Gaia: Transpersonal Dating

Chicagoland

http://powerofserenity.gaia.com — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:32:17 GMT

I'm currently going to college in Champaign - but anyone else here from Chicago area? :)

Jennifer

Baltimore?

http://shawnterrell.gaia.com — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:37:21 GMT

Anyone in the area? Would like to discuss this topic. Very interesting.

Re: Invite?

http://ADLIAC.gaia.com — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:05:11 GMT

An invite to what?

The best approach to anything would be to fill out your profile, add some photos, blog a bit, put in books, quotes, and goals, get some Friends, join some other groups and post there as well, then put your location here and see if anyone in your area can find you here and wants to meet.

You can also search for folks in your area, in the Members section.

Hope that helps.

OM Bastet

Invite?

http://DesertDoug.gaia.com — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:59:33 GMT

How do I go about getting an invite.
Thanks,
Eagleman

Re: Indianapolis IN

http://turtle73.gaia.com — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:37:39 GMT

I live in Delphi which is about 1 1/2 hrs north of you! You can add me if you want....I am fairly new here too.

Indianapolis IN

http://sayyadena.gaia.com — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:35:50 GMT

Hi there, I am new today. Anyone in the Indy area?

Re: Freud's Psychosexual Stage Theory

http://jackii.gaia.com — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:35:13 GMT

i think freud and reich were important factors of their times, stimulating dialog among the other researchers. and like with all sources of authority, i pick and choose from the whole by what works for me in the moment.

i do think that that the more radical things freud was saying about sex are important to put to a thorough self-examination. much of it is still in the collective shadow, repressed and denied.

Re: Freud's Psychosexual Stage Theory

http://bluublox.gaia.com — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:44:29 GMT

Freud was a crackpot just like [Wilhelm] Reich...
They both got some things right; but none of it had to do with sex...

Re: Wilhelm Reich and Sex Economy

http://jackii.gaia.com — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 05:21:20 GMT

this could be a long road. the sexual shadow (repression and denial) that so many parents (consciously and/or unconsciously) righteously give their children is a really big.

i do believe that there is an acceleration going on in which people, in general, are getting more comfortable with their sensually-driven sexuality, as opposed to the neurosis-driven sexuality.

there might be a critical mass that can be reached, like a 100th monkey.

Wilhelm Reich and Sex Economy

http://WHITEWAVE.gaia.com — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:08:56 GMT

Has anyone ever heard of this? I just stumbled upon it last night and saw myself in the mirror.

Sex Economy

Especially when it came to this portion: Orgastic Potency,
this part: Results of Vegetotherapy (Vegetotherapy works on the Autonomic nervous system) [Consequences for Human Civilization, Self-regulation Fundamental Feature, Natural Children],
this part: Connecting Vegetative Sensations and Religion [Religious Conversion]
and this part: Implications for Politics and Social Environment

"The sex economic position dictates that the principal objectives for all politics must be to shape society and living conditions such that the freely spontaneous and vegetative life can unfold as freely and as strongly as possible; because this is the best possible housekeeping of the sexual energy (which sex economy identifies as the life energy). In order to achieve this objective every human being must be free to administer its own body and be able to freely follow and fulfill their own wishes, sexual and other, as long as in doing this it doesn't violate corresponding wishes of others. Also, society must deliver the external conditions which allow for this to occur. Furthermore, society must produce a rearing process that respects all the natural desires of the children and give them the opportunity to develop freely the way their internal will wishes, in natural interplay with other equally free children and adults. And finally the working process must be shaped such that each person fully, or at least for the main part, are allowed to do the work they like and in cooperation with the ones they enjoy being with, so that work no longer shuts down or kills the free joy of life, but on the contrary becomes itself an expression of it."

What does it all mean? Is this why I abhor the Neuro Linguistic Programing and Speed Seduction ideas so much? Because they take away my full conscious ability to choose? For someone who is in the "neurotic" class, this could be considered a good thing, in a way, because they need outside help in overcoming their resistance. But for someone who does not have resistance, this is a problem. How do we solve this dilemma? How do we create a helpful social environment for everyone?

~Ww

Re: southern appalachia

http://jackii.gaia.com — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:28:21 GMT

yay! i've moved to asheville, nc.

so far it has been a powerful event. i'm living with a yoga instructor and fellow shadowworker from my men's group. i'm exercising a lot more, eating a lot better, drinking alchohol is almost nil, tv watching is much less (no cable). and we're talking about taking it all to a new level, and we're cautious to do it mindfully.

i even have a partial job (not that i need one yet). I'm helping a small job construction contractor to do various tasks that free him up to focus on getting the work done right. the guy is extremely easy-going and fun to work with. he has other people that can work with him, so it's not anything i can count on. however, it's good experience and good exercise and good social interaction when he wants me to help out.

asheville is a very cool city. you wouldn't believe all the options i have to join various groups that promote evolution in the green, indigo, violet, and non-dual.

Re: southern appalachia

http://jackii.gaia.com — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 06:28:43 GMT

next weekend, i'll be dancing at an event called a drum dance. i did this last year, as well. it involves a food, water and speaking fast from sundown friday until late morning sunday. it also involves dancing in a straight line forward and backward to the beat of a native american style of drumming (mostly lakota songs). we dance about six hours over that time, and rest in silence in an outdoor shelter most of the rest of the time.

there is lots of ritual involved, including a sweat lodge and lots of smudging.

it is rather amazing how intensely close people can get to each other without talking. the dance has a overall intention of personal and global health.

there is also a similar dance that lasts an extra day longer. i've helped other people dance in that extended dance last weekend, and found it extremely rewarding.

it's impossible to explain just how time stops at these events, and how much happens in the few days we gather.

Re: Polyamory

http://jackii.gaia.com — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 09:14:19 GMT

this is the first dating site i've decided to become a member. i avoided all the other sites, because my perception of all the other sites is that they are all about two options. one is playuhs telling outright lies that sound good so they can 'score', and the other is people that tell half-truths who want to tie down a 'mate' for life.

this site appeared different to me, in that it is for people that want to use their connection as a launching pad for loving and evolving with the rest of humanity and the earth.

their is nothing but paradoxii : ) everywhere i turn. so i'll own up to the paradoxical gentle attraction to both scoring and tying down.

the feeling in my heart is definitely poly. which is very difficult in a world with so small a percentage of poly people. and my heart also whittles down my possibilities even more as i am a unisexual, and looking for other unisexuals (not gender-identified).

i have so developed and fused my masculine and feminine so deeply that i no long relate to men's and women's issues. i honor men's and women's issues as important steps for self-examination in order to develop and fuse masculine and feminine, which from my perspective is a powerful step of evolution.

luckily and/or cursedly, i'm very patient.

i'm reminded of alanis' song, 21 things i want in a lover, "i'm in no hurry, i could wait forever, i'm in no rush cause i like being solo, there are no worries and certainly no pressure, in the meantime i'll live like there's no tomorrow."

and the chorus of that song, "these are 21 things i want in a lover, not necessarily needs but qualities i prefer, i figure i can describe them, as i have a choice in the matter."

the paradox in this is that my body is craving sooooo many forms of intimate contact, after 3 or so years of searching for compatible people, without finding any, and not compromising.

welcome margie,

Re: Polyamory

http://giegieb.gaia.com — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 02:35:03 GMT

I just joined this pod so I hope this post is fitting, but here goes. My sister is poly. The interesting thing is that she became poly primarily to approach her relationships in a more feminist way. She considers polyamory one of the only ways to be feminist while in a relationships. I think the idea is that in polyamorous feminist relationship, one doesn't "own" your partner the way one does in a monogomous relationship- and owning another person objectifies them, thereby making the approach less feminist. So basically, the flexibility and independence along with the abundance of communication that tends to be present in polyamory allows a feminist to engage in relationships without being caught in the patriarchal traps set by monogomy (such as ownership, jealousy, power struggles, etc.) It's an interesting thought. I have had no personal experience with this approach to love, so I don't really know, but it is something to think about.

Re: Northern California

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 20:35:15 GMT

I like your words Gabriel, and I do think there are men out there who value that aspect of a relationship immensely. I was recently told that in the States, it's not comme il faut (good manners) to talk about exes and their flaws or whatever. Sure I know it's like that over there - ridiculouos dating going on for ages, all just facade and now truth, until then it all breaks down after marriage... My approach scares Americans because I'm direct and blunt and revelatory of major events in my life. It's part of my Finnish background but also do I want to see right away whether the person in question is being scared off or not. I'm a strategic warrior who doesn't want to be trapped or blamed of deciet. In my mind that's how intimacy can going very fast, by really opening up on the vulnerable levels as soon as possible.

Ww, apparently the google map did not show your right location, which is a bit sad because it really looks like I'm packing up my things to go to Kansas early next year. I'd love to meet you in person and mirror stuff with you on that level too. No, I'm not into women, but I'm eager to talk to and bond with them. It could be both men and women basically but men of course, well if you meet them in real life it tends to become a black and white situation where you need to go for the courship or nothing else. Cheers! :-)))

Re: Polyamory

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:48:14 GMT

Of course there are lots of demands on dating sites and people who are unaware of themselves and what they really want make long lists of what they think they want. The more aware ones make lists of what they think they need. Then the even more conscious ones try and embrace being human and having certain particular needs depending on who they are and where they are at in life, and a more liberal allowance of finding surprises that life offer in the way of other people/encounters. I don't think anyone can really know all of their needs, that would be superhuman and there would be nothing to discover on this level of life. But it's important to know many of the needs, to try and discover them - I think they are tools that help us define who we are and what we should go for in life. I tend to think in terms of paradoxes so I would try and embrace the knowing as well as the not knowing. There's a danger in escaping responsiblitly by being poly just as there are dangers in a monogamous relationship. There are just different paths depending on what you need to learn and uncover about yourself. Thus one can be open regarding the idea of polyamory but feel in one's heart wether it's really something that's ok for oneself. In my own life it reflects as an interest in the idea only, not in putting it into practice.

Re: Polyamory

http://jackii.gaia.com — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:20:48 GMT

i like being a loner, too. i've had lots of wonderful adventures without committed partner(s).

Re: Polyamory

http://jackii.gaia.com — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:11:13 GMT

i feel there is a balance that is beneficial, allowing others to fill needs and also looking within, both in monogamous and poly relationships. both sources (within and without) have potential to fulfill and/or unfill. and with other lessons of life being learned, i have realized that there is no difference between within and without. both are fused as One.

i like poly because it doesn't ask one person to be the one main source. it allows individuals to shine in their own expertise of sharing the energies that inspire.

there can still be challenging a person to expand their abilities, but it is not (in theory) demanding.

as in monogamy, there are many unattractive examples of poly.

Re: Polyamory

http://bluublox.gaia.com — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 14:10:36 GMT

It doesn't- that's the point...
It's the most anti-egotistical form of relationship...
...Helps break up lots of those attachments you have built up.

If you wanna be a loner, go ahead...

Re: Polyamory

http://shawnterrell.gaia.com — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 11:39:25 GMT

Just a quick note. I have never evgaged in poly, but I am recently separated form a 15 year marriage (6 months). I went on one of those dating sites and found it overwhelming. There seems to be this sense that we should find much of our happiness in someone else. It is almost like a demand that comes out in the "profiles" -- "must have these qualities" etc. I get this disconcerting sense that I am being asked to be responsible for someone elses happiness.

I understand there may be some projection going on here, but I also think we are cutlurally conditioned to seek happniess outside ourselves. I for one am engaged in an effort to to test that. I feel much happier outside the marriage, and am working on the loneliness through meditation which is beginning to help.

How does poly relate to this notion of demanding that others be the sourse of your happiness?