Unstuck Wah-hoooo.

I want to share something with you - Have A Beautiful Day And now I’ll tell you my story.

I cannot stuff all 6 file drawers of my journals in here so I’ll do the next best thing, effort to make this short!

My messy childhood (who hasn’t experienced that!!) made a hell of a foundation for motherhood so that was rather a mess as well. We all suffered! By the time I was in my late 30s (1970) I was incapable of even holding any reasonable employment & heading into a 4th divorce. My Soul ached for peace. Give me peace or give me death, as I was certainly dying anyway.

One morning I awoke to the feeling that both my legs were as if two cement columns. I had recently been told to start a journal & a new tablet lay blank on the night-stand. I intuited that I would be alright, somehow get through this new challenge, if I picked up the tablet & wrote 3 good things about myself. It took a mighty long time to stretch over to it, get the pen, & an even longer time to think up 3 good things about me! …………………..!!

(If I told you all that I faced in that final year of Eternal Stuck-ness I doubt you would be able to believe me, so I’ll just go on with the story.)

One by one I wrote as the answers trickled out: I am a good mother…….. I have tried my best with what I have……….. &..then for …….the first time in at least 20 years I cried as if dams had burst……….. I never finished writing the 3rd good thing. I began sobbing…..on & on …. into exhaustion, until I had to pee. Only upon standing did I realize my legs were no longer cement. The crying started all over again & on the potty I made my decision.

In spite of all the resistance from all family members for years on end, I would go back to school no matter what they said or did. And I did. They deserted me from all ends: my father, my husband, & my adult children. Don’t feel sad for me it is all just as well.

From then on it was a fast paced BA psychology, MA world religions, ten years living in spiritual retreat centers & monasteries & bla bla bla & except for short bumps along the way I have never experienced stuck-ness since.

Now when I hit a hard place in the road I allow myself to settle into it, feel it, talk with it, & learn all I can from it & then leap out of it; bad bumps usually last no more than 24 hours now:):):)

If you are curious I have put a few stories on my blog about my friend Kundalini, etc…….

Blessings & Love to all, there is hope! There is freedom from being stuck, even freedom from getting stuck!

PJ

Re: Unstuck Wah-hoooo.

Oh dear wrong link:)
Kundalini etc.

Unstuck

OH MY BELOVED

All those endless days………

You came to visit me

While I was gone

I sat & sat & sat

Waited …………..elsewhere…

You were sitting here!

I, so blind, I could not see you

For all my aching for you

I felt so alone

Then the rains came

With those terrible thunder storms

I knew I’d never find my way home

But you found me

Stuck, wallowing deep

You wrapped your love around me

Fed me, carried me home

My breathe is warmed now

My heart full.