Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shaming

how is our culture (american specifically, but also modern culture as well in many cases) relating to emotions? at what cost is this occurring? what do we lose by medicating so many of our emotions? what do we lose by not expressing them? what do other cultures have that are more open to sharing their emotions? what do they have that we don't? what do we have that they don't? is it worth preserving what we have at the expense of the costs? or is it worth considering other options?

at work people say 'leave your personal life at home' or 'emotions are not for business'. what do we lose to that way of thinking?

if one looks at the heart of other cultures with less shame around their emotions, would we want some of that heart? is our cold heartedness giving us what we want?

if we look at modern design in many cases it is colder than designs of yesteryear and other cultures. is that mirroring the emotional disconnection occurring in those who are not dealing with their emotions through drinking, smoking, drugs, or medications? clearly there are those who use substances on occasion who face emotions, but there are also clearly many who use it to avoid their pains or communicating things that don't work.

is what we save worth what we lose in the current arrangements? are many 'disorders' a function of our relationship to emotions and the built up emotions of people who have been traumatized and either are ashamed to seek out therapy or told that it is purely a chemical imbalance when it has more to do with emotions? it is a function of our search for quick fixes and to keep things 'nice' rather than to face our societal demons?

what occurs over time in the lives of those who face their emotions. how do they feel about life as a whole? where does their journey take them? what happens in the lives of those who do not face their emotions? where does their journey lead? what paths do we want to be taking? what assumptions do we want to make?

Re: Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shamin

very interesting post David,
       The thing that immediately occurs to me is that fear is the source of most problems. It's true though that some of our more esoteric endeavors don't fit well into the work day (except maybe during break time discussions).  We must be brave enough to hold on to our own level of understanding and areas of interest whether they appear to fit in to society (work society too) or not. If we allow ourselves our individuality, it will become natural to allow others their differences. Avoiding fear is most important: fear of being scorned, fear of not fitting in, fear of being ridiculed.
      We have a sort of 'pseudo' culture that consists of commercialism, social standing (how wealthy, healthy and what accomplishments) and of course egotism. True culture consists of our level of understanding of deeper questions. We all use different tools to understand what is real, important and good. Herd mentality isn't real culture.

Re: Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shamin

very interesting post David,
       The thing that immediately occurs to me is that fear is the source of most problems. It's true though that some of our more esoteric endeavors don't fit well into the work day (except maybe during break time discussions).  We must be brave enough to hold on to our own level of understanding and areas of interest whether they appear to fit in to society (work society too) or not. If we allow ourselves our individuality, it will become natural to allow others their differences. Avoiding fear is most important: fear of being scorned, fear of not fitting in, fear of being ridiculed.
      We have a sort of 'pseudo' culture that consists of commercialism, social standing (how wealthy, healthy and what accomplishments) and of course egotism. True culture consists of our level of understanding of deeper questions. We all use different tools to understand what is real, important and good. Herd mentality isn't real culture.

Re: Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shamin

sorry, I pushed 'send post' twice and got the repeat

Re: Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shamin

“leave your emotions at home” also happens a great deal in school and even the doctors office. Teachers are no longer allowed to spank children in school which I think is a good thing but teachers are not allowed to hug either. The abuse of so many people suing people for “mis-conduct” makes many people afraid to touch or look at each other with any emotions attached. It may have protected some potential sexual abuse but what about the emotional abuse that it now creates. Neglect may be a better word. When a child is hurt and goes to the teacher the best that teater can do is say “it's OK” and maybe give a pat on the shoulder. No advice, no opinions and no touching. What a sterile world our children are coming into.

Then your doctor shares with you that you have a fatal disease and you melt down. As much as he may want to comfort you he or she, usually for liability, must not get involved, emotionally or physically. Again maybe a pat on the shoulder. Why?

I saw that special on Oprah's new school in Africa. WOW! those kids were alive! Bursting with emotions. They were not just “happy” to be part of that school they were H-A-P-P-Y! There was contact, support, love, and dreams. These girls were not just dreamers, they are going somewhere with their life and nothing is going to stop them. I think here in the states as a “protective measure” one might say “don't get too excited, things might not turn out as you wish”, and part of what drives us into success is suppressed so that we “don't feel disappointed”.  Funny thing is…I think, whether you keep your excitement “in check” or let it flow, if you hit disappointment the feeling is not minimized, so might as well feel all the excitment and joy you can when it is sitting in you wanting to get out.

Re: Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shamin

The spectrum of emotions is a double edged sword and we have a choice we can either accept what comes up in our emotional body as valuable sacred and worthy of teaching us a thing or two or we can run away from it. So it goes that it is sometimes more comfortable in the shortrun to sideline our true feelings, facing our fears can be a little bit to exciting for uor rational mind. Shame, apathy, guilt, fear, greif, anger none of these are wholly accepted by the rational mind and the ego in the end these aspects of the personality are not comfortable with the vulnerability embracing these emotions would entail because it would subject them to dissolution. I am am all for going to that place within that scares you witless and giving your creepiest demon a big fat bearhug.
Grateful, Makeo

Re: Emotional Erraticism ... Emotional Denial... Emotional Shamin

i liked particularly….

“facing our fears can be a little bit to exciting for our rational mind”

nicely said.

-d