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I bow in the general direction of Kenneth the Brave! WOOT!
Right on, man! You're my first!
So, yeah. A working solution, indeed! I wonder if that separation thing is really the “mental projection of the digital [personal] self”. Splitting off into roles and modes. I wonder if there is a way to mesh all that higher up.
In the relationship I'm sortof in now, I really enjoy helping him with his work and he loves it when I'm there. I'm the only person he allows to organize his tools in his automotive shop because I do it better than even he would, and he's pretty anal about that. That's a source of fun for both of us. I would love it if he helped me with my work, but that hasn't really manifested.
But I find something happening to him that I suspect is quite common. He splits himself in half. He wants to do only work with one part of himself, and save the other part of himself for me. Expanding the portion that does work doesn't really unite the two. It only leaves me sitting on the shelf. And when the work has really captured his imagination for survival (i.e. it isn't bringing in enough money and the bills are piling up…), he goes into that mode where he's always putting out fires. He always needs my practical help, but is never available for more conscious relating. There must be a better way.
I'm coming to the conclusion that where we put our consciousness is crucial here. He seems to split his, to the point of disassociation. While one is on, the other is off. I have mine expanded to run two operating systems at once. Neither one of those options gets the whole job done very well. This is nutty.
I wonder if when our relationships begin, there is so little personal level time logged on the sheet, that we just don't feel the weight of it so it seems transpersonal - or maybe more specifically, impersonal. “They're just a neat man/woman who is doing life with a sense of adventure and seems to want to give their love to me and receive my love.” It's so uncomplicated. But I suspect that that's really just pre-personal.
Maybe the way to tell the difference would be when all the personal time starts getting laid down, does it make a big difference? When the transference breaks because personal time disqualified them as a hook for my good projections (Shadow Work), how to we progress past that? Does it cause big ripples or small ones?
I think that however many people are in this love/sex relationship is the number of consciousnesses that are available to see us. The stuff that is hidden from ourselves is totally exposed - just like using a double mirror to see what your butt looks like in those pants. And the more consciousness we can allow and invite into our space to see all that junk we're hiding, the more ready we will be for the transpersonal leap. Pre-personal gets irritated when our hidden stuff is seen and named, so it remains hidden and consciousness is reduced. Where there is no consciousness, there is no love. The personal mistakes ignorance of the hidden for love.
This makes sense to me. But I am really thinking with my keyboard here… I don't have answers. I'm just trying stuff on to see if it fits.
Does my butt look big in these pants? <–[joke]
~Ww
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