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I saw in a previous exercise (KTS Ex 48 - Space Communication), the way space 'gives' appearance. In this exercise, KTS Ex 44 - FEEL OF SPACE, which is a good follow-up, I got to investigate space as a 'field' in light of the knowledge dimension. I particularly liked it because of this quote, and its resonance with my direct experience, which will be reflected in my practice notes further below:
“Just to recognize pain as the 'feel' of space has a deeply healing quality.” KTS p.210
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Instructions: (Knowledge of Time and Space) KTS Ex 44 - FEEL OF SPACE Direct your attention to the stream of thoughts. At the first level, one thought arises and then disappears, to be replaced by the next, like a smoothly functioning computer program. At a second level, attention can shift to what happens when the thought comes to an end; sensitively observed, the thought 'opens' into a kind of space-a 'deprogramming' in which it becomes clear that the stream of mental chatter is not necessary.
Beyond this, there is a third level, at which it is no longer necessary to make a sharp distinction between thoughts and the space between them, for the thoughts also appear as space. A way into this awareness is to focus on the 'opening' of thought into space in such a way that you both see and do not see it. This might be considered a 'reprogramming', in which old distinctions and concerns are no longer operative.
COMMENTARY from the book One way to understand the practice of this exercise is to see what it is not. When a thought disappears into openness, we can validly inquire 'where' it disappears to. But here we are simply exploring directly the quality of opening. Opening to the 'feel' of space in this way communicates a knowledge that makes it possible to act without having to adopt new structures.
Certain ways of questioning thoughts depend for their effectiveness on replacing old concepts with new ones. For example, we may try to replace feelings of guilt or pain with feelings of acceptance and well-being. But such an approach affirms the underlying structure of concepts and judgments. It simply reverses the directionality of certain judgments or else 'works with' concepts to change their content. The present approach is quite different, for it starts by simply seeing the thinking mind in operation. The result is powerful: In the very moment that it is seen directly in this way, the mind disappears.
This could be just the right moment to ask the question mentioned above: Where does a thought go when it goes? The question would be asked not for the sake of establishing an answer, but to acknowledge after thorough inquiry that we do not know, to get clear on the difference between knowing and not-knowing, and perhaps to try to know what is unknown, or else acknowledge in what sense the known is also unknown.
Inquiry on this level can be tremendously valuable, but it continues to accept certain points as being in operation. Even though the thinking mind has disappeared, its legacy shapes the inquiry. New possibilities open, but these possibilities are understood as alternative structures that will be 'built up' in the same way as the past structures that have now momentarily disappeared.
Going directly to the 'feel' of open space offers an alternative to these approaches. Here the mind can enjoy more beauty, accepting a standing invitation to 'enter' a different realm in which there is nothing for the mind to do. Within the 'feel', the display of personality becomes the play of freely manifesting patterns. Seeing itself frees the rhythm of appearance, making seeing a partner to allowing. The outcome is knowledge that is richer and more penetrating. 'Doer' and 'doing' become aspects of action rather than separate entities. Practice of the exercise invites an analytical and therapeutic observation-an evocation of knowledge.
We might imagine that Space has made an investment in appearance. We are the inheritors of that investment, and if we use it wisely, it will enable us to communicate fully the prospects for human being. Or perhaps we can go further-Space has already invested wisely, in a way that gives our lives their worth and being. If we explore without presuppositions, we can discover for ourselves the wealth that space has accumulated. We can see that space is alive; not bound by a 'from-to' structure because it does not insist on origination. Nor is there even the more subtle structure of 'to-to-to'-this space to this space to this space, or form to space, or space to form.
When Space is understood in this way, objects appear as treasures of tremendous beauty and luxury. Sound, too, appears differently, so that communication and even meaning can come directly from Space.
The exploration that makes Space available is deeply enjoyable, even humorous, alive in a unique way. If we exercise this exploration for even a short time, we understand the Space of Time, the Space of Knowledge, the Space of Space. We see the Space of the object, the subject, the senses, the body. We may find changes in our ability to encompass the power of the mind and action, and gain new control over behavior.
The 'feel' of space is available even in the midst of tension, pain, or suffering, as their 'background-the inner 'no-structure' structure. Just to recognize pain as the 'feel' of space has a deeply healing quality. It is almost magical, like a transformation that restores to wholeness what had been shattered.
With Space as the great magician, there seems no need for anything else. There is a wealth of wellness, a hidden wholeness. Alive to space, we hear a silent whisper that has always been there, offering unheard of well-being. It as almost as though we were exercising a space therapy, based on 'no direction'. At the very center, at the most located and situated place of all, with lines and lineages in all directions, Great Space is alive and active.
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My practice notes: KTS Ex 44 - FEEL OF SPACE
Having recently experienced some physical pain, I had an interesting experience dealing with it, and the healing properties of space. (Note: this is not about comparing pain, but rather, embodying it. No doubt there are others who have experienced comparatively worse pain; for instance, giving birth, etc.)
I'd torn cartilage in the knee, and was at the hospital for an MRI. I was required to hold my leg in an exceedingly painful position for thirty minutes without moving, because each magnetic image built on the previous until the composite series of required images was obtained.
The situation went like this: The physical pain in my knee was intense, and there was a growing fear that I would not be able to hold the position for the entire time. I felt pain and wanted to avoid it, however, it confronted me, and filled the entire space of my awareness. I was tensing my body, and holding my breath, and when I released long enough to exhale, whatever spatial awareness there was seemed to fill with more pain, fears of not being able to last, and fear of embarrassment if I gave up on the MRI, fear of not knowing what that would mean, and also fear of more pain, both of its intensity and duration. I felt physically tight and trapped, and there was no space. I seemed completely locked.
Each inhale was a lock-and-hold and each exhale was a nano-surrender that soon filled in with the continuous throbbing pain, and fearful thoughts. At one of the exhales the thought came from nowhere to ‘feel the space.' At that point I realized I was trapped in a very narrow perspective, and so decided to unclench and focus on the pain, but instead of trying to avoid it by thinking how I could not endure it; I focused directly into it, and allowed it to expand and occupy my full attention. I noticed where I felt it, how it felt, and how the rest of me was tensed up. As I relaxed I felt pain! Nevertheless, I maintained focus on where it hurt and how pain registered in my awareness as a kind of prevailing atmosphere. I also noticed as I did this, pain memories and fearful projections of future pain and embarrassment diminished. As I relaxed into it, pain was still present, but not the way I was previously allowing it. It became but one of the elements in the space within which the rest of me resided, and that space opened to a vastness that included areas that did not hurt. While pain was still there, ‘I' was not myopic about its presence, there were other things to observe; such as how breathing had become steady and calm, how the body had relaxed as I kept monitoring it (no longer locked and tense), and what this focal setting revealed was more available space, time presentations, and knowing distinctions. I had moved from a limited level of my knowing capacity to a more allowing level.
As I allowed more of what was available to present itself, the pain was no longer unendurable; it became, manageable, at least for the thirty minute time span I was given. I was no longer triangulating in a linear fashion from how intense the pain had been, to the ‘me-pain' now, to the fear of imagined future pain, over and over as each moment passed. I simply stopped projecting fear. Then, the attendant appeared above my head and said I was finished. It was actually a surprise! I thought there was at least another fifteen minutes to go. The structures of time relaxed and no longer confined, but instead, expressed the experience.
My wider perspective was about what I was feeling, and also about what I was making of it, and how closed or open I went about it, and about the feel of wideness, the knowing space of it. While my explanation now requires concepts and meanings, the knowing experience then had nothing to do with concepts or meanings, once fear was dissolved.
David
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