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Re: Transpersonal and/or/vrs Instinctual Relationships

Whitewave said Sep 3, 2006, 12:09 AM:

I see. So it seems as if they have been chosen consciously, is that right? Deliberately and intentionally from a high place of deep freedom. That would be very cool!

That sounds like it would work.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was too spaced out either. That makes sense.

I just have my doubts about it if it is not chosen from that higher place. If it is just following animal instinct, then I think it is pre-personal. Like aranged marriages where it will work regardless of who you're marrying because it's all about the roles.

Trans-personal would be more of a lets-do-this-because-it's-fun thing. So that when it's not fun anymore, or it needs to be put on hold for whatever reason (one spouse becomes ill or dies) it can be abandoned without wreaking havoc on one's identity. That may be what is essentially going wrong in India when a man dies and his wife dies with him on his funeral pyre.

But, keep talkin'. This is good. Fascinating!

~Ww

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Re: Transpersonal and/or/vrs Instinctual Relationships

Kenneth [no longer around] said Sep 4, 2006, 2:47 PM:

Agreed. If it’s done consciously as one rather than fallen into on a pre-conscious level.

One of the things I told my wife in the beginning stage of our relationship was that I would be quite happy living together as celibates or on an intimacy-for-esoteric-purposes-only basis. Our choice for me to primarily act out a King role, rather than the Magician was a conscious one made after the initial barriers to our relationship had been dissolved.

Kenneth

Re: Transpersonal and/or/vrs Instinctual Relationships

Whitewave said Sep 4, 2006, 3:13 PM:

Gorgeous!

And no doubt, fun!

Thank you so much for your contributions.

I have much to tell, but as a unit, we're not fully conscious yet. When I sense the coast is clear to decide to talk, I'll spill.

Blessings.

~Ww

Re: Transpersonal and/or/vrs Instinctual Relationships

Kenneth [no longer around] said Sep 10, 2006, 7:54 AM:

BTW these instincts fall very much in line with the idea of courtly love. I guess there is an idea that courtly love is a style of relating that is artificial and pasted on over top of whatever else is there… hmmm

My first marriage began when I was 22, she was only 2 weeks before turning 20. Neither of us had a clue. Our first child was born about 1 1/2 years later. I remember searching for books that would give me a clue about being a good husband and father… had no experience of seeing a good relationship to model my behavior on… We had our own business and worked together daily… much like we did at the end of our marriage, actually…

By the early 90’s books were hitting the shelves that were actually useful (to me at least) and after (and towards the end of) that marriage I took responsibility, studied up, made and kept resolutions… though I know it’s not for everyone the book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” was the single book that most helped me to get clued in.

So, are is my current style ‘pasted on’ ? I think the old style was pretty well scoured away and what I feel as the instinctual style (because I allow it to surface from a grounded place deep within) has grown up in it’s place with some mindful tending on my part. The old dysfunction style had to be scrubbed away first, though.

Kenneth

Re: Transpersonal and/or/vrs Instinctual Relationships

savanni [no longer around] said Feb 21, 2007, 11:12 AM:

You you explain the terms “King” and “Magician”? I have no context in which to understand these terms.