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My opinion is closer to the normal psychological approach than anything else.
“Falling in Love” is something that most of my community views as a drug. We call it “New Relationship Energy” and it is that period of infatuation that begins a relationship. This is the euphoric phase of first meeting this bright, shiny new person, who fits every wish we could ever want filled!
Many of us have seen people make horrible, disasterous decisions during this phase.
The thing is, this phase really is just us projecting ourselves onto the other person. As we get to know the other person better, we get to know that person's quirks and failings. We learn how the person truly lives eir life, and all of the layers of joy and hurt that makes em.
Somewhere in there, we either form an emotional attachment to the other person, or we do not. Either way, somewhere in there, as we learn about the person and learn how to truly open up, that is when we find out who e really is. Should all goes well, and should we not hurt each other too much in the process, an actual loving relationship begins somewhere in during the NRE, and then survives or even thrives when the euphoria wears off.
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