat and it feels swollen shut.  Mentally, my inner critic starts to say what makes you think you are worthy.  You are not good enough for this.

 A specific example of when I did feel anxious and still succeeded was at my last job interview.  I told myself that anxiety is normal and that I was well qualified for the position.  I worked through the interview with the symptoms rather than eliminating the problem.

Mentally I understand that if someone judges- that's their problem.  This should not affect me either way.  My reactions seem to happen on an unconsious level- and once consious of them I'm not sure how to handle them.

Lisa

Re: In order to...

Wow- crickets.  Hello (tap, tap) is this thing on?

OK -either this pod was abandoned. Or Everyone has been anxious and doesn't know what to do.  Or I stumbled into a pod where no one has ever felt that anxiety that has stopped them from moving forward and reaching thir goals. 

For 1 & 3- I am honored by your presence.  For the middle one- please chime in and lets brainstorm ideas. 

Re: In order to...

The POD hasn't been abandoned!  Defintely not!  :-)

Hey - would love to hear from you all!  :-)

MarySpirit

Re: In order to...

Lisa,

The process you describe as your experience is identical to what we discovered several years ago occurs for people who stutter. They feel judged and then experience a panic attack…a stronger form of what I read you go through…of their speaking system.

My first thought for you is something I tell each of my clients that experience being judged.     “What others think of you is none of your business” or “What you think of me is none of my business!” Consider that you are mind reading. You really have no idea what someone else is thinking of you unless you ask them. Whatever you presuppose is mere conjecture unless  you validate it by asking. The look the woman  gave you may just be  the way she looks at the world; but for you and your reality it meant…..you fill in the blank. Without asking her you have absolutely no idea what was going on in her head and it is highly presumptious for you to think that you “know”. Mind reading is as dangerous an occupation as bomb disposal or fighting oil fires.

Consider that every behavior has a positive intention at some level.  This is a hard one for many to wrap their arms around but my experience of coaching hundreds and those of my teachers validates this. So, Lisa ask yourself one or all of the following questions:

What is the payoff for Lisa for becoming anxious?

What is important to me about becoming anxious? What ever your answer is to this, then ask yourself “What's even more important than…..? Keep asking that question until you can go no further…or it becomes circular. This then is the ultimate positive intention for the behavior. With this in mind let the creative part of you come up with other behaviors, which are ecological for you, that will give you the same ultimate positive intention. 

Fondly,

Coach 

Re: In order to...

Hey Lisa,

So, here's a question - what about some judging you is benefitting you at this point?  In other words, are you getting some kind of benefit out of having the anxiety, do you think?

Just a thought…
MarySpirit

Re: In order to...

Thank you- I have never considered that I do it because it in some way benefits me.  I would like to respond to that question immediately, but I believe I may have to dig deep to find that response. 

Lisa

Re: In order to...

Hey Lisa, no worries.  Feel free to post (if you're comfortable) your response.

MarySpirit

Re: In order to...

Hey Lisa!

I perform professionally and am always a little butterfly-stomached just before I go on.  What if I forget my lecture notes or I didn't bring the carefully-written sermon or if I forget the words to “Surely the Presence??”  I use the feeling to my benefit.  The physical experience you get when I am extremely excited are very similar to those I feel when I am scared.  The adrenalin rush is the same, so instead of classifying the feeling as fear and embarrassment, I classify it as excitement.  Nobody but me knows what I am about to do or say anyway, so there is no danger in the situation.  One thing that I do, which you do not appear to do, is actually practice putting myself into controllable small situations, such as a weekly topics session with 2 of my best friends.  Each week, one of us did a very small talk on a topic that interested him, for the other 2 people.  Short talk, questions and answers afterward, and then coffee and cakes.  Zero stress, but your subconscious does not know that.  Your subconscious sees every event which you define as being similar to be exactly the same.  Another controlable thing is to teach at a Sunday School class.  These 7 and 8 yr-olds do not scare you probably, and their judgements are not frightening.  Do this for a while and you may well find yourself talking about speaking to large groups of likeminded folks.  My biggest crowd (playing in a folk band) was probably about 1000, and my biggest speaking engagement, so far is about 250 people.  As screwed up as I sometimes think the performance was, somebody always says what a lot they got out of it, and nobody ever has come up later and said I was awful.  In certain venues, I have been heckled by drunks, but I found it extremely amusing.   

Re: In order to...

Perhaps I could teach people to not need money, but my intention is to be able to be generous without sacrifice.  I wish to be knowingly in a larger flow than I can imagine “needing.”

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Wolf, Thank you for your response.  This is great advice -as I have understood.  Desensitize anxiety by practicing in safe situations.  In case anyone else was wondering what I came up with, as far as the question of what am I getting out of this anxiety.  I have come to the conclusion that it served (notice past tense) as a defense mechanism as a child.  I kept this method of coping and as an adult have used the “skill” to be sensitive to other people's needs.  I called this compassion and empathy.  The problem when opening up to other people's emotions, you not only get happy, sad, blue, but also anger, judgemental, and other negative stuff.  I try to help with all the negative stuff that does not have me as a basis.  I'm still contemplating whether I am justifying an old coping strategy or whether I may have a skill that I just have not figured out completely how to remove my own ego to be of the greatest help. 

Re: In order to...

Hey Guys,

Sorry I haven't been around.  Last week was a bit hectic and I was away from my computer a lot.

So, I need some help.  I am worried about my bills, what I'm doing with my life, etc.  I'm working on SMART goals but man, it's not easy.  I want results NOW and it isn't happening that way.  Does anyone have any advice for being patient while you and the Universe do it's work?

Thanks,
Mary

Re: In order to...

Mary Spirit,

I too read your note on the road and it has not been conducive to writing anything that I would consider  meaningful.

I am certain you know that everything is energy…money…milk…grass…the air we breathe it is all energy in a variety of forms. Worry too is energy…negative energy. Our thoughts are energy and in this Universe like attracts like so  we attract to  ourselves what we think about on both a conscious and  unconscious level.  So, worrying is just the opposite of what I am certain you want.

Do you believe you live in an abundant Universe? If you do then  everything in the Universe is in abundance including time. And my experience tells me that Universe will in its own time…since it does not live by the clock or the calendar….provide for you all that you desire  if you can remain focused on  what you want .

The only “cure” or palliative for patience is surrender…a word most of us do not have a  very powerful relationship with.  I certainly know I  struggled to  embrace  the idea of surrendering …particularly when we grow up in society  and cultures which foster doing as the solution to everything…not doing seems  an anachronism…and that is precisely what surrender is about. Not doing what you/we have asked the Universe to take care of.

I would like to better soothe your concerns…trust and all you desire will be yours.

Fondly,

Coach

Re: In order to...

I am familiar with S.M.A.R.T., I learned this in the PSI Basic but one of the things that I think is important when feeling stressed and worried that I won't be able to pay bills is to stop, breath deep breaths, affirm that I am safe and sound and well taken care of and also to make a gratefulness list.  I can relate to the feeling scared.  For me I want to give up on Love, after so many years of dating, I wonder if there is someone out there I can connect to but it just reminds me to connect to myself, to concentrate on loving me and those around me and to let go of the results.