Gaia: Think Tank - Gaia Dictionary - LOVE HELP!!!

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://ADLIAC.gaia.com — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 13:40:31 GMT

Most of the reasons romantic love fades or stops or goes sour are magnificently, accurately, and profoundly and clearly addressed (with methods for prevention and cure) in Harville Hendrix's books such as Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. I think they are in zBooks.

Great thread. I have nominated it for Collective Wisdom: The Hall of Fame for Zaadz Threads. You can go there and vote for it!

Blessings, OM Bastet

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://freshmixture.gaia.com — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 19:07:41 GMT

You have to start at the beginning. Here is a quote from Abraham stating what I mean:

"Even when we are encouraging you to selfishly seek your own joy, we are actually saying to you: Your joy is the greatest gift that you can give to anyone. Because unless you are in your joy, you have nothing to give, anyway"

Now, go ahead and love........;-)

Cheers!

Fresh

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://zo.gaia.com — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 17:58:27 GMT

I have experienced the overwhelming passionate love.... but it is often volatile and/or one-sided...

I have founder over time & experience that no matter how lonely or passionate I feel... real love is gentle... patient... and most of all... it is shared.

When two hearts share energy, emotion, inspiration....

When you want the other persons best... even if that leads away from you and your hopes....

It is then you have discovered Love.

*add me as a friend!
it will make your day

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://jessica.gaia.com — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:52:03 GMT

What an interesting subject :) And, the comments are awesome. I feel like we could talk about this topic forever.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to suggest a book, The Female Brain by Louanne Brizendine. It explains some of the (literally) addictive qualities of romantic love and why it can make us feel crazy and out of control. We often "fall in love" and become consumed with emotion. We may even abandon reason and our own well-being only to find ourselves wondering why we're making the choices we are as we follow our dopamine addiction down the road of confusion and drama.

And yet, I believe in falling in love. I'm a romantic ;) i think you can fall in love and use your wisdom to discern whether it is right for you. i think love, combined with wisdom makes us better people, more generous, and ideally, kinder to ourselves as we grow in self-love (which is essential, as Brother White Wolf & Muse mention).

And Jackie, wow. What amazing comments and a beautiful story. I think you're right love doesn't have to be defined by time and is something you cultivate as you cultivate yourself.

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://jlz.gaia.com — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 09:13:20 GMT

hey Captain

Person Love ...overwhelming love ... 'excess energy' ... absence of fear, new-trust, companionship... balance.

DON'T BURN IT OUT ...put it on a slow burner....

As for the globe .... GLOW GLOW GLOW .. that love.. glow at me & I glow back .. we're so primitave still.

ºjlz

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 14:53:17 GMT

I love this topic, ok....

I think the word overused and vastly misunderstood to the extent that it has lost its true meaning...much the way unique has. Many people modify unique with things such as "most unique" etc. Well, unique stands alone. It is its own standard.

Love is an action. It is a choice. It comes in many forms. I love my cat, she gives me sweetness in return. I love the sunrise. It gives me beauty in return. I love my brother. He gives my laughter and joy and love in return - we can love all things and all people on different levels and yet on the same. We love the world and the world loves us back. It is love act and practice of love that we bring to any relationship that makes it unique and personal.

Loving a human - well, many of us have been taught to believe that love includes the expectation of a return of some sort. It does not, in my opinion, and once we understand that concept, the return comes anyway in the form of the choice by another to love you back, the real you, not just the facade of you. And when you come to romantic love, well yes, you want it returned and when it is and is accompanied with great sex, we are all walking on a cloud. But all of that comes from within us and not the object of our love. If you think of it, you could learn to love someone you did not love so much in the beginning. We are accustomed to that initial burst of "love", me included, and its addictive and wonderful and a fabulous human experience. But the "burst" with the cultivation, is not romantic love, it is attraction.

Re: committed love - married or otherwise - the romance ebbs and flows - you wouldn't be getting your life done if all you did was live in physical gratification, although tons of that goes a long, long way :) It doesn't have to leave either. It is always there waiting for you. But deep love is cultivated. Sometimes you see in 3-4 days that this is a person with whom you can cultivate real love and so you go down that path. For it to be deep, cultivated and committed love, that person will go down the path with you. And you feel the love in a brief amount of time, but you are responding to other things and only time will tell which type of love you have.

And....circumstances can impact the depth of love. I loved someone for 3 years more deeply and intensely than many people I know who have been in love for 30. I will always love him, but he is no longer here. It was a huge gift to have loved him and know he loved me back equally on a physical level and a spiritual level. Our circumstances enabled that to occur. It is my gold standard. I am capable of it again. I will find it again. It comes from within and opens you up to the "within" of another human being. If you can find the true center of someone, and live there with them, then you find true love and one moment of that is worth every conceivable risk you might take.

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 21:11:22 GMT

cheers gal,
what to do ? just tread him with all this love and find way to his heart ~ true love needs no explanations and i wish you all the luck in the world with him - just be good and beblessed you hear me (-:)

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://environsand.gaia.com — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 05:40:50 GMT

I believe in love...
at first sight
unconditional love
encompassing love
true love

I believe love is real but we can be so frightened of
it that we can destroy it-or be too scared to go for it.

And that some cannot even know it-having truly not
ever receiving it before.

True love can be so absolute that you can live your life
in suspense of that moment.

P.S -I too am only learning these things too- or should I say
I am only just realising them to be true.
But now I know what my soul longs for and that I was right in
how it really should be!

Good luck with you love-

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://laserbabe.gaia.com — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 15:49:00 GMT

I heard someone once say that romantic love rarely lives up to the word love as we otherwise apply it. You love your cat, your dog, your children, and you would never think of trading them in for a younger model, one with more money, etc, etc, yet it is common and expected with romantic love.

So interesting...

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://shanti.gaia.com — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 02:27:13 GMT

Is it possible that we sometimes confuse love with being in love? Individulas paths might diverge, but how about the issue of support? Is being supportive of one's partners dreams, hopes or ambitions loving them - I believe so - at a minimum I hope so. I believe that Muse has some valid points.

Blessings,
Starwalker

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://aleaso.gaia.com — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 16:13:00 GMT

Namaste All

I would like to agree and disagree with you dear Brother.

I didn't wish to be mean about it, but I told him if it was love they would still be together. he conceded that fact, even though he didn't want to.

I disagree with this for several reasons. all of which is only my personal opinion, i humbly share.
- I used to chase the dream of this one great love that will last forever. I am married at the moment and love my husband dearly. I was madly in love with him, when this passion faded i realized I never loved myself...so this process started. (so i agree with you there).
I realised as my path took me on a road of discovering self love and unconditional love (and now trying to love unconditionally as often as possible...not easy) that love just is. It can not be measured and can not be quantified. it is only our expression that changes.

If you (and I have done this) love someone intensely. You can truly love them with your heart and soul for a few days and then its over. It does not mean it was never love because you went separate ways. it just mean that your path with that person is no longer on the same route. And is you love that person and yourself you will respect and accept the path...but no need to deny that it was love. There is enough love to have many many true loves in one lifetime.

Why do we have to equate love to a permanent situation. If I love someone and accept when they die and go on with my life does this mean i did not really,love them. If I love someone truly, but have a different destiny or view on relationship does that mean i do not love them?

I would love a discussion as I am finding out more and more about love and think perhaps we have equated marriage, lifelong commitments, fidelity, monogamy and also the "I can not live without him/her" etc. to love. They are just different expressions.

I too am a romantic...but perhaps there is a distinction to be made between romance and love.

Probably the greatest thing anyone can bring to a relationship, is to love themselves

I 150% agree with this. This statement changed my life. By loving myself, I was able to let unconditional love flow through me..bring me joy share it with others in many different ways, grow and change. It helped my marriage and everyone around me.
And I guess this is also a good tool when having amazing feeling for others, physical attraction obsession etc. Always make sure what you do is out of love for yourself..in expressing your love for another. If you loose yourself in order to "love" another...there is probably an imbalance.

And as said...enjoy the ride...the theme park of love has many many different rides, some are painful, some are just simply exhilarating, others nurturing...

Love Light and Laughter
Muse

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://Krika.gaia.com — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 13:42:28 GMT

oo ooo ooo... love this thread! Got to make a plug for a favorite pod:

Embracing the Single Life

check out most recent thread there about"burning without getting consumed" HOT!

http://pods.zaadz.com/single_lifestyle/discussions/view/63133

love (true love that is),

Krika!

PS: sorry, I can't make the BOLD print go away... I need computer coaching.

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 12:53:39 GMT

I think love is more a journey, than a statement. here in the U.S. we love a song, or meal or television show. but rarely find true love with the human elements. one can love someone after a few days, but it is nowhere as intense as loving them for nine years.

As a man, I am not afraid of love, but I am a romantic too :)

love is an action for me as well, the fulfillment of my desire to build and be a part of something greater than I. When "I" becomes less and "we" become more, then the substance of the relationship is established.

Love takes a lot of work, and practice, no one can claim to be the authority of love, it is a difficult task master. I had a friend once who was commiserating over a breakup with his boyfriend of only a couple of months. "yeah but we really loved each other", my response was. I think you were in love with the ideals of love and the idolatry of love, but not really in love. he said I was wrong, I didn't wish to be mean about it, but I told him if it was love they would still be together. he conceded that fact, even though he didn't want to.

Probably the greatest thing anyone can bring to a relationship, is to love themselves. not in a heady arrogant narcissistic way, but in a gentle soul measurement. When one's core values are established, then there is room for growth with another person. When one's core is off center, then the destination is dysfunctional relations to various degrees.

these are just some of my opinions on love, take them, leave them. but more importantly please love yourself first, then others.

peace
bww

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 04:51:12 GMT

If you don't want to scare him, then I wouldn't mention the L word any time soon; if he's a typical male, that'd do it. And honestly, you can't know in four days if this is the real thing. Get to know him, and get to know your own feelings, better, first. But I wouldn't avoid him.

Just remember to breathe (so you don't blurt out anything or stutter, you know). And enjoy the ride.

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

http://2getherwestand.gaia.com — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 03:32:18 GMT

I met him 4 days ago, and I'm so striken by him it takes me away from my daily work, but I don't want to scare him away.... I just know that I'm in love (or waking up really well) with him.

Re: LOVE HELP!!!

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 01:36:04 GMT

Certainly anything that causes you to shoot yourself (or anyone else) is not love.

It sounds a lot more like infatuation to me, which passes, and sometimes leaves love in its wake.

I've been married to my husband for more than 15 years now, and we're more in love than ever. True love heals (and boy did I need it); it sustains; it makes you want to help change the world for the better, so everyone can feel it.

Is this a crush on someone you see in your life? Why avoid this person? Why not see if infatutation turns into love? Maybe s/he feels the same way. Why not find out?

LOVE HELP!!!

http://2getherwestand.gaia.com — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 01:24:54 GMT

We've been talking about love and how it can change the world, but what about that stuff that pulls you away from daily life because you're head over heals with someone? now how do you define that?????rush what do youou have a c They said go crazy, go out of your mind, but when you have a crush on someone what do you do????? Shoot for the moon?? shoot yourself??? get lost, or just avoid the person????

OK SO WHAT AM I NOT UNDERSTANDING ABOUT LOVE???